by Catherine | Oct 21, 2014 | Marriage
Last Saturday, Philip and I had the opportunity to attend Hearts of Hope, a fundraiser for Midwest Heart Connection, an organization dedicated to supporting families with children that have congenital heart disease.
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| Unfortunately, the only picture I have from the evening is from the sports bar where we went after the event to watch the Husker game! GO BIG RED! Someday, I’ll become a good blogger and learn to photograph the things I write about. |
Our family became linked with Midwest Heart Connection when our nephew, Patrick, was born with pulmonary atresia and a VSD. Thanks to the dedicated staff at Omaha Children’s Hospital and the support of Midwest Heart Connection, Patrick continues to flourish and keep us all on our toes as a healthy young boy should! Like the rest of the children in this tearjerker video, Patrick’s heart is a work of art!
The evening started off with a cocktail hour and silent auction. As Philip and I made our way around the room, it became obvious that he knew the Children’s Hospital staff in attendance–and they remembered him. He was on the receiving end of a bunch of warm hugs, handshakes, and questions about what he has been up to since finishing residency. (As a pediatric resident in Omaha, most of his time was spent at the Children’s Hospital, so he got to know the staff very well.) It was endearing to hear the various doctors and nurses say how much they’ve missed him and tell him that they send as many Lincoln patients his way as they can.
As we approached our table for the evening, the young couple seated there immediately stood up. The wife beamed at Philip and gave him a big hug. The husband gave him a strong handshake. Philip introduced me to the couple, and the wife gave me a big hug. “Phil took care of our baby when she was born two-and-a-half years ago. We had no idea what was going to happen, and Phil took such great care of her. He really helped us to get through that time.” We had a great time visiting over dinner, and I learned that their little girl is doing great today. Throughout the rest of his residency, the family had several hospital stays. Whether or not their baby was his patient during their stay, Philip always made it a point to stop by and check in when he saw their name on the admission list.
At the end of the evening when we were saying goodbye, the wife gave me another bear hug. While Philip and the husband were exchanging goodbyes, she said to me, “I am so glad Phil is a pediatrician. His patients are so lucky to have him! He is going to make such a difference in all of those families’ lives.”
I put my hands on her shoulders and said, “Oh, you have no idea how much your words mean to me! Residency was a long haul, and there were several times when I thought, ‘Why are we doing this?!’ Tonight, after meeting you and your husband and hearing your story, I know that this is why we did it. Thank you so much for sharing your story and for telling me how much Philip means to your family. I know he loves his job, and getting to meet you has made all of the long hours so worth it.” I let them know that their daughter is in our prayers and told them to take good care.
As we left the parking lot, I squeezed Philip’s hand and told him, “I am so proud of you. Thank you for taking such good care of their family, and not just their precious baby. Tonight has made all of those crazy years of residency so worth it. Now, I’m so glad that you get to be a pediatrician. It’s so special that you get to walk families through all of the stages of their child’s development and care for the whole family along the way.”
He squeezed my hand back with a cute little tear in his eye, “Thank you. That means a lot to me.”
by Catherine | Oct 4, 2014 | Marriage
Have you ever known a jokester? I married one.
The good news: Philip makes me laugh everyday–usually several times.
The bad news: I never know when to take him seriously.
I warn Philip all the time that he can’t use his unique Philip brand of humor on people he just met. His M.O. is a special blend of dry humor, wit, sarcasm, and subtle delivery to catch his victim off guard. Few things please him more than making other people laugh until they cry.
Unfortunately, Philip forgets that people don’t receive humor the same way, they might be having a bad day, or that they might believe him when he’s just being a goof. Having been married to the guy for six and a half years, my default reaction to Philip’s humor is a laugh and a sarcastic, “Yeah, yeah. Ha, ha. C’mon, what really happened?”
This isn’t a problem unless Philip is being serious and trying to get my attention.
Last night, as I was bent over the sink washing my face after our fun date night, I felt Monty walk between the bathroom cabinets and my legs and lay on my feet. He was whimpering quietly.
“Hmmm, that’s weird,” I thought, slightly freaked out by feeling our dog lay on my feet while I washed my face.
Two seconds later, Philip came in the bedroom and said something I couldn’t understand over the faucet.
“What?” I asked, still blind to the world without my glasses and drying off my face.
As I put my glasses on, Philip said it again. “Monty brought a dead mouse into the house and onto our bed.”
“He WHAT?!“
Oh, Philip loved that!
Between laughs, he said, “Yeah, Monty brought a dead mouse into the house, and he put it on our bed.”
“Whatever,” I wasn’t taking the bait. “No, he didn’t. He’d never do that. He’s too afraid.”
Philip just pointed to the comforter. I couldn’t see where he was pointing over the footboard. This stubborn German refused to budge and investigate because I thought Philip was still pulling my leg.
“Yes, he did. Look!” Oh, he was loving it. “There is a dead mouse on our bed!”
After going back and forth for probably two minutes, I gave Philip my, “Fine, I don’t believe you, but I’ll look because this has gone on long enough” look, and I walked over to the bed.
And there it was.
I saw his tail first.
A little dead charcoal-colored mouse.
On our comforter.
I reacted how any red-blooded woman who loves her bedding would. “Get it OUT OF HERE! EWWWWW!”
I think that was Philip’s favorite part.
“Okay, let me go and get something. I’ll be right back. Keep Monty away from it.”
Monty didn’t need to be told to stay away from the dead mouse. He laid down on the ground by the bed and wouldn’t stop whimpering. It’s like he was saying, “Oh, Mama, I just thought I was bringing in a new playmate for us. I didn’t know he was DEAD! What have I done?!” I had visions of the mouse coming back to life and disappearing under a nightstand where we wouldn’t be able to find him until the next day.
Philip came back a minute later with the grill tongs covered by a Ziploc bag. Philip was brave until he made it to the doorway and the mouse’s weight shifted. Philip startled, thinking it had come back to life, let out a little shriek, and dropped the tongs to the floor. That was my turn to laugh!
I chased Philip downstairs and told him I had to get a picture of this moment before he disposed of the mouse.
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| My jokester hero husband and the dead mouse |
Every time we have an incident like this, I tell Philip that he needs to be less of a jokester because I never know when I’m supposed to believe him. Philip is like the Boy Who Cried ‘Wolf!’ He teases me so much that I never believe him when I’m supposed to take him seriously.
We still don’t know for sure whether Monty found his little friend outside or (shudder) inside. I don’t think our scaredy cat pup has it in him to kill a mouse, so that makes me think it was already dead and he just carried it in. I told Philip last night, “If Monty found that mouse inside and there are MICE IN OUR HOUSE, I’m checking out until they are gone. We’d have a grand old time at the Embassy Suites!” I’m only half kidding. I know that mice are normal this time of year as the weather gets cold and the little rodents seek warmth indoors, blah blah blah, but I don’t want ’em inside! It’s extra icky when you have a wee little babe like Harry who’s still crawling around and getting into everything. Blech.
I haven’t seen any signs of them, but, Lord, please don’t let there be mice in our home! Who’s the patron saint of rodent extermination? Google tells me it’s St. Martin de Porres. St. Martin de Porres, help a girl out!
![Book Review: Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning by Simcha Fisher]()
by Catherine | Aug 26, 2014 | Faith, Marriage
I first discovered Simcha Fisher over at the National Catholic Register, and I’ve been following her blog, “I Have to Sit Down,” for a few years. I’m always sharing her stuff on social media and insisting that everyone I know read her stuff, so I knew I’d love her book, The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning.
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Cover photo from Amazon
I love this cover! |
The book was published in October 2013, but I didn’t get around to buying the book and reading it until last week. I absolutely loved it! Now, I’m doing what I always do with Simcha’s writing, and I am insisting that you read The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning.
She had me at the intro:
NFP boosters tend to paint a rosy picture because it’s a hard sell, persuading people to turn their sex lives over to God. And so, not wanting to scare anyone off, they emphasize the benefits while glossing over the sacrifices that often come along as a matched set.
I understand why they do this. You’re not going to convert the masses by saying, ‘Hey, everybody! Who’s ready for some redemptive suffering?’ But so many couples launch into NFP expecting sunshine and buttercups and are horrified to discover, instead, the Cross.
Unprepared to make any changes, they end up resenting their spouses and the Church in general–or else they feel guilty and ashamed to be struggling, like there’s something wrong with them for not lovin’ every minute of it.
That’s who this book is for.
FINALLY!!! Thank you, Simcha! Thank you for your honesty, your wisdom, and especially for your humor. Thank you for admitting that NFP is hard and that it isn’t always glamorous. After reading your book, with all of its honesty about finding the Cross through NFP, you’d think I’d be looking for the quickest escape from NFP.
Yet, I walk away from The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning more determined than ever to keep sticking with it. The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning affirmed that: it’s normal for NFP to be hard, it takes most couples a lifetime to figure out this stuff (hooray for lifetime monogamy!), we are soooooooo not alone, prudence and generosity aren’t at odds after all, Love is always better than fairness, and that we’ve “chosen the better part” by dealing with the effects of sex head on in our marriage.
Six years in, we still don’t have this NFP or Theology of the Body stuff down. God willing, we will move forward day to day, month to month, and year to year, propelled with the sacramental graces of marriage to keep learning more about how our marital union reflects Love to the world.
In the meantime, we are grateful for the gift of our fertility and married life. Despite that, we’ll keep stumbling clumsily, we will undoubtedly hurt each other, and we will end up in the confessional like the couple on the cover. (Hopefully, for Father’s sake, we will be clothed!) Fortunately, as Fulton J. Sheen wrote, it takes Three to Get Married. Any problems in marriage will always be on us, and we get to turn to Him for strength, forgiveness, trust, perseverance, and the grace to do better tomorrow. He’ll make us into the spouses we are supposed to be if we let Him.
Thank you for this book, Simcha. I wish we had it to read during our engagement, and we plan on gifting it to married couples in the future!
![Book Review: Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning by Simcha Fisher]()
by Catherine | Aug 26, 2014 | Faith, Marriage
I first discovered Simcha Fisher over at the National Catholic Register, and I’ve been following her blog, “I Have to Sit Down,” for a few years. I’m always sharing her stuff on social media and insisting that everyone I know read her stuff, so I knew I’d love her book, The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning.
|
Cover photo from Amazon
I love this cover! |
The book was published in October 2013, but I didn’t get around to buying the book and reading it until last week. I absolutely loved it! Now, I’m doing what I always do with Simcha’s writing, and I am insisting that you read The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning.
She had me at the intro:
NFP boosters tend to paint a rosy picture because it’s a hard sell, persuading people to turn their sex lives over to God. And so, not wanting to scare anyone off, they emphasize the benefits while glossing over the sacrifices that often come along as a matched set.
I understand why they do this. You’re not going to convert the masses by saying, ‘Hey, everybody! Who’s ready for some redemptive suffering?’ But so many couples launch into NFP expecting sunshine and buttercups and are horrified to discover, instead, the Cross.
Unprepared to make any changes, they end up resenting their spouses and the Church in general–or else they feel guilty and ashamed to be struggling, like there’s something wrong with them for not lovin’ every minute of it.
That’s who this book is for.
FINALLY!!! Thank you, Simcha! Thank you for your honesty, your wisdom, and especially for your humor. Thank you for admitting that NFP is hard and that it isn’t always glamorous. After reading your book, with all of its honesty about finding the Cross through NFP, you’d think I’d be looking for the quickest escape from NFP.
Yet, I walk away from The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning more determined than ever to keep sticking with it. The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning affirmed that: it’s normal for NFP to be hard, it takes most couples a lifetime to figure out this stuff (hooray for lifetime monogamy!), we are soooooooo not alone, prudence and generosity aren’t at odds after all, Love is always better than fairness, and that we’ve “chosen the better part” by dealing with the effects of sex head on in our marriage.
Six years in, we still don’t have this NFP or Theology of the Body stuff down. God willing, we will move forward day to day, month to month, and year to year, propelled with the sacramental graces of marriage to keep learning more about how our marital union reflects Love to the world.
In the meantime, we are grateful for the gift of our fertility and married life. Despite that, we’ll keep stumbling clumsily, we will undoubtedly hurt each other, and we will end up in the confessional like the couple on the cover. (Hopefully, for Father’s sake, we will be clothed!) Fortunately, as Fulton J. Sheen wrote, it takes Three to Get Married. Any problems in marriage will always be on us, and we get to turn to Him for strength, forgiveness, trust, perseverance, and the grace to do better tomorrow. He’ll make us into the spouses we are supposed to be if we let Him.
Thank you for this book, Simcha. I wish we had it to read during our engagement, and we plan on gifting it to married couples in the future!
![Why Philip Does the Charting]()
by Catherine | Jul 23, 2014 | Marriage
Didja hear? It’s National NFP Awareness Week!
If the world of NFP is foreign to you, be sure and check out what the Church has to say about NFP. Mama Church knows what’s best for us, and the Church definitely knows what the gift of our fertility and sexuality is all about.
I wrote a post two years ago for NFP Awareness Week. In that post, I talked about what NFP is all about, mentioned the benefits, and shared some resources.
Today, I want to zero in on how Philip’s role in NFP (specifically with charting) has been a tremendous blessing for our marriage. Back in the fall of 2007 when we were going through marriage preparation, we started taking classes at the Pope Paul VI Institute in Omaha, Nebraska. (Looking back, it is UNREAL to me how darn lucky we were to be starting our marriage with Pope Paul VI Institute in our backyard. Nebraskans, most of us have no idea how lucky we are!)
What’s the Pope Paul VI Institute anyway?
The Pope Paul VI Institute, founded in 1985 by Thomas W. Hilgers, MD, is internationally recognized for its outstanding achievements in the field of natural fertility regulation and reproductive medicine — 30 years of scientific research and educational program development; allied health professional education programs for couples and professionals; professional, caring, and morally acceptable patient services. The Pope Paul VI Institute for the Study of Human Reproduction is building a culture of life in women’s health care through its major developments — Creighton Model FertilityCare System and NaProTechnology.
Amazing stuff, huh? Philip and I got to take NFP classes on site at Pope Paul VI with our own fertility care practitioner. We met one-on-one with our fertility care practitioner during our engagement and shortly after marriage to learn the ins and outs of the Creighton Model of NFP. I learned how to make accurate observations, and Philip learned how to become an accurate charter.
The gist of the Creighton Model is this:
- A woman’s natural cycle has periods of fertility and infertility
- Regular observations of the woman’s cervical mucus indicate whether the woman is fertile or infertile
- These observations help couples discern whether or not engaging in the marital act would help them in their goal to achieve or avoid a pregnancy
- In addition to identifying periods of fertility and infertility, charting (writing the most fertile observation of the day) over a period time can help to identify other gynecological health issues
Six months before our wedding, Philip started charting those observations. (We weren’t together until our wedding night, but I wanted to know how to make accurate observations, and Philip wanted to understand the charting. That way, we would know what my cycles looked like, seek any help if we needed it, and could better reach our discerned goal to achieve or avoid a pregnancy.
We weren’t living together before we got married, so we had to be very deliberate in making sure we charted at the end of each day. Before we hung up to say goodnight or Philip would head back to his apartment, he’d ask me, “What was your most fertile sign today?” I’d fill him in, and he’d put the info down on the chart. Then, we would talk about whether that day was likely a day of fertility or infertility to better understand what it all meant.
Philip was such a champ with the charting, and he had no qualms talking about cervical mucus. Gotta love a guy who can ask you straight-faced, “Sticky, tacky, or stretchy?” If you can talk about cervical mucus during your engagement, you can talk about anything! Our fertility care practitioner insisted that my job was to make the observations every time I used the restroom, and Philip’s job was to chart at the end of each day. I’m so glad she did, too, because it turns out having Philip chart makes a big difference in our success with NFP.
I didn’t know it then, but having Philip chart let me “off the hook” from playing the role of sex broker in our relationship. Every month, we would prayerfully discern whether or not we thought God was calling us to avoid or achieve a pregnancy. Keeping that goal in mind, we would have our charting conversation at the end of each day. If our goal was to avoid and it was a day of fertility, sex was off the table without me having to say so.
We have our monthly goal of achieving or avoiding in mind every time we have our nightly charting conversation. The conversation always goes like this:
Philip: What was your most fertile sign of the day?
Me: Fill in the blank with my most fertile sign.
Philip: (Writing down the observation on the chart and pointing out any irregularities/concerns with my cycle.)
Philip knows whether my observation indicates a window of fertility or infertility. Just sharing my observation lets him know whether or not being together that night would match up with our goal to achieve or avoid a pregnancy. If I were the one charting, I can see how I could become the sex broker. Philip wouldn’t be looking at the chart every night, so he’d probably lose a sense of where I am in my cycle. Instead of focusing on my fertility, the question would likely become, “So, can we be together tonight?” I’d be put in a position to say “yes” or “no” dependent on where I was in my cycle. Having to give the green or red light would have attached strings or guilt. I can see how that kind of relationship with NFP would likely lead to resentment of my fertility. With Philip charting, he’s in the know, and he sees the chart with me every night. He knows when I’m PMS-ing, when I’m menstruating, when I’m ovulating, and everything in between. With that information, he knows how to be as supportive as possible and what kinds of support will be best received. Together, Philip and I have uncovered information that we probably would not have without the gift of the Creighton Model in our marriage. We’ve learned that I struggle with PMS, I’ve had low progesterone, and my surging estrogen levels during ovulation make me break out like a teenager. Having these observations in a chart helped my OBGYN to intervene with progesterone supplements during pregnancy to prevent miscarriage, taught me to apply benzoyl peroxide big time before ovulation, and help Philip to *try* to be more patient and loving when I’m PMS-ing.
Having regular windows of abstinence when we are trying to space our children is a sacrifice at times, but it blesses us so much. It makes the times that we are together so much more meaningful, and it forces us to connect on different levels. When you’re going through the Creighton Model classes, you learn about “SPICE”–the different ways we can connect with each other:
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S
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represents Spiritual sharing, expressed through praying together or meditation. |
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P
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represents the Physical, expressed through closeness such as just being close to one another without genital contact. |
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I
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represents the Intellectual, expressed through sharing a project, a book or new learning. |
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C
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represents the Communicative/Creative and is expressed through an increase in written or verbal communication or other shared activities. |
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E
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represents the Emotional and can be expressed through sharing feelings, desires and humor. |
Our marriage is hardly perfect, but NFP helps us to regularly connect across the S-P-I-C-E spectrum. We pray together, we are able to be physically close without it having to result in sex, we are constantly learning new things together or trying new activities, we regularly exchange written messages or try to give words of affirmation, and we connect emotionally by regularly checking in with each other. With Philip charting, he’s in a better position to offer the different kinds of connections when I most need them. Likewise, I’m better able to connect with Philip across the spectrum, especially when we cannot be together.
That’s our story, but I also want to share some great things I’ve read to celebrate National NFP Awareness Week:
As always, please feel free to ask me any questions or share your comments! I talk about cervical mucus everyday, so I can talk about anything. 🙂
![6 Years Ago Today]()
by Catherine | Jun 11, 2014 | Marriage
6 years ago today, Philip and I were on our honeymoon in Rome. What a way to start a marriage, huh? Not only were we in Rome, but we were getting our marriage blessed by Pope Benedict XVI at a Wednesday audience in St. Peter’s Square. (I wrote another post about the day we received our papal blessing here.)
As we were seated for the papal blessing, we realized our Newman Center friends, Tim and Sara, were seated right next to us! Without knowing it, we had all decided to honeymoon in Rome at the same time and receive a papal blessing. 6 years later, we’re living in the same city, and Sara and I are in the same Catholic women’s Bible study.
I love looking back at the photos from our honeymoon, especially from the day of our papal blessing. I know our marriage was strengthened by the graces we received that day. How cool is it that we got to spend some of the first days of our new life together in Rome?! Oh, to be able to go back…and eat lots and lots of gelato.
Today, 6 years after our papal blessing, things are equally as adventurous and romantic! There is rarely a dull moment with our three little musketeers.
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| Today’s AM trip to Target |
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| My lunch dates |
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| Monty wanted to be in the shot |
It’s funny thinking about how much has changed since our honeymoon. Here are a few of our favorite pictures from the rest of the trip:
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| I wish I could tell you where they were from and where they were going, but those caged chickens were getting a papal blessing, too! |
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| In the Colosseum |
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| Making authentic Italian pizza in one of our favorite restaurants from the trip |
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| Trevi Fountain |
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| Another delicious dinner |
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| Selfie in front of the statue of Bruno |
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| I loved the Swiss Guards’s uniforms |
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| From our private tour of the Vatican Museum after hours. Let me tell ya…going through there with only a dozen people is an experience I won’t soon forget! |
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| This Sacred Heart School girl had to pay a visit to Mater |
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| We had to snap a picture of these Pope John Paul II suckers (now they would be saint suckers!) |
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| My hunk of a husband in front of the Colosseum |
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| St. Peter’s after our tour of the Vatican Museum |
When we were strolling around Rome hand-in-hand, Philip and I talked about the family we wanted to have. God blessed us big time with our beautiful kiddos, and our days are anything but ordinary! Life might not be as glamorous as nighttime strolls in Rome, but I’d pick our new life any day. Philip’s residency is *nearly* over, so it feels like our life as a normal family is just beginning. With a new city, a new house, and Philip’s new job, it’s like a second honeymoon. Who knows what the next 6 years will bring! God has taught us one thing: keep Him at the center of our marriage, and He will not be outdone in generosity.
