![Lent 2016: It's Not the What; It's the How]()
by Catherine | Feb 9, 2016 | Faith, Family
With varying level of success each day, I’ve been praying this Novena to the Holy Spirit in preparation for Lent to help me discern what God is asking me as we prepare for Easter. Despite my inability to be faithful in praying it each day, it’s bearing a lot of spiritual fruit and helping me to realize that I need to change my approach to Lent 2016 compared to previous years. After a lot of prayer, reading Pope Francis’ book, The Name of God is Mercy, and listening to Fr. Mike Schmitz, my theme for Lent 2016 is: It’s Not the What; It’s the How.
Last Sunday, Fr. Mike Schmitz continued his fantastic homily series about work with, “Everybody’s Working: Not What, But How.” It was a very timely and on point reminder for me as a pregnant (33 weeks) stay-at-home mama with three littles that this is probably not the chapter of life to take on a bunch of Lenten mortifications; instead, I need to reexamine how I’m approaching this vocation and all of its daily duties.
With that in mind, I examined my vocation in light of the three words:
- Fast
- Pray
- Give
I’m sharing my Lenten game plan below in the hopes that it will hold me more accountable and that we can work on our HOWS together this Lent.
Here’s what I’m feeling called to do this year:
Fast
- From Digital Distraction: Make my smart phone a dumb phone. Delete e-mail, apps, and Internet. Only use the phone to call, text, listen to podcasts, and find directions or emergency information.
- From Exhaustion: Monday through Friday be in bed at 9:30, lights out at 10 p.m.
- From Groggy Morning Mommy: Get up half an hour before the kids Monday through Friday for quiet prayer time. (Get up an hour before the kids on mornings that Philip has to leave early so that I can shower, too.)
- From Hangry Mommy: Eat a high protein breakfast and mid-afternoon snack
- From TV with Philip: Limit ourselves to one hour one weeknight per week
Pray
- Attend Tuesday morning Mass
- Spiritually “adopt” a loved one and offer all of my Lenten sacrifices for him/her (especially the discomforts of pregnancy)
- Family Stations of the Cross in the family room after dinner on Thursdays (Fridays don’t work with our schedule this year)
- Lectio Divina (fancy term for praying with scripture) with the daily Gospel reading during morning prayer before kids wake up
Give
- Reading streak: Read-aloud time with the kids at least 10 minutes each day. (Sidenote: Our read-aloud time is bringing big blessings. Do yourself a favor, and check out The Read-Aloud Revival.)
- Family Sacrifice beans jar
- Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy: Starting this week and continuing throughout the Extraordinary Jubilee Year of Mercy, choose one of the corporal or spiritual works of mercy each week. Discuss this work of mercy as a family at dinner, sharing examples of how we lived or witnessed this work of mercy in action each day. Add images and words related to the corporal and spiritual works of mercy around our pantry door to create our family’s own “Holy Door” for the jubilee year. (Isn’t that door idea great? All of the credit goes to my friend, Allison!) The book Divine Mercy for Moms is going to be my manual.
- Lights Out Night: Select one weeknight each week of Lent to go without electricity from the time dinner is served until bed. Give each other focused attention for the evening. We’ve done this before, and I wrote about the experience here.
- Healthy Mama: Walk for 30 minutes 3 times a week.
What’s Your Lenten Game Plan?
That’s what I’m doing. What’s your Lenten game plan? I’d love to hear all about it! I don’t know about you, but I’m excited to start working on the how of my vocation instead of my usual what for Lent.
![Lent 2016: It’s Not the What; It’s the How]()
by Catherine | Feb 9, 2016 | Faith, Family
With varying level of success each day, I’ve been praying this Novena to the Holy Spirit in preparation for Lent to help me discern what God is asking me as we prepare for Easter. Despite my inability to be faithful in praying it each day, it’s bearing a lot of spiritual fruit and helping me to realize that I need to change my approach to Lent 2016 compared to previous years. After a lot of prayer, reading Pope Francis’ book, The Name of God is Mercy, and listening to Fr. Mike Schmitz, my theme for Lent 2016 is: It’s Not the What; It’s the How.
Last Sunday, Fr. Mike Schmitz continued his fantastic homily series about work with, “Everybody’s Working: Not What, But How.” It was a very timely and on point reminder for me as a pregnant (33 weeks) stay-at-home mama with three littles that this is probably not the chapter of life to take on a bunch of Lenten mortifications; instead, I need to reexamine how I’m approaching this vocation and all of its daily duties.
With that in mind, I examined my vocation in light of the three words:
- Fast
- Pray
- Give
I’m sharing my Lenten game plan below in the hopes that it will hold me more accountable and that we can work on our HOWS together this Lent.
Here’s what I’m feeling called to do this year:
Fast
- From Digital Distraction: Make my smart phone a dumb phone. Delete e-mail, apps, and Internet. Only use the phone to call, text, listen to podcasts, and find directions or emergency information.
- From Exhaustion: Monday through Friday be in bed at 9:30, lights out at 10 p.m.
- From Groggy Morning Mommy: Get up half an hour before the kids Monday through Friday for quiet prayer time. (Get up an hour before the kids on mornings that Philip has to leave early so that I can shower, too.)
- From Hangry Mommy: Eat a high protein breakfast and mid-afternoon snack
- From TV with Philip: Limit ourselves to one hour one weeknight per week
Pray
- Attend Tuesday morning Mass
- Spiritually “adopt” a loved one and offer all of my Lenten sacrifices for him/her (especially the discomforts of pregnancy)
- Family Stations of the Cross in the family room after dinner on Thursdays (Fridays don’t work with our schedule this year)
- Lectio Divina (fancy term for praying with scripture) with the daily Gospel reading during morning prayer before kids wake up
Give
- Reading streak: Read-aloud time with the kids at least 10 minutes each day. (Sidenote: Our read-aloud time is bringing big blessings. Do yourself a favor, and check out The Read-Aloud Revival.)
- Family Sacrifice beans jar
- Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy: Starting this week and continuing throughout the Extraordinary Jubilee Year of Mercy, choose one of the corporal or spiritual works of mercy each week. Discuss this work of mercy as a family at dinner, sharing examples of how we lived or witnessed this work of mercy in action each day. Add images and words related to the corporal and spiritual works of mercy around our pantry door to create our family’s own “Holy Door” for the jubilee year. (Isn’t that door idea great? All of the credit goes to my friend, Allison!) The book Divine Mercy for Moms is going to be my manual.
- Lights Out Night: Select one weeknight each week of Lent to go without electricity from the time dinner is served until bed. Give each other focused attention for the evening. We’ve done this before, and I wrote about the experience here.
- Healthy Mama: Walk for 30 minutes 3 times a week.
What’s Your Lenten Game Plan?
That’s what I’m doing. What’s your Lenten game plan? I’d love to hear all about it! I don’t know about you, but I’m excited to start working on the how of my vocation instead of my usual what for Lent.
![Jane’s 6th Birthday Party]()
by Catherine | Feb 6, 2016 | Family
Jane has always loved her birthday, so it came as no surprise when she started talking about her party master plan several months ago.
“Mom, this year, I’ve decided I want to have a poor party.”
“What’s a ‘poor party,’ honey?”
“Well, instead of presents, I want my friends to bring food for the poor, and then we’ll go around and deliver it to them.”
Yeah. I cried. That was SO not how I dreamed of my birthday party at six years old! My little kindergartener didn’t want presents; she wanted to use her special day to bless others. Between the hormones of pregnancy and all of the sweetness, I just couldn’t handle it!
We talked about how we could put her plan into action and have a little fun with her classmates at the same time. We decided we’d have a Friday evening pizza and cake party at the local indoor playground for Jane’s kindergarten class and their families. Instead of presents, we’d ask everyone to bring a donation for the food pantry to leave at the door. After pizza and cake, the parents could visit while the kids ran amok and burned off the sugar!
Jane was also very, very concerned that everyone got a special treat bag. She selected pink baggies with purple stickers that she signed. Since she has a birthday so close to Valentine’s Day, it’s easy to find her favorite candies with pink and purple wrappers. As a final touch, she got an assortment of holy cards of favorite saints/prayers from the Catholic bookstore in town, and she stuck one in each bag.
Walt was very happy to help with this project!
I’m slowly learning how to not be a perfectionist and let the kids do their own thing when they can. I’m very proud of Jane and Walt for doing this project together!
We arrived early at the indoor playground to set up the party room. The boys were happy to entertain themselves while we set things out.
The guests started arriving with all of their food donations and handmade cards for Jane. Is there anything more adorable than a handmade card from a kindergartener?! So sweet! Jane can’t wait to drop off the donations from her classmates at the food pantry.
First, the food:
Cheers!
Then, a magical moment: Mrs. C., Jane’s kindergarten teacher, entered the party scene! Oh my word, the shrieking and hugs from the little kindergarten girls! What an amazing woman to come on a FRIDAY NIGHT (at the end of a busy Catholic Schools Week, no less) to her student’s birthday party! We love you, Mrs. C.!
Jane and Mrs. C.
The cake and blowing out the candle with Harry’s help
Play time!
The playground has a carpeted indoor track (notice all of the “ONE WAY” signs?) for the kids to burn off steam around the play structure with wagons, trikes, and cozy coupes.
Harry did not struggle to keep up with the big kids
The kids gave high fives to the dads when they circled the bend
Harry *so* desperately wanted to be a part of the big kid action inside the play structure, but the employees kept telling him he was too little. Poor buddy! It didn’t stop him from sneaking in a few times, though.
Jane with her classmates (and a few siblings!)
Jane’s class (and a few siblings) with Mrs. C.
We probably had 25-30 kids and a dozen adults at the party. Everyone seemed to have a wonderful time and went home WORN OUT!
On the ride home, Jane declared, “This was the BEST BIRTHDAY PARTY EVER!” Music to this mama’s ears. Mission accomplished! Love you, Jane Louise!
![Jane's 6th Birthday Party]()
by Catherine | Feb 6, 2016 | Family
Jane has always loved her birthday, so it came as no surprise when she started talking about her party master plan several months ago.
“Mom, this year, I’ve decided I want to have a poor party.”
“What’s a ‘poor party,’ honey?”
“Well, instead of presents, I want my friends to bring food for the poor, and then we’ll go around and deliver it to them.”
Yeah. I cried. That was SO not how I dreamed of my birthday party at six years old! My little kindergartener didn’t want presents; she wanted to use her special day to bless others. Between the hormones of pregnancy and all of the sweetness, I just couldn’t handle it!
We talked about how we could put her plan into action and have a little fun with her classmates at the same time. We decided we’d have a Friday evening pizza and cake party at the local indoor playground for Jane’s kindergarten class and their families. Instead of presents, we’d ask everyone to bring a donation for the food pantry to leave at the door. After pizza and cake, the parents could visit while the kids ran amok and burned off the sugar!
Jane was also very, very concerned that everyone got a special treat bag. She selected pink baggies with purple stickers that she signed. Since she has a birthday so close to Valentine’s Day, it’s easy to find her favorite candies with pink and purple wrappers. As a final touch, she got an assortment of holy cards of favorite saints/prayers from the Catholic bookstore in town, and she stuck one in each bag.
Walt was very happy to help with this project!
I’m slowly learning how to not be a perfectionist and let the kids do their own thing when they can. I’m very proud of Jane and Walt for doing this project together!
We arrived early at the indoor playground to set up the party room. The boys were happy to entertain themselves while we set things out.
The guests started arriving with all of their food donations and handmade cards for Jane. Is there anything more adorable than a handmade card from a kindergartener?! So sweet! Jane can’t wait to drop off the donations from her classmates at the food pantry.
First, the food:
Cheers!
Then, a magical moment: Mrs. C., Jane’s kindergarten teacher, entered the party scene! Oh my word, the shrieking and hugs from the little kindergarten girls! What an amazing woman to come on a FRIDAY NIGHT (at the end of a busy Catholic Schools Week, no less) to her student’s birthday party! We love you, Mrs. C.!
Jane and Mrs. C.
The cake and blowing out the candle with Harry’s help
Play time!
The playground has a carpeted indoor track (notice all of the “ONE WAY” signs?) for the kids to burn off steam around the play structure with wagons, trikes, and cozy coupes.
Harry did not struggle to keep up with the big kids
The kids gave high fives to the dads when they circled the bend
Harry *so* desperately wanted to be a part of the big kid action inside the play structure, but the employees kept telling him he was too little. Poor buddy! It didn’t stop him from sneaking in a few times, though.
Jane with her classmates (and a few siblings!)
Jane’s class (and a few siblings) with Mrs. C.
We probably had 25-30 kids and a dozen adults at the party. Everyone seemed to have a wonderful time and went home WORN OUT!
On the ride home, Jane declared, “This was the BEST BIRTHDAY PARTY EVER!” Music to this mama’s ears. Mission accomplished! Love you, Jane Louise!
![Remembering Thérèse]()
by Catherine | Nov 29, 2015 | Faith, Family
November 5th marked the 3-year anniversary of the day our Baby Thérèse went to heaven. That day, we wanted to do a few special things to remember and honor our family’s little saint.
First, we took a family trip to the cemetery where Thérèse is buried. We arrived just as the sun was beginning to go down.
To our pleasant surprise, the cemetery had recently redone the area dedicated to babies. It was absolutely beautiful!
Before leaving their roses behind, each of the 3 kids gave Thérèse little updates on what’s new in their worlds. We’re not sure what Harry said, but his face was very animated, and he used a lot of hand gestures! Afterward, we said a few prayers together as a family.
Leaving their roses at the statue of St. Rachel weeping for her children.
We wanted to start a new tradition this year that would both honor Thérèse and celebrate life. We were inspired by our friends who have a similar tradition to honor their daughter. We looked at the birth records in the newspaper to find out who had the first baby girl born on November 5th. I asked my very talented friend Rakhi to create a beautiful custom print of a quote from St. Thérèse of Lisieux with a pink rose border. (Check out Rakhi’s Etsy shop, Signs of Love by RakstarDesigns!)
We put the print in a beautiful frame and mailed it to the family with a card assuring them of our prayers. I like to imagine the print in the baby’s nursery as a reminder that we have countless opportunities to love and serve each other. Hopefully Thérèse is somehow blessing that family the way she has blessed ours.
We love you and carry you with us everyday, Thérèse.
St. Thérèse, pray for us!
![When I Knew Spiritual Direction Was Making A Difference]()
by Catherine | Nov 9, 2015 | Faith, Family
After talking about it for years, I finally started getting serious about finding a spiritual director as part of my revised Mother’s Rule of Life for 2015. What’s a spiritual director? Simply put, a spiritual director helps his/her directee along their way toward sainthood. To learn more, read about spiritual direction here.
I wanted my spiritual director to be a priest so that we could start our monthly meetings with confession. In terms of personality, I wanted the priest to be:
- Faithful to Church Teaching
- Down to earth, relatable
- Knowledgeable about the vocation of marriage–its blessings, challenges, and everything in between
- Experienced with working with married people
- Willing to challenge me and ask the hard questions
In addition to praying, I asked good friends who know the priests in our diocese who they thought would be a good fit. Then, I created a short list of good and holy priests who might be willing to work with me. When I talk about experience with spiritual direction, people ask me how I “got him” (my spiritual director). I usually say, “I’m shameless. He didn’t know me. I just called and asked him.”
I knew our monthly meetings (we’ve been meeting for 9 months) were helping me to grow in sanctity, but I don’t think I knew exactly how big the changes were until the other week. I was talking with Philip on the phone when kindergartener Jane came up to me, touched my arm, and said out of the blue,
Philip was out of town for a long weekend at a medical conference, so I was distracted by our conversation and opportunity to chat for a few minutes on the phone. It wasn’t until I had put the kids to bed that night and had a quiet evening ahead of me that Jane’s words sank in.
“Mama, you don’t yell at us anymore.”
So simple. So direct. So matter of fact.
I don’t yell at the kids anymore.
Wait.
(Cue the tears.)
I don’t yell at the kids anymore!!!
It’s one thing when you start to notice yourself kicking yourself less for your parenting mistakes. It’s another when your little one tells you that you’ve kicked a vice in the butt. I don’t know about your kids, but mine are very honest about these kinds of things. Sometimes, they’re painfully honest.
That night, sitting on the couch, wiping away the tears as I realized Jane was right, I realized something else: spiritual direction was the reason why I wasn’t yelling anymore.
Before I started spiritual direction, I wasn’t very good about scheduling confession on a regular basis. With a monthly meeting for spiritual direction on the calendar, I had a guaranteed scheduled confession every month. This was exactly what I needed to start magnifying where I was struggling and work with Father on how to overcome (or at least wage a more convincing battle against) my sins. Yelling at the kids was one of those sins that I was embarrassed to keep bringing with me to my confessions month after month.
After confession, when we talked about whatever issues I wanted to bring up, I often shared how discouraged I was with how often I was losing my temper with the kids. Father is a great spiritual director for me because he allows me to see my sins, but he doesn’t allow me to beat myself up unnecessarily over them. He encourages me to fight against them, to struggle with them, but he reminds me that I can’t let the struggle ruin my joy.
“but he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
At our last meeting, we started with an opening prayer and confession as usual. Afterward, I told him that I’m seeing the fruits of spiritual direction in my day-to-day life. I shared the story of Jane telling me, “Mama, you don’t yell at us anymore.” As my confessor, he knows as well as I do that I still struggle with controlling my temper and restraining my tongue from discouraging the kids, but he also knows that it’s not happening with nearly the same frequency or severity. That’s the beauty of having a spiritual director who is also my confessor. He knows my struggles, he works alongside me to help me to see how I can do better, and he sees the difference the graces make in between our meetings. Perhaps the best part is the sweetness of finally getting to share a baby step victory toward conquering a big sin in my life. I can’t begin to explain how awesome it was to have him look at me with tears in his eyes and say, “I am so happy for you.”
Isn’t that what true Christian friendship is all about anyway? As Christians, we believe that love seeks the other’s good, and our ultimate good is eternal communion with God in heaven. With that definition in mind, imagine if all of our friendships were like a relationship with a spiritual director. A true friend is someone who can help you to acknowledge your imperfections, love you as they pull you up when you fall, and celebrate with you as you grow.
