![The Holy Fool]()
by Catherine | Apr 22, 2015 | Faith
Philip and I have been fans of the PBS show “Call the Midwife” since it started airing a few years ago. When I saw in the beginning credits that the show is based off of the memoirs of Jennifer Worth, I knew I’d love reading them. Last month, I finally got around to reading the first of Jennifer’s three books based on her years of service as a midwife in 1950’s London’s East End slums alongside the Anglican nuns she lived with in Nonnatus House.
Perhaps my favorite story from the memoirs is about Winnie and Ted. Winnie was a WWII widow and mother of 3. (Remember, this is 1950’s London.) To make ends meet, she worked in the paper shop where Ted was a frequent customer. He took a liking to her and starting sticking around longer than it took him to make his purchases. One day, they learned in conversation that they had both lost their spouses. Eventually, Ted asked Winnie out, and they began dating. Less than a year later, he proposed marriage. Winnie reluctantly accepted after deliberating about it for a week. She knew she wasn’t in love with Ted. He was much older and they didn’t have much chemistry. Nonetheless, she knew he was a kind man who would treat her well and would take good care of her children. Ted retired shortly thereafter, and Winnie continued her work at the paper shop part-time because she enjoyed it so much.
A few years later at 44, Winnie’s periods stopped, and she assumed she was beginning menopause. Six months later, she noticed she was putting on weight, and Ted found a hard lump in her stomach. He feared for the worst since he had lost his wife to cancer. Both were shocked to hear the news that Winnie was pregnant and likely near her due date.
“Perhaps it was buying the pram and little white sheets that affected Ted so profoundly. Overnight he changed from a bemused and bewildered elderly man to an intensely excited and fiercely proud father-to-be.”
In an era when fathers had little to nothing to do with labor and delivery, Ted was a gem. He read books on childbirth, assembled all of the necessary things for a home birth, and coached Win through labor. In addition, he played gracious hostess to Jennifer and the doctor by offering them meals or whatever they needed during the home birth.
Per protocol, Ted was not in the room during the actual delivery. Eventually, the much-anticipated little baby arrived, and Jenny noticed right away that he was black. Obviously, this meant that Ted was not the father. Everyone in the delivery room remained silent, wondering what on earth Ted was going to do or say. The doctor and Jenny finished the third stage and helped to clean up Win and the baby before inviting Ted into the bedroom. Winnie seemed to expect the worst. “I reckons as ‘ow we’d best get it over wiv.”
When Jenny told him that a beautiful baby boy had been born and that he could go up to see him, he bounded up the stairs like a child on Christmas morning. He went into the room, kissed Winnie and the baby, and proclaimed, “This is the proudest and happiest day of my life.” Everyone remained silent when he asked to hold the baby. They assumed he hadn’t yet realized that he wasn’t the father. Ted cradled the baby in his arms and examined all of his beautiful little features. “Then he looked up with a beatific smile, ‘Well, I don’t reckon to know much about babies, but I can see as how this is the most beautiful in the world. What’s we going to call him, luv?'” Winnie told Ted that he could name him, so Ted did what proud fathers of his era did–he gave that little baby his name. “We’ll call ‘I’m Edward, then. It’s a good ol’ family name. Me dad’s an’ granddad’s. He’s my son Ted.”
After leaving the three in the room, the doctor hypothesized that perhaps Ted hadn’t noticed that the baby was black because the pigmentation tends to darken over time. Yet, time went by, and Ted never seemed to notice. Winnie went back to work, and Ted took care of his son at home. Ted took him everywhere with him and proudly introduced him as “my son Ted.” Of course, neighbors and those they met gossiped about Ted Jr. and called Ted Sr. a fool. Jenny wrote that she had a different theory.
“In the Russian Orthodox Church there is the concept of the Holy Fool. It means someone who is a fool to the ways of the world, but wise to the ways of God.”
Jenny thinks that Ted knew from the instant he laid eyes on his son that he wasn’t the father. Yet, he knew what would be in store for that little boy if he hadn’t claimed him as his own. “Perhaps, as he held the baby, he realized that any such suggestion could shatter his whole happiness…Perhaps an angel’s voice told him that any questions were best left unasked and unanswered. And so he decided upon the most unexpected, and yet the simplest course of all. He chose to be such a Fool that he couldn’t see the obvious.”
Oh, my heart!
Isn’t that such a beautiful story? I once heard a priest say, “The best gift you can give your spouse is a bad memory.” That little nugget makes me think of Ted. He is the epitome of spousal mercy and unconditional love. There was no room for score-keeping or nagging or expectations for his spouse to please him. There was just love–and an abundance of it. He viewed himself as blessed to be married at all and happy to be father to the child who came to him, regardless of the circumstances.
Ted makes me think of St. Joseph. Like Ted, St. Joseph lived in an era unwilling to accept extra-marital relations. Both men could have easily abandoned their wives, leaving them and their pre-born children to fend for themselves and become social outcasts. Obviously, St. Joseph’s son was immaculately conceived as the Son of God and was NOT the product of an extra-marital affair, but I imagine they must have borne the same scorn from neighbors and town gossips. Yet, both men welcomed their sons with heroic love and generosity.
How many times have I been put into a situation when I could have played the Holy Fool, especially with my spouse? Do I allow my pride to cloud my judgement and insist on “winning”? Or, am I like Ted, taking the longview, realizing that a short-lived victory is made sour by the pain I’m inflicting on my loved one? How can I better play the Holy Fool in my day-to-day life? Do you have a story of a Holy Fool?
![Put It To Work 24]()
by Catherine | Apr 20, 2015 | Faith
Another Monday means another opportunity to swap prayer intentions and start “putting them to work” for one another!
Here are my prayer intentions for this week:
- For successful planning of our home Mass with our GodTeens
- For all of our priests and religious as they receive new assignments. That they may continue to find peace in their vocation as pilgrims for the sake of souls.
- For all of the parishes saying goodbye to beloved priests and religious. That they may remember not to find security in people but in God. That they may trust in God’s providence to give their parish exactly who they need at the helm–as pastors, assistant pastors, principals, teachers, etc.
Your turn! What prayer intentions can I “put to work” for you this week? As always, I will add them to my prayer journal and pray for you by name throughout the week–especially during my morning prayers. Please share your intentions in the comment box below, on the blog Facebook page, or send them to me via the blog contact form. Thank you in advance for your prayers.
Have a great week!
![Finding the Wheat]()
by Catherine | Apr 14, 2015 | Faith, Family
I met with my spiritual director yesterday.
(Quick commercial for spiritual direction: Spiritual direction is one of the best things I’ve ever done for my soul–and I’m only three months in. Really, party people, ya gotta get yourself a spiritual director. Do. It. Now. Spend some solid knee time praying about it. Until you find a good and holy spiritual director, consider making your own Board of Spiritual Directors. Between my board and my monthly meetings with Father, I’ve never felt more encouraged and motivated to keep on keepin’ on with the path to holiness. If you have no idea what spiritual direction is all about, start here.)
I went to confession during Holy Week, so I didn’t feel the need to confess during our meeting, but I said that I would like to start our meetings with the sacrament of confession each month. That way, Father will be better equipped to guide me toward holiness as my spiritual director and confessor. Before we ended our meeting, I asked him what he thinks a good confession looks like and what a good examination of conscience looks like. Today, I want to share one piece of advice Father had about a good examination of conscience.
Before I met with Father yesterday, I thought an examination was simply a review of where I went wrong morally since my last confession. Often, before someone goes to confession, they will find a guided examination of conscience that lists possible violations of the Ten Commandments as a guide. (Here is a list of different examples of formal examinations of conscience from the USCCB.)
Father encouraged me to look at an examination of conscience differently. I had said that I wanted to do a better job of including my examination of conscience in my evening prayers. I was looking for some insights as to what a good examination looked like. The Type-A part of me wanted him to hand me a book or a favorite printed off copy of a detailed examination. Nope, not with Father. That’s why he’s a good spiritual director for me!
“I want you to ask yourself, ‘What did I do well today?’ And you have to do it before you move on to asking, ‘What didn’t I do well?’ whether it’s through omission or action. And I would say it has to be 2 positives to 1 negative. And I know it doesn’t always work out like that, but you should aim for that.”
Dang.
He was peering into my soul.
At the end of the day, I’m a pro at zeroing in on all of my mommy failures or bad wife moments. I think back to the moments when I yelled, I used a harsh tone, I got impatient, …the list goes on and on. It’s easy to avoid examining my conscience because I’m so good at knowing exactly where I went wrong–to the nth degree! Most nights, I’m so tired that the last thing I want to do before going to sleep is do a play-by-play of all of my mistakes. It’s a discouraging way to end the day.
Father knows that I need to learn to find the wheat among the weeds in my life, especially within myself. I am so good at allowing the devil to do what he does best. I let him accuse me of all of my failings and buy into the lies that I’m not good enough at this vocation that God has called me to.
Father’s simple advice revealed an important fact that I tend to forget: a good examination of conscience isn’t just about the bad. It’s about all of it–the good, the bad, and the ugly.
- It’s about finding the patterns of sin. Why did I lose my temper? What changes do I need to make?
- Then, it’s about prayerfully turning them over to the Lord without shame.
- It’s accepting that I’m a work in progress. In statu viae
- Then, it’s being vulnerable and open enough to ask God for the graces to overcome those patterns of sin.
- Finally, it’s doing the thing that I struggle with most: Finding the wheat among the weeds in my soul. God must love it when His children thank Him for helping them to get better at something they’re struggling with. It can be as simple as, “Hey, I didn’t yell when I normally would have! Thank You!”
I thought it’d be fun to do a pictorial search for the wheat while the kids are napping. Here’s what the kitchen is looking like right now, completely un-edited for your eyes:
4/14 Naptime Examination
Since I usually struggle with finding the wheat around this time of day (“the witching hour”), I thought it’d be fun to snap a quick pic of the chaos that is today. Then, I thought I’d sit down with the picture in front of me and find the wheat amongst the weeds–the good stuff that has happened and the good stuff I’m reminded of in this picture. (I’ll spare you from the weeds because, well, you can already see some of ’em, and most of it is for me to sort out with God tonight before bed.)
Today’s wheat:
- I started my day with quiet prayer time and coffee
- I prioritized my health by exercising (Hooray for Nike Fitness Club with a new Spotify playlist)
- Well-Read Mom book club with a group of beautiful, faith-filled women and their children (Book still on the counter)
- Philip went to SAM’s with Harry while Walt was at preschool and Jane & I were at book club (Represented by the fruit basket)
- Big smooches from Philip when we got home for lunch (And big giggles from the peanut gallery watching us!)
- I got down to her level and took the time to hear all of the intricate details of Jane’s picture. “I drew it for you, Mama!” (The pink piece of paper left on the counter)
- An empty cake carrier to be washed after all of the carrot cake goodness from Easter
- A bag with a few new exercise tops & bottoms from Walmart
- The beautiful blooming tree outside the kitchen window
- A nice phone call from my aunt
- A basket full of kids’ clothes to be folded (mostly from their adventures in our muddy backyard from last week)
- A fellow “Godparent” (another mom in our parish who has a GodTeens group) generously dropped off a few things to help us with our upcoming home Mass
- Dinner is already cookin’ (represented by the crockpot)
Instead of focusing solely on the weeds-a-plenty (and, as I’ve already established, I’m good at finding the weeds), I’m starting to work on finding the wheat in the middle of my day. Thank You, Lord, for all of the abundant wheat. We’ll chat about the weeds later tonight. The good news is I’ll be less discouraged because I’m seeing the ways that You are working to cultivate the wheat within me and our family in spite of my weeds.
“Let both of them grow together until the harvest; and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Collect the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.”
(Matthew 13:30)
What’s your wheat today?
![Put It To Work 23]()
by Catherine | Apr 13, 2015 | Faith
Another Monday means another opportunity to swap prayer intentions and start “putting them to work” for one another!
Here are my prayer intentions for this week:
- For abundant blessings on the UNL Newman Center’s new church, St. Thomas Aquinas, and for God to continue showing His Divine Mercy to our city’s youth
- For today’s meeting with my spiritual director, and for God to continue blessing my spiritual director’s priesthood
- For wisdom in discerning God’s will
Your turn! What prayer intentions can I “put to work” for you this week? As always, I will add them to my prayer journal and pray for you by name throughout the week–especially tonight at my holy hour. Please share your intentions in the comment box below, on the blog Facebook page, or send them to me via the blog contact form. Thank you in advance for your prayers.
Have a great week!
![Today's Gospel Reflection]()
by Catherine | Apr 12, 2015 | Faith
Today’s Gospel: John 20:19-31
Each year, I find myself identifying more and more with Thomas. The guy was terrified out of his mind, fearing for his life from the Jews who were out to kill Jesus’ disciples. As far as Thomas was concerned, Jesus, the man who he had given up his life for, was still dead. Thomas wasn’t there the previous week in the upper room when Jesus appeared to the disciples and gave them the power to forgive sins. In his mind, Jesus was dead, and the other disciples had gone mad. “Unless I see in his hands the print of the nails, and place my finger in the mark of the nails, and place my hand in his side, I will not believe,” he told them.
Do you know what today is? Today is… [Read the rest at CatholicMom]
![Today’s Gospel Reflection]()
by Catherine | Apr 12, 2015 | Faith
Today’s Gospel: John 20:19-31
Each year, I find myself identifying more and more with Thomas. The guy was terrified out of his mind, fearing for his life from the Jews who were out to kill Jesus’ disciples. As far as Thomas was concerned, Jesus, the man who he had given up his life for, was still dead. Thomas wasn’t there the previous week in the upper room when Jesus appeared to the disciples and gave them the power to forgive sins. In his mind, Jesus was dead, and the other disciples had gone mad. “Unless I see in his hands the print of the nails, and place my finger in the mark of the nails, and place my hand in his side, I will not believe,” he told them.
Do you know what today is? Today is… [Read the rest at CatholicMom]
