![The Diocese of Lincoln Presents: Date Night]()
by Catherine | Jul 19, 2015 | Faith, Family, Marriage
I’m thrilled to be sharing an upcoming event with all of you!
This year, the Diocese of Lincoln’s Office of Family Life and Evangelization began hosting a monthly “Date Night” for married and engaged couples. It’s a chance for us to get a night out on the town, eat some complimentary hors d’oeuvres, hear a great speaker, and meet others who are fighting the good fight.
This Friday, July 24th, our friends, Mary and Joe Mulka, are the guest speakers presenting at Date Night. Philip and I met Mary and Joe through our parish when we signed up for GodTeens. I think I died when I realized their names are MARY AND JOSEPH. Never again would I forget! Could they be any more adorable? They are a wonderful, faith-filled couple, and I hope you can come to hear their message.
Mary and Joe
The Mulka Family
This Friday’s Date Night topic is family prayer, and Mary and Joe will be talking about their own experience. It will be an opportunity for couples to hear how a real family is weaving prayer into the craziness of daily life. As Mary told me, their talk, “is based on our testimony and how we came to realize that prayer and communication is essential in marriage and then flows into our family life. It is more based on personal experience then theological information.”
I am so grateful to Mary and Joe for stepping out of their comfort zone to reach out and share a little glimpse into what trying to live out the faith looks like in their house. How cool that the Diocese is providing us an opportunity to get to be in the same room as so many like-minded couples who face the same day-to-day struggles and are persevering together!
Catholic author Matthew Kelly likes to call the Catholic laity (non-clergy) a “sleeping giant.” There are far more members of the Church that are not priests or religious brothers and sisters, and most of us are floundering in our call to live as intentional disciples of Jesus. As the sleeping giant, most of us don’t realize the power God is giving us to transform our culture through the gift of our vocation to marriage. All of us (not just the clergy and religious!) are called to sainthood.
Kudos to the Diocese of Lincoln’s Office of Family Life and Evangelization for creating this monthly Date Night to awaken the sleeping giant. Not only will we walk away with some practical advice and tools, but we’ll be reaffirmed knowing that we’re not alone. We’ll be encouraged to better live out our vocation of marriage in our unique, irreplaceable roles as husbands and fathers, wives and mothers.
If you haven’t already, pick up the phone and call your sitter for Friday. You won’t want to miss this one! We’ll see you at
Ploughshare Brewing Company (16th & “P”) at 7 p.m. for some fun and fellowship! If you can’t make this one (boooooooooooo!), the next scheduled Date Night is Friday, August 14. For more information, click
here.
![My Edel Recap]()
by Catherine | Jul 17, 2015 | Faith
Plenty of other “real” bloggers have already given their beautiful recaps of the Edel Gathering. You should read some of my favorites for a better picture of what the weekend was all about:
Since I’m just a fake blogger, I’ll spare you the rest of the play-by-play of the weekend. Besides, getting there was half the fun! Instead of a summary, I thought I’d share some of my favorite moments and takeaways.
Friday’s live radio broadcast of the Jennifer Fulwiler show
- Jen Fulwiler and Hallie Lord are just awesome. It was so much fun to watch her in her element, talking with the show guests and broadcasting right in front of my eyes. I am so grateful for her and Hallie Lord’s “YES!” to God when He asked them to create Edel. What a dynamic duo!
Hallie and Jen during their live radio broadcast
- Hallie Lord talked about being reckless vs. living life according to God’s will while hosting a women’s conference on her due date.
- “God is not reckless…discern His will…When God calls you to do something hard, you get signal graces, but He doesn’t take away the burden or the cross; He sends people to help carry it. God can give us the strength to do things ourselves, but sometimes He forces community upon us.” I’ve been prayerfully discerning doing something that my spiritual director is helping me to work through. In our discussion about discerning God’s will, he said I can’t let my analysis paralysis stop me from hearing what God is asking of me. Instead, I need to keep making decisions, knowing that sometimes they might be the wrong one. With all of this in mind, I heard Hallie say, “If I discern that i made the wrong decision, God is still there.” YES!!! I don’t think she had any idea how much those simple words blessed me. I allow fear to stop or paralyze me so much instead of just saying, “Here I am, Lord. I might make mistakes, but I’m trusting that You’ll be here to get me back to where You want me to be.”
- Listening to Mary Lenaburg, one of my favorite bloggers from Passionate Perseverance, talking about her family’s trip to Lourdes
- For the first seven years of her daughter Courtney’s life, Mary said she “tried to fix her.” “At Lourdes,” Mary shared, “God gave my husband and I the word ‘acceptance.'” I don’t think there was a dry eye in the place. When I finally met her later that weekend, I had to give her a huge hug and thank her for sharing Courtney’s story with us. Mary is one of the most beautiful souls I’ve ever encountered.
Catching up with my college gal pal and dear friend, Amanda Teixeira, at the crazy shoe cocktail party
- After we had caught up, it struck me that the girls we were in college probably wouldn’t recognize the women we are today. As I told Amanda, I loved the Amanda I knew in college, but I’m so glad to see today’s Amanda–the best version of Amanda I’ve ever seen. Watching a longtime friend journey from heartache and despair to a place of genuine peace and contentment is a beautiful thing to behold!
Saturday morning’s stroll through the farmer’s market with Amanda
Saturday afternoon’s talks:
- Haley Stewart: “You can’t believe the lie that you are alone here.”
- Instantly, my brain made the connection from this quote to an interview I had just listened to on the Fountains of Carrots podcast with Auntie Leila. Auntie Leila was talking about the deep loneliness and isolation she felt during the early years of motherhood. As only Auntie Leila can, she shared how she looks back at that time as a blessing. “Sometimes I look back and I think, in a way, the loneliness that I experienced was good for me because it helped me to be friends with the lonely Jesus.”
- I love that. The lonely Jesus. The Jesus all by Himself in the Garden of Gethsemane. The Jesus denied and abandoned by His friends. The Jesus unrecognizable on the road to Emmaus. Jesus knows what it is to feel alone. He doesn’t want it for us, and He is with us in it. He sends us community to get us through the journey. “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18). We need each other, and Edel is all about helping us to realize that there’s a real, tangible body of people who are right in the trenches with us.
Haley Stewart
- Another gem from Hallie Lord: “Stop living in the wreckage of the future.” I think I wrote down everything Hallie said over the weekend. So. Much. Wisdom. I need to stop imagining the worst for everything and just surrendering to the moment, to whatever God is asking of me right now.
- Rachel Balducci of Testosterhome‘s talk on motherhood. A few of my favorite pearls:
- “You are a flawed human being with human children.” Yup. Why do I forget that?
- “The devil was doing a great job…’nobody’s kids are as crazy as this.'” I thought I was the only one who had those thoughts!
- “Make peace with the children God has given you and the chapter of life that you’re in.” Dang. I could chew on that one for a lifetime. Why did God give me exactly these children? What does this chapter of life require of me right now, and what do I need to let go of?
- Her mantra: “That doesn’t work for the family Balducci.” I’ve already started stealing that to be, “That doesn’t work for the family Boucher.” If it works for them, great, but it doesn’t work for us, and that’s okay.
- Realize that what God is doing in my soul at this moment He can’t do with anyone else. Don’t waste it!
- Cultivate humility to keep me low to the ground like a child so that I don’t have too fear to fall in my pride
Rachel Balducci
- Kelly Mantoan of This Ain’t The Lyceum‘s talk on how to rock motherhood:
- I have 2 choices: Accept the reality of my vocation OR see the daily tasks as shackles. (You know you’re hearing truth when you hear it like a dagger to the heart. “You hardened heart is what shackles you, not your daily tasks.”
- “If you can’t find joy where you are, you won’t find joy anywhere.”
- Fill in the blank: When Satan uses your _____________ (pick a vice: pride, anger, gluttony, etc.), you pray for ______________ (pick a virtue: humility, meekness, temperance, etc.).
- Perhaps the most quoted phrase from the weekend: “Blessing yourself is like punching satan in the face.”
Saturday evening Mass at St. John the Baptist Cathedral. I’ve got to share some pictures of the stained glass windows another time!
Saturday evening:
- Singer Audrey Assad’s talk. “Pruning is one of God’s love languages.”
- Watching a bunch of women dance and sing karaoke
- Delicious cosmos
- Getting to meet so many of my favorite people that I had previously only “known” online
- Meeting Jen Fulwiler, buying her a drink as a thank you for the weekend, and our chat. I thanked her for her ministry and said I am such a fan of her blog, her book, and her radio show. I said that I was the blogger from Nebraska who had stolen her friend Rachel’s idea to create a Dinner Club for Underachievers. “Oh! We were just talking about you today on the broadcast!” I think I peed my pants. (Again.) As it turned out, the foundress of Dinner Club for Underachievers, Rachael Escandon, was AT EDEL, and I met her a few minutes later. I was blown away by her graciousness and how easy she was to talk to. Jen Fulwiler, you’re a gem!
Nevermind that I was gross from not getting to shower or change into my formalwear. I GOT TO MEET JEN FULWILER!
- Meeting Rachael Escandon, foundress of the Dinner Club for Underachievers. Rachael was also the winner of the crazy shoe contest with her boots that had real chips and guacamole with tiny bottles of tequila. I want to go to HER dinner club! The girl must know how to throw a party!
- Meeting Hallie Lord
- I gushed and went on and on about how much I loved her blog, her book Sex, Style, and Substance, and her ebook to spice up your marriage. I thanked her for her “yes” to create Edel with Jen and for being such a source of blessing in my own life. I think I peed my pants (again) when she asked ME if we could take a selfie together and then I had to sheepishly ask if we could take one on my phone, too. What a doll!
Me & southern belle, Hallie. Someday I’ll bring a real camera places so that I can take good pictures!
My roomie for the weekend, Julie Nelson, who I now affectionately call “Auntie Julie”
- Jule co-hosts the radio show Catholic Women Now! with Chris Magruder. We “met” when Julie asked me to be a guest on the show to discuss our saint coin reward system. I was so excited to get to be her roomie for the weekend. Despite all of the time we spent together, Julie and I managed to go the entire weekend without taking a single picture.
- After the festivities Saturday night, Julie and I chatted until about 3 am!
- It was such a blessing to hear Julie’s wisdom and learn about her experience of raising a family while supporting her husband’s career as a physician. I felt like I had hit the jackpot with my very own personal mentor for the weekend!
- Gaining “Auntie Julie” as a friend is definitely one of my favorite memories of Edel
* * *
From beginning to end, Edel shattered all of my original expectations. I walked away from the weekend knowing that satan is lying when he tells me that I’m alone in this Catholic wife and mothering thing. Edel taught me that NOW is my time to figure out what God’s doing in my soul and what He wants me to do with it. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be with exactly the people who He sent me. No more surviving these years with young children; it’s time to thrive and encourage others along the way. I just need to get out of the way and listen to His movement in my life in the ordinary day-to-day.
He’s here, I’m listening, and I’m ready to start rebuking fear.
Here I am, Lord. Let’s do this thing!
![Put It To Work 35]()
by Catherine | Jul 14, 2015 | Faith
Sorry I’m a day late this time. I’m still transitioning back to real life since my return from Edel on Sunday night. (More on that soon!)
Another week means another opportunity to swap prayer intentions and start “putting them to work” for one another!
Here are my prayer intentions for this week:
- For those battling cancer and bravely enduring the treatments that go with it. That they may find their strength and peace in Christ.
- For parents of special needs children. That they receive the support they need from the rest of us.
- For our GodTeens and youth everywhere. That they may draw ever nearer to Christ this summer.
- For my father-in-law, Rick (aka “Papa”), as he celebrates his birthday this weekend. That he will have a year full of many blessings.
Your turn! What prayer intentions can I “put to work” for you this week? As always, I will add them to my prayer journal and pray for you by name throughout the week–especially during my morning prayers. Please share your intentions in the comment box below, on the blog Facebook page, or send them to me via the blog contact form. Thank you in advance for your prayers.
Have a great week!
![What Confession is Like]()
by Catherine | Jul 7, 2015 | Faith
“Gospel of Luke Chapter 15-7 (Bible Illustrations by Sweet Media)” by Distant Shores Media/Sweet Publishing. Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons
My non-Catholic friends will ask me, “What’s confession like?” Last week, I came across a story that comes pretty darn close to capturing the reality of confession.
Arthur Booth was arrested last Monday and appeared before Judge Mindy Glazer in bond court on Thursday. The Miami-Dade judge recognized Mr. Booth and asked him if he had attended Nautilus Junior High School. Instantly, Booth’s face changes from a smile to immense sorrow. He begins sobbing uncontrollably, pacing, and covering his face in shame, saying, “Oh my goodness, oh my goodness.” Instead of shaming Mr. Booth for his life of crime, Judge Glazer encouraged him.
“I’m sorry to see you there, I always wondered what happened to you sir,” Glazer said, as Booth continued crying. “This was the nicest kid in middle school, he was the best kid in middle school. I used to play football with him, all the kids, and look what has happened.”
“I am so sorry to see you there. Mr. Booth, I hope you are able to change your ways, good luck to you,” she said. “What’s sad is how old we’ve become. Good luck to you sir, I hope you are able to come out of this ok and just lead a lawful life.”
You can see video of the courtroom footage here.
I feel like Arthur Booth every time I go to confession. I think my sin makes me unrecognizable when I come face-to-face with the priest who is standing in persona Christi, as Christ. But I should know better. Christ is my Lord, my Maker. Of course He knows my face and my heart!
Judge Glazer knew Arthur Booth when they were in junior high.
Christ has known about me for all eternity. “I know you. I know the number of hairs on your head. I knit you in your mother’s womb. I know when you sit and when you stand. I know your words before you utter them. Come to Me, and trust in my Love.”
I’m reading Heather King’s Redeemed: Stumbling Toward God, Sanity, and the Peace That Passes All Understanding. I’m a quarter of the way in to this heartbreakingly honest and beautiful account of a woman’s journey from addiction to sobriety and peace in the arms of Mother Church. Heather shares an encounter she had with a tenderhearted Irish priest while on a weekend retreat. After meeting his glance, Heather reflects,
In a way, Christ is just the Person who sees you when you feel like you’re most invisible. In a way, Christ is just the Person who knows what’s in your heart before you do. In a way, I’d come to see later, Christ is just the Person who, when you look around and think you’re crazy, says: Don’t worry, you’re not.
Note: The book has a few questionable theological ideas, but the heart of the book is solid and good food for thought.
Ever since I was a little girl, I have preferred going to confession face-to-face instead of behind the screen. When I look into the priest’s eyes, I feel Christ looking at me with the same sorrow Judge Glazer must have felt for her classmate. He acknowledges my sins, but He reminds me with His loving glance that I have a future full of hope.
Like Mr. Booth, I must humbly receive my penance and fulfill it to make things right to the best of my ability. The severity of my penance and the words of the priest reflect the gravity of my sinfulness. Then, I pray aloud The Act of Contrition, a prayer that always reduces me to a blubbering mess.
O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of heaven, and the pains of hell;
but most of all because I have offended Thee, my God,
Who are all good and deserving of all my love. (Blubber, blubber, blubber.)
I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace,
to sin no more and avoid the near occasions of sin. Amen.
Then, the priest says the sweetest words I’ll hear this side of heaven:
God the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of your son, you have reconciled the world to yourself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins. Through the ministry of the church, may God grant you pardon and peace. And I absolve you of your sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Absolution doesn’t mean I’m “off the hook” the same way Judge Glazer’s mercy doesn’t mean Mr. Booth won’t have to serve time for his crimes. The confession draws to an end when the priest says the words,
Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good
And I reply,
His mercy endures forever
With that, the priest sends me on my way:
Go in peace!
And I’m off to do my penance.
Just as I leave the confessional with the reminder of God’s enduring mercy and the resolution to “sin no more and avoid the near occasion of sin,” Arthur Booth left the courtroom with Judge Glazer’s mercy and compassion. “Good luck to you sir, I hope you are able to come out of this ok and just lead a lawful life,” and Mr. Booth moves on to do his own penance. God willing, Judge Glazer’s mercy and the reminder of the man he dreamed he would be in junior high will help him to turn his life around just as God’s mercy helps me to avoid the sins that brought me to confession in the first place.
![Put It To Work 34]()
by Catherine | Jul 5, 2015 | Faith
Another Monday means another opportunity to swap prayer intentions and start “putting them to work” for one another!
Here are my prayer intentions for this week:
- For the repose of the soul of my uncle whose birthday was today
- For those struggling with addictions and depression and for those who love them
- For Philip’s mom, Janet, as we celebrate her birthday on Wednesday. In thanksgiving for her life and the gift she is to all of us!
- For safe travels and a fruitful weekend at The Edel Gathering with all of the other attendees
Your turn! What prayer intentions can I “put to work” for you this week? As always, I will add them to my prayer journal and pray for you by name throughout the week–especially during my morning prayers. Please share your intentions in the comment box below, on the blog Facebook page, or send them to me via the blog contact form. Thank you in advance for your prayers.
Have a great week!
![The God of Tomorrow]()
by Catherine | Jun 30, 2015 | Faith
I’m currently reading Elizabeth Scalia’s Strange Gods: Unmasking the Idols in Everyday Life. I’m about halfway through the book, and I must say, it has already been a big gut check for me. The book is an examination of the various “gods” we hold up for idolatry today. Sometimes they’re fairly obvious (wealth, sex, social media), but other times they are subtle. When they’re more subtle, they are more dangerous. After all, “subtle” (or “cunning,” depending on the translation) is the same descriptor used for the snake in Eden.
“Now the serpent was more subtle than any other wild creature that the Lord God had made.” Genesis 3:1
Scalia shared an interesting anecdote about how her husband created a god out of Forever with a hammock he received as a gift. He was so concerned about preserving the hammock that he brought it safely inside every time it looked like it was going to rain, and he carefully rehung it after the storm cleared. By mid-July, he would be so sick of the back and forth that he would leave it inside for the rest of the warm season. Perhaps, Scalia observed, it was a reflection of how her husband thought keeping something looking like new forever would prevent him from considering his own aging process.
“Forever comes with a catch though: my husband is so busy saving the hammock that its usefulness is lost to him. It’s like he doesn’t have a hammock at all. Forever, then, is a very empty idol.”
That got me thinking. Have I made a god of Forever? Are there things that I’m holding onto that I want to preserve from the aging process? The only thing that came to mind were the two bottles of bubble bath that never get used or the china and pieces of serving wear that rarely make an appearance out of the china hutch. When I was younger, I used to save brand new scrapbooking materials or clothes only for the perfect moment. Somewhere between junior high and parenthood, I abandoned the need to save things and started using them when they were necessary or helpful.
When we became parents, some things simply stopped getting used. I don’t use the bubble bath or china or serving pieces, but it isn’t out of a desire to preserve them. Simply, I’m in a chapter of life when I’m too lazy to hand wash the china or take a bubble bath when I have limited free time. I’d rather spend the precious free moments doing the things that I’d rather be doing–like blogging!
So, if I wasn’t making a god out of Forever, why did that hammock story resonate with me so much? I asked myself, “If I wouldn’t be upset with the things in my life getting destroyed, what would be the most catastrophic thing that could happen tomorrow?’
I instantly had my answer.
The most catastrophic thing would be not having Tomorrow. I give it a capital “T” because I’ve made Tomorrow a god.
I wouldn’t say that I’m always living for Tomorrow, but I do live as though Tomorrow is owed to me.
I’ll regularly think things like:
I’m going to play with the kids more Tomorrow.
I’m going to be more affectionate toward Philip Tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I’m going to call my grandparents.
I’m going to write a letter to our pastor thanking him for his homily Tomorrow.
Tomorrow would be a great day to start running.
What are we going to do Tomorrow?
I’m going to say “I’m sorry” to my friend Tomorrow.
What’s on my to-do list for Tomorrow?
I’m going to pray the Rosary Tomorrow.
I lean so far forward onto Tomorrow that I’m realizing I’m building my life on sand. Tomorrow is not owed to me. This isn’t supposed to be yet another one of those carpé diem cliché posts. It’s great to plan ahead, prioritize, blah blah blah. But I’m realizing that I am so dependent on Tomorrow happening that I would be devastated if it didn’t come. Every single day (hour, minute, moment) is chock full of opportunities to play with the kids more, be more affectionate, call my grandparents, write our pastor, start running, say “I’m sorry,” pray the Rosary, etc.
“Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.” – Benjamin Franklin
I don’t know if Benjamin Franklin actually said that, but it’s my reminder to stop making Tomorrow my god for today. Instead of allowing Tomorrow to be the focus of today, today needs to be my focus of today. (I know. Duh. But it was a lightbulb revelation for me.)
So, this is part of my morning prayer these days:
God, what are You asking me to do with the gift of today? What are the doors You are opening for me to go through? How are You asking me to be Christ’s Hands, Ears, Feet, Mouth to the people in my life? What needs to get done today that cannot wait until tomorrow? Please give me the wisdom to know what You want me to do and the ability to make Your Will be done. Please give me peace and wisdom when facing the things that can either wait until tomorrow or don’t need to be done at all. Make me Your good and faithful servant. Amen.
Have you made a god out of Forever? Tomorrow? How is your relationship with time looking lately?
