![Revisiting Our Family’s Rule of Life]()
by Catherine | Jan 15, 2015 | Faith, Family, Marriage, The Homefront
I first read Holly Pierlot’s A Mother’s Rule of Life back in Lent 2014. As part of my Lenten mission, I came up with a rough sketch of our Family Rule of Life. Since then, we have moved to a new house in a new city. Now that we’re settled, the kids are back in the school routine, and the craziness of the holidays are over, I’m ready to share how I started revisiting our Family Rule of Life during Advent. While my vocation and its essential duties remain the same, our surroundings, the children’s development, our relationships with God and each other have changed significantly.
Before I jump in, let’s circle back to revisit a few things:
First, what’s a “Rule of Life”?
Holly Pierlot defines a rule of life as an “examination of one’s vocation and the duties it entails, and the development of a schedule for fulfilling these responsibilities in a consistent and orderly way.”
Before I pulled together the first draft of our schedule last year, I needed to determine:
- What’s my vocation? (My answer is what I call this the proper hierarchy of relationships. The order is very intentional here.)
- Child of God
- Wife
- Mother
- What are the essential duties that my vocation entails?
- Child of God: Sustain a regular prayer life, frequent the sacraments, attend Mass, and show my love of God through my love of neighbor. I also have the responsibility to care for myself (personal prayer, recreation, good nutrition, exercise, rest) so that I can perform all of my duties well. (My duties to self will be explored more with the 2nd P, Person.)
- Wife: Holly Pierlot quotes Saint Pope John Paul II as saying that love could be defined as “availability, acceptance, and help.” As a wife, I have the duty to: be available to my husband (Ever hear of SPICE in your NFP training? We are to be available to our spouses Spiritually, Physically, Intellectually, Creatively, Emotionally), be accepting of all of him, and to be a helper instead of a hindrance on his journey to sainthood. In order to fulfill my duties as a wife, I need to keep my relationship with Philip second only to my relationship with God, but above all relationships–even our children.
- Mother: I can’t sum up my duties as a mother more succinctly than Holly Pierlot did in her section on parenting. She says that it is a “call to form persons. We’re called to bring God to our children’s spirits, truth to their minds, health to their bodies, skill to their hands, beauty and creativity to their hearts, and in all this, virtue to their wills and sanctity to their souls.” To be my children’s primary educator means remembering Pope Pius XI’s wise words that, “Education consists essentially in preparing man for what he must be, and for what he must do here below, in order to attain the sublime end for which he was created.” In sum, it’s my job as a Christian mother to foster my children’s relationship with God so that they can: hear His voice calling them to their specific vocation, receive the graces to live it out well, and glorify Him through their lives as a preparation for their eternal reward with Him. Ultimately, it’s my job as a mother to raise my children to become saints.
With my vocation and essential duties at the forefront of our minds, Philip and I worked together last year to create our family mission statement. Here it is:
The Boucher Family is a domestic church whose mission is to know, love, and serve God. Our aim is to live intentionally as Jesus’ disciples, propel one another to sainthood, and joyfully share our love of God with others.
I still want to get our family mission statement on canvas to hang in our kitchen. Any suggestions on a great Etsy shop or artist?
With my vocation’s duties outlined and our family mission statement written, I set out to re-draft our family’s schedule. A lot has changed in one year! In order to do that, I re-examined what Holly Pierlot calls the “5 Ps.”
- Prayer
- Person
- Partner
- Parent
- Provider
Your Turn:
- What would you consider the essential duties of your vocation?
- If you had a family mission statement, what would it say?
- Are you fulfilling the essential duties of your vocation? If not, what practical changes can you make today?
- What is keeping you from fulfilling your essential duties?
- Are you preventing someone else from fulfilling his/her essential duties?
If you’re interested in creating your own Rule of Life, read A Mother’s Rule of Life and visit Holly Pierlot’s website for some great resources. I would LOVE to go through the 5 P’s with you!
![Don’t Throw Out Those Christmas Cards!]()
by Catherine | Jan 8, 2015 | The Homefront
Every year, I have an internal battle as the Christmas season draws to a close. What should I do with the Christmas cards? Do I keep them? Do I throw them out? If I keep them,what am I going to do with them? Even if I want to keep them, where am I going to keep them? Will I realistically look at them?
A few weeks ago, I was listening to the Jen Fulwiler radio show (podcast version since we don’t have Sirius.) She was talking about how she loves to make Christmas cards and mentioned that one of my favorite Catholic bloggers and super mama, Kathryn Whitaker at Team Whitaker, likes to keep her Christmas cards in a basket. Then, her family picks a card out of the basket each night and offers a prayer for that family.
What a great idea!
I love the thought of bringing all of those loved ones to prayer on a regular basis as a family. I didn’t love the idea of the basket, though.
- Little hands would rip the cards to smithereens within weeks.
- Where would I store it? Would it get dusty?
I came up with an alternative that worked for our family: a Christmas card binder.
Supplies:
- Your Christmas cards (I included our own on the last page)
- 1″ D-ring binder with clear cover for inserts if you’d like to put a cover page on it
- Cover page and spine title (See bottom of post)
- Cardstock (I chose black)
- Sheet protectors
- Double-sided tape (Tip: Buy the tape that you can put directly on your tape dispenser. I bought a 2-pack for the same price as one of those disposable dispensers. Working with your desktop dispenser will save you time, too.)
- Scissors for any trimming you need to do to get the cards to fit on the page
Then, simply tape the Christmas cards to your pages of cardstock, insert them into the sheet protectors, and you’ve got yourself a central hub for your loved one’s cards!
After putting all of the cards in to the binder, I whipped up a cover page. Here’s the JPEG file if you’d like to print it off for your binder, too:
I printed off the cover art and taped it to some green card stock. If I had been fancy, I would have used a larger sheet to fill the whole insert area but, meh.
I typed up a coordinating title for the binder spine in a red. Here’s the Google doc with that if you’d like it.
Then, I put the binder in its home in our little oratory. I put the binder here since it will be part of our family’s prayer life. In addition to pulling the binder out at family prayer time, I want any of us to be able to pull it off the shelf and flip through the pages whenever we’d like. As you can see, books are very, uh, loved in this house. I thought the binder would be a sturdier choice for this crew than a basket with loose cards!
Harry found the binder almost immediately. It was so sweet to watch him flip through the pages and light up as he saw all of the familiar faces. (Don’t mind his unzipped jammies. He thinks the keyhole look is the latest fashion.)
What do you do with all of the Christmas cards that you receive? I’d love to hear your ideas!
![Don't Throw Out Those Christmas Cards!]()
by Catherine | Jan 8, 2015 | The Homefront
Every year, I have an internal battle as the Christmas season draws to a close. What should I do with the Christmas cards? Do I keep them? Do I throw them out? If I keep them,what am I going to do with them? Even if I want to keep them, where am I going to keep them? Will I realistically look at them?
A few weeks ago, I was listening to the Jen Fulwiler radio show (podcast version since we don’t have Sirius.) She was talking about how she loves to make Christmas cards and mentioned that one of my favorite Catholic bloggers and super mama, Kathryn Whitaker at Team Whitaker, likes to keep her Christmas cards in a basket. Then, her family picks a card out of the basket each night and offers a prayer for that family.
What a great idea!
I love the thought of bringing all of those loved ones to prayer on a regular basis as a family. I didn’t love the idea of the basket, though.
- Little hands would rip the cards to smithereens within weeks.
- Where would I store it? Would it get dusty?
I came up with an alternative that worked for our family: a Christmas card binder.
Supplies:
- Your Christmas cards (I included our own on the last page)
- 1″ D-ring binder with clear cover for inserts if you’d like to put a cover page on it
- Cover page and spine title (See bottom of post)
- Cardstock (I chose black)
- Sheet protectors
- Double-sided tape (Tip: Buy the tape that you can put directly on your tape dispenser. I bought a 2-pack for the same price as one of those disposable dispensers. Working with your desktop dispenser will save you time, too.)
- Scissors for any trimming you need to do to get the cards to fit on the page
Then, simply tape the Christmas cards to your pages of cardstock, insert them into the sheet protectors, and you’ve got yourself a central hub for your loved one’s cards!
After putting all of the cards in to the binder, I whipped up a cover page. Here’s the JPEG file if you’d like to print it off for your binder, too:
I printed off the cover art and taped it to some green card stock. If I had been fancy, I would have used a larger sheet to fill the whole insert area but, meh.
I typed up a coordinating title for the binder spine in a red. Here’s the Google doc with that if you’d like it.
Then, I put the binder in its home in our little oratory. I put the binder here since it will be part of our family’s prayer life. In addition to pulling the binder out at family prayer time, I want any of us to be able to pull it off the shelf and flip through the pages whenever we’d like. As you can see, books are very, uh, loved in this house. I thought the binder would be a sturdier choice for this crew than a basket with loose cards!
Harry found the binder almost immediately. It was so sweet to watch him flip through the pages and light up as he saw all of the familiar faces. (Don’t mind his unzipped jammies. He thinks the keyhole look is the latest fashion.)
What do you do with all of the Christmas cards that you receive? I’d love to hear your ideas!
by Catherine | Oct 22, 2014 | The Homefront
Did/do you make baby books for your children? Or, are you like me?
I started a book for Jane before she was born, and I filled it with every last detail.
Then, I got pregnant with Walt when Jane was six months old.
To the back burner with you, baby books!
I finished Jane’s first year of life in scrapbooks, and I made it to nearly 6 months for Walt. After that, the books abruptly ended! Harry (gulp) doesn’t even HAVE one!
I continue to blog to keep archiving what we’re up to, I love looking through previous Facebook posts with their quotes or funny things that they’ve done, and we have an OBSCENE amount of digital photos.
Jane was asking about what it was like when I was teaching while pregnant with her. I told her we could look at her baby book. That turned into Walt wanting to look at his (lame, half-incomplete) baby book. They loooooooooooved it!
Good news: Walt didn’t even notice that his abruptly ended at six months. I know that will all change someday soon, so now is the time to act!
- Looking at baby books together at the kitchen table
Resolution: It’s time to get with the twenty-first century and actually come through with my promise to create digital photo books. The time-consuming baby books aren’t working anymore. It’s time to let go of what’s not working and embrace that digital photo books are better than none at all. Perhaps adding my own captions will help me to let go of self-imposed silly mommy guilt for not making baby books.
Shutterfly, I *WILL* be placing an order before Christmas! Just waiting for a great coupon to come along…
![Feeling Like a Sham]()
by Catherine | Aug 28, 2014 | Family, The Homefront
Do you ever have days (or weeks, months…) when you feel like a big sham? Everyone else seems to think that you’ve got it all together, but you feel like you can’t do anything right. I’ve been in “sham mode” for the past two weeks. “Sham mode” is when I feel like a huge fat failure at life.
Harry developed an ear infection a few weeks ago, and he took awhile to recover around his birthday. Just about the time Harry was feeling better, Jane and Walt started preschool. Then, they both came down with bad cases of preschool hangover. The exhaustion from adjusting to school made them extra whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny, impatient, irritable, and irrational. Early this week, Harry developed a high fever that lasted 24 hours, and I saw that he was starting to cut his top front teeth.
I like to think of myself as a loving mama, but there’s comes a time when this mama reaches a breaking point. The combination of whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny, irrational preschoolers and a sick and/or teething baby over the span of two weeks was too much.
Every evening after we got the kids to bed, I would tell Philip (often through tears) that I was struggling. I felt like a big failure for:
- Jane and Walt’s behavior (epic tantrums, ignoring me, fighting, etc.)
- Feeling more like a referee than a mom
- Not being able to console sick Harry
- Yelling at the kids more than I care to admit
- Getting way, way, way behind on housework because I was only putting out fires with the kids
- Being lousy company for Philip because I was so exhausted and grumpy
That’s what was going on when Julie Nelson sent me a message inviting me to come on the “Catholic Women Now!” radio show. When I read her message, I thought, “Oh, man, if she only knew what a train wreck things are like around here lately!” Nonetheless, Philip convinced me that I’m a great mom and that I had a lot to contribute on the show.
Unless you count the time I called call Rush Limbaugh at age 13 to chat it up about President Clinton, I had my big radio debut this morning. Oh my goodness, it was so much fun! I am so grateful to Julie for inviting me on the show, and I am so glad Philip convinced me to do it.
The kids were pulling out all the stops this morning to make me feel like a sham before I went on the air. Before leaving for Walt’s preschool dropoff, I noticed some new artwork on Jane’s bedroom wall.
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| Of course it’s in ballpoint pen and not pencil |
Apparently she was busy drawing behind her closed door when I thought she was getting dressed.
It was sprinkling outside this morning, so I put the kids in their new raincoats. I bought them a size too large in the hopes that they would last for two years. Walt wasn’t thrilled that he had to keep pushing the sleeves up and started sobbing. It was a serious production to get that kid to school!
Jane, Harry, and I got back to the house, cleaned up from breakfast, and got a few things done before my sister and precious goddaughter arrived to play with the kids. As my sister walked in, she pointed out that Monty had pooped in the living room.
“Uh…(looking over to the evidence on the floor)…yup! He sure did! Come on in!”
We played with the kids for awhile before I went on the air. As it turns out, today is the Memorial of St. Augustine (infamous wild child of St. Monica turned saint). While I was on hold, I listened to Julie and Chris talking about the power of a mother’s prayers and that our entire mission as mamas is to get our babies to heaven.
YES! YES! YES! That is why I am doing this stay-at-home mom thing. That is why I created the whole Happy Saints Reward System in the first place. That is why the crazy weeks of preschool hangovers and a sick/teething baby matter–they (can) make saints.
Mothering is tough stuff, and I’m the first to admit that I let it get the best of me these past two weeks. I allowed myself to feel invisible, unimportant, and like a doormat with the kids. I had stopped keeping the bar high for the kids, expected the worst behavior from them, they delivered, I got sick of fighting battles, they acted out more to get attention, and I’d usually yell in return. They needed a St. Monica instead of a Poor Me Mama these past two weeks. They needed a mama who would put her own pride and need for gold stars aside long enough to realize that she’s in the business of making saints.
The radio show seemed to go well, and I had a great conversation with Julie and Chris. Do you ever have moments when you’re talking but feel like the Holy Spirit is moving your lips? Everything clicked for me today while I was on the air, talking about how gaining a saint in heaven through miscarrying Thérèse propelled our family to take this becoming saints business seriously.
Something fantastic happened after I got off the radio show. I remembered that I was uniquely called and qualified to help them become the saints they’re supposed to be. I remembered to ask for help, and I said a little prayer before rejoining them. The rest of the day has gone well. I stuck a bunch of saint coins in my pocket, and I gave them to the kids as I caught them being good or helping with their responsibilities around the house. I used a calm voice to empathize and talk them through their frustrations. I was consistent in my discipline. I gave them specific praise. Heck, we even got the playdoh out after lunch! Today was gloriously peaceful and different than the past two weeks.
I know I’m a sham on my own, but He can change all of that. I write this blog and share advice when people ask for it, but I keep screwing up with the yelling, the impatience, the pity parties. My kids write on the walls and they have epic temper tantrums. As our pediatrician in Omaha loved to say, our kids “are developmentally appropriate,” and I need to remember that.
Raising our children to become saints won’t happen overnight, it’s not always pretty, and it certainly won’t happen so long as I demand perfection or forget that preschoolers are naturally irrational. So long as I keep sending myself to the confessional to admit that I’m clearly not able to do it alone, it’s not a sham.
“There but for the grace of God, go I.”
I’m only a sham when I forget Him and think, “I’ve got this.” I’m a sham when I abandon my personal prayer time out of being “too busy,” when I forget to punctuate the day with little prayers, when I don’t pray for the kids, when we don’t pray with the kids, when Philip and I don’t pray together, when I stop asking for the communion of saints to intercede for us, or when I say I’ve had enough of this “take up your cross and follow Me” stuff. He’s teaching me daily to see how Philip and the kids are precisely the souls I need to get me to heaven, and that I can somehow do the same for them. When I remember that, remember Him, and remember to carry the crosses as they come, I’m not a sham.
![Paint Chip Clothespin Color Matching Game]()
by Catherine | Aug 24, 2014 | The Homefront
I’m trying to build up an arsenal of fun, educational activities for what I affectionately call “pseudo-homeschooling.” Since Jane and Walt alternate the mornings that they’re at preschool, we’re spending some of our one-on-one time while Harry is napping doing school-esque stuff. The activities come in handy when I’m looking for things that will keep their hands and minds busy while I’m prepping or cleaning up from mealtime, too.
Yesterday morning, I put together this paint chip clothespin color matching game.
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| Yup, that’s my own picture and text overlaying the picture, folks. In addition to posing as a real crafter, I’m pretending I’m a fancy blogger, too! |
I got the idea for this game from Pinterest last year, and I finally put it together. It’s an easy craft and educational game for poser crafters like me.
To make the paint chip clothespin color match game, you’ll need:
- 2 sets of identical paint chip samples in varying shades. (I like the wide, 4-color samples in bold, rainbow colors.)
- Clothespins (I found mine at the Dollar Store)
- Scissors
- Gluestick
Easy-peasy instructions:
- Cut out a rectangular piece from each color sample
- Attach the color sample to the end of a clothespin with the gluestick
- Wait for glue to set
- Voila! Kids are ready to attach the clothespins to the corresponding samples
