![The Year of Me]()
by Catherine | Apr 25, 2016 | Faith, Family, Marriage
So, I had a baby girl, she’s perfect, and she turned 4 weeks old today.
Dorothy Jo
There’s so much great blogging material I could choose from: birth photography, the birth story, the story behind Dorothy’s name, breastfeeding this time around, life on the home front with 4, marriage lessons in the newborn phase, etc. Today, I’m going to abandon all of that blogging fodder to write about MOI.
Back in December when I was brainstorming my New Year’s Resolutions, I decided that 2016 was going to be “The Year of Me.” (I got the idea from our friends who had declared that 2015 was “The Year of Us,” and opportunity for them to refocus their time and energy on strengthening their marriage.) I’ve stolen that theme and made it my own resolution for 2016.
As I near my 6-week follow-up appointment with my OBGYN, I’m revisiting “The Year of Me” with a whole new lens. With 4 kiddos ages 6 and under, it is becoming increasingly obvious that I need to start investing more in myself in order to give my family what they need. I’ve let myself get out of shape and out of touch with who I want to be. I’m treating the day of my 6-week follow-up appointment as my 2nd New Year. (I suppose I should call this afternoon to schedule it then, huh?) That means I have two weeks to figure out exactly how I’m going to put “The Year of Me” into action.
Here’s what I’m envisioning:
Exercise
- At least 3x/week guiltless workouts at the gym while the kids enjoy the childcare
- Daily walks with Monty
- Get MOVING with the kids and get our hearts pumping (at least 15 minutes in the AM and 15 minutes in the PM)
Nutrition
- Meal planning with Philip to reach our healthy target calorie intake each day (working on portion control and balance of different food groups)
- Food diary to keep me accountable, reveal bad habits, and help me learn about portion sizes & caloric values of various foods
Prayer/Spiritual Life
- Resume spiritual direction and monthly confession
- Daily Mass 1x/week
- Reintroduce my morning prayer routine when Dorothy has more of a schedule (Saying a Morning Offering before my feet hit the floor and listening to the daily readings while I nurse/pump/eat breakfast via the USCCB website is where I am for now, and that’s a-okay!)
Rest
- In bed by 10:00 Sunday – Thursday, by midnight Friday & Saturday
- Guiltless napping whenever needed (this is the first day I haven’t taken a nap since Dorothy was born)
Me Time
- Guilt free regularly scheduled sitter during the day a few days a week so that I can nap, run errands, read a book at a coffee shop, blog, exercise, etc.
Kids are stirring from their naps, but a few areas I didn’t touch on are marriage and friendship. I’m still pondering specific goals for these two areas, but I’m envisioning more regular contact and in-person visits with my friends as well as some new hobbies and ways to spend quality time with Philip.
That’s the plan for The Year of Me. What ideas would you include in your Year of You? Any feedback on how to reach my goals?
![Our Romantic Getaway]()
by Catherine | Jan 26, 2016 | Marriage
Philip and I had the most wonderful, relaxing, romantic getaway a few weeks ago! There are so many pictures and things to share. Let’s see if I can do my best to wrap up the trip in ten minutes with just my very favorite things…
We had our very first all-inclusive resort experience at Excellence Playa Mujeres. After our stay, I’d love to make this trip an annual tradition! I can’t recommend that resort highly enough! The accommodations, the food, the entertainment, the beachfront location, the hospitable staff…I could go on and on.
Our room was gorgeous and had a beautiful view of the ocean. We were greeted by these sweet swans when we checked in.
While unpacking, one of the bartenders from the poolside bar near our room brought us this cute coconut monkey with a mango mojito. Philip took one for the team and drank it for the two of us since this prego couldn’t!
What did we do while we were there? Mostly this.
The resort had these wonderful bed cabana things on the private beach. They were so comfortable and provided this pale lady with plenty of shade. When we weren’t at the beach, we lounged poolside, sipping our favorite drinks (mango mojitos and banana mamas) and reading.
We loved the food at the resort. Our favorite restaurants were the French and Indian spots. Although I couldn’t enjoy the alcohol of the all-inclusive experience, I most definitely DID enjoy the food! It was a prego’s dream!
We only left the resort once during our 5-day stay, and that was to go to Mass on Sunday morning. What a gift to be able to call up the concierge, find a Catholic church 15 minutes away, and get to attend Mass. The church, María Estrella del Mar, was a beautiful, beachfront open-air building surrounded only by glass on one side.
Before Mass began, the parish priest asked those in attendance if they could participate as readers. Philip read the 2nd Reading. The universality of the Church shone through when we realized that those in attendance represented many different countries, but we celebrate the same Mass throughout the world, so we were able to participate without hesitation with the same familiar prayers, gestures, and same Jesus in the Eucharist. What a gift!
After Mass, our taxi cab driver gave us a tour of the parish. As it turned out, our driver, Manuel, is a Catholic himself, and he knew a lot about the church. Here’s Manuel with Philip in front of a statue of Martín de Porres. (Manuel’s last name is Porres, too!)
In addition to driving his taxi, Manuel does some photography. He took us around the building and offered to take our pictures. Here we are in front of an image of Our Lady of Guadalupe.
Up the hill from the church is another beautiful open-air area dedicated to baptisms. All of the chairs and pews are made of a saline-resistant wood.
In addition to enjoying our time eating, drinking, and relaxing by the water, we: watched different evening entertainment each night (pop star show, fire show, opera singers, traditional Mexican singing/dancing) and indulged in our first couples massage. It was such a treat to get to lay on my belly since the table had a special area for my belly. I’m usually a stomach sleeper, so that was awesome!
We spent little pockets of time throughout our stay working through a “Family Board Meeting.” We got the idea from this podcast episode of Messy Parenting. A “Family Board Meeting” is simply a chance to get away with your spouse to discuss your family’s goals for the year and beyond. The three key parts of a Family Board Meeting are 3 A’s:
- Away
- Alone
- Affirm
It was so nice to be able to spend part of our time alone and away discussing our family’s goals for the year and beyond. Our favorite part of the meeting was how we ended our time at the resort. Before we checked out and got into the car to go to the airport, we brought some frozen drinks back to our room’s patio. Then, we did the “Affirm” part of the meeting–telling one another all of the things that we noticed and admired the other person doing in the past year that we want them to know we saw and appreciated. It was the perfect way to end our time at the resort.
With the exception of some rain on our first night, we had nearly perfect weather our entire stay. As we wrapped up our Family Board Meeting and headed to the airport, the storm clouds were rolling in. It made it a lot easier to leave paradise with storm clouds overhead!
When we got home, we were greeted by a plethora of crafts, pictures, and dictated cards from the kids. They were *very* well taken care of by their favorite sitters and gave us the play by play of all of the fun things they did when they woke up the next morning. It was wonderful to get away for a bit, but it was nice to be home again with the little ones!
We don’t know if the kids were more excited to see us or the souvenirs we brought them. Harry especially loves his wooden snake!
![The Diocese of Lincoln Presents: Date Night]()
by Catherine | Jul 19, 2015 | Faith, Family, Marriage
I’m thrilled to be sharing an upcoming event with all of you!
This year, the Diocese of Lincoln’s Office of Family Life and Evangelization began hosting a monthly “Date Night” for married and engaged couples. It’s a chance for us to get a night out on the town, eat some complimentary hors d’oeuvres, hear a great speaker, and meet others who are fighting the good fight.
This Friday, July 24th, our friends, Mary and Joe Mulka, are the guest speakers presenting at Date Night. Philip and I met Mary and Joe through our parish when we signed up for GodTeens. I think I died when I realized their names are MARY AND JOSEPH. Never again would I forget! Could they be any more adorable? They are a wonderful, faith-filled couple, and I hope you can come to hear their message.
Mary and Joe
The Mulka Family
This Friday’s Date Night topic is family prayer, and Mary and Joe will be talking about their own experience. It will be an opportunity for couples to hear how a real family is weaving prayer into the craziness of daily life. As Mary told me, their talk, “is based on our testimony and how we came to realize that prayer and communication is essential in marriage and then flows into our family life. It is more based on personal experience then theological information.”
I am so grateful to Mary and Joe for stepping out of their comfort zone to reach out and share a little glimpse into what trying to live out the faith looks like in their house. How cool that the Diocese is providing us an opportunity to get to be in the same room as so many like-minded couples who face the same day-to-day struggles and are persevering together!
Catholic author Matthew Kelly likes to call the Catholic laity (non-clergy) a “sleeping giant.” There are far more members of the Church that are not priests or religious brothers and sisters, and most of us are floundering in our call to live as intentional disciples of Jesus. As the sleeping giant, most of us don’t realize the power God is giving us to transform our culture through the gift of our vocation to marriage. All of us (not just the clergy and religious!) are called to sainthood.
Kudos to the Diocese of Lincoln’s Office of Family Life and Evangelization for creating this monthly Date Night to awaken the sleeping giant. Not only will we walk away with some practical advice and tools, but we’ll be reaffirmed knowing that we’re not alone. We’ll be encouraged to better live out our vocation of marriage in our unique, irreplaceable roles as husbands and fathers, wives and mothers.
If you haven’t already, pick up the phone and call your sitter for Friday. You won’t want to miss this one! We’ll see you at
Ploughshare Brewing Company (16th & “P”) at 7 p.m. for some fun and fellowship! If you can’t make this one (boooooooooooo!), the next scheduled Date Night is Friday, August 14. For more information, click
here.
![The 3rd “P” in Our Family’s Rule of Life: Partner]()
by Catherine | Jan 22, 2015 | Marriage
In case you’ve missed the previous three posts in the series, I’m revisiting our Family’s Rule of Life (based on Holly Pierlot’s book, A Mother’s Rule of Life). Basically, a Rule of Life is an examination of your vocation and its essential duties so that you can put them into a proper schedule. After my introduction post in the series, I jumped into what Holly Pierlot calls the “5 P’s”:
- Prayer
- Person
- Partner
- Parent
- Provider
I’ve already looked at Prayer and Person. Today, we’re moving on to the 3rd “P”: Partner. This post is all about how Philip and I are working to further nurture and strengthen our marriage.
One of my favorite pictures from our wedding day is this one:
During our nuptial Mass, our pastor gave us a crucifix that he blessed while we held it in our hands. He instructed us to hang the crucifix in a prominent place in our home as a reminder that our marriage is to mirror Christ’s love for His Church. Marriage, after all, is one of the sacraments of service. As Holly Pierlot wrote in A Mother’s Rule of Life, “The sacrament of marriage is meant to enable us to fulfill a mission–in this instance, a mission of service and love toward our spouse.” I love that our wise pastor reminded us of this sacred mission entrusted to us in the sacrament of marriage. When we live marriage well, we are channels of grace for our spouses and help them on their way to heaven.
In order to make sure that we remain channels of grace for one another, we are working on keeping these things in mind:
- Attribute only good motives to one another’s actions
- When faced with problems, treat it as “you and me vs. the problem” instead of “me vs. you”
- Before jumping in, ask ourselves, “Am I seeking my spouse’s good, or am I just trying to interfere?”
- Distinguish between emotions and facts (Remember my resolve to respond instead of react?)
- Sincerely desire to hear each other’s needs
- When disagreements arise: defer to the spouse who is the “expert” in the area, ask for outside advice when needed, and commit to both of us owning the decision
- Remember St. Pope John Paul II’s definition of love as “availability, acceptance, and help”
Date Night Selfie
I had some fun making a list of ways that I can show Philip how much I love him. I thought of ways I could help him other than regular housework, how I can show him that he is appreciated, ways I can make his life easier, and little things I can do to keep the spark going. Here are a few of the things I came up with:
- Put his favorite meals on the menu
- Leave little love notes in his workout bag, iPad case, or car sun visor
- Pack his lunches (he usually makes his own)
- Bake a special treat or a loaf of bread to go with dinner
- Take care of me like I did when we were dating (exercise, hair, makeup, etc.)
- Be attentive in conversation (eye contact, follow-up questions, put down all devices)
- Give him a warm homecoming (big hug and smooch, pause what I’m doing to welcome him home)
- Pray for him throughout the day
- Give him words of affirmation (general (that he’s a great dad, husband, son, doctor, friend, etc.) and specific (that he did a great job on a particular task, that I appreciate a specific personality trait, that he is handsome, funny, witty, romantic, etc.)
- Checking in on a regular basis to find out how we can further improve our intimate life
- Relinquish control and defer to Philip more often
- Take a more active role in planning our date nights
What are we doing on a regular basis to nurture our relationship?
- Regular time together after the kids go to bed (I stop doing housework after I close up the kitchen and we put kids to bed. We schedule pockets of time to work on projects throughout the week, but we largely set aside our evenings to be together.)
- Early bedtime to keep both of us rested (In bed at 9:30, lights out at 10)
- Family meeting every Sunday night to keep our week on track
- Scheduling an at-home date night during the week every week (sometimes it’s as simple as a glass of wine and cuddling on the couch)
- Regular date nights out of the house at least once a month
- Reading books about marriage together for our “bedtime book club” (we spend time reading before bed and will discuss what we’re reading)
- Couple prayer time before bed (Lately, we’ve been reading a reflection by Mother Angelica on one mystery of the Rosary, and Philip will lead us in praying a decade of the Rosary. Then, we’ll close with some spontaneous prayer.)
- Sharing a weekly holy hour (We alternate who goes each week while the other one stays home with the kids.)
- Working on the different areas of intimacy we learned during our engagement NFP training using the acronym SPICE
- Spiritual
- Physical
- Intellectual
- Communicative/Creative
- Emotional
- Finding regular opportunities to enrich our marriage. (We’re attending a Marriage Encounter retreat next month.)
- Scheduling time for each of us to have breaks, exercise, get out with friends, or work on a hobby
* * *
I am thrilled to share a fantastic resource with you! Remember how I’m a podcast junkie and especially love anything with Fr. John Riccardo? Well, my friends, Fr. Riccardo just launched a 5-week program at his parish in which he looks at the Biblical vision of marriage and family. I listened to Week 1 this morning as I worked on my morning jobs, and it was fantastic. (The sound cuts out in a few places, but the content is so rich that it’s worth fast forwarding through the spotty parts of the broadcast.) I’m going to ask Philip to listen to them with me as a mini marriage study. Perhaps you and your husband can do the same!
When I resume the series on our Family’s Rule of Life, we’ll look at the 4th “P”: Parent.
Questions for you:
How do you take care of your marriage? Have you let your marriage take a backseat to your children’s needs or the general busy-ness of life?
Make a list of all of the ways you can show your spouse that you love him/her. Try to do at least one of those things this week.
![The 3rd "P" in Our Family's Rule of Life: Partner]()
by Catherine | Jan 22, 2015 | Marriage
In case you’ve missed the previous three posts in the series, I’m revisiting our Family’s Rule of Life (based on Holly Pierlot’s book, A Mother’s Rule of Life). Basically, a Rule of Life is an examination of your vocation and its essential duties so that you can put them into a proper schedule. After my introduction post in the series, I jumped into what Holly Pierlot calls the “5 P’s”:
- Prayer
- Person
- Partner
- Parent
- Provider
I’ve already looked at Prayer and Person. Today, we’re moving on to the 3rd “P”: Partner. This post is all about how Philip and I are working to further nurture and strengthen our marriage.
One of my favorite pictures from our wedding day is this one:
During our nuptial Mass, our pastor gave us a crucifix that he blessed while we held it in our hands. He instructed us to hang the crucifix in a prominent place in our home as a reminder that our marriage is to mirror Christ’s love for His Church. Marriage, after all, is one of the sacraments of service. As Holly Pierlot wrote in A Mother’s Rule of Life, “The sacrament of marriage is meant to enable us to fulfill a mission–in this instance, a mission of service and love toward our spouse.” I love that our wise pastor reminded us of this sacred mission entrusted to us in the sacrament of marriage. When we live marriage well, we are channels of grace for our spouses and help them on their way to heaven.
In order to make sure that we remain channels of grace for one another, we are working on keeping these things in mind:
- Attribute only good motives to one another’s actions
- When faced with problems, treat it as “you and me vs. the problem” instead of “me vs. you”
- Before jumping in, ask ourselves, “Am I seeking my spouse’s good, or am I just trying to interfere?”
- Distinguish between emotions and facts (Remember my resolve to respond instead of react?)
- Sincerely desire to hear each other’s needs
- When disagreements arise: defer to the spouse who is the “expert” in the area, ask for outside advice when needed, and commit to both of us owning the decision
- Remember St. Pope John Paul II’s definition of love as “availability, acceptance, and help”
Date Night Selfie
I had some fun making a list of ways that I can show Philip how much I love him. I thought of ways I could help him other than regular housework, how I can show him that he is appreciated, ways I can make his life easier, and little things I can do to keep the spark going. Here are a few of the things I came up with:
- Put his favorite meals on the menu
- Leave little love notes in his workout bag, iPad case, or car sun visor
- Pack his lunches (he usually makes his own)
- Bake a special treat or a loaf of bread to go with dinner
- Take care of me like I did when we were dating (exercise, hair, makeup, etc.)
- Be attentive in conversation (eye contact, follow-up questions, put down all devices)
- Give him a warm homecoming (big hug and smooch, pause what I’m doing to welcome him home)
- Pray for him throughout the day
- Give him words of affirmation (general (that he’s a great dad, husband, son, doctor, friend, etc.) and specific (that he did a great job on a particular task, that I appreciate a specific personality trait, that he is handsome, funny, witty, romantic, etc.)
- Checking in on a regular basis to find out how we can further improve our intimate life
- Relinquish control and defer to Philip more often
- Take a more active role in planning our date nights
What are we doing on a regular basis to nurture our relationship?
- Regular time together after the kids go to bed (I stop doing housework after I close up the kitchen and we put kids to bed. We schedule pockets of time to work on projects throughout the week, but we largely set aside our evenings to be together.)
- Early bedtime to keep both of us rested (In bed at 9:30, lights out at 10)
- Family meeting every Sunday night to keep our week on track
- Scheduling an at-home date night during the week every week (sometimes it’s as simple as a glass of wine and cuddling on the couch)
- Regular date nights out of the house at least once a month
- Reading books about marriage together for our “bedtime book club” (we spend time reading before bed and will discuss what we’re reading)
- Couple prayer time before bed (Lately, we’ve been reading a reflection by Mother Angelica on one mystery of the Rosary, and Philip will lead us in praying a decade of the Rosary. Then, we’ll close with some spontaneous prayer.)
- Sharing a weekly holy hour (We alternate who goes each week while the other one stays home with the kids.)
- Working on the different areas of intimacy we learned during our engagement NFP training using the acronym SPICE
- Spiritual
- Physical
- Intellectual
- Communicative/Creative
- Emotional
- Finding regular opportunities to enrich our marriage. (We’re attending a Marriage Encounter retreat next month.)
- Scheduling time for each of us to have breaks, exercise, get out with friends, or work on a hobby
* * *
I am thrilled to share a fantastic resource with you! Remember how I’m a podcast junkie and especially love anything with Fr. John Riccardo? Well, my friends, Fr. Riccardo just launched a 5-week program at his parish in which he looks at the Biblical vision of marriage and family. I listened to Week 1 this morning as I worked on my morning jobs, and it was fantastic. (The sound cuts out in a few places, but the content is so rich that it’s worth fast forwarding through the spotty parts of the broadcast.) I’m going to ask Philip to listen to them with me as a mini marriage study. Perhaps you and your husband can do the same!
When I resume the series on our Family’s Rule of Life, we’ll look at the 4th “P”: Parent.
Questions for you:
How do you take care of your marriage? Have you let your marriage take a backseat to your children’s needs or the general busy-ness of life?
Make a list of all of the ways you can show your spouse that you love him/her. Try to do at least one of those things this week.
![7QT: Dinner Club for Underachievers]()
by Catherine | Jan 16, 2015 | Marriage
I tell ya, I have very few original ideas.
Introducing…
-1-
Last month, I was listening to a podcast of the Jennifer Fulwiler Show. Her friend and guest, Rachael, explained her twist on dinner club called “Dinner Club for Underachievers.” If you want to listen to the podcast and read more about my inspiration, click here.
Their Dinner Club for Underachievers looks like this:
- Couples take turn hosting the dinner club
- The hosts do not have to provide any food — they just provide drinks and paper plates and utensils
- Each guest brings a dish (appetizer, main course, or dessert)
- The guests don’t bring kids (but the host’s kids can stay there)
- We gather every other month
-2-
I told Philip about the podcast and explained the gist to him. Together, we decided to create our own Dinner Club for Underachievers. We loved the idea because it made the idea of a fancy schmancy dinner club so much more accessible for young couples–especially those with little ones at home. We wanted a regular opportunity to gather the couples we know for some food, drinks, and fun. While I have had several opportunities to make friends through the parish and play dates, Philip has had few opportunities outside of work. We thought this would be a great chance to get the couples together and give the guys a chance to get together without organizing something themselves. Maybe they’ll do that down the road!
-3-
We decided upon these general guidelines for our Dinner Club for Underachievers:
- The group will meet every odd month of the year
- Unless someone else wants to, we’re happy to continue hosting each time
- A sitter will help with our kids, and everyone else’s kids will stay home
- We’ll take care of a few appetizers, drinks, paper plates/plastic utensils
- Other couples are assigned an appetizer, entrée, side, or dessert (and are instructed how many servings to provide). We reminded them that it’s a Dinner Club for Underachievers, so they better not be slaving over their contribution in the kitchen.
-4-
As we set about creating our guest list, we decided it would *NOT* be an exclusive group. (If you’re reading this and you were inadvertently left off of the guest list, I apologize! You’re more than welcome to join us for the next one in March–really! The more the merrier!) So, that being said, we had a long list of guests that we invited, assuming that several would have a conflict or wouldn’t want to commit. We wanted to have a large group so that the party can still go on when life happens and a few couples have to bow out. As the guest on the Jennifer Fulwiler show said, sometimes they might end up with more sides than entrées because of last minute cancellations, but they always have plenty of food because of the large guest list. She said nobody complains if that happens because they’re mostly young couples with little kids. They’re so happy to be out of the house that they barely notice the food!
-5-
As it turns out, almost everyone we invited to our “Dinner Club for Underachievers” thought it sounded as fantastic as we did! The thought process seemed to be, “No kids? Uninterrupted adult conversation? Easy food contribution? SOLD!” Nearly everyone that we invited RSVP’d “yes,” so it’s gonna be a full house!
-6-
Since we’re only responsible for providing the plates/utensils, a few apps, and drinks, hosting isn’t nearly as stressful as it would be if we were making the whole meal like dinner club hosts usually do. This frees us up to make some fun drinks (stay tuned to find out what’s at the bar) and add little perks to the evening to make it more enjoyable for the guests.
-7-
Pray that the neighbors don’t call the police as our street is overtaken by cars. We’re just young people looking to have a good time with our friends! I’ll share pictures and other details after the event. Stay tuned…
To read more 7QT posts, head over to Kelly Mantoan’s hilarious blog, This Ain’t the Lyceum.
