![Want to Become Catholic? Jump On In!]()
by Catherine | Jul 1, 2013 | Faith
So, you or someone you know is thinking about becoming Catholic? Maybe you’re still unsure, but you want to start investigating. Well, now’s the perfect time to jump on in! The water’s warm!
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| St. Peter’s Square in Rome |
Thousands of men and women are received into the Catholic Church at the Easter Vigil Mass on Holy Saturday each year. These new members of the Church go through a process called RCIA, the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults.
Most Catholic churches around the country begin their RCIA classes in the fall. My parish, for example, starts their classes in September. RCIA is an opportunity for those that want to present themselves as candidates for baptism to learn the ins and outs of the Catholic Faith.
The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops explains (via their RCIA site) that RCIA:
outlines the steps for the formation of catechumens, bringing their conversion to the faith to a greater maturity. It helps them respond more deeply to God’s gracious initiative in their lives and prepares them for union with the Church community. This process is meant to form them into the fullness of the Christian life and to become disciples of Jesus, their teacher. This includes an initiation into the mystery of salvation, the practice of faith, hope, and love, and other virtues in a succession of liturgical rites.
Persons baptized into another Christian church and now seeking full communion with the Catholic Church are also welcomed to participate along with catechumens in the RCIA in the process of learning about the Catholic faith and being formed in that faith. They bring to the process of preparation their prior experience of Christian life and prayer. For a baptized Christian, reception into full communion with the Catholic Church involves reception of the Sacrament of Penance and Reconciliation and then a Profession of Faith followed by the celebration of Confirmation and the Eucharist.
Each candidate’s journey will look different dependent on their previous spiritual formation, but the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops has a helpful Q&A site about the RCIA process.
Once you know the basics of the RCIA process, the next step is finding a Catholic church near you where you can begin your journey. Search online for your Catholic diocese’s (or archdiocese’s) website. With any luck, it will be up-to-date and list all of the Catholic parishes within the diocesan boundaries. Contact the nearest parish by calling the parish office and inquiring about starting RCIA classes in the fall.
From here, each parish will vary in how they go about the process. Regardless of where you are, you will be offered literature, resources, and meetings with various parish personnel to equip you on your journey with the information and prayers that you need before classes begin.
Once you begin your RCIA classes, you will be paired with a “sponsor” who will attend classes with you and serve as your mentor during the RCIA process. A sponsor is “called to show the candidates good example of the Christian life, sustain the candidates in moments of hesitancy and anxiety, bear witness, and guide the candidate’s progress in the baptismal life.”
So, whaddya think? Still on the fence? Keep asking questions! Now’s the time to tackle your biggest hang-ups with the Catholic Church. Enlist a well-catechized Catholic to help you find the answers to your questions. If you don’t have a friend that can serve in that capacity, or if it’s the wee hours of the morning and you have a question you need answered, check out Catholic Answers’ site Catholic.com. Second to the Vatican website, this is the second most frequented site related to the Catholic Church. This site has it all–tracts on sticky issues, discussion forums, a blog, an online library, archived episodes of the 2-hour daily radio show Catholic Answers, etc. (The Catholic Answers daily radio show is a phenomenal, unintimidating resource for those exploring the Faith. All of the shows are rich in content, but I highly recommend that those skeptical of the Catholic Church listen to a Q&A Open Forum for Non-Catholics episode.)
Another fantastic resource is Catholics Come Home. Whether you are non-Catholic, a non-practicing Catholic, or you’re a Catholic hoping to learn more about your faith, this site has plenty of information to help you along your journey!
Please use the comment box below to pose any questions or offer additional resources for those investigating the Catholic Church. Feel free to e-mail me at cboucher08@gmail.com as well!
![7 Quick Takes Friday (Volume 5)]()
by Catherine | Jun 28, 2013 | Family
-1-
Jane is still doing splendidly with her potty training and completed another sticker map last Sunday. Remember how she used her first completed sticker map to buy herself a Hello Kitty lunchbox? She used her second completed sticker map to buy the fam a dish of strawberry ice cream with sprinkles. Yum! Way to go, Jane!
Jane isn’t so sure why every stranger we meet isn’t as excited as Mom and Dad to hear about her triumphs on the potty. She told at least 3 employees at Costco, “I went poo poo on the potty!”
-2-
We got a cd of Veggie Tales songs from the library a few weeks ago. It’s all we listen to in the car! Walt spied some asparagus at dinner a few nights ago, and he immediately asked if he could try “Junior,” the cute asparagus boy from Veggie Tales. After we handed him a spear of asparagus, he launched “Junior” into a little song and dance and sang every word of “God is Bigger Than the Boogey Man.” As an added bonus, Walt loved the asparagus. Hooray for Veggies Tales and encouraging vegetable appreciation!
-3-
Philip and I became godparents for our friends’ precious baby last weekend. This is Philip’s first time as a godfather and my first time as a godmother for a non-family member. What an honor!
I cry at every baptism, but I was especially moved when the deacon gave my friend a blessing as Luke’s mom. It reminded me of the responsibility I have as the mother of my children to get them to heaven, and what a blessing it is to carry our own precious unborn Baby in my womb.
How sweet is that adorable little baby?! We love you, Baby Luke! May God bless and keep you always!
-4-
We took the kids to get haircuts the other night. Per usual, Walt hated the experience, and Jane loved every second of looking at herself in the mirror while chatting it up with the stylist. For surviving the ordeal, Walt got his first sucker. He seemed to think it was worth it because he smiled and said, “Mmmmmm! Licious!”
Doesn’t Walt look so old?! Jane said, “He’s not even your baby anymore!” I almost cried. These hormones are something else!
The kids finished their suckers at the dinner table and posed for a few pics. Here’s a little montage of the cute moment:
-5-
By no means have I traveled to all the ends of the earth, but I’m convinced that the state of Nebraska is home to some of the kindest people in the world. While we were getting the kids’ haircuts, a sweet woman named Margaret who looked to be in her sixties and was clearly a regular at the salon, struck up a conversation with me and Jane’s stylist. She asked all about our children, their ages, etc.
When I mentioned that Jane was starting preschool in the fall, she asked where, and I said our parish name. She immediately perked up and said, “Oh, that’s my church, and my sweet neighbor has kids that are just their ages! Her little boy is going to their preschool in the fall, too. You just have to meet for a play date! You remind me so much of her. They’re new to town, and she stays at home, so she’s looking for more friends and play dates.” So, the sweet lady turned into a play date/mom friend matchmaker, and I gave her my phone number to pass along to her neighbor because, well, that’s totally normal in Nebraska. We’ll probably bump into Margaret this Sunday because we go to the same Mass. How great is Nebraska?!
-6-
While Daddy did some yard work the other night after dinner, the kids and I played in the driveway. It’s my new favorite summer night activity! The kids love playing with their water table, coloring with sidewalk chalk, or scooting around on their tricycle and Cozy Coupe. Using one of our cars to block the end of the driveway creates a helpful barrier between the kids and the street.
Daddy found a worm in the dirt as he was digging around. Miss Jane thought “Squirmy” (her name for the worm) was the coolest guy ever! Unfortunately, Squirmy got stuck to the metal on Jane’s trike handle bar and split in two. Without skipping a beat, Jane held up both halves of Squirmy and said, “Cool! Look! Now I have 2 Squirmies!”
-7-
Left: Walt (4 months) & Janie (19 months). Right: Walt (2 yrs.) & Janie (3.5 yrs.)
The kids were playing so sweetly together yesterday afternoon. I had to snap the picture on the right. As I looked at that picture this morning, I had a flashback to the day they played together on the floor when Walt was just 4 months old and Janie was 19 months old. I love finding similar scenes in everyday life as they get older and putting them side by side like this. It’s incredible how their big personalities shine through even from the earliest age. Their expressions are the exact same in both photos!
Want to join the fun?
![7 Quick Takes Friday (Volume 4)]()
by Catherine | Jun 21, 2013 | Family
It’s been a fun week around here! Jane and Walt became roomies on Wednesday night, and they’ve done great with it. Keep praying for their continued success! I went through their closets and moved things around to make room for Baby in the nursery. Baby will be here before we know it!
This week, I’m dedicating my 7 Quick Takes to pictures of the kids monkeying around. Here are my 7 Quick Takes from this week:
-1-
We celebrated Walt’s 2nd birthday last month. Philip and I made the mistake of leaving the leftover cake in the cake box on the dining room buffet where we thought it would be out of reach. Our little monkeys helped themselves while I was in the shower one morning. I snapped these pictures as soon as I exited the bathroom when I heard Jane yell, “Mom! Mom! Look what we found! CAAAAAAAAAKE!”
They’re quite the tag team these days.
-2-
Another morning, we made the mistake of leaving some fruit on the dining room table that I was going to make into a fruit salad. When I got out of the shower that morning, I heard Jane yell, “Mom! Mom! Look what we found! FRUIT!!!” Jane, being the thoughtful 3-year-old and big sister that she is, helped herself to the strawberries (her favorite) and pushed the monster grapes (Walt’s favorite fruit and choking hazard before I slice ’em) over to Walt to enjoy.
-3-
Remember Jane’s sticker map? (It’s her new and improved reward system for using the potty.)
Well, Miss Jane successfully filled in her sticker map all the way to her coveted Hello Kitty lunchbox. So, we made a family trip to the store where she found it so that she could “buy” it. We explained that she had to pay for the lunchbox by turning in her sticker chart. She was so proud of herself! She bellied up to the counter and plopped her chart down next to her lunchbox, smiling ear to ear at the teenage girl behind the counter. After we left, I heard the sales girls say to each other, “Was that the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen?! Soooooo cute!”
-4-
In yet another showertime incident, Jane and Walt got into the sticker map reward stickers. This is what I found when I got out of the shower.
So, does this mean I can’t shower when they’re awake anymore?
-5-
Jane is very into drawing people and telling stories about the pictures she draws.
Here’s a drawing from the other day:
I said, “Wow! That’s beautiful! Can you please tell me all about your drawing? Jane said, “Sure! It’s a picture of you kissing Daddy and holding your baby.”
-6-
Yesterday, I took the kids to a fun (an
d free!) summer event hosted by our local children’s museum and shopping center. Part of the event was a bubble show. Jane and Walt were mesmerized by the show! While Walt hung out on my lap, Jane edged her way to the front of the crowd to check out the action. Can you spot her? She’s the one front and center in the blue polo and pink shorts.
I apologize for the crummy picture quality, but I had to crop one of the images of the faces she made as she watched the bubble show. I love this one:
Both kids took turns going in the “time machine” bubble (a bubble made around them with a hula hoop). Walt stepped right up with his little sippy cup and LOVED it!
What children’s event is complete without a photo op with a beautiful princess? Jane couldn’t believe her luck!
-7-
Firefighter Walt with his sidekicks Bert and Ernie. Such a cutie pie!
Want to join the fun?
![Babymoon Recap]()
by Catherine | Jun 21, 2013 | Marriage
Philip and I got to enjoy a four-day weekend babymoon in Kansas City a few weeks ago. It was so awesome! Since I was 30-weeks pregnant, most of the trip revolved around food. Oh, the food! The food was AHHHHH-MAAAAAAA-ZING!
Here’s a photo recap of our trip:
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| View from our hotel room at the Intercontinental overlooking the Plaza |
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| Our room! We stayed on the 8th floor overlooking the Plaza and hotel pool. We had a great view of all of the action going on in Kansas City. |
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| One of my favorite parts of our stay was lounging poolside at the hotel. |
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| Is that Don Draper lounging next to me at the hotel pool? Check out those washboard abs! 😉 |
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| Virgin piña colada? Don’t mind if I do! |
Now, let’s talk about the food…
Restaurant One: La Bodega (Awesome Spanish tapas! I felt like I was transported back in time to my semester abroad in Salamanca, Spain.)
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| Asparagus & creamy horseradish sauce |
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| How cute is this place?! We got to eat on the patio, and they gave us a complimentary champagne toast for our anniversary. |
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| Oh, how I love thee, paella! |
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| Champiñones in a de-lish garlic sauce |
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| I’m drooling just looking at this one. Prosciutto-wrapped figs stuffed with chorizo. They were as amazing as they sound. |
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| Grilled beef tenderloin with garlic crudités |
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| Post-tapas food coma |
Restaurant Two: Arthur Bryant’s (Fantastic KC-style BBQ joint.)
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| I loved everything about this eating experience–beginning to end. The lunch crowd’s line went well out the door, and the men outnumbered the women 10-1. Most of the patrons got their orders to go in sauce-soaked brown paper wrapped packages, but we decided to be fancy and dine in. |
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| Dominating my sliced pork sandwich that was as big as my head. The sweet & spicy Arthur Bryant’s BBQ is where it’s at! |
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| Philip equally enjoyed his beef sandwich. |
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Restaurant Three: Cheesecake Factory (We had to stop on one of our beautiful evening strolls for a little dessert!)
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| Selfie in front of the Cheesecake Factory fountain |
Restaurant Four: Bristol’s (Some of the best seafood I’ve ever had.)
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| Salmon flatbread appetizer |
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| Isn’t he so cute? |
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| Lobster mac ‘n cheese? How can this NOT be awesome? |
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| The heart confetti they placed on our patio table for our anniversary stuck to the bottom of Philip’s water glass |
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| Mixed grilled seafood. |
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| Molten lava cake and hazelnut ice cream–all homemade and decadently delicious |
We decided to recreate one of our favorite wedding day photos that night:
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| Original pic of our champagne toast on our wedding night |
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| The recreated version on our 5-year anniversary (and babymoon). This time, we toasted with wine (Philip) and a virgin piña colada (Me) |
Restaurant Five: Gram & Dun on the Plaza (Great brunch spot on Sunday before we hit the road home)
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| All I know is there was French toast, bacon, eggs, orange juice…I wanted to cry when the meal was over because it meant our babymoon was coming to a close, too! |
Entertainment/Sites:
World War I Museum. I had no idea this place even existed! It turns out your tickets are good for two days, so we split up our visit over two days so that we could take it all in. What an amazing place! I learned so, so, so much about World War I, and we enjoyed exploring all of the items on display.
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| Quote from an American soldier coming home from WWI. I had never considered that they were coming home during Prohibition. Bummer! |
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| How beautiful are these?! These are envelopes addressed to Pvt. Walter L. Myers throughout his time serving in WWI. Walter’s father worked as an artist on vaudeville productions and sent him all of these amazing hand-drawn and hand-painted images on the envelopes he sent his son around the world. |
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| Here’s another great envelope from Walter’s father on the occasion of the 4th of July, 1918. |
Power & Lights District (Fun nighttime destination for live music and bars.)
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| A really talented Journey cover band was playing in their open-air venue. Philip and I lived it up and enjoyed dancing to some of our favorite Journey tunes. I got a few funny looks for being the wild pregnant woman dancing by the stage! |
Philip’s mom (the kids call her “Mimi”) did such a great job watching the kiddos. I can’t sing her praises enough. I mean, the woman even potty-trained Jane while we were away! It was a great getaway, but we were so excited to see “the babies” when we got home.
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| Me, Mimi, and the kiddos |
![7 Quick Takes Friday (Volume 3)]()
by Catherine | Jun 15, 2013 | Family, Marriage
7 Quick Takes from this week:
Have you ever heard of a babymoon? It’s a fantastic idea that some brilliant pregnant woman made up to reward herself for the 9-month journey. It’s a little getaway to reconnect with your hubby and spoil yourselves before Baby arrives. Most couples opt to take their babymoons in the second trimester because the morning sickness is gone, and they aren’t too big and uncomfortable for travel.
Philip and I went on our babymoon to Kansas City last weekend, and it was faaaaaaaaaaaaaabulous! Philip’s amazing mom came and stayed with the kiddos, and everything went off without a hitch. I cannot sing my mother-in-law’s praises enough. She is simply the best! I’ll write a longer post about our babymoon another time.
In addition to watching the kiddos while we were away on our babymoon, Philip’s mom potty trained Jane!!! Hooray! It turns out Jane just needed to hear from someone other than her parents how this potty business works, and “Mimi” (that’s what the kids call Philip’s mom) was just the person Jane needed. Also, it didn’t hurt that Mimi did a special song and dance and gave Jane a “potty present” (little items wrapped up in tissue paper from the Target dollar section) every time she successfully went on the potty.
One of my favorite things about Philip is that he loves coming up with fun, creative ways to encourage good behavior from the kids. (I suppose that’s one of the perks of being married to a pediatric resident, huh?)
By the time we got back from our babymoon, Jane had a few days of potty training under her belt. We decided to continue the potty presents for every successful trip for another day before changing up the system. Philip created a new and improved sticker chart to facilitate the process. Here it is:
Every time Jane successfully uses the potty, she puts a sticker on an empty square of her sticker map. When she reaches a colored square, she gets to draw a wrapped item out of the potty present bag. The picture at the end of the map is a Hello Kitty lunchbox that Jane’s had her eye on for awhile. When she completes her sticker map, she gets the lunchbox. This way, Jane continues to get rewards for her potty training, but she doesn’t expect a present every time. Great system, Philip! I am pleased to report that Miss Jane completed her sticker map tonight, and we’re hoping to pick up her Hello Kitty lunchbox sometime tomorrow.
Oh! I forgot to tell you! Remember how I was worried about failing the gestational diabetes test and that Baby was measuring 3 weeks ahead at that appointment? Well, good news! I passed, Baby was measuring right on track at my last appointment, and my weight hadn’t budged at all. So, I’m going to chalk it all up to those weeks being a big growth spurt. Phew!
Ever since we had a big hailstorm about two months ago, Jane has been struggling to go to sleep at nighttime. She started insisting on sleeping with “quiet music” and her lights on. She wasn’t falling asleep for a few hours with the lights on, so we decided something had to change, and we decided to find a new nightlight/noise machine for her.
Since we already had the sticker map system going for potty training, we thought we’d make the nightlight/noise machine a reward in place of a potty pr
esent for one of the colored squares.
I love everything about it, and it’s working like a charm! It didn’t hurt that it was well within our budget, and Jane was excited about it since she thought it was a reward that she earned for doing so well with her potty training. Win-win!
Now that I said that the nightlight/noise machine is working like a charm, a severe weather system with thunder and golfball-sized hail is moving our direction. Hopefully Jane (and our new roof) make it through ok!
We celebrated our 5-year wedding anniversary on May 31. We decided we’d try to recreate one of our favorite photos from our wedding day while on our babymoon. We had a daytime wedding and luncheon reception, and we had the whole evening to ourselves. Our photographer tagged along as we took a limo ride downtown and had dinner in our tux and white dress at a fancy restaraunt. He took this great shot of us making a champagne toast on our wedding night:
Here’s our recreated photo from a fun restaurant on our babymoon. Our server took it on Philip’s phone. Instead of champagne, Philip has some wine, and I was sipping on a virgin piña colada. Cheers!
Want to join the fun?
![Pampering a New Mom]()
by Catherine | Jun 6, 2013 | Everything Else
My good friend, Nicole, is going to deliver her third baby (and our godson!) any day. Since she already has all of her baby gear, I thought I’d make her present all about her and her hospital stay. I decided to put together a hospital “survival kit” to pamper her, her husband, and all of the sweet nurses that will care for her during her stay.
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| Nicole’s Labor/Delivery/Postpartum Survival Kit in all of its glory |
Here are a few pictures of the contents:
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| Non-smelly lotion, room air freshener, hand soap, mints, hand wipes, gum, tissues, chapstick |
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| Granola bars, dark chocolates, hair bands, hair ties, notepad, baby “thank you” stationery |
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| Scented foaming hand soap for visitors to use before holding the new baby. “Please scrub before snuggles! Thank you!” |
In addition to the contents for Nicole, I included a fun surprise for the nurses. I wish I could take credit for this brilliant idea, but like most creative ideas, I found this one on Pinterest! The general idea is you fill a container with goodies, label it “Nurse Bait” with a cute little poem, and use it to lure the nurses in to take extra good care of the patient. I decided to use a pail and shovel for the “Nurse Bait” container. I found the poem here, printed it off on cardstock, and laminated it before attaching it to the pail.
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| “Nurse Bait” |
NURSE BAIT
When one’s in the hospital and feeling sick,
The very best thing is to get well quick.
The nurses are wonderful and take good care.
They can’t stay long. It’s just not fair!
To lure them in to check on you
Even more often than they usually do,
This bucket of NURSE BAIT should do the trick,
To get them to see you often and quick!
So, with extra visits and extra care
Hopefully you’ll soon be outta here!
Cute, huh?!
Here’s what the note attached to the crate says:
Friend’s Name’s
Labor/Delivery/Postpartum
Survival Kit
Pamper yourself during your hospital stay with the following items:
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“Nurse Bait” (Bucket full of goodies to keep the nurses coming back to take extra good care of you!)
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Soothing lavender room spray for when things need freshening
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Burt’s Bees lotion – a non-flowery smell so that you can pamper yourself without overwhelming Baby’s Name’s nose!
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Honeysuckle-scented foaming hand soap for visitors to use before holding Baby’s Name. “Please scrub before snuggles!” It smells better than the hospital stuff, too!
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Tissues for the gamut of emotions
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Wet Ones – because you never know when you can use more hand wipes
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Kashi Cherry Dark Chocolate granola bars
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Dove Dark Chocolates
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Tic Tacs
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Extra Spearmint Gum
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Non-slide headbands and hair ties to keep your hair out of your face during labor & delivery
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Chap Stick
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Cute notepad for scribbling down notes, recording gifts, etc.
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Baby-themed “thank you” stationery
- Pink crate to help haul it (and other gifts you receive) all away
Originally, I was going to put it all into a cute basket, but I decided the crate was the way to go. With a crate, your friend can use it to haul away whatever loot they get in the hospital (gifts, diapers, formula samples, etc.) and reuse it in the future. I don’t know about you, but I forgot to bring containers to carry everything home our first time in the hospital with a baby, so I thought this might be helpful.
Please, please, please feel free to copy and paste anything I typed up here and steal any of it to pamper your friend in the hospital. Having a baby is tough work, and us mamas need to make sure we’re all being pampered through the process!
![7 Quick Takes Friday (Volume 2)]()
by Catherine | May 24, 2013 | Everything Else, Faith, Family, Marriage, The Homefront
7 Quick Takes from this week:
– 1 –
I started facilitating “The Bible Timeline“ study by Jeff Cavins and Tim Gray this month. Holy Toledo! I am learning so much, and we’re not even halfway into Genesis. Not only do I feel like I’m growing in my head knowledge of Sacred Scripture, but the structured study is instilling the desire to read Sacred Scripture as my own personal love letter from God. I love, love, love it!
– 2 –
As fantastic as “The Bible Timeline” study is by itself, I’m learning so much more by doing the study with Jeff Cavins’ book “Walking With God: A Journey Through the Bible” at my side. Basically, the book breaks down the story of salvation history into 12 periods (the same 12 periods explored in the Bible Timeline), and draws you into the story.
For example, have you ever read the story about Noah getting drunk and passing out naked in his tent? Then, remember how his son Ham shows up and “uncovers his nakedness”? Yeah, I know. I thought it was strange, too. Well, that whole story would have thrown me for a loop had I not had Jeff Cavins’ book nearby. I wouldn’t have known to explore the passages in Leviticus that explain that this Hebrew idiom (“uncover your father’s nakedness”) actually means to have an incestuous relationship.
Having this book as my reading companion (as well as the Catechism of the Catholic Church) is helping me to confidently read Sacred Scripture within the heart of the Church.
– 3 –
My hair dryer of 3 years broke, and I got a brand new one. It’s nothing fancy, but I had no idea how terrible my old one was until I got this new one. Am I the only one that was just introduced to the hair dryer retractable cord?! Wow! That feature is amazing! I just push a button on the hair dryer and *zoom* the cord is gone. Even though I carefully kept my old hair dryer cord untangled, it managed to twist itself so tightly that it ended up being more like one of those old school spiral telephone cords. With each use, it would wind itself up more and more, and I’d end up untwisting it at least once a month.
Not only am I loving the retractable cord, but new dryer cuts my hairdrying time in half, and my hair seems less frizzy. When your getting ready time is limited with little kiddos, this is a big deal! Have I dedicated an entire paragraph to my new hair dryer? Yes, yes I have.
– 4 –
We found a steal of a deal on Craigslist for Jane’s new big girl bed. We picked it up the other day, and Jane was so excited that she asked all morning, “Is it naptime yet?!”
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| Pretending to sleep in her big girl bed after we got it set up. |
Jane and Walt are going to share a room, and Baby will move into the nursery when he/she arrives in August. (Jane will sleep in her new big girl bed, Walt will sleep in Jane’s old toddler bed, and Baby will sleep in Walt’s crib.)
The day we got the bed, the kids slept in their own rooms at naptime, but they insisted that Walt get to sleep in Jane’s room that night in the toddler bed. Long story short, it didn’t go so hot, and we haven’t attempted putting them together since. We’ll wait a few more weeks until we attempt it again.
– 5 –
Speaking of attempting things again, Jane finally warmed back up to the idea of potty training. For awhile, she was absolutely terrified of the potty. I think a lot of it had to do with constipation. Thanks to a steady regimen of Miralax, I think we, uh, got that problem all worked out. Unfortunately, she just doesn’t care if she’s wet. In fact, I think she’d stay in the same pull-up all day long if I’d let her. Blech!
She told me before naptime this afternoon that she wants to wear her big girl underwear, so I told her we had to go on the potty to wear them, and she said, “OK!” with a big smile. Here goes nothing!!!
I never thought I’d be potty training a three-year-old, but here we are, and I’m not letting myself worry about it. We’ll get it figured out. As one mom told me, “You know, they never ask you when your child was potty trained on college applications.”
– 6 –
I officially start my third trimester of pregnancy tomorrow. Yay! At yesterday’s OB appointment, I did my blood glucose test for gestational diabetes, and I’m still waiting on the results. I’ve never had it before, but I’m a little nervous about the results this time around for two reasons: 1. I was up 5 lbs. from my last appointment, and 2. I was measuring 31 weeks instead of 28 weeks (and technically, I was still 27 weeks at my appointment). Both of those things don’t bode well. Until I get the results, I’m trying not to obsess over it. If I do have gestational diabetes, I know I should be able to manage it with diet. I guess I’m just nervous that I’ll have a baby that will be so big that I won’t be able to deliver vaginally, and I’d like to avoid a c-section if possible. Hopefully I’ll get the results before the weekend…
– 7 –
Can I break out the violin and play a sad song for my poor body?
The old mare is exhausted. After all, I got pregnant with Thérèse August 2012, miscarried November 2012, got pregnant two weeks later (yay!), and this baby is due August 17, 2013. So, by the time Baby arrives, I will have been pregnant for a year with a two-week “break” from my miscarriage. Don’t get me wrong! I am so, so, so thrilled to be pregnant, and I can’t wait to meet Baby, but my body doesn’t seem to be up to the job these days.
First, I had the back-to-back first trimesters with the two pregnancies. With both, I battled some rough “morning” sickness. The second trimester was pretty uneventful, but the sciatica keeps getting worse, so my OB wrote me a prescription for a maternity belt. If the belt combined with the physical therapy exercises I learned last pregnancy don’t help, I’ll probably start physical therapy up again. Spending any amount of time on my feet makes my legs throb, so it might be time for some sexy compression stockings. More and more varicose veins seem to be appearing on my legs. Youch! Having to sleep on my side doesn’t help matters. Whatever side I’m sleeping on goes numb after awhile, so I wake up to roll over, and I end up having to make a bathroom run. I’m averaging 3-5 bathroom trips a night. I just keep telling myself it’s all practice for the nighttime feedings, right???
Wah, wah, waaaaaaah!
All things considered, this pregnancy has been pretty darn good, and I’m counting my blessings that Baby seems to be doing great in there. I’ll gladly take the physical stuff on my end in exchange for a healthy baby. I just know my limits, and I know that sleep deprivation is the fastest way for me to become a meeeeeeeeeeeeeeean mama. Perhaps a little nighttime Benadryl is in order…
Have a great Memorial Day weekend!
Want to join the fun?
Head on over to Jen Fulwiler’s blog at Conversion Diary and post your own 7 Quick Takes!
![Dear Thérèse, A Letter On Your Due Date]()
by Catherine | May 20, 2013 | Faith, Family
Dear Thérèse,
After we lost you in November, I thought I was going to dread today–5/20/13, your due date. Somehow, though, today has actually been a pretty great day. Actually, our little family has been stronger than ever these last few months, and I’m confident that you are the reason for our happiness. I know this seems like a strange thing to be doing, but I wanted to write you a thank you note on the occasion of your due date.
Since leaving our family on earth, you have been our family’s favorite saint and intercessor in heaven. I love that your big brother, Walt, and big sister, Jane, will never know a life without including you, “Baby Thérèse in heaven,” in our bedtime prayers.
Now that my tummy is at the hand magnet phase of pregnancy, I’m getting lots of questions on a daily basis about our family. I am getting braver at answering honestly when people ask how many children we have–even strangers at the grocery store. I always say, “We have two babies on earth, a baby in heaven, and this baby (pointing to my belly) is due to arrive in August.”
Even though I never got to hold you in my arms as our precious baby, you are bringing our family so many blessings on a daily basis. I thought I’d write you a little list of all of the blessings you bring us (at least all of the ones I can think of right now):
- God is finally my primary relationship, Dad is second, your siblings are next, and so on. Keeping that order straight is keeping everyone at their best.
- I find myself offering more prayers of thanksgiving than ever before, especially as I go throughout the day.
- I play with your siblings more than ever. With the housework, I am able to call things “good enough” and mean it when Jane or Walt remind me why I’m home in the first place.
- After asking some girlfriends to pray for my patience with this parenting phase, I find that I’m appreciating the little moments and extending bedtime story time so that I can soak up the cuddles.
- As I know you know, I still have my not-so-grace-filled moments, but knowing that I can ask for your prayers brings me peace.
- I am getting better and better at putting our family first, knowing my limits, saying “no” to extra commitments, asking for help when I need it, and finding time for fun.
- I’m getting better at hearing God’s voice and being brave. I still can’t believe I started leading a Bible study this month! I am grateful for the opportunity to do it because the study probably wouldn’t have started had I been 9 months pregnant with you.
- Perhaps one of the biggest differences I’m noticing is my new outlook on pregnancy and motherhood in general. I don’t take the kicks that I never felt with you for granted. I’m actually excited about trying breastfeeding (again!) as an opportunity and a gift rather than another stressor. (I’ll keep praying that it actually works out this time around, and I’ll remember to pray for wisdom if it doesn’t.) I say it all the time, but I simply cannot wait to meet this miracle baby face-to-face that never would have been a part of our family had you remained with our family on earth! God must have some exciting plans for this precious little sibling of yours, huh?
Your dad is so sweet. I found this on the kitchen counter when I woke up this morning:
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| “Catherine on 5/20” |
Before today, Dad and I talked a lot about what your due date would be like emotionally. Dad said he wrote me this card a few days ago so that I would know that he was praying for our family and that he hadn’t forgotten about today being your due date. Of course, the card made me cry, but they weren’t tears of sadness. I guess I cried because I know our family wouldn’t be nearly as happy or strong had we not gone through the pain of losing you. Today, on your due date, I’d love to be swaddling you, breathing in that new baby smell, and kissing your little fingers. Somehow, I know today more than ever that God knew what He was doing when He took you and that He continues to have our family’s best interest at heart.
So, Thérèse, thank you for being our family’s precious “Little Flower.” We’ve been on quite the journey this last year! We’ve had some of our lowest lows and highest highs, and we are the family we are today because of all of it. Thank you for helping us to keep the long view in mind, especially when we struggle with shortsightedness on the bad days. Thank you for continuing to hear our prayers, interceding as our prayer warrior, and helping us to live out our roles within our domestic church on a daily basis. We promise we will try our hardest to make you proud. Dad and I know now that our ultimate goal in marriage is to get our entire family to heaven. Having you already there is more motivation than we could ever ask for! Thank you for everything you’ve already done and will do for our family.
We love you, Baby Thérèse in heaven!
All my love,
Mom
![7 Quick Takes Friday (Volume 1)]()
by Catherine | May 17, 2013 | Family
Here’s my first attempt at “7 Quick Takes Friday,” a quick, straight-to-the-point list of 7 things going on in our world right now. I got the idea from one of my favorite bloggers, Jen Fulwiler, over at Conversion Diary. Click here if you’d like to join the fun!
Here’s what’s going on in our world this week:
1. Jane will start going to preschool in August. I’m afraid she is going to be disappointed that she only gets to go two days a week. She’ll probably try to dart out of the car without looking back on her first day of school. We got her uniform the other day, and she had a ball giving us a little fashion show in the dressing room area.
2. Due to an unseasonably cold spring, our lilac bush was delayed in blooming this year. I took this picture of one of the blooms this afternoon. The local meteorologists are predicting some severe weather this weekend (large hail, isolated tornadoes, etc.), so I’m afraid our blooms will be very short-lived this year. Even though they haven’t all completely opened up, I think I’ll snip a few off tomorrow before the hail comes. I’d hate to see them all get torn to smithereens!
3. A few months ago, Walmart opened a “Neighborhood Market” up the street. You can’t beat a 3-minute trip to your grocery store! Unfortunately, the store doesn’t have a full-service bakery with complimentary cookies for the kiddos like the huge Walmart we used to go to. I learned this the hard way the first time we went to the store after I had already promised the kids their usual cookie from the bakery if they were patient and good listeners. I ended up buying a box of Oreo cookies (Double Stuf, of course) and letting them each have one in the checkout. Ever since that first trip, I’ve been bringing a little baggie with an Oreo for each kiddo to eat as we pay for our groceries.
This week, Jane spied an Oreo fragment on Walt’s short leg that he had dropped. She snagged it when he was distracted and stuffed it into her mouth as quickly as she could. Of course, this was a problem for Mr. Walt, aka our Cookie Monster. Here’s a picture of the hysteria.
4. I’m afraid Jane and Walt love their sleep as much as their mama. Unfortunately, Jane also inherited her mama’s struggle to come back to earth after naptime. Walt is Mr. Happy Go Lucky from the moment he opens his eyes, but Jane requires some special “quiet time” on the couch before we dare suggest an activity or engage her in real conversation. Here she is post-nap with crazy bed head, munching on some Berry Berry Kix, easing back into the world.
5. One of the cutest things about Walt is that his little cheeks get soooooooooo rosy after any kind of physical activity. We spent 15 minutes at the neighborhood park this afternoon, and here’s what Walt’s face looked like five minutes after being inside the air conditioning. He had to hold his buddy Gordon for the photo op.
6. Jane has always enjoyed coloring, but she blew me away the other day when she called me over to look at this picture:
She had drawn three people with heads, facial features, and some limbs!!! She said, “That’s Grandma Sally, and you, and me!” All of a sudden, my little girl is really drawing instead of scribbling!
Here’s another face she drew this morning:
7. Philip took the kids to Costco after dinner last night while I went to my Bible study. Costco had a bunch of cute (and cheap!) Carter’s summer jammie sets, so Philip had the kids pick out a few. They insisted on wearing them to bed last night, and Philip snapped these cute pics of the kids running laps around the couch in their cute jammies. Look at how excited they were!
Off to make dinner! I’ll be praying that the severe weather doesn’t put a damper on our birthday celebration for Walt on Sunday!
![A New and Improved “COEXIST” Bumper Sticker]()
by Catherine | May 14, 2013 | Faith
I think we’ve all seen the other blue “COEXIST” bumper sticker. You know, the one that borrows symbols from various world religions and uses them to spell out the word “COEXIST”?
I’ve always disliked that bumper sticker because, well, I think it sends the message that: 1. it’s enough just to tolerate living next to other people of different beliefs, and 2. that moral relativism is the way to go — we’re all on different paths to the same goal, so just back off if you don’t agree with me.
Thanks to Simcha Fisher, I learned that there’s a new and improved “COEXIST” bumper sticker. 17-year-old Isabel Pope from Ann Arbor, Michigan created it last summer, and here it is:
 |
| “COEXIST” Bumper Sticker Image from Isalife Pro’s Facebook Page |
From the “Isalife Pro” Facebook Page:
Last summer, at age 17, Isabel had the idea for COEXIST bumper sticker when, stuck in sweaty, going-no-where Ann Arbor traffic, surrounded by a sea of “COEXIST” bumper stickers, she mentioned, “I don’t think they mean COEXIST. Planned Parenthood is right down the street. Not too many people seem to care that babies are NOT coexisting here.”
Out loud, Isabel imagined what a REAL co-exist bumper sticker would look like. Voila. Her imaginings are the design you see on this page.
The bumper sticker finally saw the light of day this past winter, just in time for Father Pavone’s Roe v Wade anniversary visit to Isabel’s parish, St Thomas in Ann Arbor. Father Pavone said of the sticker, “It really challenges the liberal to live up to their own beliefs.”
Now you know what they say: the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to NOT buy the bumper sticker….. so….. order one today!
1 sticker: $3.00
2 for $5
isalifeproductions@gmail.com
If you’d like to order your own new and improved “COEXIST” bumper sticker, contact Isalife Productions at isalifeproductions@gmail.com or via Facebook by searching “isalife pro.”
![A New and Improved "COEXIST" Bumper Sticker]()
by Catherine | May 14, 2013 | Faith
I think we’ve all seen the other blue “COEXIST” bumper sticker. You know, the one that borrows symbols from various world religions and uses them to spell out the word “COEXIST”?
I’ve always disliked that bumper sticker because, well, I think it sends the message that: 1. it’s enough just to tolerate living next to other people of different beliefs, and 2. that moral relativism is the way to go — we’re all on different paths to the same goal, so just back off if you don’t agree with me.
Thanks to Simcha Fisher, I learned that there’s a new and improved “COEXIST” bumper sticker. 17-year-old Isabel Pope from Ann Arbor, Michigan created it last summer, and here it is:
|
| “COEXIST” Bumper Sticker Image from Isalife Pro’s Facebook Page |
From the “Isalife Pro” Facebook Page:
Last summer, at age 17, Isabel had the idea for COEXIST bumper sticker when, stuck in sweaty, going-no-where Ann Arbor traffic, surrounded by a sea of “COEXIST” bumper stickers, she mentioned, “I don’t think they mean COEXIST. Planned Parenthood is right down the street. Not too many people seem to care that babies are NOT coexisting here.”
Out loud, Isabel imagined what a REAL co-exist bumper sticker would look like. Voila. Her imaginings are the design you see on this page.
The bumper sticker finally saw the light of day this past winter, just in time for Father Pavone’s Roe v Wade anniversary visit to Isabel’s parish, St Thomas in Ann Arbor. Father Pavone said of the sticker, “It really challenges the liberal to live up to their own beliefs.”
Now you know what they say: the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to NOT buy the bumper sticker….. so….. order one today!
1 sticker: $3.00
2 for $5
isalifeproductions@gmail.com
If you’d like to order your own new and improved “COEXIST” bumper sticker, contact Isalife Productions at isalifeproductions@gmail.com or via Facebook by searching “isalife pro.”
![From “should have been” to “exactly as it should be”]()
by Catherine | May 9, 2013 | Faith, Family
When we found out we were pregnant in August and due May 20, 2013, I started daydreaming about what May 2013 would look like. Mother’s Day would be a week before my due date, and our son, Walt, would turn 2 the day before my due date. May 2013 would be a month full of celebrations and excitement!
Daydreaming about Baby came to an abrupt end when that pregnancy ended in miscarriage in November. I was twelve weeks along when I started to miscarry, and I ended up having to have an emergency D&C from severe blood loss. We named the baby Thérèse (after St. Thérèse of Lisieux) since we thought she was a girl and thought of her as our own “Little Flower.”
Just as we were beginning to process our emotions, the grieving process was truncated when we found out a month to the day after we lost Thérèse that we were pregnant again. Of course, we were thrilled, but I lived in constant fear that we would lose that baby as well. A few episodes of bleeding and an incident around 11 weeks when my OBGYN couldn’t find Baby’s heartbeat on the doppler didn’t help matters! A few months later, I’m 25 weeks pregnant, and Baby is due August 17–just three months after Thérèse’s due date.
The pain of losing Thérèse is still very real, but it doesn’t take my breath away or reduce me to tears like it used to. During that in between month before we knew the kind of roller coaster ride God had in store for us, I experienced what I’m sure a lot of mothers who have suffered a miscarriage experience. I would be going about my day, trying to lose myself in the ordinariness of laundry, dishes, and changing diapers, and I’d get caught off guard–I’d receive a formula coupon in the mail, an e-mail saying how large my baby was compared to a vegetable, or a bill from the hospital from my emergency D&C. It was tempting to think about how things “should have been.”
I used to dread Thérèse’s due date and thought it would be one of those “I don’t know if I can get out of bed” days. Other moms that are due around Thérèse’s due date are having their babies. Instead of preparing to go into labor with Thérèse at any moment this Mother’s Day weekend, we arranged for her burial in November. We added “Baby Thérèse in heaven” to our family bedtime prayers, and I’m nearing the end of my second trimester with “New Baby.”
This “New Baby” in no way replaces Thérèse, but I’d be lying if I said getting pregnant so soon after losing Thérèse didn’t help with the healing process. I tell our family and friends that having our faith throughout this last year sometimes “feels like cheating.” Without our faith, I don’t know how we would explain the kind of pain we experienced. Instead of falling into despair and constantly thinking about how things should have been, we are confident that things are exactly as they should be. After all, if we believe what we say we believe as Christians, Omniscience knows what He’s doing, right?
Philip and I are confident that God wouldn’t take our precious baby Thérèse from us unless a greater good would come of it. Countless unexpected blessings have already come to fruition that never would have been possible had things gone how they “should have.”
Jeremiah 29:11-14 took on a whole new meaning in light of what we experienced with losing Thérèse.
“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me; when you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.”
God knows well the plans He has for us, and I now know that they are plans for my welfare and not for woe. Sure, it hurt like heck when we found out in that ultrasound room that Thérèse had died, and I’ll never forget the emotional trauma of having to miscarry and have an emergency D&C, but I know God allowed it to happen so that I could become an even better wife and mother and bring other countless blessings to our family through it.
Now, we are doubly blessed. We get to have our precious baby Thérèse as our family saint interceding for us from heaven, and, God willing, we will get to meet “New Baby” in August. Obviously, I was excited to meet each of our babies with each pregnancy, but anticipating seeing “New Baby” face to face has a whole new level of drama. I simply cannot wait to look into the eyes of the baby that never would have been had things gone how they “should have” with Thérèse. Now that I know the pain of losing a child, I anticipate the opportunity to try my darnedest to love a baby the best I possibly can from his or her very first breath.
So, I’m not dreading Thérèse’s due date anymore, and I’m excited to celebrate Mother’s Day with our family exactly as it is. I’m sure Thérèse’s due date will be bittersweet when I think about wanting to hold her in my arms. By God’s grace, any sadness I feel will be softened when “New Baby” kicks and I remember that things are exactly as they should be–because He made it so.
 |
| From left to right: 23 weeks with Jane, 27 weeks with Walt, and 25 weeks with “New Baby” |
![From "should have been" to "exactly as it should be"]()
by Catherine | May 9, 2013 | Faith, Family
When we found out we were pregnant in August and due May 20, 2013, I started daydreaming about what May 2013 would look like. Mother’s Day would be a week before my due date, and our son, Walt, would turn 2 the day before my due date. May 2013 would be a month full of celebrations and excitement!
Daydreaming about Baby came to an abrupt end when that pregnancy ended in miscarriage in November. I was twelve weeks along when I started to miscarry, and I ended up having to have an emergency D&C from severe blood loss. We named the baby Thérèse (after St. Thérèse of Lisieux) since we thought she was a girl and thought of her as our own “Little Flower.”
Just as we were beginning to process our emotions, the grieving process was truncated when we found out a month to the day after we lost Thérèse that we were pregnant again. Of course, we were thrilled, but I lived in constant fear that we would lose that baby as well. A few episodes of bleeding and an incident around 11 weeks when my OBGYN couldn’t find Baby’s heartbeat on the doppler didn’t help matters! A few months later, I’m 25 weeks pregnant, and Baby is due August 17–just three months after Thérèse’s due date.
The pain of losing Thérèse is still very real, but it doesn’t take my breath away or reduce me to tears like it used to. During that in between month before we knew the kind of roller coaster ride God had in store for us, I experienced what I’m sure a lot of mothers who have suffered a miscarriage experience. I would be going about my day, trying to lose myself in the ordinariness of laundry, dishes, and changing diapers, and I’d get caught off guard–I’d receive a formula coupon in the mail, an e-mail saying how large my baby was compared to a vegetable, or a bill from the hospital from my emergency D&C. It was tempting to think about how things “should have been.”
I used to dread Thérèse’s due date and thought it would be one of those “I don’t know if I can get out of bed” days. Other moms that are due around Thérèse’s due date are having their babies. Instead of preparing to go into labor with Thérèse at any moment this Mother’s Day weekend, we arranged for her burial in November. We added “Baby Thérèse in heaven” to our family bedtime prayers, and I’m nearing the end of my second trimester with “New Baby.”
This “New Baby” in no way replaces Thérèse, but I’d be lying if I said getting pregnant so soon after losing Thérèse didn’t help with the healing process. I tell our family and friends that having our faith throughout this last year sometimes “feels like cheating.” Without our faith, I don’t know how we would explain the kind of pain we experienced. Instead of falling into despair and constantly thinking about how things should have been, we are confident that things are exactly as they should be. After all, if we believe what we say we believe as Christians, Omniscience knows what He’s doing, right?
Philip and I are confident that God wouldn’t take our precious baby Thérèse from us unless a greater good would come of it. Countless unexpected blessings have already come to fruition that never would have been possible had things gone how they “should have.”
Jeremiah 29:11-14 took on a whole new meaning in light of what we experienced with losing Thérèse.
“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me; when you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.”
God knows well the plans He has for us, and I now know that they are plans for my welfare and not for woe. Sure, it hurt like heck when we found out in that ultrasound room that Thérèse had died, and I’ll never forget the emotional trauma of having to miscarry and have an emergency D&C, but I know God allowed it to happen so that I could become an even better wife and mother and bring other countless blessings to our family through it.
Now, we are doubly blessed. We get to have our precious baby Thérèse as our family saint interceding for us from heaven, and, God willing, we will get to meet “New Baby” in August. Obviously, I was excited to meet each of our babies with each pregnancy, but anticipating seeing “New Baby” face to face has a whole new level of drama. I simply cannot wait to look into the eyes of the baby that never would have been had things gone how they “should have” with Thérèse. Now that I know the pain of losing a child, I anticipate the opportunity to try my darnedest to love a baby the best I possibly can from his or her very first breath.
So, I’m not dreading Thérèse’s due date anymore, and I’m excited to celebrate Mother’s Day with our family exactly as it is. I’m sure Thérèse’s due date will be bittersweet when I think about wanting to hold her in my arms. By God’s grace, any sadness I feel will be softened when “New Baby” kicks and I remember that things are exactly as they should be–because He made it so.
|
| From left to right: 23 weeks with Jane, 27 weeks with Walt, and 25 weeks with “New Baby” |
![Not-So-Grace-Filled Moments]()
by Catherine | Apr 29, 2013 | Family
“Terrible twos”? Puh-leeeeeeeeeeeeeease!
In my book, the “terrible twos” have absolutely nothing on the neck-throttling threes.
No, no, no, put down the phone! You don’t need to call CPS! But, seriously, this mama needs a safe space to talk about what’s been going down around here with one particular three-year-old.
The last few months with our three-year-old, Jane, have been a wild roller coaster. Within the same day (or hour), we reach the highest highs and the lowest lows. One moment, I feel like my heart is going to burst with love, and I can’t catch my breath because I’m overwhelmed with love for my little sweetheart. There are so many wonderful things that I love about this stage: Jane is delightfully affectionate, and her “love language” is most definitely physical touch. She fills my tank with her sweet squeezes and kisses throughout the day. Her imagination and sense of humor helps me to take myself less seriously and look at life through her innocent eyes. Her excitement to learn about Christ and His Church, and her attempts to live her faith well encourage me to be a better person on a daily basis.
Then, there are the not-so-grace-filled moments–for her, but mostly for me. I started saying a little prayer before my feet hit the floor everyday. (I know, I know, I should be getting up before the kids and starting my day in prayer, but I’m just not there yet. I’m working on it.) Usually, my prayer before my feet hit the floor goes something like, “God, please help me to be the wife and mother you want me to be today. Blessed Mother, please give me a sprinkling of your perfect patience and tender love for my children and all those that we meet. Amen.”
The day gets started, and I put forth my best effort from the get-go. I’m like this lady with the chocolate cake.
I’m lovey dovey, I do all of the little things that only moms know about that make the kids’ day start out right. We sing songs as we get dressed, I make their breakfast just how they like it, and then, it begins–all of those things that make me refer to these times as the “neck-throttling threes.”
What gets my blood boiling? What could my sweet, little, perfect Jane be doing that makes me want to put myself in a time-out? Well, let’s see…among the usual suspects these days are: purposeful dawdling, selective hearing, blatant disobeying, hitting Walt, emotional manipulation, and the whhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiining. Oh, the whining! It’s mostly the whining!
I pull out all of the tricks in my mom tool belt to keep those blood boiling moments at bay: we plan lots of outings/play dates, maintain our routine whenever possible, eat well-balanced meals, build in individual playtime and cuddle time, shine a light on their good behavior, etc., etc. Nonetheless, I’m reaching my breaking point faster and more frequently these days, especially with Jane.
I’m convinced it all boils down to one thing: Jane shows moments of self-control, patience, and making good choices. In those moments, I know that she can know better, and sometimes she even chooses to do the right thing. She’ll put her arm up to smack Walt when he hits her, and she’ll stop. She’ll offer Walt the last bite of her Oreo. She’ll do something I told her not to and say a sincere “I’m sorry” before I have a chance to process what happened. She’s learning. She gets it–sometimes. These moments make me fall into the trap of thinking that she is capable of making those good choices on a regular basis, and they make the moments when she makes the bad choices more frustrating.
Logically, I know she’s just doing her job as a three-year-old. As my pediatrician says, she is “developmentally appropriate.” Jane is doing all of the things a three-year-old is supposed to be doing: testing limits, asserting her independence, and questioning everything. Knowing this doesn’t make the day-to-day any less infuriating. At 3, Jane isn’t supposed to do everything I ask immediately, maintain perfect emotional equilibrium, or exhibit patience and understanding when things don’t go her way. Come to think of it, I don’t do all of those things on a regular basis…
Nonetheless, as a mama, I know I need to rise above the neck-throttling threes and get some strategies for the blood-boiling moments. I have a fiery temper that I’ve struggled with since childhood. When I’m at my wit’s end and we’re having one of those days (and it’s only 9 a.m.), I can go from 0 to 60 in seconds. After pulling out all of the stops and having my patience tested to no end, I feel invisible unless I’m yelling.
Yesterday morning, I was still bummed that Philip had to work unexpectedly, but I decided to make it a productive morning and go to the grocery store. Getting out the door with a 3- and a 2-year-old is a battle anyway, but the kids really battled getting out the door for a solid half an hour. They didn’t want to have anything to do with getting ready–brushing teeth, combing hair, putting on shoes, zipping jackets, getting buckled in the car seats, etc., etc. Oh, and the whhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiining! (Why does the whining get to me so much, anyway?) Anyway, by the time I had gotten them restrained and myself into the driver’s seat, I had had it. I turned around, looked at the kids, and yelled, “STOP! STOP!!! STOP!!!!!! No more whining! Mommy needs you to be good listeners and use nice voices.” (Yes, the irony isn’t lost on me that I was asking my toddlers to use nice voices as I was yelling at them…) Even as the words were coming out of my mouth, I heard the good angel on my shoulder saying, “Ohhhhhhhh, Catherine. You shouldn’t speak to your children like that.” Yet, I still did it. Then, I looked forward, said a little “I’m sorry for being such a jerk” prayer in my head, and turned back to the kids. “Mommy is sorry for yelling. Mommy shouldn’t yell at you. I love you very much. Can you please use nice voices and be good listeners?”
Jane responded in her sweetest voice possible, “Yes, Mommy.” Ugh, if yelling itself didn’t make me feel like a jerk, hearing her little voice and seeing her smile made it even worse. She has a way of doing that. Jane will throw me a one-two punch of the worst of the worst toddler behavior, I’ll want to yell like the crazy mom that I can be (and sometimes I do), then she’ll take my breath away with her sweetness.
I asked Philip for a little quiet time tonight a
fter dinner because I needed a break from the kids. Minutes later, the doorknob to our bedroom jangled and Jane walked in. I was a little bummed that my quiet time was being interrupted so quickly, but I mustered up my sweetest voice for her. “Hi, honey. What are you doing?” Then, she hit me with the sweetness. “I’m just loving you. Can I come and sit with you?” She ran and grabbed her little LeapFrog computer and sat in bed next to me while I wrote most of this post.
So, I’m a work in progress. I’m doing the best I can as a mom. I’m working on the yelling. I’m trying to be a good example for the kids. I’ll keep working on the waking up before the kids for prayer time. I’ll keep messing up, and I’ll keep asking the kids, Philip, and God for forgiveness on a daily basis. I’ll never stop trying.
God called me to this vocation because He knew it would be the most sanctifying for me. He knew I needed to prune a lot within myself. Philip and the kids uniquely help me to become a better person on a daily basis. The process isn’t always pretty, and some days what I see in the mirror is downright terrifying, but that’s what purgation is all about. Marriage is the vocation for me because it purifies exactly the areas that need it most. Here’s to tomorrow’s tests!
![Warning: Be Careful With Pity Parties. God Might Give You a Reality Check.]()
by Catherine | Apr 27, 2013 | Family
I was chatting with some gal pals at a MOPS meeting this morning about our weekend plans. I said I was excited because Philip had the entire weekend off and that we were going to enjoy a quiet weekend of family time.
On his way home from work, Philip got a text saying that he needed to come in on back-up to work at the hospital from 7 a.m. Saturday to 10 a.m. Sunday.
Goodbye, weekend plans!
Philip shared the news as gently as he could. He said we would make tonight extra special, rent a movie, and get some ice cream after the kids went to bed. He suggested we stop at a nearby park and that we pick up dinner so that I could have a night off from cooking.
Philip was doing a great job of cheering me up, but I couldn’t help whining for a bit. I decided throwing myself a little pity party on Facebook with a “woe is me” status update about our ruined weekend plans was a good option.
Cue the violins! Goodbye our quiet little weekend as a family. Philip just got called in on backup to work 7 am tomorrow to 10 am Sunday. Residency, I am officially over you!
Waaaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaaah!
We drove to a nearby park, and the kids had a ball. Our kiddos were the youngest ones there by a long shot, and Philip and I probably looked like helicopter parents. While the other parents sat on the nearby benches and chatted, I stood in “spotters ready” position behind Walt as he went up the steep ladder, and Philip kept an eye on daredevil Jane as she went from one obstacle to the next.
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| Janie & Walt on the slides |
Eventually, the other families left for dinner, and we were left with the playground to ourselves. Without Jane trying to imitate the big kids’ moves and with Walt exclusively using the toddler-friendly stairs to get to the slides, Philip and I decided to sit on one of the nearby benches while we watched the action.
Then, it happened–one of those terrible slow motion moments when you know what’s going to happen next, but you’re too far away to do anything to stop it. Walt had been sitting on the top platform of the jungle gym and turned himself around to go down the slide like he had 50 times. At the last second, while still scooting backwards, he changed directions. His little foot caught the edge of the platform perpendicular to the slide. Naturally, this was the side of the platform with an opening for a spiral pole like this:
Only, this particular drop-off was 6-feet high. One of us, I can’t remember who, was mid-sentence when Walt changed directions and he caught his foot on the edge of the platform. “Philip! Philip! Philip!” I said as I pointed and stood up. I knew I couldn’t stop what was going to happen, so I prayed as I watched it happen that it wouldn’t be too terrible.
Walt didn’t realize he was scooting himself off of the platform. He fell backward between the platform and spiral pole. By some miracle, he didn’t hit his head on the 6-foot descent, and the poor guy landed with a big “thud” on his back. Philip picked him up instantly. Walt was murmuring quietly and the color drained from his face. He straightened his back like he wanted out of Philip’s arms. Then, his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he went limp.
This, my friends, is when you’re glad your husband is a pediatric resident. Walt came to in a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity, especially because we weren’t sure if something more serious was wrong. After he came back to, he didn’t act hurt or concussed. After holding him for a bit, Philip suggested we let him try to play for a few minutes to observe his movements and check for signs of a concussion. Per usual, Philip remained calm and collected, and I was so glad he was there.
Children are so resilient! Within minutes, Walt was climbing, laughing, and wanting to go back down the slides. We remained helicopter parents for five more minutes before we decided Walt was ok, and Philip announced, “It’s time for dinner! Let’s get in the car!” We knew Walt was back to his regular old self when he said, “Hungry! Hungry! Hungry!” and made a beeline for the minivan.
Since he’s still rear-facing in his carseat and has a tendency to space out during car rides anyway, we kept asking him questions to check on him.
“Walt, who’s your favorite choo-choo?”
“PERCY!”
“Walt, are you hungry?”
“FRENCH FRIES!”
The little guy ate a great dinner, and he seems to be doing just fine, so hopefully the scary moment has passed.
While I’m still bummed that Philip has to unexpectedly work a 24-hour shift tomorrow, I’m grateful for the reality check that our trip to the playground provided me:
- We all have our health.
- Philip is employed, and we’ve found a way for me to stay at home with the kids.
- Philip’s job as a pediatric resident provides him with the medical know-how to take care of kiddos when these crises arise.
- He had tonight off to be there when we needed him.
- He’ll be able to take care of other kids at the hospital whose families desperately need his help, and he’ll give them the peace of mind that he gave me tonight.
I suppose life isn’t all that bad.
I suppose I can share Philip tomorrow.
I
suppose it’s not the end of the world.
I’m probably still not going to like it, and that’s okay. I don’t have to like it because, well, it doesn’t matter if I like it. I’m not the one who matters. When Philip is able to provide his patients and their families with top-notch medical care in a crisis situation tomorrow, through the night, and into Sunday morning, it won’t matter that I’m bummed he’s gone.
Tonight taught me that I don’t have to like Philip’s absence for his presence somewhere else to matter. After tonight, I realized that his absence from us makes his presence for families in crisis possible. And, you know what? That’s pretty cool.
