by Catherine | Sep 26, 2018 | Podcast
My last podcast episode dropped July 11. We had made the decision to move forward with a new adoption agency to adopt a baby from South Korea. I promised to be back in September with new episodes, but I was going to take time off from the podcast so that I could focus on adoption paperwork and the start of the new school year.
Well…God decided we needed a little PLOT TWIST!
In today’s episode, I share all about our exciting news, how our family is responding to the change of plans, and what we’ve been up to since July.
Links/Resources mentioned in this episode:
Next Week:
I’m going to have my husband, Catholic dad and pediatrician, Dr. Philip Boucher, come on the show! I’ve received a lot of questions for him about pediatrics-related stuff. If you have any questions about pediatrics or parenting that you’d like him to answer, please send me your questions! You can e-mail me at podcast AT catherineboucher DOT com
I love hearing from you! Please send your questions, topic suggestions, book/TV/movie recommendations, and summer sanity saving tips my way. As always, you can find on FB OR IG or e-mail me at podcast AT catherine boucher DOT com
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by Catherine | Aug 25, 2018 | Uncategorized
Ever since we announced our pregnancy, we’ve gotten a lot of questions. I thought I’d type up a quick summary of your FAQ in case some of you were wondering them but didn’t feel bold enough to ask.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! But what about your adoption? Are you still adopting?
If a prospective adoptive family discovers that they are pregnant during the adoption process, they must immediately disclose the pregnancy to the agency. We contacted our agency as soon as we discovered we were pregnant. We agreed to keep our file on hold until I reach 12 weeks. At that point, the agency will close our file. You cannot pursue adoption and be pregnant at the same time.
Did you plan this?
In a word? No. I posted this to Facebook a week and a half before I took a pregnancy test. I didn’t know it then, but I was already pregnant. God was laughing.
How did you react?
My cycles are pretty textbook, and we’ve become *quite* familiar with my patterns since we started charting for NFP (Natural Family Planning) during our engagement. We switched to the Marquette Method of NFP to help us feel more confident during the postpartum phase after Dorothy was born. We were confident with the method. I had recently started taking new medications for hormonal acne that could change my cycle. When I was a few days late in July, I thought that maybe the acne medication was altering my cycle. “But that’s really weird for me to be this late….Maybe I’ll just take a test. It’ll be negative, but just to be sure…”
I was so confident that I wouldn’t be pregnant, that I took these on a whim an hour before we were leaving for Mass…on July 22…the first day of NFP Awareness Week and the 50th Anniversary of Humanae Vitae, Blessed Paul VI’s 1968 encyclical expounding on the Church’s teaching for married love and the transmission of human life. Again, God is hilarious!
Something happened in the seconds I waited for the results. I thought, “You know, this would be awesome. We’ve been trying to adopt for nearly two years now.” I started hoping for a positive. I glanced down to see the results.
And then I laughed! I took a few more tests for good measure because, well, they’re not 100% accurate, right? I immediately took the tests downstairs to find Philip.
How did Philip react?
The kids were playing in the family room, and Philip was coming upstairs. I waved him over and tried not to get the kids’ attention. I discreetly showed him the tests. He smiled, shook his head, gave me a huge hug, and said, “I knew exactly what you were going to tell me when you waved me over!” When you’re an NFP couple trying to avoid pregnancy and you know you’re a few days late, I suppose it’s not much of a surprise when your wife frantically waves you over with a sheepish smile.
Side note: We were both surprised when reviewing our chart to see that this is a DAY 5 BABY. That’s all I’m gonna say about THAT! God really wanted this baby. 🙂
Are you sad about the adoption?
It’s been a long road. We started the adoption process when Dorothy was shy of a year old because we knew it would take a few years. We were nearly done with our dossier to China when China changed their rules. Then, during our required wait for Dorothy to turn 3 to submit our application to China, we decided to pursue adoption from South Korea instead. We were literally two documents away from being ready to submit our application to South Korea when we found out we were pregnant.
I wouldn’t say that Philip or I are sad about the adoption. We were surprised by the news, but we both described feeling immediate joy and peace when we found out that we were pregnant. From the beginning of our adoption journey, we said that God would open the doors that needed opening and close the doors that needed closing. Back in July 2017, I wrote:
This is all a very general and broad overview of the process as we understand it. Only God knows how it will all play out! Meanwhile, we are doing what we can as we have time and are leaving the rest up to Him. We keep reminding ourselves that it is impossible for us to “miss” the child that God intends for our family. We are contentedly focused on the children God already blessed us with, and we plug away at adoption stuff in the fringe hours.
Will you still adopt in the future?
We hope so! We still think our family is called to adopt. Unfortunately, as we’ve learned these past few years, adoption is a tough, long road to haul. Having 4 biological children eliminated us from a lot of countries for international adoption. Having 5 biological children limits us even more. South Korea’s limit was 4 children already in the home.
For now, our focus is on this biological baby that God sent our family. We will likely revisit adoption as we approach this baby’s first birthday.
How far along are you? When are you due? How are you feeling?
I’m between 10 and 11 weeks along, and I’m due around March 20th. We discovered during my first ultrasound that I released an egg from each ovary. Although only one egg was fertilized, each egg created a (painful!) cyst to support this pregnancy. I typically struggle with extreme nausea during pregnancy, but the increased hormones have made this pregnancy especially difficult. Aside from school drop-off and an OB appointment, I haven’t left the house in a month. Nonetheless, ever since our miscarriage with Therese, I’ve grown to find comfort in the nausea as a sign of Baby thriving. Baby is doing great, so we are thankful! Philip and the kids have been wonderful, sweet helpers. We appreciate all of your prayers and support for us as we prepare to welcome our newest family member!
by Catherine | Aug 9, 2018 | Uncategorized
I can’t think of a more perfect Gospel to bring comfort to those hurting in the Church.
“upon this rock I will build my Church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it.”
No matter what kind of hell we messed up human beings try to bring into the Church, Jesus promised us that the Church simply cannot and will not end. Period. He entrusted Peter with the keys to the Kingdom of heaven. He gave Peter the authority to be His vicar on earth. He entrusted Peter and the Apostles with the sacraments to bring healing and Communion to His Church. He knew He was going to suffer and die on the cross, that He would rise from the dead, and that the Church needed leadership until His Second Coming. He didn’t leave them orphans; He sent Peter and the Church the Holy Spirit to guide them.
And you know what?
Jesus did all of that knowing that we’d do our best to screw it all up.
But He still chose us to be part of His plan.
And He promised us that the powers of hell will never prevail against the Church.
Praise You, Jesus.
Just a few verses after Jesus entrusted Peter with the keys of the Kingdom, Peter started refuting God’s plan for bringing salvation to the world. Upon hearing Jesus say that He would go to Jerusalem to suffer, be killed, and rise, Peter said, “God forbid, Lord! No such thing shall ever happen to you.”
Do you understand the magnitude of what was happening here? Peter was actually trying to prevent Christ’s passion, death, and resurrection from coming to fruition. His love and allegiance to Christ became all about him and his feelings. (Never mind that a few chapters later Peter’s feelings would lead him to deny his beloved Christ three times.) It was all about what Peter wanted instead of Peter trying to figure out if it was somehow what God wanted.
So what does Jesus say to Peter? “Aw, friend, I know you love me, but it’s gonna be okay.”
Nope.
“Get behind me, Satan! You are an obstacle to me. You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do.”
Two things:
- He called the guy He entrusted with the keys to the Kingdom Satan.
- We become obstacles to God when we think like humans
If Peter, the guy Jesus Himself entrusted with the keys to the Kingdom can get called Satan, then of course the rest of us are capable of trying to bring hell to the Church. I certainly am. All the live-long day.
The Church wouldn’t have such a PR problem if it weren’t full of humans.
But there’s great, great news! It’s not our Church. (Again: Praise You, Jesus!) It belongs to Him. And we have to stop thinking like humans if we’re going to stop bringing hell to His Church.
As a mother, I cannot even fathom entrusting my children with the Church the way Jesus entrusted us with it. As much as I love my children, I don’t let their sticky fingers touch my pristine wedding gown. But isn’t that exactly what He does for us? He allows us, His children, with our sins to do our darnedest to mar His Bride, the Church. He allows broken, imperfect men to participate in the ministerial priesthood. Their soiled hands administer the sacraments. They distribute His literal Body. And you know what the best part is? The sacraments are not dependent on the holiness of the priest administering them. (Again: Praise You, Jesus!) In spite of their failings, the accused priests we keep hearing about in the news were still baptizing its newest members into eternal life, extending God’s real forgiveness in reconciliation, uniting couples in holy matrimony, feeding us Jesus in the Eucharist. Their failings are indeed a scandal, but they can never alter the Truth of what the sacraments are.
God never needed us. He chose us. And we let Him down every day. But He still chooses us. And perhaps He’s being glorified more because His Church has lived on for more than two thousand years in spite of us.
So what about the latest muckity muck happening in the Church? Well. It’s rotten. There’s plenty to have righteous anger about. I like to imagine table-turning Jesus confronting the individuals inflicting so much damage upon His Body–especially those entrusted with leadership positions.
But we have to make sure our response isn’t governed by emotions. We saw where that got Peter. Let’s put on the mind of Christ.
We can be angered and scandalized by the news, but we don’t need to fear what’s coming. No matter what hell remains to be uncovered, it cannot and will not ever affect the truth that this is Christ’s Church, and the gates of hell will never prevail against it. We should and must do what we can to ensure that the kinds of abuses that have taken place do not continue. It’s time for the sleeping giant (aka the lay faithful) to wake up and embrace our role as the universal priesthood of the Church. We must protect our most vulnerable and prevent further damage from taking place. But beyond doing everything humanly possible, we know sinful humans remain within the Church. So long as humans remain in the church, it will be a hospital for sinners instead of a museum for saints. But we can rest in the knowledge that it’s not up to us to keep it afloat. The Church is His. When Pope John XXIII went to sleep, he famously prayed, “It’s Your Church, Lord. I’m going to bed.” Let’s follow his example.
Keep bringing all of the muck to the Light. Bring it to the authorities. Bring it to the Cross for Christ to transform it. Allow Him to bring healing to the victims, to the perpetrators, and to all those scandalized by the failings of our imperfect members. May we never abandon Jesus because of Judas. Jesus, renew Your Church, draw Your faithful ever closer, and cleanse Your Bride. We refuse to leave You.
66 After this many of his disciples drew back and no longer went about with him. 67 Jesus said to the twelve, “Will you also go away?” 68 Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life; 69 and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.” 70 Jesus answered them, “Did I not choose you, the twelve, and one of you is a devil?” 71 He spoke of Judas the son of Simon Iscariot, for he, one of the twelve, was to betray him.
by Catherine | Jul 11, 2018 | Podcast
An adoption update! In today’s episode, I shared:
- Our history with wanting to adopt, our previous application to adopt from China
- Our decision to withdraw from our previous adoption agency and no longer pursue adoption from China
- A quick overview of how international adoption works in general
- The bad news: We have to start all over again (again)
- The good news: We’ve done it before, so we’re pros!
- The awesome part: Why we decided we are pursuing an adoption from South Korea (Check out our adoption agency’s information page to learn more about adoption from South Korea.)
- preserving birth order (our adopted child will be our youngest child and, God-willing, have younger biological siblings in the future)
- shorter timeline because of our goal to have at least one more biological child
- time between application and match (aka referral), averages between 6-12 months
- child is usually 18-30 months at the time of placement (aka homecoming)
- strong foster care system
- excellent medical care provided for child, accuracy of medical records sent to adoptive parents for deciding on referrals & continued communication
- possibility of relationship with birth parents
- our children are encouraged to join us on the trips there! (2 short, week-long visits involved)
- What does all of this mean for us right now?
- We are trying to complete all of our paperwork ASAP (goal: dossier submission in September)
I’m hitting pause on the podcast until September to focus on our adoption. I’ll be back in the fall with new episodes and interviews.
Please keep in touch until then! As always, you can e-mail me at podcastATcatherineboucherDOTcom or find me on Facebook or Instagram
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by Catherine | Jun 27, 2018 | Podcast
Sorry I missed you last week! We decided to skip town and head to Kansas City while our house’s main floor is getting a remodel. That picture is our family at Worlds of Fun as we waited out a rainstorm that never ended.
Trip recap:
New favorite thing: Donuts and drinks on the parish playground after Mass. Kids play, parents catch up. Everyone wins!
What I’ve been reading:
Book Buddies With Jane & Friends
- If you don’t know what I’m talking about, go back to Episode 013 Starting a Kids’ Book Club
- We have our next meeting this weekend to discuss Lisa Hendey’s book, The Mystery at Midnight ( from her Chime Travelers series about twins who go back in time to solve mysteries about saints)
- Listener Sheila contacted me to say that her daughters started their own book club this summer! They already met once and are hoping to read 3 books this summer.
Catechesis programs for little ones: What do you know about Catechesis of the Good Shepherd? How does your church reach the little ones?
The Well-Behaved Child by Dr. John Rosemond check discipline system
- 6 Checks (keep track on dry erase board in kitchen)
- Checks 1-3 are warnings (“buffer zone,” limit this for older kids)
- Check 4: Lose dessert
- Check 5: Lose screens
- Check 6: Go to bed 1 hour early
Amanda wants to know how I get the kids to “work it out”
- In response to my annual summer PSA on FB to the neighbors, letting them know that they’re going to hear a lot of screaming from my house that they haven’t been hearing all winter
- Summer rules
- Bodies have private parts that stay private
- Keep your body to yourself
- Tidy up before you leave
- Work it out
- Walt’s 1st grade teacher taught them: Unless there’s blood, barf, or a bathroom emergency, you can probably handle it.
- Talk to the person you’re having a problem with. Talk to them again. And again. Ask friends for help if you need to. Come to an adult if you really can’t work it out or if it’s an emergency.
- When they come to tattle, whine, or get me to referee I say
- That doesn’t sound like an emergency. That sounds like something you need to work out with _____. Come back if it’s an emergency.
- I let them know with my body language that I’m not engaging them on it.
- They come less
- How do you help your kids learn to work it out? Do you have household ground rules that are helping everyone to have a happier summer? Send them my way! I want to hear about them!
Please keep sharing the show with your friends! Teach them about the world of podcasts, put the show on their phones, and make sure they’re subscribed so that they won’t miss new episodes as they come out.
Get in Touch!
You can e-mail me at podcastATcatherineboucherDOTcom or find me on Facebook or Instagram
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