![Random Picture Recap]()
by Catherine | Jun 16, 2014 | Family, The Homefront
Thought I’d share a few pictures of what we’ve been up to since the big move.
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| Playing on the parish playground. Did I mention our new parish is a leisurely five minute stroll from our home? GLORIOUS! |
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| Walt, our Very Hungry Caterpillar at the Lincoln Zoo |
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| Another beautiful evening at the parish playground |
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| Grilling Master on Father’s Day |
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| Helping “Papa” with his Father’s Day presents |
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| Crazy hair and an ice cream mustache |
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| Philip loves to have Harry play peek-a-boo around the corner. “Hi, Mom! Whatcha doin’?” |
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| Running around the backyard. I could go on and on and on about how much I looooooooove having a real backyard. Monty loves his new-found freedom! |
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| All ready for ballet class at the local gym |
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| Harry, hanging at the Lincoln zoo |
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| First pony ride at the Lincoln zoo |
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| A regular shopping adventure “at our new Lincoln Target” (as the kids call it) |
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| We eat outside as much as possible because it’s so much fun! |
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| Posing with Grandma Sally during a visit from the Omaha grandparents (Grandma Sally, Grandpa Dan, Great Grandma Connie, and Great Grandpa Mel). I’m still kicking myself for not getting a group photo. |
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| Jane and I got to attend Aunt Maddy’s dance recital. She did such a great job! Beautiful job on the bun, Janet! |
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| Philip has been busy organizing the garage. I’ll share more pictures when he’s done. Way to go, honey! |
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| My loves on Father’s Day |
It’s been a fun, wild ride! In just a few more weeks, Philip will be done commuting to Omaha, and he’ll officially be done with residency. FOR-EV-ER! YAHOO! In the meantime, we’re getting into a rhythm at the house. Most days consist of going to the new gym, storytime, housework/errands, visits to our new favorite spots (zoo, library, parks), and play dates with our Lincoln buddies. It’s been a great summer so far, and we’re looking forward to more fun times in the months to come!
![6 Years Ago Today]()
by Catherine | Jun 11, 2014 | Marriage
6 years ago today, Philip and I were on our honeymoon in Rome. What a way to start a marriage, huh? Not only were we in Rome, but we were getting our marriage blessed by Pope Benedict XVI at a Wednesday audience in St. Peter’s Square. (I wrote another post about the day we received our papal blessing here.)
As we were seated for the papal blessing, we realized our Newman Center friends, Tim and Sara, were seated right next to us! Without knowing it, we had all decided to honeymoon in Rome at the same time and receive a papal blessing. 6 years later, we’re living in the same city, and Sara and I are in the same Catholic women’s Bible study.
I love looking back at the photos from our honeymoon, especially from the day of our papal blessing. I know our marriage was strengthened by the graces we received that day. How cool is it that we got to spend some of the first days of our new life together in Rome?! Oh, to be able to go back…and eat lots and lots of gelato.
Today, 6 years after our papal blessing, things are equally as adventurous and romantic! There is rarely a dull moment with our three little musketeers.
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| Today’s AM trip to Target |
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| My lunch dates |
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| Monty wanted to be in the shot |
It’s funny thinking about how much has changed since our honeymoon. Here are a few of our favorite pictures from the rest of the trip:
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| I wish I could tell you where they were from and where they were going, but those caged chickens were getting a papal blessing, too! |
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| In the Colosseum |
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| Making authentic Italian pizza in one of our favorite restaurants from the trip |
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| Trevi Fountain |
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| Another delicious dinner |
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| Selfie in front of the statue of Bruno |
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| I loved the Swiss Guards’s uniforms |
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| From our private tour of the Vatican Museum after hours. Let me tell ya…going through there with only a dozen people is an experience I won’t soon forget! |
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| This Sacred Heart School girl had to pay a visit to Mater |
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| We had to snap a picture of these Pope John Paul II suckers (now they would be saint suckers!) |
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| My hunk of a husband in front of the Colosseum |
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| St. Peter’s after our tour of the Vatican Museum |
When we were strolling around Rome hand-in-hand, Philip and I talked about the family we wanted to have. God blessed us big time with our beautiful kiddos, and our days are anything but ordinary! Life might not be as glamorous as nighttime strolls in Rome, but I’d pick our new life any day. Philip’s residency is *nearly* over, so it feels like our life as a normal family is just beginning. With a new city, a new house, and Philip’s new job, it’s like a second honeymoon. Who knows what the next 6 years will bring! God has taught us one thing: keep Him at the center of our marriage, and He will not be outdone in generosity.
![What’s missing?]()
by Catherine | Jun 9, 2014 | The Homefront
Below is a picture of our new family room. Can you find what’s missing?
It’s actually a trick question because we don’t think the room is missing anything. I was hoping you’d notice that the family room doesn’t have a television. Did you? We’re not finished decorating or putting in the finishing touches, but we are so, so, so, so thrilled with our decision not to put a television in the family room.
When we first saw the house, we considered putting a television above the mantle, but I cringed at the idea of making a television the focal point of the room. I didn’t want to put a TV up on the wall behind the chairs either. So, no television in the family room!
We have one television in the entire house, and it’s in the basement. That TV has the basic channels (CBS, NBC, ABC, PBS, and FOX), and we have an Apple TV, so we use that to stream shows & movies from Netflix and HuluPlus.
It’s amazing how the geography of the television has affected how much we watch. Since the only television in the house is in the basement, we have to be much more deliberate in choosing to watch something. We no longer have it on as background noise or as a tool to help the kids transition to or from nap/bedtime. Instead, TV time is a special treat and reward. When the TV is on, we’re actually watching together and talking about what we’re seeing. TV watching is back to being an event to look forward to and enjoy together.
I love the transformation not having a television on the main floor (or upstairs) has had on the kids. They are outside as much as possible when the weather cooperates, they’re using their imaginations to come up with fun games, they explore and play in every room of the house, their listening skills are sharper, they’re more engaged with whatever activities they’re doing, I’ve noticed a jump in their language skills, and (perhaps my favorite benefit) they have been sleeping soooooooooo well because they are much busier.
As for Philip and I, we are more productive, we have better conversations, we don’t rely on the television to fill our evenings, we’re reading more, we’re getting to bed earlier, and we’re waking up earlier. Even though Philip is still commuting back to Omaha this month as he finishes up residency, he’s waking up early enough to go to our new gym and workout before heading in to work. I’m using that extra time in the morning to have quiet prayer time, make everyone breakfast, and get the crew out the door so that I can get my own workout in. It’s been a little slice of heaven!
The only drawback we’re anticipating is a potential riot from friends and family when it sinks in that we don’t have a TV on the main level during Husker football season. If it’s a home game, now we can just head downtown to watch the whole thing live!
Until then, we are loving all of the positive changes.
What’s the TV situation like at your house? What about when you were growing up? Did you have a TV in your bedroom? What kinds of rules or limits do you have with screen time at your house (if any)?
![What's missing?]()
by Catherine | Jun 9, 2014 | The Homefront
Below is a picture of our new family room. Can you find what’s missing?
It’s actually a trick question because we don’t think the room is missing anything. I was hoping you’d notice that the family room doesn’t have a television. Did you? We’re not finished decorating or putting in the finishing touches, but we are so, so, so, so thrilled with our decision not to put a television in the family room.
When we first saw the house, we considered putting a television above the mantle, but I cringed at the idea of making a television the focal point of the room. I didn’t want to put a TV up on the wall behind the chairs either. So, no television in the family room!
We have one television in the entire house, and it’s in the basement. That TV has the basic channels (CBS, NBC, ABC, PBS, and FOX), and we have an Apple TV, so we use that to stream shows & movies from Netflix and HuluPlus.
It’s amazing how the geography of the television has affected how much we watch. Since the only television in the house is in the basement, we have to be much more deliberate in choosing to watch something. We no longer have it on as background noise or as a tool to help the kids transition to or from nap/bedtime. Instead, TV time is a special treat and reward. When the TV is on, we’re actually watching together and talking about what we’re seeing. TV watching is back to being an event to look forward to and enjoy together.
I love the transformation not having a television on the main floor (or upstairs) has had on the kids. They are outside as much as possible when the weather cooperates, they’re using their imaginations to come up with fun games, they explore and play in every room of the house, their listening skills are sharper, they’re more engaged with whatever activities they’re doing, I’ve noticed a jump in their language skills, and (perhaps my favorite benefit) they have been sleeping soooooooooo well because they are much busier.
As for Philip and I, we are more productive, we have better conversations, we don’t rely on the television to fill our evenings, we’re reading more, we’re getting to bed earlier, and we’re waking up earlier. Even though Philip is still commuting back to Omaha this month as he finishes up residency, he’s waking up early enough to go to our new gym and workout before heading in to work. I’m using that extra time in the morning to have quiet prayer time, make everyone breakfast, and get the crew out the door so that I can get my own workout in. It’s been a little slice of heaven!
The only drawback we’re anticipating is a potential riot from friends and family when it sinks in that we don’t have a TV on the main level during Husker football season. If it’s a home game, now we can just head downtown to watch the whole thing live!
Until then, we are loving all of the positive changes.
What’s the TV situation like at your house? What about when you were growing up? Did you have a TV in your bedroom? What kinds of rules or limits do you have with screen time at your house (if any)?
![Help a Decorating Challenged Girl Create an Oratory]()
by Catherine | Jun 5, 2014 | Faith, The Homefront
I’ve been inspired by this summer book club, “Summer in the Little Oratory,” to create our own “little oratory.” An oratory is just a fancy word for a dedicated prayer space. As my friend Lisa Schmidt says, it’s all about “bringing the monastic into my domestic.” (If you haven’t checked out the book club yet, you should! Lisa Schmidt gives a great intro and summary of what the group is all about here. There are weekly posts dedicated to each chapter of the book, and there is an accompanying podcast as well. The book is The Little Oratory: A Beginner’s Guide to Praying at Home.)
The good news is I stumbled upon the book club series for the little oratory at a perfect time–just after we moved into a new home. The bad news is I’m, well, shall we say….decorating challenged.
This is my plea to get some decorating advice for my little oratory from all of you. I’ve found what I think is the perfect space for our little oratory, but I’m not sure what to do with it. We have a small hallway from our front door that leads into the family room/kitchen. The space I have in mind is in direct eyesight from the front door. It’s directly behind the family room loveseat in a little nook that backs up to a wall separating the family room from the kitchen informal dining area.
Here’s the angle from the hallway.
Since we already have so much furniture for seating in the family room, I don’t want to add another chair. I want our little oratory to be a place to store our Bibles, the Catechism, lives of the saints, studies/devotionals, rosaries, holy water, other reference books. I’m envisioning beautiful artwork including icons of Jesus, the Blessed Mother, our family’s favorite intercessors.
Here’s another angle of the space:
I went to a lot of trouble to create a “circle time” bulletin board earlier this year. I’m on the fence as to whether or not I’d include it on the little wall backing up to the kitchen, or if I should just leave it in the playroom downstairs…It’s very classroom-y and not very aesthetically pleasing, so I hesitate to put it up on the wall.
Buuuuuuuut the kids would love to have that easy access to it, and it’d be nice to sit on the ground with them after breakfast and start our day off together in front of our religious artwork. Maybe I could just prop it against the wall? I’d love for the kids to be able to see everything that’s on that board on a more regular basis than they would in the basement playroom. It has a Happy Saints liturgical calendar, our daily prayers (Morning Offering, Angelus, and prayer to St. Joseph), the days of the week with an attached devotion to each, the mysteries of the Rosary for that day, and our special prayer intentions as well as our extended family “person of the week” that we’re praying for.
I know, I know….it’s our space, and we should just do what we want with it, but I want it to be pretty! I want it to be my little visual retreat every time I glance at it or come over to get my prayer materials. Maybe I should just put it on the wall and remember that I don’t have to look at it from the kitchen!
Let me share a few pictures of the family room so that you get an idea of what the surrounding space looks like:
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| From the kitchen |
The previous owners sold us their kitchen table & chairs and the family room sofa, loveseat, and two chairs. Yay for inexpensively furnishing our home! Kindly pretend that: our built-ins are perfectly accessorized, this shorty bothered to pull out the ladder to put stuff on the top shelves, and that I have the right art up on the walls.
Now that you have a sense of what the rest of the space looks like, how would you go about filling the oratory?
For this wall, I was thinking
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- Framed artwork and crucifix on the wall
- Short, wide bookcase
- Use top of bookcase for smaller artwork, statues, flowers, candles/candlesticks
- Use shelves to store our Bibles, the Catechism, lives of the saints, studies/devotionals, rosaries, holy water, other reference books
What do I do about this wall?
I don’t want to add additional seating. Is the circle time board really crazy ugly to hang here? Be brutally honest, please. Really. Just tell me. Do I need to just leave it blank? Share your brilliance! I’ve been spending my prayer time in the family room on the couch or at the kitchen table, so I guess I’m treating this area as a storage space & visual retreat. Maybe I should add something to make the area more enticing for the kids to stay there like some little baskets that they can easily get their books and sacramentals from. I have some space next to that end table (or even the bottom shelf of that end table) where I can put a little bean bag and some bins. What about those cute little cube seats with the removable lids for storage?
I love, love, love this prayer space that a teacher in a Catholic school created for her kindergarteners.
Maybe that’s what this wall needs to become–the elementary-themed oratory space with the circle time board, a cute framed “let the children come to me,” and bins for their stuff.
I’d adore any and all feedback you have! Help a decorating challenged girl out.
By the way, I created a “Little Oratory” board on Pinterest to help me gather my favorite pictures of other oratories and some artwork I’d love to have in our space.
![Life’s Too Short for Mommy Guilt]()
by Catherine | May 30, 2014 | Everything Else, Family, Marriage
Jim Gaffigan is right. It is amazing that mothers have anyone to talk to! He lays out his brilliant case in Dad is Fat:
“Motherhood is filled with executive decisions, and with each decision comes possible conflict with kids, husbands, and other mom friends. With these other mom friends, there are so many opportunities for major disagreements and awkwardness. Let’s say that a woman starts with twenty friends when she finds out she’s pregnant. There is going to be awkwardness with, let’s say, six of those friends because they have no interest in babies or are jealous she is pregnant. Then four won’t agree with how she behaves during the pregnancy. She’s too uptight, too casual, or not available enough as a friend. We are down to ten friends. Then there are the decisions of how the baby will be delivered, breastfeeding, circumcision, blanket or no blanket in the crib, and whether or not to return to work after the birth. These topics turn out to be more divisive than opinions about politics and religion. After a couple of kids, there might be one good friend left. And that friend is never available because she has too many kids herself. I’m amazed mothers have anyone to talk to. When a man finds out he’s going to be a father, it barely covers more than twenty seconds of a conversation with his male friends. ‘I heard you two are expecting! Congratu…Who do you think is the best quarterback in the fourth quarter?'”
Oi vey. As if motherhood weren’t tough enough, now we have the digital age intruding. Everyone has an opinion on every single itty bitty little facet of mothering. If you’re somehow connected to social media, someone will come along (if they haven’t already) and tell you how you’re doing it all wrong. The digital age makes it so much easier for the smug know-it-alls of the world to let you know that you’re an idiot. If we’re not careful, this tendency can bleed over into the world of mommy friends, and it can be downright toxic if we let it. The steady build-up of mommy guilt creates a crazy mama.
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| I don’t think she had mommy guilt. She had more important things to focus on. |
I’m still a rookie in the world of parenting, but I’ve learned to own one thing: life is too short for unnecessary mommy guilt. (Note: Guilt is a good thing. If we have a well-formed conscience, guilt is God’s way of setting off alarm bells to STOP whatever we’re doing because it’s bad for us. Unnecessary mommy guilt is the huge load of self-imposed guilt we have for not parenting the way someone else thinks we should.) I don’t parent the exact same way as my own mother, my sister and sisters-in-law, or my dear friends. Philip and I have figured out the brand of parenting that’s working for our family, and we keep reinventing things or making it up as we go. There will always be the people telling us that we’re doing it wrong or that we should rethink something. Of course, there will always be areas that I need to work on as a mom. So long as I’m human, there will be room for improvement. God, my conscience, and family do a bang up job filling me in on my shortcomings. Unless mommy advice is coming from the Holy Spirit or a sweet loved one with my family’s best interests genuinely at heart, we keep rolling with the punches.
I’m learning to own my role in this family. A big part of that is figuring out what makes me me–for better and for worse. That means spending a lot of time asking God to reveal my strengths, weaknesses, habits, vices, and virtues. It means humbly accepting my limitations and asking for an extra heap of grace on the days when my capacity to serve isn’t meeting my family’s needs. It also means seeking absolution in the confessional for all of my failings. Beyond that, letting go of unnecessary mommy guilt is one of the best things I’ve done for our family.
Everyone will have different versions of mommy guilt. Letting go of mommy guilt around here looks like this:
Naps
I love sleep. A good nap is more precious than gold for this lady! If the kids’ naptime rolls around, and I’m feeling like I’m not going to make it to dinner without losing my mind, I lay down. I may lose out on some valuable time to get some housework done, but the nap replaces the crazy lady with the short fuse with a happy mama. In my experience, the guilt associated with crazy lady with the short fuse is not worth the dusted family room. When my pillow beckons me, I give in.
Congratulating myself for breastfeeding all three babies (no matter how long)
I tried breastfeeding all three kids, and my record is 5 months with Harry. I plan to breastfeed any future kiddos we may be blessed with, and I’m still hopeful that I can make it longer with future babies, but I’m not going to breastfeed at the expense of my sanity or the peace of the whole fam. Yes, absolutely, breast is best, and breastfeeding moms are huge heroes in my book. However, I’ve learned that attaching breastfeeding to my self worth as a mom does more harm than good. Ironically, when I let go of all of that, I was able to breastfeed for the longest amount of time. Here’s to hoping we will be blessed with more babies and that breastfeeding goes swimmingly. If it doesn’t, I’ll remember that how I feed my babies is only one part of mothering.
Choosing Philip
This culture wants me to choose my kids over my husband, but I won’t because I know I can’t if I want our marriage to be in top form. In order for me to be a good mom, I choose to be a good wife first. No mommy guilt in this department means regular date nights, no kids allowed in our bed, a regular bedtime routine for everyone (remember, I love sleep!), and lots of making out. Lots and lots of making out.
Asking For and Accepting Forgiveness
When I screw up (ask the peanut gallery how often that happens), I’ve learned to both ask for forgiveness and accept it. I make it a regular point to ask the kids for forgiveness when I screw up–yelling, nagging, being too strict, the list goes on… Have you ever asked a 2-year-old for forgiveness and heard their sweet little voice say, “I forgive you, Mama”? The hard part is believing them when they say we’re forgiven and resolving to make a change.
There’s always the temptation when I leave the confessional after hearing the words of absolution to think, “Nah. I’m such a wretch. There’s no way God forgives me for that.” Stewing in guilt is a slap in the face to God who offers us His Divine Mercy. It’s some sort of twisted power trip that only ends up making me bitter for being a wretch. So, when I go to sleep, instead of stewing in whatever ways I screwed up as a mom that day, I believe in my kids’ words of forgiveness (even if they don’t completely understand how I screwed up), and I resolve to do better the next day–praying that God will give me a huge heap of grace to actually change. More often than not, I end up asking for forgiveness for the same things every single day. When I complained to a priest that I keep bringing the same things into the confessional over and over again, he said, “Well, I suppose it’s better than bringing in a bunch of new sins!”
Asking For and Accepting Help
The silly, younger me soldiered on through the tough times with so much as thinking of asking for help. “Only the weak do that! I’ve got this.” Silly, silly, silly me. Somehow, I thought accepting help from people offering it would be imposing on them. It wasn’t until I miscarried our baby, Thérése, that God taught me the great healing that comes when we allow others to be the Body of Christ to us. I realized it was healing for me to receive their love during that time, but I learned another thing. People love us, and they have a genuine need to show us that love. When we constantly shrug off their genuine offers to love us through loving acts of service, that’s not brave or admirable; it’s actually selfish. If we’re going through tough stuff, people want and need to help. (Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s such a thing as the intrusive sorta folks. I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about the dear woman in your parish who brought you that delicious home-cooked dinner after you had a baby or the neighbor who put a gorgeous planter of annuals on your front stoop after learning that your father died.) God made us body and soul, and it’s a good thing for us to exercise giving and receiving the spiritual and corporal works of mercy. The only reward for the self-appointed supermom who soldiers it alone day after day is exhaustion and self-pity.
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| How exhausted self-appointed supermom feels |
A writer over at Yahoo shared a story about how she was having one of those mornings with her kiddos. When another mom asked her what was wrong at school drop-off, she regaled her with the play-by-play of everything that had gone wrong that morning. The concerned friend kindly asked her how she could help. The author calls this offer of help the “‘nice’ mom gesture that kind of irks me.” I had to reread the article to make sure I understood correctly. Another mom saw her need for help, went out of her way to offer assistance, and the frazzled mom’s reaction was something like, “How DARE SHE think I can’t handle this!”
The old me was totally the indignant frazzled mom. The new me is still frazzled, but when there’s an offer of help on the table, I’m able to say, “YES! Please! I’d love some help!” What the old frazzled me didn’t get was that the moms who are offering their help aren’t doing it out of some charity for me. (Besides, even if they are, the good news is that I’m still getting help, right?! Joke’s on them!) In my experience, the mom friends who are the first to offer help are also willing to accept it. I learned that they accept their own limitations, empathize with another mom’s need for help, and strive to be good friends by giving and receiving. With the mommy yoke temporary lifted off of our shoulders every now and then, we come back refreshed and ready to pay it forward with the other mamas around them. If I knew the author of that article, I’d tell her to start accepting offers of help before they disappear. If we’re honest, we know that we could use some help every now and then. Besides, the people who love us need to be needed, and it’s good to let them love us!
Are You Ready to Let Go Of Mommy Guilt?
There is always going to be someone out there telling you or just making you feel like you’re a complete failure as a mother. Remember this: you have no idea what’s going on behind closed doors in that woman’s life. Besides, even if her life is as perfect as it looks from the outside, her family’s needs are not your family’s needs. So long as we’re honest with God about our shortcomings and are asking Him for the strength to keep giving it our all everyday, there’s nothing to fear, shame, or stew in. Look in the mirror, know that God entrusted your children’s souls to you, and that you are exactly the woman He is asking to faithfully form and guide them until you give them back. That’s all there is to it. No more comparing or keeping score.
Allow the beautiful women you surround yourself with to build you up and be a blessing in your life. Build them up. Accept their help. Be generous in your offers to help them. Better yet, make your offers specific to your friend’s needs so that they’ll be less likely to turn them down. Remember that she’s best equipped to raise her family and you’re best equipped to raise yours. When you find those friends who are equally present for you during the rough patches and the good times, hold onto them tight. They’ll help you keep fighting the good fight and remind you to let go of unnecessary mommy guilt along the way. Listen to them. Believe them. Life’s too short for mommy guilt.
Go, play with your kids. Take breaks. Accept help. Give help. Keep romancing your husband, and make sure he’s #2 only to God. Your kids will thank you for it later. Ask your kids for forgiveness when you screw up (and you will), and be sure you actually accept their forgiveness. Pray for the grace to do better tomorrow. God won’t be outdone in generosity. With Him, all things are possible, and He’ll release you from all of that silly mommy guilt you’re hanging onto.
Mama Mary, pray for us!
![Life's Too Short for Mommy Guilt]()
by Catherine | May 30, 2014 | Everything Else, Family, Marriage
Jim Gaffigan is right. It is amazing that mothers have anyone to talk to! He lays out his brilliant case in Dad is Fat:
“Motherhood is filled with executive decisions, and with each decision comes possible conflict with kids, husbands, and other mom friends. With these other mom friends, there are so many opportunities for major disagreements and awkwardness. Let’s say that a woman starts with twenty friends when she finds out she’s pregnant. There is going to be awkwardness with, let’s say, six of those friends because they have no interest in babies or are jealous she is pregnant. Then four won’t agree with how she behaves during the pregnancy. She’s too uptight, too casual, or not available enough as a friend. We are down to ten friends. Then there are the decisions of how the baby will be delivered, breastfeeding, circumcision, blanket or no blanket in the crib, and whether or not to return to work after the birth. These topics turn out to be more divisive than opinions about politics and religion. After a couple of kids, there might be one good friend left. And that friend is never available because she has too many kids herself. I’m amazed mothers have anyone to talk to. When a man finds out he’s going to be a father, it barely covers more than twenty seconds of a conversation with his male friends. ‘I heard you two are expecting! Congratu…Who do you think is the best quarterback in the fourth quarter?'”
Oi vey. As if motherhood weren’t tough enough, now we have the digital age intruding. Everyone has an opinion on every single itty bitty little facet of mothering. If you’re somehow connected to social media, someone will come along (if they haven’t already) and tell you how you’re doing it all wrong. The digital age makes it so much easier for the smug know-it-alls of the world to let you know that you’re an idiot. If we’re not careful, this tendency can bleed over into the world of mommy friends, and it can be downright toxic if we let it. The steady build-up of mommy guilt creates a crazy mama.
|
| I don’t think she had mommy guilt. She had more important things to focus on. |
I’m still a rookie in the world of parenting, but I’ve learned to own one thing: life is too short for unnecessary mommy guilt. (Note: Guilt is a good thing. If we have a well-formed conscience, guilt is God’s way of setting off alarm bells to STOP whatever we’re doing because it’s bad for us. Unnecessary mommy guilt is the huge load of self-imposed guilt we have for not parenting the way someone else thinks we should.) I don’t parent the exact same way as my own mother, my sister and sisters-in-law, or my dear friends. Philip and I have figured out the brand of parenting that’s working for our family, and we keep reinventing things or making it up as we go. There will always be the people telling us that we’re doing it wrong or that we should rethink something. Of course, there will always be areas that I need to work on as a mom. So long as I’m human, there will be room for improvement. God, my conscience, and family do a bang up job filling me in on my shortcomings. Unless mommy advice is coming from the Holy Spirit or a sweet loved one with my family’s best interests genuinely at heart, we keep rolling with the punches.
I’m learning to own my role in this family. A big part of that is figuring out what makes me me–for better and for worse. That means spending a lot of time asking God to reveal my strengths, weaknesses, habits, vices, and virtues. It means humbly accepting my limitations and asking for an extra heap of grace on the days when my capacity to serve isn’t meeting my family’s needs. It also means seeking absolution in the confessional for all of my failings. Beyond that, letting go of unnecessary mommy guilt is one of the best things I’ve done for our family.
Everyone will have different versions of mommy guilt. Letting go of mommy guilt around here looks like this:
Naps
I love sleep. A good nap is more precious than gold for this lady! If the kids’ naptime rolls around, and I’m feeling like I’m not going to make it to dinner without losing my mind, I lay down. I may lose out on some valuable time to get some housework done, but the nap replaces the crazy lady with the short fuse with a happy mama. In my experience, the guilt associated with crazy lady with the short fuse is not worth the dusted family room. When my pillow beckons me, I give in.
Congratulating myself for breastfeeding all three babies (no matter how long)
I tried breastfeeding all three kids, and my record is 5 months with Harry. I plan to breastfeed any future kiddos we may be blessed with, and I’m still hopeful that I can make it longer with future babies, but I’m not going to breastfeed at the expense of my sanity or the peace of the whole fam. Yes, absolutely, breast is best, and breastfeeding moms are huge heroes in my book. However, I’ve learned that attaching breastfeeding to my self worth as a mom does more harm than good. Ironically, when I let go of all of that, I was able to breastfeed for the longest amount of time. Here’s to hoping we will be blessed with more babies and that breastfeeding goes swimmingly. If it doesn’t, I’ll remember that how I feed my babies is only one part of mothering.
Choosing Philip
This culture wants me to choose my kids over my husband, but I won’t because I know I can’t if I want our marriage to be in top form. In order for me to be a good mom, I choose to be a good wife first. No mommy guilt in this department means regular date nights, no kids allowed in our bed, a regular bedtime routine for everyone (remember, I love sleep!), and lots of making out. Lots and lots of making out.
Asking For and Accepting Forgiveness
When I screw up (ask the peanut gallery how often that happens), I’ve learned to both ask for forgiveness and accept it. I make it a regular point to ask the kids for forgiveness when I screw up–yelling, nagging, being too strict, the list goes on… Have you ever asked a 2-year-old for forgiveness and heard their sweet little voice say, “I forgive you, Mama”? The hard part is believing them when they say we’re forgiven and resolving to make a change.
There’s always the temptation when I leave the confessional after hearing the words of absolution to think, “Nah. I’m such a wretch. There’s no way God forgives me for that.” Stewing in guilt is a slap in the face to God who offers us His Divine Mercy. It’s some sort of twisted power trip that only ends up making me bitter for being a wretch. So, when I go to sleep, instead of stewing in whatever ways I screwed up as a mom that day, I believe in my kids’ words of forgiveness (even if they don’t completely understand how I screwed up), and I resolve to do better the next day–praying that God will give me a huge heap of grace to actually change. More often than not, I end up asking for forgiveness for the same things every single day. When I complained to a priest that I keep bringing the same things into the confessional over and over again, he said, “Well, I suppose it’s better than bringing in a bunch of new sins!”
Asking For and Accepting Help
The silly, younger me soldiered on through the tough times with so much as thinking of asking for help. “Only the weak do that! I’ve got this.” Silly, silly, silly me. Somehow, I thought accepting help from people offering it would be imposing on them. It wasn’t until I miscarried our baby, Thérése, that God taught me the great healing that comes when we allow others to be the Body of Christ to us. I realized it was healing for me to receive their love during that time, but I learned another thing. People love us, and they have a genuine need to show us that love. When we constantly shrug off their genuine offers to love us through loving acts of service, that’s not brave or admirable; it’s actually selfish. If we’re going through tough stuff, people want and need to help. (Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s such a thing as the intrusive sorta folks. I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about the dear woman in your parish who brought you that delicious home-cooked dinner after you had a baby or the neighbor who put a gorgeous planter of annuals on your front stoop after learning that your father died.) God made us body and soul, and it’s a good thing for us to exercise giving and receiving the spiritual and corporal works of mercy. The only reward for the self-appointed supermom who soldiers it alone day after day is exhaustion and self-pity.
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| How exhausted self-appointed supermom feels |
A writer over at Yahoo shared a story about how she was having one of those mornings with her kiddos. When another mom asked her what was wrong at school drop-off, she regaled her with the play-by-play of everything that had gone wrong that morning. The concerned friend kindly asked her how she could help. The author calls this offer of help the “‘nice’ mom gesture that kind of irks me.” I had to reread the article to make sure I understood correctly. Another mom saw her need for help, went out of her way to offer assistance, and the frazzled mom’s reaction was something like, “How DARE SHE think I can’t handle this!”
The old me was totally the indignant frazzled mom. The new me is still frazzled, but when there’s an offer of help on the table, I’m able to say, “YES! Please! I’d love some help!” What the old frazzled me didn’t get was that the moms who are offering their help aren’t doing it out of some charity for me. (Besides, even if they are, the good news is that I’m still getting help, right?! Joke’s on them!) In my experience, the mom friends who are the first to offer help are also willing to accept it. I learned that they accept their own limitations, empathize with another mom’s need for help, and strive to be good friends by giving and receiving. With the mommy yoke temporary lifted off of our shoulders every now and then, we come back refreshed and ready to pay it forward with the other mamas around them. If I knew the author of that article, I’d tell her to start accepting offers of help before they disappear. If we’re honest, we know that we could use some help every now and then. Besides, the people who love us need to be needed, and it’s good to let them love us!
Are You Ready to Let Go Of Mommy Guilt?
There is always going to be someone out there telling you or just making you feel like you’re a complete failure as a mother. Remember this: you have no idea what’s going on behind closed doors in that woman’s life. Besides, even if her life is as perfect as it looks from the outside, her family’s needs are not your family’s needs. So long as we’re honest with God about our shortcomings and are asking Him for the strength to keep giving it our all everyday, there’s nothing to fear, shame, or stew in. Look in the mirror, know that God entrusted your children’s souls to you, and that you are exactly the woman He is asking to faithfully form and guide them until you give them back. That’s all there is to it. No more com
paring or keeping score.
Allow the beautiful women you surround yourself with to build you up and be a blessing in your life. Build them up. Accept their help. Be generous in your offers to help them. Better yet, make your offers specific to your friend’s needs so that they’ll be less likely to turn them down. Remember that she’s best equipped to raise her family and you’re best equipped to raise yours. When you find those friends who are equally present for you during the rough patches and the good times, hold onto them tight. They’ll help you keep fighting the good fight and remind you to let go of unnecessary mommy guilt along the way. Listen to them. Believe them. Life’s too short for mommy guilt.
Go, play with your kids. Take breaks. Accept help. Give help. Keep romancing your husband, and make sure he’s #2 only to God. Your kids will thank you for it later. Ask your kids for forgiveness when you screw up (and you will), and be sure you actually accept their forgiveness. Pray for the grace to do better tomorrow. God won’t be outdone in generosity. With Him, all things are possible, and He’ll release you from all of that silly mommy guilt you’re hanging onto.
Mama Mary, pray for us!
![A Letter to Walt For His 3rd Birthday]()
by Catherine | May 25, 2014 | Family
Dear Walt,
I am sorry this is nearly a week late. I know, I know, life of the middle child, huh? Moving took over our lives for a little while. Now that things are starting to settle down, I want to take the time to let you know just how special you are in a letter, little guy. I shouldn’t say “little guy” anymore. You are getting SO BIG and grown up!
I had a ball going through old pictures, thinking about all of our memories together since you entered our lives. You, Mister, make me laugh, and laugh, and laugh. I thought I’d share some of my favorite pictures of you!
When Daddy worked a month of nights last summer, you and Janie begged him to bring donuts home every morning. When he did, your order used to be “brown with sprinkles.” It has since changed to a “Lightning McQueen donut” (translation: pink frosting since you like to do whatever big sis does, but calling it a “Lightning McQueen donut” makes it your own).
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| August 2012 |
Look how much you’ve changed since your first birthday! You were the cutest wootest little engineer. Who knew I was feeding your obsession with Thomas so early? You didn’t have much to say for awhile since you had big sis trying to communicate all of your needs, but you have certainly caught up, and we have such sweet conversations.
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| May 2012 |
One of your favorite things is making everyone laugh. Here’s you, wearing sunglasses one random evening just because. You have the best big, full-bodied giggle! I’m chuckling at the computer just looking at this silly picture.
You are a little stinker, too! Unfortunately, I think you got your stubbornness and fiery temper from your mama. Sorry! One day, Janie didn’t finish her PBJ, and you fished it out of the trash can. No food is wasted around these parts with you around! Silly boy!
You insist on doing everything Jane does, but sometimes it gets you into trouble. Here’s you trying markers for the first time. It didn’t go so well, and Daddy had to irrigate your eye with saline because you had COLORED YOUR CORNEA! You thought it was sooooooooo funny! You’ll think this is funny, too…when Daddy irrigated your eyeball, blue water came out of your nose!
Since Jane is such a big personality, you tend to let her do her thing while you mostly sit back and observe. You have a quiet confidence about you that I adore. This picture captures it perfectly! Get a load of that hair and those aviators! Your hair is phenomenal, by the way. Your Uncle Dave is always impressed by it since the guys on the Witt side don’t tend to have luscious locks. Now that you’re 3, we have finally figured out a way to get it to sit down–unless, of course, it’s right after you woke up.
I was a little nervous that you would get jealous of all of the attention Baby Harry got when he joined our family last August. You embraced your role as big brother right away, and your tender heart melts mine when I watch you play with Harry. You don’t like him quite as well now that he’s crawling and can get into your toys, but you mostly love the little guy. I am so glad I captured this moment of brotherly love.
You found your voice this year while Jane was at preschool two days a week. We had a good amount of one-on-one time since Harry snoozed for most of the morning. It was so fun to have that special time together. Usually, you would ask me to play engines or cars. I love, love, love your imagination! Your engines and cars have fantastic conversations about all of the adventures they go on, and they manage to get themselves into some pretty big problems. You are very independent and would play by yourself all day if I’d let you, but your eyes get SOOOO big and excited when you invite Janie, Mommy, or Daddy to play with you, and we jump right into the elaborate scene you have going at the railyard or racetrack.
You and Janie are the best of friends. You have your usual sibling squabbles, but I am always impressed by how quick you are to forgive and get back to playing. In the last month, you’ve started saying, “I love you, Janie,” out of the blue when you two are playing. You are a great brother with a big, tender heart, and Janie and Harry are so blessed to have you!
Your great imagination came in handy during the moving process. You didn’t mind as Daddy and I boxed up all of your favorite toys. Instead, you’d use that great imagination of yours to dream up new scenarios for your few cars that weren’t boxed up. Here you are, spinning the cars around on the spice rack. You told me it was their new garage.
I keep circling back to your tender heart because it is just the best. We have a tradition of reading stories before nap time. We always snuggle up together after you and Janie each pick out a story. You like to get as close as you can without sitting on my lap, and you always grab my hand. Here you are with your sweet little fingers locked in mine as we look through one of your favorite books before nap time. These are some of my favorite moments from the day. Before you go to sleep, you like to take my face in your hands, push on my cheeks, and say, “I love you, Mama.” You’re my kryptonite, buddy.
Lucky you! Mimi picked up a LIGHTNING MCQUEEN chocolate chip cookie cake for you on your birthday! Look at how precious you are in this picture, giggling with excitement about your awesome cake.
Oh, the cuteness! You had a little trouble blowing out your candles above the box that the cake was in.
So, Uncle Connor generously gave you a boost to get the job done! All day long, you would say, “KA-CHOW!” just like Lightning whenever the mood struck. I think you even said, “KA-CHOW!” when you finally blew out the last candle!
Usually, you say whatever is on your mind as it pops into your brain. Being around you means I get to hear your every thought. Lately, you’re on an “I love _____” kick. “I love our new house. I love my new room. I love the purple front door. I love my cars. I love Janie. I love you, Daddy.” You’re simply adorable.
Look at you through the years! On your birthday in the hospital, as an engineer on your first birthday, stomping puddles at the zoo on your 2nd birthday, and rosy-cheeked after a visit to the park before your 3rd birthday.
Daddy and I are so proud of you, Walt. We pray that God will continue to show you His Love through every member our domestic church. May He continue to bless you with an abundance of grace on your journey as a saint in the making.
When we ask you what you want to be when you grow up, you say, “I want to be a Father Daddy.” I think that’s your way of copping out and saying you want to be a priest AND a dad. Who knows…maybe you’ll get to be a spiritual father to countless souls as a priest, or maybe you will be blessed with your own children in marriage. Whatever vocation God has in store for you, I know you will live it well with your quiet confidence, awe of creation, and tender heart. Until you discern all of that, Daddy and I are so very thankful that God entrusted you to our family. We love you, precious boy! May the Lord bless and keep you, Walter Eugene!
![Jane's Last Day of Preschool]()
by Catherine | May 24, 2014 | Family
Little Miss Jane had a great first year of preschool. Last summer, alllllllllll that she talked about was getting to wear her new uniform, making new friends, meeting her teacher, and everything else related to preschool. She couldn’t wait for the first day!
Posing with brand new baby brother, Harry
The girl doesn’t take a non-silly picture
What a goof!
As it turned out, Jane’s class had the last day of preschool the Tuesday after we moved to Lincoln (an hour away from our new home). I thought, “Well, shoot. That’s a big bummer, but at least she won’t care too much.” I casually mentioned it to Philip on the phone a few weeks ago, and he said, “She has to go to her last day of preschool! She would be so sad if she missed it! We’ll make it work.” Isn’t he adorable?
Philip had taken a few days off from work to help with the move and unpacking. He came up with the idea that he would take Jane back to Omaha for her last morning of preschool. While she was at school, he’d go back to our old house to finish up the cleaning and run a few errands. I love what a softy he is when it comes to the kiddos!
We took a few obligatory last day of school shots. Per usual, Jane wasn’t interested in doing a normal smile!
Check out the first and last days of school pictures side by side. I love how you can see her growth by how much smaller the uniform looks on her in the second picture!
After Philip picked Jane up at preschool, they swung by Costco to pick up a few things and grab lunch. I’m thinking the Costco hotdogs were the real reason for the Omaha trip!
Jane gives everything 100%.
If Jane had it her way, she would have gone to school all day everyday. She’s looking forward to 3-day preschool at her new school next year, and little brother Walt can’t wait for 2-day preschool!
![Jane’s Last Day of Preschool]()
by Catherine | May 24, 2014 | Family
Little Miss Jane had a great first year of preschool. Last summer, alllllllllll that she talked about was getting to wear her new uniform, making new friends, meeting her teacher, and everything else related to preschool. She couldn’t wait for the first day!
Posing with brand new baby brother, Harry
The girl doesn’t take a non-silly picture
What a goof!
As it turned out, Jane’s class had the last day of preschool the Tuesday after we moved to Lincoln (an hour away from our new home). I thought, “Well, shoot. That’s a big bummer, but at least she won’t care too much.” I casually mentioned it to Philip on the phone a few weeks ago, and he said, “She has to go to her last day of preschool! She would be so sad if she missed it! We’ll make it work.” Isn’t he adorable?
Philip had taken a few days off from work to help with the move and unpacking. He came up with the idea that he would take Jane back to Omaha for her last morning of preschool. While she was at school, he’d go back to our old house to finish up the cleaning and run a few errands. I love what a softy he is when it comes to the kiddos!
We took a few obligatory last day of school shots. Per usual, Jane wasn’t interested in doing a normal smile!
Check out the first and last days of school pictures side by side. I love how you can see her growth by how much smaller the uniform looks on her in the second picture!
After Philip picked Jane up at preschool, they swung by Costco to pick up a few things and grab lunch. I’m thinking the Costco hotdogs were the real reason for the Omaha trip!
Jane gives everything 100%.
If Jane had it her way, she would have gone to school all day everyday. She’s looking forward to 3-day preschool at her new school next year, and little brother Walt can’t wait for 2-day preschool!
![An Organized Move]()
by Catherine | May 23, 2014 | Everything Else, The Homefront
Sorry for the blog silence for nearly a month! Things have been just a TAD busy lately. We’ve had all kinds of excitement that I want to catch you up on. For now, I’m limiting myself to writing about our big move!
Last Saturday, we moved out of our very first home in Omaha. Poor Monty was (and still is) so confused!
Philip’s parents generously took the kiddos for us so that we could focus on the actual moving. One of the movers took this pic of me, Philip, and Monty before we hopped in our cars to Lincoln. We couldn’t have asked for better weather on moving day–70’s and sunny! Ahhhhhhh!
The movers were AWESOME! They were fast but took such great care of our things. They kinda made me feel like a hoarder, though, when I saw how FULL the truck was! It’s a good thing God gave these guys the ability to pack things with Tetris-like precision because that’s a talent I don’t have.
However, the movers were glad to see that there was a method to the madness inside of the truck when it came to unloading.
When we started packing months ago, I searched Pinterest and the web for an organization method to this move. Per usual, I stole what I loved and made up my own combination of what I found. My organization system required:
- A huge stack of construction paper with multiple colors (from Costco)
- Shipping labels
- Black Sharpie markers
After we knew the layout of our new home, we designated a color for each room, and I made several keys. I separated the key by levels of the house (upstairs, main level, and basement).
As we packed each box, we slapped a sheet of construction paper on the side of the box that corresponded to the room it was going in. (Red = kitchen, Pink paper = Girl room, Orange = garage, etc.) Then, we put the white label in the middle of the box with its contents. We were as specific as possible on the contents to make unpacking less of a treasure hunt!
On moving day, I taped the laminated keys on the truck, garage, front door, and entryway.
Then, I taped laminated signs on each room with the corresponding color. That way, as the movers unloaded the boxes, all they had to do was find the color on the box and find the corresponding color room, using the key and signs as their guides. Here, you can see the pink sign on the door with the boxes stacked inside with their matching pink labels.
Make sense?
It helped this crazy lady, and the movers kept saying that it was the easiest move they had ever done. Yay!
When the movers packed the truck in Omaha, I asked them to load the red boxes (kitchen) last so that when we got to Lincoln I could focus on lining those shelves and getting the kitchen ready first. The organization paid off because I was able to work nearly uninterrupted while the well-oiled organization system did its thing. Also, we had a professional cleaning company come that morning so that we could focus on unpacking instead of cleaning. Lesson learned: professional movers and cleaners are worth every single penny!
Obligatory selfie in front of the house on moving day.
Nearly a week later, we’re feeling settled and are loving our new home.
Cheers to our new chapter! (Courtesy of the previous owners. Aren’t they the sweetest?!)
![First Visit to the "Family Store"]()
by Catherine | Apr 29, 2014 | Family, The Homefront
I shared our new Happy Saint Reward System last week. (In case you’d like to learn more about it, here’s the system overview, and here’s how I made the coins & jars.)
The first week of the reward system culminated in a visit to our new “Family Store.” The kids brought their saint coin jars downstairs to “buy” items from the 5, 10, and 15 coin bins. For now, we’re using laundry baskets. Maybe we’ll change it up after the big move.
First, the kids surveyed the goods. The 5 bin had things like a big tub of play-doh, bubbles, small hand-held toys, and other small items. The 10 bin had a monster book, a learn how to doodle book, a red phone, stamp markers, scented markers, and some other medium items. The 15 bin had big ticket items like a Melissa & Doug Joey magnetic dress-up set, a box of stencils, ABC rubber stamps, and picture rubber stamps.
Still checking out the goods…
Counting their coins with Daddy
They can pool their coins together for larger items, carry them over into the next week, or buy whatever they’d like for that week. Jane and Walt both opted to buy!
Here’s Walt “paying” for his purchase.
He got this Hear Myself Sound Phone! It’s supposed to improve children’s speech skills because they hear their own voices very clearly. I think he said, “HELLO?!” 1,000,000 times that night!
He was very proud of his purchase and had a few coins leftover.
Miss Jane went for the harmonica. She couldn’t get enough of it!
The kids continue to work hard to behave well and help around the house. They love this reward system, and it seems to be working well for everyone. The kids perform their duties with pep in their step and high hopes of getting saint coins along the way. They love looking at the pictures of the saints and asking about their lives.
When they don’t behave well or forget to do their jobs, my new lines are, “Saints don’t talk like that,” or, “Saints are happy to help because it makes Jesus happy.” Jane and Walt definitely get it because they’ve started saying things like, “I clear the table to make Jesus smile!” and, “I want to be a saint!”
The Family Store will re-open this Friday, and the kids can’t wait! They’re already talking about what kinds of items or special outings they’d like to “buy.” A special family trip to the ice cream store might be on the horizon if Jane and Walt pool their coins together…
![First Visit to the “Family Store”]()
by Catherine | Apr 29, 2014 | Family, The Homefront
I shared our new Happy Saint Reward System last week. (In case you’d like to learn more about it, here’s the system overview, and here’s how I made the coins & jars.)
The first week of the reward system culminated in a visit to our new “Family Store.” The kids brought their saint coin jars downstairs to “buy” items from the 5, 10, and 15 coin bins. For now, we’re using laundry baskets. Maybe we’ll change it up after the big move.
First, the kids surveyed the goods. The 5 bin had things like a big tub of play-doh, bubbles, small hand-held toys, and other small items. The 10 bin had a monster book, a learn how to doodle book, a red phone, stamp markers, scented markers, and some other medium items. The 15 bin had big ticket items like a Melissa & Doug Joey magnetic dress-up set, a box of stencils, ABC rubber stamps, and picture rubber stamps.
Still checking out the goods…
Counting their coins with Daddy
They can pool their coins together for larger items, carry them over into the next week, or buy whatever they’d like for that week. Jane and Walt both opted to buy!
Here’s Walt “paying” for his purchase.
He got this Hear Myself Sound Phone! It’s supposed to improve children’s speech skills because they hear their own voices very clearly. I think he said, “HELLO?!” 1,000,000 times that night!
He was very proud of his purchase and had a few coins leftover.
Miss Jane went for the harmonica. She couldn’t get enough of it!
The kids continue to work hard to behave well and help around the house. They love this reward system, and it seems to be working well for everyone. The kids perform their duties with pep in their step and high hopes of getting saint coins along the way. They love looking at the pictures of the saints and asking about their lives.
When they don’t behave well or forget to do their jobs, my new lines are, “Saints don’t talk like that,” or, “Saints are happy to help because it makes Jesus happy.” Jane and Walt definitely get it because they’ve started saying things like, “I clear the table to make Jesus smile!” and, “I want to be a saint!”
The Family Store will re-open this Friday, and the kids can’t wait! They’re already talking about what kinds of items or special outings they’d like to “buy.” A special family trip to the ice cream store might be on the horizon if Jane and Walt pool their coins together…
![Happy Saints Reward System: How To]()
by Catherine | Apr 22, 2014 | Family, The Homefront
Yesterday, I shared an overview of how our Happy Saints reward system works.
Today, I’ll share how I created the Happy Saints coins and the kids’ coin jars. I *did not* receive any material compensation for linking to the products I used. I simply thought I’d share this fun project with other families looking for a way to encourage their kiddos on their own paths to sainthood.
The Happy Saints Coins
The cornerstone of this project is the equally adorable and educational artwork of Victor Teh with Happy Saints. Victor uses bright, fun colors in a kid-friendly way to capture the faces of saints and illustrate various Christian themes. He has several ebooks with “badges” that I used to create our saint tokens. Simply buy an ebook from Happy Saints and resize the circular badges to the size you’re using. I resized ours to 1.5″.
GREAT NEWS! When I was linking to the Happy Saints page, I found that Victor is having an Easter Sale at Happy Saints. All ebooks are 20% off from April 20-27 when you use the promo code EASTER20. Check out the ebooks today!
We resized our images to 1.5″ on PowerPoint. Then, we printed them on this label paper.
Then, I used this 1.5″ circular hole punch to punch out the saint images.
Next, I separated the printed images from the label backing and stuck them on these 1.5″ wooden discs.
Then, Philip placed the discs inside a shallow cardboard box (thanks, Costco!), and sprayed them with two coats of a clear Mod Podge lacquer.
We added the lacquer so that the coins would be water resistant and the images would be sealed to the coins.
Saint Coin Jars
We purchased a box of pint-sized mason jars at the grocery store. Then, we replaced the original canning lids with these coin bank mason jar lids. (Note: They fit the original size mason jars and not the wide mouth jars!) Finally, we found some stickers to decorate them from Hobby Lobby. Walt selected a Cars theme, and Jane selected Sleeping Beauty.
The kids love the satisfying clink that the jars make when they put their saint coins inside. The coins are quickly becoming collector’s items around these parts. Jane and Walt love seeing the different saints’ faces on the coins and asking questions about them. Day 2 of the Happy Saints Reward System is going swimmingly.
![Happy Saints Reward System]()
by Catherine | Apr 21, 2014 | Family, The Homefront
I’m *finally* implementing the reward system that goes along with our kiddos’ new chores.
I found this fantastic idea to create a system using saint coins, chore charts, and a family store from Humble Dwelling. I’ve tweaked the system to make it work for us.
Today, I’ll share how the system works. Tomorrow, I’ll share how I created our saint coins and the kids’ coin jars.
How the system works
The saint coins are the currency for our reward system.
The kids receive saint tokens for performing their duties well, being exemplary in their behavior, or for “getting caught” being good in some other way. The token stash is stored on top of the fridge where (for now!) only Philip and I can get to it. When we catch the kids being good, we reward them with one saint coin from the master jar.
The kids store the coins they earn in their personalized coin jars. Jane and Walt received their saint coin jars in their Easter baskets.
This Friday night, our “Family Store” will open for business for the first time. Our “Family Store” will have 3 bins labeled 5, 10, and 15.
The 3 bins will contain items categorized such as:
- 5 bin: small items like candy or dollar section toys
- 10 bin: more desirable items like play doh, coloring books, markers, crayons, sticker books
- 15 bin: trips to the ice cream store, movie rental, one-on-one time with Mom or Dad, apps, LeapPad games
The kids will use their saint tokens to “buy” items from the bins. They have the option of carrying their coins over to the next week or pooling their coins together for larger items like a family trip out for ice cream.
I’ll share pictures of the “Family Store” once I’ve actually made it!
