!["Circle Time" Bulletin Board]()
by Catherine | Jan 20, 2014 | Faith, Family
I finally put the finishing touches on our “circle time” bulletin board. As I mentioned previously, I’m “pseudo-homeschooling” Jane and Walt to help us find more of a schedule at home. Hands down, their favorite part of our new schedule is “circle time.” (I’ll be writing a post about our schedule and schedule chart later this week or early next week.)
During “circle time,” I lay out a blanket for everyone to sit on. I sit with my back to the bulletin board, and Jane and Walt face me. Here’s the board:
I’ll describe our routine with the board before showing you up-close pictures:
We sit “criss cross applesauce” and begin circle time with prayer. We say the “Morning Offering.” Just a few weeks into the month, Jane and Walt already know it!
After the Morning Offering, we pray for the Person of the Week. The Person of the Week is a friend, family member, or other person that we pray for Sunday-Saturday. We print off the person’s photo to go on the Person of the Week purple sheet, and we print off 3 intentions that we will pray for that week for that person. We try to contact the Person of the Week ahead of time to ask them for their intentions.
After prayer, we move on to the calendar. I ask for my “special helper” to help me. Jane and Walt alternate days. The “special helper” helps stick the day of the week, month of the year, date, and Saint of the Day to the calendar. We mention which mysteries of the Rosary we pray for that day of the week and look at the Happy Saints Liturgical Calendar to see what we are celebrating next Sunday at Mass. The special helper also puts the “Yesterday,” “Today,” and “Tomorrow” sticks in their appropriate pockets. We sing our “Days of the Week” song at this point. Then, we put the arrows on the appropriate month/season and talk about today’s weather.
At this point, my “special helper” goes back to their spot on the blanket, and we stand up for our morning stretches. We do 10 jumping jacks followed by a bunch of stretches.
So, how did I make it?
I used:
- 1 4′ x 3′ bulletin board (on clearance from an office supply store)
- 1 calendar kit from a teacher supply store
- Templates for Saints of the Day, Day of the Week pockets, “This Sunday Is”, etc. from Sanctus Simplicitus’ Liturgical Year Bulletin Board
- Velcro squares
- Laminator & laminating pockets
- Cardstock
- Brads to spin the arrows
- Laptop & printer to print off our prayers
The Month:
I used the teacher supply calendar board and “Today’s Date” box rather than the Sanctus Simplicitus Liturgical Year template. I attached velcro squares so that the kids could attach the day of the week, month of the year, and date. Then, I attached velcro squares to the empty calendar, and I attached the opposite side of the velcro square to the Saints of the Day. I printed these saints from the Sanctus Simplicitus blog. (This is a good time to mention that the blogger is a sedevacantist. This is a schismatic group that does not follow the current liturgical calendar. However, many of the materials on the blog are very beautiful and useful for circle time. You’ll just find some minor differences in the liturgical calendar, saints, and other places like the mysteries of the Rosary, so know that ahead of time.) I am trying to stay one month ahead with the Saints of the Day, and I make any revisions that are necessary to bring the saints up to date.
There is a tradition in the Church to have special devotions on each day of the week. (For example, Sunday is “Blessed Trinity,” Monday is “Souls in Purgatory,” Tuesday is “Holy Angels,” etc.) I used these pockets from the Sanctus Simplicitus blog to help the kids practice their days of the week. They put “Yesterday,” “Today,” and “Tomorrow” craft sticks in the appropriate pockets each day.
I took this picture before attaching our family member’s face to the purple person of the week paper. I attach an index card or small sheet of paper with that person’s weekly intentions on the green page. I put velcro squares on the Joyful Mysteries image (also found on Sanctus Simplicitus)
. I had to create my own Luminous Mysteries image because sedevacantists split from the Church before Blessed John Paul II introduced the Luminous Mysteries.
Weather and prayers:
I used the teacher supply materials for the weather and season portion of our circle time board. I simply laminated the card stock, laminated the arrows, and stuck brads into them so that the kids could point the arrows to the corresponding month/kind of weather/season.
Below our season and weather section are our daily prayers. I typed these up on my own. I created a “Morning Offering” and “The Angelus.” I want to start praying The Angelus with the children at noon or as close to it as possible. I love the 19th century painting called “The Angelus” of the French peasants pausing from their work to pray. Below those prayers is our Prayer to St. Joseph (our family’s patron saint for 2014). I imagine I’ll switch out some of these prayers as the children master them and are ready to move on to others.
Liturgical Calendar:
I wasn’t able to use the liturgical calendar from the other blog, but I did use the “This Sunday Is” template. I purchased and printed this adorable liturgical calendar from Happy Saints. It’s an e-poster that prints off on 8.5″ x 11″ paper. I laminated mine before attaching it to the bulletin board. I typed up what’s happening in the 2013-2014 liturgical calendar every Sunday, and I put those words (for example: “Ordinary Week 3”) in the “This Sunday is:” box. Here is that doc. I love having the liturgical calendar in visual format so that the kids have a better understanding of where we are in the calendar in relation to the seasons of Advent and Easter. They love the bright colors and kid-friendly pictures.
So, what do I do with all of the extra pieces? I have the pieces separated by kind in sandwich bags inside of a canvas tote. Maybe I’ll upgrade to a desktop hanging file system or something like that down the road. For now, the sandwich bags are getting the job done. Before we start circle time each morning, I get out the pieces that we’ll need.
We love our bulletin board, and we are loving our circle time!
What would you include in your bulletin board? Do you have any suggestions of things you would add?
![“Circle Time” Bulletin Board]()
by Catherine | Jan 20, 2014 | Faith, Family
I finally put the finishing touches on our “circle time” bulletin board. As I mentioned previously, I’m “pseudo-homeschooling” Jane and Walt to help us find more of a schedule at home. Hands down, their favorite part of our new schedule is “circle time.” (I’ll be writing a post about our schedule and schedule chart later this week or early next week.)
During “circle time,” I lay out a blanket for everyone to sit on. I sit with my back to the bulletin board, and Jane and Walt face me. Here’s the board:
I’ll describe our routine with the board before showing you up-close pictures:
We sit “criss cross applesauce” and begin circle time with prayer. We say the “Morning Offering.” Just a few weeks into the month, Jane and Walt already know it!
After the Morning Offering, we pray for the Person of the Week. The Person of the Week is a friend, family member, or other person that we pray for Sunday-Saturday. We print off the person’s photo to go on the Person of the Week purple sheet, and we print off 3 intentions that we will pray for that week for that person. We try to contact the Person of the Week ahead of time to ask them for their intentions.
After prayer, we move on to the calendar. I ask for my “special helper” to help me. Jane and Walt alternate days. The “special helper” helps stick the day of the week, month of the year, date, and Saint of the Day to the calendar. We mention which mysteries of the Rosary we pray for that day of the week and look at the Happy Saints Liturgical Calendar to see what we are celebrating next Sunday at Mass. The special helper also puts the “Yesterday,” “Today,” and “Tomorrow” sticks in their appropriate pockets. We sing our “Days of the Week” song at this point. Then, we put the arrows on the appropriate month/season and talk about today’s weather.
At this point, my “special helper” goes back to their spot on the blanket, and we stand up for our morning stretches. We do 10 jumping jacks followed by a bunch of stretches.
So, how did I make it?
I used:
- 1 4′ x 3′ bulletin board (on clearance from an office supply store)
- 1 calendar kit from a teacher supply store
- Templates for Saints of the Day, Day of the Week pockets, “This Sunday Is”, etc. from Sanctus Simplicitus’ Liturgical Year Bulletin Board
- Velcro squares
- Laminator & laminating pockets
- Cardstock
- Brads to spin the arrows
- Laptop & printer to print off our prayers
The Month:
I used the teacher supply calendar board and “Today’s Date” box rather than the Sanctus Simplicitus Liturgical Year template. I attached velcro squares so that the kids could attach the day of the week, month of the year, and date. Then, I attached velcro squares to the empty calendar, and I attached the opposite side of the velcro square to the Saints of the Day. I printed these saints from the Sanctus Simplicitus blog. (This is a good time to mention that the blogger is a sedevacantist. This is a schismatic group that does not follow the current liturgical calendar. However, many of the materials on the blog are very beautiful and useful for circle time. You’ll just find some minor differences in the liturgical calendar, saints, and other places like the mysteries of the Rosary, so know that ahead of time.) I am trying to stay one month ahead with the Saints of the Day, and I make any revisions that are necessary to bring the saints up to date.
There is a tradition in the Church to have special devotions on each day of the week. (For example, Sunday is “Blessed Trinity,” Monday is “Souls in Purgatory,” Tuesday is “Holy Angels,” etc.) I used these pockets from the Sanctus Simplicitus blog to help the kids practice their days of the week. They put “Yesterday,” “Today,” and “Tomorrow” craft sticks in the appropriate pockets each day.
I took this picture before attaching our family member’s face to the purple person of the week paper. I attach an index card or small sheet of paper with that person’s weekly intentions on the green page. I put velcro squares on the Joyful Mysteries image (also found on Sanctus Simplicitus). I had to create my own Luminous Mysteries image because sedevacantists split from the Church before Blessed John Paul II introduced the Luminous Mysteries.
Weather and prayers:
I used the teacher supply materials for the weather and season portion of our circle time board. I simply laminated the card stock, laminated the arrows, and stuck brads into them so that the kids could point the arrows to the corresponding month/kind of weather/season.
Below our season and weather section are our daily prayers. I typed these up on my own. I created a “Morning Offering” and “The Angelus.” I want to start praying The Angelus with the children at noon or as close to it as possible. I love the 19th century painting called “The Angelus” of the French peasants pausing from their work to pray. Below those prayers is our Prayer to St. Joseph (our family’s patron saint for 2014). I imagine I’ll switch out some of these prayers as the children master them and are ready to move on to others.
Liturgical Calendar:
I wasn’t able to use the liturgical calendar from the other blog, but I did use the “This Sunday Is” template. I purchased and printed this adorable liturgical calendar from Happy Saints. It’s an e-poster that prints off on 8.5″ x 11″ paper. I laminated mine before attaching it to the bulletin board. I typed up what’s happening in the 2013-2014 liturgical calendar every Sunday, and I put those words (for example: “Ordinary Week 3”) in the “This Sunday is:” box. Here is that doc. I love having the liturgical calendar in visual format so that the kids have a better understanding of where we are in the calendar in relation to the seasons of Advent and Easter. They love the bright colors and kid-friendly pictures.
So, what do I do with all of the extra pieces? I have the pieces separated by kind in sandwich bags inside of a canvas tote. Maybe I’ll upgrade to a desktop hanging file system or something like that down the road. For now, the sandwich bags are getting the job done. Before we start circle time each morning, I get out the pieces that we’ll need.
We love our bulletin board, and we are loving our circle time!
What would you include in your bulletin board? Do you have any suggestions of things you would add?
![Going to get help. “I think I might have postpartum depression.”]()
by Catherine | Jan 17, 2014 | Faith, Family
In a previous post, I wrote about the night Philip asked me, “Honey, do you think you might have postpartum depression?”
I’d like to pick up with the day I went to get help.
I pulled up to Sancta Familia’s parking lot for my appointment. Sancta Familia is a Catholic Medical Apostolate dedicated to treating its patients as unique children of God from the moment of conception to natural death. As I wrote in my previous post, I chose to make my appointment with Sancta Familia because I knew that one of their nurse practitioners was trained in the Creighton Model (this meant that she would be very familiar with the hormonal irregularities that can occur during the postpartum phase). To learn more about Sancta Familia, please check out their website.
When I walked in the door, I knew I had chosen the right medical practice. A lobby separated two rooms. To my right was the medical practice. To my left was a chapel. After completing some paperwork, the sweet receptionist invited me to wait in the waiting room or the adjoining chapel. I opted for some quiet prayer time.
I knelt for a long time, praying for God to help me calm my nerves. I was anxious about the appointment, and I still wasn’t sure what my diagnosis or treatment options would be. I prayed that the Holy Spirit would give me the words to be humble and honest about what had been my everyday reality. I prayed that He would open my ears to hear the medical advice I sought. I prayed that I would be brave enough to do whatever it took to get better.
After awhile, I sat back to take in the chapel. Isn’t it beautiful? It was pretty amazing waiting for my appointment with God in the tabernacle. I loved having the images of the Holy Family to look at. When I looked at Mary, I asked her to intercede for me as a wife and mother. I asked her to help me follow her example in perfect obedience and trust. When I looked at Joseph holding the Christ Child, I pictured Philip at home, holding our babies. I prayed that Joseph would continue to watch over our family. In fact, I think this was the moment I decided he would make a great patron saint for our family in 2014. Joseph stayed by Mary’s side even though he got more than he “signed up for.” I prayed that Philip would find comfort and peace in Joseph’s example–that sometimes marriage gives us more than we sign up for, but God will reward us for our obedience and faithfulness. I knew that my depression had been difficult for Philip, and I prayed for God to bless him for his devotion to our family.
When I sat back, I noticed this card on the seat next to me. It’s a “Prayer to Jesus Christ, the Divine Physician.” I read and re-read the prayer until the receptionist tapped me on the shoulder to let me know that it was time for my appointment.
Deep breath…
After getting my height, weight, and vitals checked by a nurse, I waited for a few minutes in one of the exam rooms. The Divine Physician hung on the crucifix on the wall above the exam table. Yup, this was definitely the right place.
Moments later, my nurse practitioner, Teresa, walked in. She asked why I came in, and I said, “Well, my husband and I think I might have postpartum depression, but I’m not sure. I thought you could tell me what you think and we could go from there.”
Just like that night on the couch with Philip, Teresa went through a list of symptoms of PPD, asking me to say whether I had them with a “no” or “yes.” I said “yes” to almost every single one.
From there, Teresa let me know that she has been treating women with PPD for 14 years across the country. Through her training and time in practice, Teresa is very familiar with the way a woman’s hormones fluctuate before, during, and after her childbearing years. Teresa explained that a woman’s progesterone levels plummet from the moment she delivers the placenta. Until a woman’s cycle returns, women with PPD experience fewer symptoms when given progesterone therapy. (The Pope Paul VI website explains the use of progesterone therapy to treat postpartum depression here.) Progesterone therapy works very quickly (unlike antidepressants, which may take weeks to take effect), is relatively inexpensive, and works with a woman’s naturally occurring hormones. When a woman’s cycle returns and her progesterone levels come back to normal, she should experience fewer PPD symptoms and should wean from the progesterone.
Teresa prescribed a course of 5 progesterone shots every other day, and she gave me the first shot at my visit. I asked her how quickly I should expect a difference, and she said, “Within hours.” She said, “My favorite part of treating women with postpartum depression is calling them the next day and asking, ‘How are you feeling?’ because they almost always say, ‘Great!'”
Teresa reassured me that the depression wasn’t just something in my head. I left knowing that PPD is a treatable medical condition and that I would not feel bad forever. I left my appointment at noon, and I felt like myself again by 3 p.m. I had more energy, I wasn’t anxious, I didn’t have angry outbursts. I felt ready to tackle the rest of the day.
Philip and I were thrilled, and Philip called my prescription in to the pharmacy. Fortunately, being married to a doctor meant that he could give me the shots from home instead of going in to the clinic every other day. Unfortunately, the pharmacy filling my prescription couldn’t get the progesterone oil in for four days. This meant that I felt great for a few days, but I started to have a reoccurrence of the symptoms.
When I finally got my second shot, I felt the same relief within hours. The progesterone comes in sesame oil, and it’s very thick, so the needle that dispenses it is pretty big. It needs to be injected in my rear end for the best results. It definitely doesn’t tickle, but it’s worth the discomfort for the results.
After that second shot at home, I continued to feel better, but I noticed that my symptoms would start returning by the time I was due for another shot. When I reported this to Teresa, she suggested supplementing the shots with oral micronized progesterone. This way, I would receive a slow, steady dose of the hormone in addition to the shots. Teresa suggested taking 1 progesterone pill a day and bumping it up to 2 if I still felt the symptoms.
I took 1 progesterone pill daily on top of the every-other-day shots. I had more good days than bad, but I still had bad days with angry outbursts, anxiety, exhaustion, etc., so I decided to start taking 2 progesterone pills daily. Since I started taking 2 progesterone pills daily on top of the every-other-day shots, I feel like I have a handle on things.
Unfortunately, breastfeeding was becoming one of my contributing stressors to the PPD. After a lot of prayer and anguish, I decided to start weaning Harry at nearly five months. Harry was used to taking bottles of breast milk, and he didn’t even seem to notice the difference between breast milk and formula. The morning after he had his first bottle of formula, my cycle returned! Cycling again means that my body is amping up to start producing healthy levels of progesterone on its own, and I need to start weaning myself off of the progesterone shots and pills. I am scared. I finally feel like I’m in a good place after battling PPD for a few months, and I’m nervous about what will happen when I start to go off of the progesterone. I am supposed to immediately discontinue the shots, continue on the pills for another week, and see what happens from there. I agree with the logic behind this decision, and I know it’s the right thing to do, but I don’t want to experience a relapse. I know I am in good hands, though. I know that the worst that can happen is a brief relapse, and I can resume my progesterone therapy.
In the meantime, I am going to schedule an appointment with a Catholic therapist, and Philip is going to come with me. We have some stressful times ahead with listing the house and moving. I want to make sure that I am equipped to emotionally handle these stressors when they arise. I’ve always struggled with managing my anger. I want to make sure that I am modeling appropriate emotional control around the kids, and I want to have that control for myself. It feels awful when you’re losing it–yelling, clapping your hands, clenching your jaw. I don’t want my children to learn those behaviors from me, and I don’t want to continue doing them. I want them to know that it’s okay to feel however they feel, that it’s good to talk about whatever they are feeling, and that there are good and bad ways to handle our feelings. In a lot of ways, I am grateful that God allowed me to suffer during this time so that I would pursue therapy–not only for my sake, but for the good of our whole family. I know my treatment from PPD will be much more successful with therapy in conjunction with my medication.
So, that’s where we are now. I am waiting and praying that the PPD symptoms won’t return as I wean off of the progesterone. I pray that therapy will be healing and helpful.
My amazing nurse practitioner, Teresa, agreed to do a Q&A interview about postpartum depression to publish on the blog. I will be sending her my questions soon, and I look forward to sharing her responses with you. I think it will be a great opportunity for women to learn more about progesterone therapy for PPD. I hope you’ll stop by to learn from her years of experience.
A dear friend said something that only a dear friend could. After I gave her an update on how things were going with my PPD, she suggested that maybe God was allowing it so that I could share my story with others. Maybe she’s right. After I shared my story about miscarrying Therese, I received so many messages from women that experienced something similar. Since sharing my story about my experience with PPD, several women have reached out to share their stories with me. Miscarriage and postpartum depression have been two of my biggest crosses so far, but I am ultimately grateful for them because they have been sources of great healing.
It makes me think about that scene in Genesis when Joseph forgives his brothers for intending great evil against him. He says, “you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good” (Genesis 50: 20). No matter what happens to us in this life, God can use it for good. So, whether or not I have a reoccurrence of my PPD symptoms, it is unlikely that this will be the last cross God asks me to carry. The good news is I don’t have to carry it alone. Even if He gives me more than I can handle, He will give me rest, and He will use it for good.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest in your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
Thank you for your continued prayers and support!
![Going to get help. "I think I might have postpartum depression."]()
by Catherine | Jan 17, 2014 | Faith, Family
In a previous post, I wrote about the night Philip asked me, “Honey, do you think you might have postpartum depression?”
I’d like to pick up with the day I went to get help.
I pulled up to Sancta Familia’s parking lot for my appointment. Sancta Familia is a Catholic Medical Apostolate dedicated to treating its patients as unique children of God from the moment of conception to natural death. As I wrote in my previous post, I chose to make my appointment with Sancta Familia because I knew that one of their nurse practitioners was trained in the Creighton Model (this meant that she would be very familiar with the hormonal irregularities that can occur during the postpartum phase). To learn more about Sancta Familia, please check out their website.
When I walked in the door, I knew I had chosen the right medical practice. A lobby separated two rooms. To my right was the medical practice. To my left was a chapel. After completing some paperwork, the sweet receptionist invited me to wait in the waiting room or the adjoining chapel. I opted for some quiet prayer time.
I knelt for a long time, praying for God to help me calm my nerves. I was anxious about the appointment, and I still wasn’t sure what my diagnosis or treatment options would be. I prayed that the Holy Spirit would give me the words to be humble and honest about what had been my everyday reality. I prayed that He would open my ears to hear the medical advice I sought. I prayed that I would be brave enough to do whatever it took to get better.
After awhile, I sat back to take in the chapel. Isn’t it beautiful? It was pretty amazing waiting for my appointment with God in the tabernacle. I loved having the images of the Holy Family to look at. When I looked at Mary, I asked her to intercede for me as a wife and mother. I asked her to help me follow her example in perfect obedience and trust. When I looked at Joseph holding the Christ Child, I pictured Philip at home, holding our babies. I prayed that Joseph would continue to watch over our family. In fact, I think this was the moment I decided he would make a great patron saint for our family in 2014. Joseph stayed by Mary’s side even though he got more than he “signed up for.” I prayed that Philip would find comfort and peace in Joseph’s example–that sometimes marriage gives us more than we sign up for, but God will reward us for our obedience and faithfulness. I knew that my depression had been difficult for Philip, and I prayed for God to bless him for his devotion to our family.
When I sat back, I noticed this card on the seat next to me. It’s a “Prayer to Jesus Christ, the Divine Physician.” I read and re-read the prayer until the receptionist tapped me on the shoulder to let me know that it was time for my appointment.
Deep breath…
After getting my height, weight, and vitals checked by a nurse, I waited for a few minutes in one of the exam rooms. The Divine Physician hung on the crucifix on the wall above the exam table. Yup, this was definitely the right place.
Moments later, my nurse practitioner, Teresa, walked in. She asked why I came in, and I said, “Well, my husband and I think I might have postpartum depression, but I’m not sure. I thought you could tell me what you think and we could go from there.”
Just like that night on the couch with Philip, Teresa went through a list of symptoms of PPD, asking me to say whether I had them with a “no” or “yes.” I said “yes” to almost every single one.
From there, Teresa let me know that she has been treating women with PPD for 14 years across the country. Through her training and time in practice, Teresa is very familiar with the way a woman’s hormones fluctuate before, during, and after her childbearing years. Teresa explained that a woman’s progesterone levels plummet from the moment she delivers the placenta. Until a woman’s cycle returns, women with PPD experience fewer symptoms when given progesterone therapy. (The Pope Paul VI website explains the use of progesterone therapy to treat postpartum depression here.) Progesterone therapy works very quickly (unlike antidepressants, which may take weeks to take effect), is relatively inexpensive, and works with a woman’s naturally occurring hormones. When a woman’s cycle returns and her progesterone levels come back to normal, she should experience fewer PPD symptoms and should wean from the progesterone.
Teresa prescribed a course of 5 progesterone shots every other day, and she gave me the first shot at my visit. I asked her how quickly I should expect a difference, and she said, “Within hours.” She said, “My favorite part of treating women with postpartum depression is calling them the next day and asking, ‘How are you feeling?’ because they almost always say, ‘Great!'”
Teresa reassured me that the depression wasn’t just something in my head. I left knowing that PPD is a treatable medical condition and that I would not feel bad forever. I left my appointment at noon, and I felt like myself again by 3 p.m. I had more energy, I wasn’t anxious, I didn’t have angry outbursts. I felt ready to tackle the rest of the day.
Philip and I were thrilled, and Philip called my prescription in to the pharmacy. Fortunately, being married to a doctor meant that he could give me the shots from home instead of going in to the clinic every other day. Unfortunately, the pharmacy filling my prescription couldn’t get the progesterone oil in for four days. This meant that I felt great for a few days, but I started
to have a reoccurrence of the symptoms.
When I finally got my second shot, I felt the same relief within hours. The progesterone comes in sesame oil, and it’s very thick, so the needle that dispenses it is pretty big. It needs to be injected in my rear end for the best results. It definitely doesn’t tickle, but it’s worth the discomfort for the results.
After that second shot at home, I continued to feel better, but I noticed that my symptoms would start returning by the time I was due for another shot. When I reported this to Teresa, she suggested supplementing the shots with oral micronized progesterone. This way, I would receive a slow, steady dose of the hormone in addition to the shots. Teresa suggested taking 1 progesterone pill a day and bumping it up to 2 if I still felt the symptoms.
I took 1 progesterone pill daily on top of the every-other-day shots. I had more good days than bad, but I still had bad days with angry outbursts, anxiety, exhaustion, etc., so I decided to start taking 2 progesterone pills daily. Since I started taking 2 progesterone pills daily on top of the every-other-day shots, I feel like I have a handle on things.
Unfortunately, breastfeeding was becoming one of my contributing stressors to the PPD. After a lot of prayer and anguish, I decided to start weaning Harry at nearly five months. Harry was used to taking bottles of breast milk, and he didn’t even seem to notice the difference between breast milk and formula. The morning after he had his first bottle of formula, my cycle returned! Cycling again means that my body is amping up to start producing healthy levels of progesterone on its own, and I need to start weaning myself off of the progesterone shots and pills. I am scared. I finally feel like I’m in a good place after battling PPD for a few months, and I’m nervous about what will happen when I start to go off of the progesterone. I am supposed to immediately discontinue the shots, continue on the pills for another week, and see what happens from there. I agree with the logic behind this decision, and I know it’s the right thing to do, but I don’t want to experience a relapse. I know I am in good hands, though. I know that the worst that can happen is a brief relapse, and I can resume my progesterone therapy.
In the meantime, I am going to schedule an appointment with a Catholic therapist, and Philip is going to come with me. We have some stressful times ahead with listing the house and moving. I want to make sure that I am equipped to emotionally handle these stressors when they arise. I’ve always struggled with managing my anger. I want to make sure that I am modeling appropriate emotional control around the kids, and I want to have that control for myself. It feels awful when you’re losing it–yelling, clapping your hands, clenching your jaw. I don’t want my children to learn those behaviors from me, and I don’t want to continue doing them. I want them to know that it’s okay to feel however they feel, that it’s good to talk about whatever they are feeling, and that there are good and bad ways to handle our feelings. In a lot of ways, I am grateful that God allowed me to suffer during this time so that I would pursue therapy–not only for my sake, but for the good of our whole family. I know my treatment from PPD will be much more successful with therapy in conjunction with my medication.
So, that’s where we are now. I am waiting and praying that the PPD symptoms won’t return as I wean off of the progesterone. I pray that therapy will be healing and helpful.
My amazing nurse practitioner, Teresa, agreed to do a Q&A interview about postpartum depression to publish on the blog. I will be sending her my questions soon, and I look forward to sharing her responses with you. I think it will be a great opportunity for women to learn more about progesterone therapy for PPD. I hope you’ll stop by to learn from her years of experience.
A dear friend said something that only a dear friend could. After I gave her an update on how things were going with my PPD, she suggested that maybe God was allowing it so that I could share my story with others. Maybe she’s right. After I shared my story about miscarrying Therese, I received so many messages from women that experienced something similar. Since sharing my story about my experience with PPD, several women have reached out to share their stories with me. Miscarriage and postpartum depression have been two of my biggest crosses so far, but I am ultimately grateful for them because they have been sources of great healing.
It makes me think about that scene in Genesis when Joseph forgives his brothers for intending great evil against him. He says, “you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good” (Genesis 50: 20). No matter what happens to us in this life, God can use it for good. So, whether or not I have a reoccurrence of my PPD symptoms, it is unlikely that this will be the last cross God asks me to carry. The good news is I don’t have to carry it alone. Even if He gives me more than I can handle, He will give me rest, and He will use it for good.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest in your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
Thank you for your continued prayers and support!
![A New Year Challenge (especially for parents)]()
by Catherine | Jan 9, 2014 | Faith
I’m a little delayed in this announcement, but I wanted to be sure and pass along a fantastic resources for your daily Scripture study. If you follow the daily Mass readings, be sure to stop by CatholicMom for the Daily Gospel Reflections. If you’ve always wanted to but never have, what better time to start than at the beginning of a new year?!
Starting on January 1, a different CatholicMom contributor shares a reflection on that day’s Gospel reading. These are short, inspiring, and accessible reflections to help bring God’s Word to the center of your life.
I joined the Gospel Reflection Team, and my reflections will start being published the 12th of every month. I am very excited to have this extra nudge to engage on a deeper level with Sacred Scripture. Also, can I tell you how amazing it is to open up the Gospels and actually understand the context in which Jesus was living because of studying Jeff Cavins’ Bible Timeline?! SO AWESOME! (Note: I took this month “off” and asked another writer to take my reflection so that I could focus on getting the house ready to sell. My reflections start next month.)
To access the daily Mass readings, come here.
To access the CatholicMom Gospel reflections, come here.
My challenge to you (and myself):
I challenge you to read the readings for Mass on Sunday before Mass. I know this has been especially helpful for me as a mother of young children. It’s tempting to say that you “don’t get anything out of Mass” with little ones in tow, but, let’s get real–we’re getting Someone out of the Mass every time we receive Christ in the Eucharist. When we think about it like that, it’s downright embarrassing to think we’d even be tempted to say that we’re “not getting anything out of Mass.” Gulp.
If we can take the extra time to engage with the Liturgy of the Word before Mass, it will enrich our participation in the Liturgy of the Eucharist. We may not get to hear every single word being said, but allowing the Word to be on our hearts before we walk into the sanctuary is a powerful practice. We’ll be better prepared to connect the dots between the readings and Father’s homily. Philip and I are going to make it a point to discuss the readings and Father’s homily after Mass. Between the two of us, we should be able to get the whole message and learn from one another’s insights. As an added bonus, we’ll be better prepared to pass on the Faith to your children because of our extra engagement with God’s Word. Everyone wins!
If you’re already reading the Mass readings for Sundays, I challenge you to read at least one of the other day’s Scripture readings. Read them with the Catechism at your side (or find it online here), and begin to see how intrinsic God’s Word is to the Catholic Faith. Bonus points if you actually get to Mass on a day other than Sunday and hear the Word being proclaimed!
I hope you’ll enjoy the daily CatholicMom Gospel reflections and begin to deepen (or just begin!) your appreciation of God’s love letters to you. He won’t disappoint you for making the effort!
Question:
What do you and your other family members do to deepen your relationship with God’s Word? Please share!
![The Cross of Infertility With Amanda Teixeira (Part 4 of 4)]()
by Catherine | Dec 30, 2013 | Everything Else, Faith, Marriage
If you’re just stumbling upon this series, please do yourself a favor, and read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. In Part 1, I introduced the series, and my dear friend, Amanda Teixeira, stole the show with her captivating love story with her husband, Jonathan. In Part 2, Amanda helped us to understand what infertility feels like. In Part 3, Amanda shared what NOT to do or say when a loved one is facing infertility.
In Part 4, Amanda gives us ideas how TO support a loved one facing infertility. We also discussed how faith plays in to all of this, how Amanda and Jonathan support one another, the best ways for friends with children to support them, resources for couples facing infertility, and Amanda’s closing thoughts.
Just like in Parts 1-3, my questions appear in red italics, and Amanda’s responses appear in regular type.
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Part 4 of The Cross of Infertility
How TO Support a Loved One Facing Infertility
What are some of the most helpful and healing things others have said or done? What made these gestures so moving?
1. Praying for and with us.
We know many people have actually prayed novenas with and for us. Others have offered Masses and told us. Still others have included us on their pilgrimages to holy sites or brought us blessed religious articles from different places across the world. These are really comforting to us. These gestures make us feel like we aren’t alone. Others are physically helping us carry the cross in these actions.
2. Inviting us over and opening their lives to us.
Several other couples who struggle with infertility have taken us under their wings. I always walk away from those convos refreshed and ready to keep carrying the cross.
Even fertile couples inviting us over to actually join them in their lives is incredibly healing for us. We get to be around a family and the realities of what it’s like to have kids around. This never makes us jealous or sad. We just enjoy feeling welcomed into the life of others’ families and it helps Jonathan and I feel more like a family even if it’s just us two. It also gives us hope of what might be in store for us someday.
3. Asking us how they can help
.
This really takes boldness, and I really appreciate it when a friend asks this. Infertility is like being on the cross with Jesus. I am totally linked to him. I am well aware that we are asking a LOT of our friends and family to be near us in the struggle. It’s like when Jesus was on the cross – only Mary, John, and a few women stood nearby. It took tremendous amounts of courage to stay by Jesus on the cross and in turn, it takes a lot of courage to ask people to stand with us while we hang on the cross. Most people won’t have the emotional ability to stay with us, and I know that. But those willing to try and stick near us…I treasure with all my heart because they are far and few between.
4. Sending us notes/gifts/gift cards to go have fun with.
We’ve had people send us groupons or gift cards to go out to eat or to grab coffee. Yes, we’re busy with work and some outside of work activities but yea, we have time on our hands. Time I all too often resent. When family/friends intentionally step in the gap and try to help me enjoy the time, I am thankful.
Once, I even got flowers with an encouraging message on a day I had some particularly difficult blood tests that a friend knew about. I can’t tell you how loved I felt in that moment.
5. Asking us how we are doing.
There is a difference between really asking this and just being nosy. Everyone knows the difference. The sincere asks are refreshing to me. If I don’t feel like answering, I will let you know. More often than not, I am carrying this burden alone with Jonathan and just praying someone will ask me how I am really doing. It’s healthy for me to vent from time to time and open up to people who really care about me. I appreciate sincere people wanting to know how I am doing, especially because I feel awkward bringing this topic up because I don’t want to burden others.
One of the questions pregnant gals get ALL THE TIME is “how are you feeling?” I’ve never been pregnant, but in FOCUS I am surrounded by pregnant women EVERYWHERE, and so I hear it a lot. For the infertile girl, this question is hard and awkward and most people don’t ask because they simply can’t handle the suffering that will definitely come forth…which is why I am grateful for mature friends and family who willingly walk right into the hurt with me and open a door for me to share my heart.
Being faithful Catholics, how does God play a role in all of this for you and Jonathan? Do you distinguish between God’s ordained will and His permissive will in regards to your fertility?
This has been one of the hardest questions for us to struggle with honestly.
Questions that bounce through my mind: “Why would God, the author of all life, put a baby in the womb of a woman who will surely go abort it?” or “Why would God put a baby in the womb of a woman whose family will abuse the child?” or even, “Since God hasn’t blessed us with life, does that mean he doesn’t want us to be parents or we would be bad parents?”
There are no answers when I throw these questions at God. Usually only silence. All I do know is that he doesn’t want any child aborted or abused, and he doesn’t want me to suffer and feel like he hates me. But that is all I know. My life is surrounded with dozens of unanswered questions, as many peoples lives are with a variety of sufferings they endure.
What are the best ways that you support Jonathan? What are the best ways that he supports you?
Best way to support Jonathan? To be attentive to spending time with him and verbally tell him how happy I am to be married to him/value him in my life. I mentioned previously that he sometimes fears I hate my life married to him without babies…so I have to reassure him of my affections despite my sadness.
Best ways he can support me? Taking me on adventures and helping me put my dreams into a reality. For example: I have been wanting to run a half-marathon lately. Jonathan is helping research races across the country in fun places like California or Florida so we can train together and have something to look forward to.
What are the best moves for friends with children to do?
Keep me in their lives. I think people with children are afraid to talk to me about their children in fear I will have a meltdown. If someone is bragging about their kids to me, yea, I will get annoyed, but so would anyone.
If a friend with children is simply sharing a hilarious story or wants to talk (without complaining) about how tough it is to be attentive to their older children while they battle sleepless nights with a newborn, I am all ears. That’s their reality, and I want to be a part of it, not shut out. I have the emotional maturity to be a good friend even if I am not blessed with kiddos myself.
Now, there may be seasons when I simply keep my own distance, and don’t think I hate you or anything. I am likely just grieving the most recent bad news (failed treatment, return of an infection, another negative pregnancy test, got 15 pregnancy announcements from other FOCUS women, etc.). I’ll be back. I just might not be able to accept your invitation to come over or attend that Baby Shower you are hosting for a friend.
What resources are available for couples facing infertility? What encouragement and support would you offer them?
3. Books.
4. Counseling.
5. Prayer, Spiritual Direction, and Confession.
I can’t stress this foundation enough. With infertility, daily prayer is vital to warding off despair. Spiritual direction will also keep you sane. And confession…it will be necessary use this Sacrament to dispel lies from the Devil you slip into believing.
OTHER THOUGHTS
I thought ending the series with something positive and uplifting would be best, since I feel like much of what I have to say is sad, confused, and bitter at times – which isn’t the whole of it. So I made up a question or you could weave what I have to say into the ending of the last blog post.
How have you grown in your relationship with God during this time?
Sometimes I feel like I haven’t. There are days I feel I am backsliding in my faith at best..I’ve actually cussed God out a time or two in my weakest moments. Pretty bad, right?
But then I look back on my faith from years ago. It was strong, yes, but it hadn’t been tested. Now, with infertility, I feel as if I’ve been through the fiery furnace only to be sent right back through it again every time another cycle starts. Yep, there are days my faith is hanging on by a string. But most days, a sense of abandonment, surrender, wonder and awe, trust, perspective, humility, and wisdom come over me.
I feel 110% dependent on God alone…mostly because I literally can’t DO anything to take my cross away. I know how weak I am and I quit trusting myself a long time ago with this cross. It’s all Him now. My life finds its identity in God because He’s the only One who can’t let me down. Everything else is passing to me. I long for heaven. I don’t care about my plans because His are better even if they don’t feel better right now.
Sometimes I think God gave me the cross of infertility to force me into total surrender because I never would have gotten there any other way. That makes me grateful. I’ve always prayed that my life would be about Him and bringing Him glory. That my life would look like His. I really believe infertility is an answered prayer (rarely!!!! but I do sometimes) because I don’t know if I would have been linked to Jesus through any other means. I get to be with him on the cross…and so it’s only a matter of time until he brings the resurrection into my life. What a sweet day that will be indeed.
* * *
Amanda, thank you so much for opening your heart and spilling out everything–your pain, your longing, your hope, and the truth about everything in between. Thank you for helping all of us reading to better understand how to love you and anyone we know carrying the cross of infertility. I am so proud to call you my dear friend. I pray that this blog series will help the rest of us unburden you from carrying this cross alone. You are a treasure!
