![Why You Should Oppose LB485]()
by Catherine | Apr 4, 2014 | Everything Else, Faith
The Nebraska Catholic Conference opposes LB485, and my goal in this post is to share why. After reading this post, whether you are Catholic or not, I hope you will be opposed to LB485 if you are a champion of religious freedom.
First, what is LB485?
“Legislative Bill 485, in the form of Amendment 1771, would add ‘sexual orientation’ and ‘gender identity’ as protected classifications for purposes of the law used to punish employers (of 15 or more employees) for decisions deemed to be discrimination in hiring, firing and terms and conditions of employment. In addition, it would apply the same prohibitive standard to all contractors and subcontractors of the state and political subdivisions regardless of the number of employees.” (Taken from the PDF “Background Information on LB485 from The Nebraska Catholic Conference”)
Why is this a problem for religious liberty?
LB485 does not make the essential distinctions that the Catholic Church makes when it comes to sexual immorality. The Catholic Church teaches that it is not in and of itself sinful to have same sex attraction. In other words, someone should not be unjustly fired “just for being gay.” (I have all kinds of problems with the phrase “being gay,” but I’ll save that for another time.) While the Church does not teach that it is sinful in and of itself to have same sex attraction, it is sinful when one acts on that same sex attraction.
Catholics are taught in the Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraph 2358 that those with same sex attraction “must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.” The argument I’m reading everywhere that “the Nebraska Catholic Church thinks you can be fired just for being gay” is malarkey. (By the way, there is no “Nebraska Catholic Church.” It’s just the Catholic Church.) If the Catholic Church really taught that we ought to unjustly discriminate against those with same sex attraction, we’d all be rightly outraged.
We need to make an important distinction that LB485 does not. While Catholics are called to never unjustly discriminate against someone with same sex attraction, Catholics uphold the never-changing tradition of the Church that “homosexual acts are intrinsicially disordered” and that “under no circumstances can they be approved” (Emphasis mine. Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 2357).
Hate the sin. Love the sinner.
LB485 doesn’t allow for that distinction. By using the umbrella terms “sexual orientation” and “gender identity,”
“This proposed law to prohibit and punish discrimination based on “sexual orientation” extends far beyond unjust discrimination based on any employer’s mere belief that any applicant or employee is sexually attracted to persons of the same sex. It extends legal protection and state governmental affirmation to public activities intended to endorse, promote and facilitate sexual conduct (i.e., lifestyle activities) outside of marriage between a man and a woman. Employers who, because of their religious and/or moral convictions, do not wish to accept or affirm lifestyles that involve sexual conduct outside of marriage between a man and a woman will be subject to state-imposed punishment for claims of discrimination.” (Emphasis mine. Taken from the PDF “Background Information on LB485 from The Nebraska Catholic Conference”)
In practice, this means that Catholic parishes and schools in Nebraska would no longer be protected by their morality clause when it comes to “sexual orientation” or “gender identity.”
When I became an employee of a Catholic school in Nebraska, part of my contract asked me to sign a “morality clause,” meaning that I agreed as an employee of that Catholic school to abide by Catholic Church Teaching. If the school learned that I somehow violated Church Teaching, they would have the right to fire me under their morality clause.
Under LB485, religious and private organizations following adherence to Church Teaching on sexual morality in their workplace and employment practices would be subject to legal action and penalty.
A Catholic school in California is already experiencing legal scrutiny. St. Lucy’s Priory fired Ken Bencomo for violating the school’s morality clause when pictures from his “wedding ceremony” to his same sex partner were published in a local newspaper. Mr. Bencomo is firing the school for “wrongful termination in violation of public policy, violation of the state Labor Code and breach of contract.” Lawsuits like Mr. Bencomo’s will continue coming in against religious and private organizations trying to uphold their own moral codes. St. Lucy’s Priory and other private or religious organizations will be forced to choose under legislation like LB485: violate your conscience or face legal punishment. Just laws do not force individuals to violate their consciences.
Nebraskans, please join me in opposing LB485. Call or e-mail your state senator, and urge them to oppose LB485. To find your state senator, click here.
!["The real driver's seat"]()
by Catherine | Mar 28, 2014 | Faith
My freshman year undergrad English class read Anne Lamott’s Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son’s First Year. (Note: In no way am I advocating the book or saying that I agree with Anne Lamott’s theological views. I just liked a few passages from the book. I’d love to reread it now that I’m a mother myself.)
At one point in the book, Lamott talks about our need to be in control as being an addiction. She shares an astute observation from a friend:
“He said he’d finally figured out a few years ago that his profound sense of control, in the world and over his life, is another addiction and a total illusion. He said that when he sees little kids sitting in the backseat of cars, in those car seats that have steering wheels, with grim expressions of concentration on their faces, clearly convinced that their efforts are causing the car to do whatever it is doing, he thinks of himself and his relationship with God: God who drives along silently, gently amused, in the real driver’s seat” (p. 113).
I love that. The real driver’s seat.
I am so totally addicted to control. I am a control freak. I love making plans, figuring out how to execute plans, being methodical in carrying them out, and proclaiming victory when it all goes according to, well, my plan. Getting thrown off course makes me batty.
That quote from Anne Lamott makes me picture God, watching me go about my daily life with the fierce determination of a toddler with that pretend steering wheel.
 |
| How I must look to God |
Meanwhile, God has the eternal view of time, and He knows that my plans often aren’t in line with His will (aka what’s ultimately best for me). “Catherine,” He must think, “let me be the driver. I’ll get you exactly where you need to be when you need to be there.”
With all of the craziness surrounding trying to sell our home and find a new one, I can’t even begin to tell you the number of times God has shown me the importance of letting go and letting HIM. Let me tell ya, it hurts to let go of control when you’re a control freak.
God knows I’m needing extra graces lately because He’s making all kinds of grand gestures. For starters, He sent me to confession with our Archbishop last week! Still processing that one…
This week, I was fed up with weeks of a rotten house hunting experience. I said to God the other night, “Okay, I give in. I’m trying too hard to be in control of everything. Please take this. Please allow me to hand it over and be at peace with whatever You want for our family. YOUR will be done! Make me mean it, God, because You know I want it all to be on my terms.”
And, you know what? God really can’t be outdone in generosity. We just have to let go of our fake steering wheels and let him be in the real driver’s seat. When I finally let go, in the most incredible turn of events I’ve ever experienced, God dropped our new home in our laps.
I’ve cried so many happy tears in the last few days because I am blown away by God’s goodness and His faithfulness. I’ll share the story when everything is done done, but let me tell ya, it’s an amazing story.
Lesson learned: the way to happiness is to abandon my will, pray for God’s will to be done, and learn to unite mine with His. Besides, life’s better when I’m enjoying the ride instead of white-knuckling the steering wheel on my own course.
Are you a control freak, too? Do you struggle to let go of your white-knuckled clutch of your fake steering wheel? Was there a time when God taught you how to let go? What happened?
![“The real driver’s seat”]()
by Catherine | Mar 28, 2014 | Faith
My freshman year undergrad English class read Anne Lamott’s Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son’s First Year. (Note: In no way am I advocating the book or saying that I agree with Anne Lamott’s theological views. I just liked a few passages from the book. I’d love to reread it now that I’m a mother myself.)
At one point in the book, Lamott talks about our need to be in control as being an addiction. She shares an astute observation from a friend:
“He said he’d finally figured out a few years ago that his profound sense of control, in the world and over his life, is another addiction and a total illusion. He said that when he sees little kids sitting in the backseat of cars, in those car seats that have steering wheels, with grim expressions of concentration on their faces, clearly convinced that their efforts are causing the car to do whatever it is doing, he thinks of himself and his relationship with God: God who drives along silently, gently amused, in the real driver’s seat” (p. 113).
I love that. The real driver’s seat.
I am so totally addicted to control. I am a control freak. I love making plans, figuring out how to execute plans, being methodical in carrying them out, and proclaiming victory when it all goes according to, well, my plan. Getting thrown off course makes me batty.
That quote from Anne Lamott makes me picture God, watching me go about my daily life with the fierce determination of a toddler with that pretend steering wheel.
|
| How I must look to God |
Meanwhile, God has the eternal view of time, and He knows that my plans often aren’t in line with His will (aka what’s ultimately best for me). “Catherine,” He must think, “let me be the driver. I’ll get you exactly where you need to be when you need to be there.”
With all of the craziness surrounding trying to sell our home and find a new one, I can’t even begin to tell you the number of times God has shown me the importance of letting go and letting HIM. Let me tell ya, it hurts to let go of control when you’re a control freak.
God knows I’m needing extra graces lately because He’s making all kinds of grand gestures. For starters, He sent me to confession with our Archbishop last week! Still processing that one…
This week, I was fed up with weeks of a rotten house hunting experience. I said to God the other night, “Okay, I give in. I’m trying too hard to be in control of everything. Please take this. Please allow me to hand it over and be at peace with whatever You want for our family. YOUR will be done! Make me mean it, God, because You know I want it all to be on my terms.”
And, you know what? God really can’t be outdone in generosity. We just have to let go of our fake steering wheels and let him be in the real driver’s seat. When I finally let go, in the most incredible turn of events I’ve ever experienced, God dropped our new home in our laps.
I’ve cried so many happy tears in the last few days because I am blown away by God’s goodness and His faithfulness. I’ll share the story when everything is done done, but let me tell ya, it’s an amazing story.
Lesson learned: the way to happiness is to abandon my will, pray for God’s will to be done, and learn to unite mine with His. Besides, life’s better when I’m enjoying the ride instead of white-knuckling the steering wheel on my own course.
Are you a control freak, too? Do you struggle to let go of your white-knuckled clutch of your fake steering wheel? Was there a time when God taught you how to let go? What happened?
![Bishop James D. Conley's Letter to Catholic Families & Healthcare Providers in the Diocese of Lincoln]()
by Catherine | Mar 25, 2014 | Faith, Family
In case you didn’t know it, I love our shepherd here in Omaha. In fact, I (accidentally) had my own private audience with him last week!
Did you know that today is the Solemnity of the Annunication? Today, the Catholic Church celebrate’s Mary’s “yes” to become the Mother of Jesus. If you’d like to learn more about the Annunciation and why it’s kinda a big deal, read Jimmy Akin’s helpful blog post.
On this Solemnity of the Annunciation, Bishop James D. Conley of the Diocese of Lincoln, released a letter to Catholic families & healthcare providers. The letter charges those in the Lincoln Diocese to respond to the gift of the Incarnation through openness to life. Please read the letter in its entirety. I know our family will be in good hands when we join the Diocese of Lincoln this summer!
To download an audio copy of Bishop Conley’s letter, click here.
Below is the full letter from Bishop Conley:
The Language of Love
A letter to the Catholic families and healthcare providers of the Diocese of Lincoln
Most Reverend James D. Conley, STL
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
|
Additional Resources
Click here for a PDF version of The Language of Love.
In Obedience to Christ: A Pastoral Letter To Catholic Couples and Physicians on the Issue of Contraception
Mother Teresa, 1994 National Prayer Breakfast | Click here.
|
Twenty years ago, Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta stood before the President of the United States, before senators and congressmen, before justices of the United States Supreme Court. She spoke about her work among the world’s poor. She spoke about justice and compassion. Most importantly, she spoke about love.“Love,” she told them, “has to hurt. I must be willing to give whatever it takes not to harm other people and, in fact, to do good to them. This requires that I be willing to give until it hurts. Otherwise, there is no true love in me and I bring injustice, not peace, to those around me.”[1]
Sacrifice is the language of love. Love is spoken in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, who poured out his life for us on the cross. Love is spoken in the sacrifice of the Christian life, sharing in Christ’s life, death, and resurrection. And love is spoken in the sacrifice of parents, and pastors, and friends.
We live in a world short on love. Today, love is too often understood as romantic sentimentality rather than unbreakable commitment. But sentimentality is unsatisfying. Material things, and comfort, and pleasure bring only fleeting happiness. The truth is that we are all searching for real love, because we are all searching for meaning.
Love—real love—is about sacrifice, and redemption, and hope. Real love is at the heart of a rich, full life. 
; We are made for real love. And all that we do—in our lives, our careers, and our families, especially—should be rooted in our capacity for real, difficult, unfailing love.
But today, in a world short on love, we’re left without peace, and without joy.
In my priesthood, I have stood in front of abortion clinics to offer help to women experiencing unwanted pregnancies; I have prayed with the neglected elderly; and I have buried young victims of violence. I have seen the isolation, the injustice, and the sadness that comes from a world short on love. Mother Teresa believed, as do I, that much of the world’s unhappiness and injustice begins with a disregard for the miracle of life created in the womb of mothers. Today, our culture rejects love when it rejects the gift of new life, through the use of contraception
Mother Teresa said that, “in destroying the power of giving life, through contraception, a husband or wife…destroys the gift of love.”
Husbands and wives are made to freely offer themselves as gifts to one another in friendship, and to share in the life-giving love of God.
He created marriage to be unifying and procreative. To join husband and wife inseparably in the mission of love, and to bring forth from that love something new.
Contraception robs the freedom for those possibilities.
God made us to love and to be loved. He made us to delight in the power of sexual love to bring forth new human beings, children of God, created with immortal souls. Our Church has always taught that rejecting the gift of children erodes the love between husband and wife: it distorts the unitive and procreative nature of marriage. The use of contraception gravely and seriously disrupts the sacrificial, holy, and loving meaning of marriage itself.
The Church continues to call Catholic couples to unity and procreativity. Marriage is a call to greatness—to loving as God loves—freely, creatively, and generously. God himself is a community of love—the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Christian marriage is an invitation to imitate, and to know, and to share in the joyful freedom of God’s love, an echo of the Holy Trinity.
_________
In 1991, my predecessor, Bishop Glennon P. Flavin, wrote that “there can be no true happiness in your lives unless God is very much a part of your marriage covenant. To expect to find happiness in sin is to look for good in evil…. To keep God in your married life, to trust in his wisdom and love, and to obey his laws…will deepen your love for each other and will bring to you that inner peace of mind and heart which is the reward of a good conscience.”[2]
God is present in every marriage, and present during every marital embrace. He created sexuality so that males and females could mirror the Trinity: forming, in their sexual union, the life-long bonds of family. God chose to make spouses cooperators with him in creating new human lives, destined for eternity. Those who use contraception diminish their power to unite and they give up the opportunity to cooperate with God in the creation of life.
As Bishop of Lincoln, I repeat the words of Bishop Flavin. Dear married men and women: I exhort you to reject the use of contraception in your marriage. I challenge you to be open to God’s loving plan for your life. I invite you to share in the gift of God’s life-giving love. I fervently believe that in God’s plan, you will rediscover real love for your spouse, your children, for God, and for the Church. I know that in this openness to life, you will find the rich adventure for which you were made.
Our culture often teaches us that children are more a burden than a gift—that families impede our freedom and diminish our finances. We live in a world where large families are the objects of spectacle and derision, instead of the ordinary consequence of a loving marriage entrusted to God’s providence. But children should not be feared as a threat or a burden, but rather seen as a sign of hope for the future.
In 1995, Blessed John Paul II wrote that our culture suffers from a “hedonistic mentality unwilling to accept responsibility in matters of sexuality, and… a self-centered concept of freedom, which regards procreation as an obstacle to personal fulfilment. ”[3] Generous, life-giving spousal love is the antitode to hedonism and immaturity: parents gladly give up frivolous pursuits and selfishness for the intensely more meaningful work of loving and educating their children.
In the Diocese of Lincoln, I am grateful for the example of hundreds of families who have opened themselves freely and generously to children. Some have been given large families, and some have not. And of course, a few suffer the very difficult, hidden cross of infertility or low fertility. The mystery of God’s plan for our lives is incomprehensible. But the joy of these families, whether or not they bear many children, disproves the claims of the contraceptive mentality.
Dear brothers and sisters, Blessed John Paul II reminded us that, “man is called to a fullness of life which far exceeds the dimensions of his earthly existence, because it consists in sharing the very life of God.”[4] The sexual intimacy of marriage, the most intimate kind of human friendship, is a pathway to sharing in God’s own life. It is a pathway to the fullness of our own human life; it is a means of participating in the incredible love of God. Contraception impedes our share in God’s creative love. And thus it impedes our joy.
The joy of families living in accord with God’s plan animates and enriches our community with a spirit of vitality and enthusiasm. The example of your friends and neighbors demonstrates that while children require sacrifice, they are also the source of joy, meaning, and of peace. Who does not understand the great gift of a loving family?
Yes, being lovingly open to children requires sacrifice. But sacrifice is the harbinger of true joy. Dear brothers and sisters, I invite you to be open to joy.
_________
Of course, there are some true and legitimate reasons why, at certain times, families may discern being called to the sacrifice of delaying children. For families with serious mental, physical, or emotional health problems, or who are experiencing dire financial troubles, bearing children might best be delayed. The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that couples must have “just” reasons to delay childbearing. For couples facing difficulties of various kinds, the Church recommends Natural Family Planning: a method for making choices about engaging in fruitful sexual relations.
Natural Family Planning does not destroy the power to give life: instead, it challenges couples to discern prayerfully when to engage in life-giving sexual acts. It is an integrated, organic and holistic approach to fertility care.
Natural Family Planning is a reliable and trustworthy way to regulate fertility, is easy to learn, and can be a source of unity for couples. To be sure, using NFP requires sacrifice and patience, but sacrifice and patience are not obstacles to love, they are a part of love itself. Used correctly, NFP forms gentle, generous husbands, and selfless, patient wives. It can become a school of virtuous and holy love.
Those who confine sexual intimacy to the infertile times of the month are not engaging in contraceptive practices. They do not attempt to make a potentially fertile act infertile. They sacrificially abstain during the fertile time precisely because they respect fertility; they do not want to violate it; they do not want to treat the gift of fertility as a burden.
In some relatively rare instances, Natural Family Planning is used by couples with a contraceptive mentality. Too often couples can choose to abstain from fertility by default, or out of fear of the consequences of new life. I encourage all couples who use Natural Family Planning to be very open with each other concerning the reasons they think it right to limit their family size, to take their thoughts to God, and to pray for his guidance. Do we let fear, anxiety, or worry determine the size of our families? Do we entrust ourselves to the Lord, whose generosity provides for all of our needs?
“Perfect love,” scripture teaches, “casts out fear.”[5]
Dear friends, I exhort you to openness in married life. I exhort you to trust in God’s abundant providence.
_________
I would like to address in a special way Catholic physicians, pharmacists and other healthcare professionals. The noble aim of your profession is to aid men and women as they live according to God’s perfect plan. Bishop Flavin wrote that, as professionals, “you are in a position to be God’s instruments in manifesting his truth, and his love.”[6]
No Catholic healthcare provider, in good conscience, should engage in the practice of medicine by undermining the gift of fertility. There is no legitimate medical reason to aid in the acts of contraception or sterilization. No Catholic physician can honestly argue otherwise.
Healthcare is the art of healing. Contraception and sterilization may never be considered healthcare. Contraception and sterilization denigrate and degrade the body’s very purpose. Fertility is an ordinary function of health and human flourishing; and an extraordinary participation in God’s creative love. Contraception and sterilization stifle the natural and the supernatural processes of marriage, and cause grave harm. They treat fertility as though it were a terrible inconvenience, or even a physical defect that needs to be treated.
Contraception attempts to prevent life from the beginning, and when that fails, some contraception destroys newly created life. Many contraceptives work by preventing the implantation of an embryonic human being in the uterus of his or her mother.
Contraception is generally regarded by the medical community as the ordinary standard of care for women. The Church’s teachings are often regarded as being opposed to the health and well-being of women. But apart from the moral and spiritual dangers of contraception, there are also grave physical risks to the use of most chemical contraceptives. Current medical literature overwhelmingly confirms that contraception puts women at risk for serious health problems, which doctors should consider very carefully.
Some women have health conditions that are better endured when treated by hormonal contraceptives. But the effects of contraception often mask the underlying conditions that endanger women’s health. Today, there are safe, natural means of correcting hormonal imbalances, and solving the conditions that are often treated by contraception.
Contraception is an unhealthy standard of care. All doctors can do better.
Catholic physicians are called to help their patients and their colleagues learn the truth about the dangers of contraception and sterilization. The good example of a physician who refuses to prescribe contraceptives and perform sterilizations or a pharmacist who refuses to distribute contraceptives in spite of antagonism, financial loss, or professional pressure is an opportunity to participate in the suffering of Jesus Christ. I am grateful for the Catholic physicians and pharmacists who evangelize their patients and colleagues through a commitment to the truth.
_________
Tragically, a majority of people in our culture and even in our Church, have used contraception. Much of the responsibility for that lies in the fact that too few have ever been exposed to clear and consistent teaching on the subject. But the natural consequences of our culture’s contraceptive mentality are clear. Mother Teresa reflected that “once living love is destroyed by contraception, abortion follows very easily.”[7] She was right. Cultural attitudes that reject the gift of life lead very easily to social acceptance for abortion, for no-fault divorce, and for fatherless families. For fifty years, America has accepted the use of contraception, and the consequences have been dire.
Dear brothers and sisters, I encourage you to read the encyclical by Pope Paul VI, Humanae Vitae with your spouse, or in your parish. Consider also Married Love and the Gift of Life, written by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops.
Dear brother priests, I encourage you to preach about the dangers of contraception, and to visit with families in your parish about this issue.
Dear brothers and sisters, if you have used or prescribed contraception, the merciful love of God awaits. Healing is possible—in the sacrament of penance. If you have used or supported contraception, I pray that you will stop, and that you will avail yourself of God’s tender mercy by making a good heartfelt confession.
_________
Today, openness to children is rarely celebrated, rarely understood, and rarely supported. To many, the Church’s teachings on life seem oppressive or old-fashioned. Many believe that the Church asks too great a sacrifice.
But sacrifice is the language of love. And in sacrifice, we speak the language of God himself. I am calling you, dear brothers and sisters, to encounter Christ in your love for one another. I am calling you to rich and abundant family life. I am calling you to rejoice in the love, and the sacrifice, for which you were made. I am calling your family to share in the creative, active love of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
I pray that in true sacrifice, each of you will know perfect joy.
Through the intercession of Our Lady of the Annunciation, the Holy Family, and in the love of Jesus Christ,
+James D. Conley
Bishop of Lincoln
March 25, 2014
Solemnity of the Annunciation of the Lord
[1] Blessed Teresa of Calcutta. National Prayer Breakfast, 1994.
[2] Glennon P. Flavin, Pastoral Letter to Catholic Couples and Physicians. September 26, 1991
[3] Blessed John Paul II. Evangelium Vitae, 13.
[7] Blessed Teresa of Calcutta. National Prayer Breakfast, 1994.
![Bishop James D. Conley’s Letter to Catholic Families & Healthcare Providers in the Diocese of Lincoln]()
by Catherine | Mar 25, 2014 | Faith, Family
In case you didn’t know it, I love our shepherd here in Omaha. In fact, I (accidentally) had my own private audience with him last week!
Did you know that today is the Solemnity of the Annunication? Today, the Catholic Church celebrate’s Mary’s “yes” to become the Mother of Jesus. If you’d like to learn more about the Annunciation and why it’s kinda a big deal, read Jimmy Akin’s helpful blog post.
On this Solemnity of the Annunciation, Bishop James D. Conley of the Diocese of Lincoln, released a letter to Catholic families & healthcare providers. The letter charges those in the Lincoln Diocese to respond to the gift of the Incarnation through openness to life. Please read the letter in its entirety. I know our family will be in good hands when we join the Diocese of Lincoln this summer!
To download an audio copy of Bishop Conley’s letter, click here.
Below is the full letter from Bishop Conley:
The Language of Love
A letter to the Catholic families and healthcare providers of the Diocese of Lincoln
Most Reverend James D. Conley, STL
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
|
Additional Resources
Click here for a PDF version of The Language of Love.
In Obedience to Christ: A Pastoral Letter To Catholic Couples and Physicians on the Issue of Contraception
Mother Teresa, 1994 National Prayer Breakfast | Click here.
|
Twenty years ago, Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta stood before the President of the United States, before senators and congressmen, before justices of the United States Supreme Court. She spoke about her work among the world’s poor. She spoke about justice and compassion. Most importantly, she spoke about love.
“Love,” she told them, “has to hurt. I must be willing to give whatever it takes not to harm other people and, in fact, to do good to them. This requires that I be willing to give until it hurts. Otherwise, there is no true love in me and I bring injustice, not peace, to those around me.”[1]
Sacrifice is the language of love. Love is spoken in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, who poured out his life for us on the cross. Love is spoken in the sacrifice of the Christian life, sharing in Christ’s life, death, and resurrection. And love is spoken in the sacrifice of parents, and pastors, and friends.
We live in a world short on love. Today, love is too often understood as romantic sentimentality rather than unbreakable commitment. But sentimentality is unsatisfying. Material things, and comfort, and pleasure bring only fleeting happiness. The truth is that we are all searching for real love, because we are all searching for meaning.
Love—real love—is about sacrifice, and redemption, and hope. Real love is at the heart of a rich, full life. We are made for real love. And all that we do—in our lives, our careers, and our families, especially—should be rooted in our capacity for real, difficult, unfailing love.
But today, in a world short on love, we’re left without peace, and without joy.
In my priesthood, I have stood in front of abortion clinics to offer help to women experiencing unwanted pregnancies; I have prayed with the neglected elderly; and I have buried young victims of violence. I have seen the isolation, the injustice, and the sadness that comes from a world short on love. Mother Teresa believed, as do I, that much of the world’s unhappiness and injustice begins with a disregard for the miracle of life created in the womb of mothers. Today, our culture rejects love when it rejects the gift of new life, through the use of contraception
Mother Teresa said that, “in destroying the power of giving life, through contraception, a husband or wife…destroys the gift of love.”
Husbands and wives are made to freely offer themselves as gifts to one another in friendship, and to share in the life-giving love of God.
He created marriage to be unifying and procreative. To join husband and wife inseparably in the mission of love, and to bring forth from that love something new.
Contraception robs the freedom for those possibilities.
God made us to love and to be loved. He made us to delight in the power of sexual love to bring forth new human beings, children of God, created with immortal souls. Our Church has always taught that rejecting the gift of children erodes the love between husband and wife: it distorts the unitive and procreative nature of marriage. The use of contraception gravely and seriously disrupts the sacrificial, holy, and loving meaning of marriage itself.
The Church continues to call Catholic couples to unity and procreativity. Marriage is a call to greatness—to loving as God loves—freely, creatively, and generously. God himself is a community of love—the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Christian marriage is an invitation to imitate, and to know, and to share in the joyful freedom of God’s love, an echo of the Holy Trinity.
_________
In 1991, my predecessor, Bishop Glennon P. Flavin, wrote that “there can be no true happiness in your lives unless God is very much a part of your marriage covenant. To expect to find happiness in sin is to look for good in evil…. To keep God in your married life, to trust in his wisdom and love, and to obey his laws…will deepen your love for each other and will bring to you that inner peace of mind and heart which is the reward of a good conscience.”[2]
God is present in every marriage, and present during every marital embrace. He created sexuality so that males and females could mirror the Trinity: forming, in their sexual union, the life-long bonds of family. God chose to make spouses cooperators with him in creating new human lives, destined for eternity. Those who use contraception diminish their power to unite and they give up the opportunity to cooperate with God in the creation of life.
As Bishop of Lincoln, I repeat the words of Bishop Flavin. Dear married men and women: I exhort you to reject the use of contraception in your marriage. I challenge you to be open to God’s loving plan for your life. I invite you to share in the gift of God’s life-giving love. I fervently believe that in God’s plan, you will rediscover real love for your spouse, your children, for God, and for the Church. I know that in this openness to life, you will find the rich adventure for which you were made.
Our culture often teaches us that children are more a burden than a gift—that families impede our freedom and diminish our finances. We live in a world where large families are the objects of spectacle and derision, instead of the ordinary consequence of a loving marriage entrusted to God’s providence. But children should not be feared as a threat or a burden, but rather seen as a sign of hope for the future.
In 1995, Blessed John Paul II wrote that our culture suffers from a “hedonistic mentality unwilling to accept responsibility in matters of sexuality, and… a self-centered concept of freedom, which regards procreation as an obstacle to personal fulfilment. ”[3] Generous, life-giving spousal love is the antitode to hedonism and immaturity: parents gladly give up frivolous pursuits and selfishness for the intensely more meaningful work of loving and educating their children.
In the Diocese of Lincoln, I am grateful for the example of hundreds of families who have opened themselves freely and generously to children. Some have been given large families, and some have not. And of course, a few suffer the very difficult, hidden cross of infertility or low fertility. The mystery of God’s plan for our lives is incomprehensible. But the joy of these families, whether or not they bear many children, disproves the claims of the contraceptive mentality.
Dear brothers and sisters, Blessed John Paul II reminded us that, “man is called to a fullness of life which far exceeds the dimensions of his earthly existence, because it consists in sharing the very life of God.”[4] The sexual intimacy of marriage, the most intimate kind of human friendship, is a pathway to sharing in God’s own life. It is a pathway to the fullness of our own human life; it is a means of participating in the incredible love of God. Contraception impedes our share in God’s creative love. And thus it impedes our joy.
The joy of families living in accord with God’s plan animates and enriches our community with a spirit of vitality and enthusiasm. The example of your friends and neighbors demonstrates that while children require sacrifice, they are also the source of joy, meaning, and of peace. Who does not understand the great gift of a loving family?
Yes, being lovingly open to children requires sacrifice. But sacrifice is the harbinger of true joy. Dear brothers and sisters, I invite you to be open to joy.
_________
Of course, there are some true and legitimate reasons why, at certain times, families may discern being called to the sacrifice of delaying children. For families with serious mental, physical, or emotional health problems, or who are experiencing dire financial troubles, bearing children might best be delayed. The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that couples must have “just” reasons to delay childbearing. For couples facing difficulties of various kinds, the Church recommends Natural Family Planning: a method for making choices about engaging in fruitful sexual relations.
Natural Family Planning does not destroy the power to give life: instead, it challenges couples to discern prayerfully when to engage in life-giving sexual acts. It is an integrated, organic and holistic approach to fertility care.
Natural Family Planning is a reliable and trustworthy way to regulate fertility, is easy to learn, and can be a source of unity for couples. To be sure, using NFP requires sacrifice and patience, but sacrifice and patience are not obstacles to love, they are a part of love itself. Used correctly, NFP forms gentle, generous husbands, and selfless, patient wives. It can become a school of virtuous and holy love.
Those who confine sexual intimacy to the infertile times of the month are not engaging in contraceptive practices. They do not attempt to make a potentially fertile act infertile. They sacrificially abstain during the fertile time precisely because they respect fertility; they do not want to violate it; they do not want to treat the gift of fertility as a burden.
In some relatively rare instances, Natural Family Planning is used by couples with a contraceptive mentality. Too often couples can choose to abstain from fertility by default, or out of fear of the consequences of new life. I encourage all couples who use Natural Family Planning to be very open with each other concerning the reasons they think it right to limit their family size, to take their thoughts to God, and to pray for his guidance. Do we let fear, anxiety, or worry determine the size of our families? Do we entrust ourselves to the Lord, whose generosity provides for all of our needs?
“Perfect love,” scripture teaches, “casts out fear.”[5]
Dear friends, I exhort you to openness in married life. I exhort you to trust in God’s abundant providence.
_________
I would like to address in a special way Catholic physicians, pharmacists and other healthcare professionals. The noble aim of your profession is to aid men and women as they live according to God’s perfect plan. Bishop Flavin wrote that, as professionals, “you are in a position to be God’s instruments in manifesting his truth, and his love.”[6]
No Catholic healthcare provider, in good conscience, should engage in the practice of medicine by undermining the gift of fertility. There is no legitimate medical reason to aid in the acts of contraception or sterilization. No Catholic physician can honestly argue otherwise.
Healthcare is the art of healing. Contraception and sterilization may never be considered healthcare. Contraception and sterilization denigrate and degrade the body’s very purpose. Fertility is an ordinary function of health and human flourishing; and an extraordinary participation in God’s creative love. Contraception and sterilization stifle the natural and the supernatural processes of marriage, and cause grave harm. They treat fertility as though it were a terrible inconvenience, or even a physical defect that needs to be treated.
Contraception attempts to prevent life from the beginning, and when that fails, some contraception destroys newly created life. Many contraceptives work by preventing the implantation of an embryonic human being in the uterus of his or her mother.
Contraception is generally regarded by the medical community as the ordinary standard of care for women. The Church’s teachings are often regarded as being opposed to the health and well-being of women. But apart from the moral and spiritual dangers of contraception, there are also grave physical risks to the use of most chemical contraceptives. Current medical literature overwhelmingly confirms that contraception puts women at risk for serious health problems, which doctors should consider very carefully.
Some women have health conditions that are better endured when treated by hormonal contraceptives. But the effects of contraception often mask the underlying conditions that endanger women’s health. Today, there are safe, natural means of correcting hormonal imbalances, and solving the conditions that are often treated by contraception.
Contraception is an unhealthy standard of care. All doctors can do better.
Catholic physicians are called to help their patients and their colleagues learn the truth about the dangers of contraception and sterilization. The good example of a physician who refuses to prescribe contraceptives and perform sterilizations or a pharmacist who refuses to distribute contraceptives in spite of antagonism, financial loss, or professional pressure is an opportunity to participate in the suffering of Jesus Christ. I am grateful for the Catholic physicians and pharmacists who evangelize their patients and colleagues through a commitment to the truth.
_________
Tragically, a majority of people in our culture and even in our Church, have used contraception. Much of the responsibility for that lies in the fact that too few have ever been exposed to clear and consistent teaching on the subject. But the natural consequences of our culture’s contraceptive mentality are clear. Mother Teresa reflected that “once living love is destroyed by contraception, abortion follows very easily.”[7] She was right. Cultural attitudes that reject the gift of life lead very easily to social acceptance for abortion, for no-fault divorce, and for fatherless families. For fifty years, America has accepted the use of contraception, and the consequences have been dire.
Dear brothers and sisters, I encourage you to read the encyclical by Pope Paul VI, Humanae Vitae with your spouse, or in your parish. Consider also Married Love and the Gift of Life, written by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops.
Dear brother priests, I encourage you to preach about the dangers of contraception, and to visit with families in your parish about this issue.
Dear brothers and sisters, if you have used or prescribed contraception, the merciful love of God awaits. Healing is possible—in the sacrament of penance. If you have used or supported contraception, I pray that you will stop, and that you will avail yourself of God’s tender mercy by making a good heartfelt confession.
_________
Today, openness to children is rarely celebrated, rarely understood, and rarely supported. To many, the Church’s teachings on life seem oppressive or old-fashioned. Many believe that the Church asks too great a sacrifice.
But sacrifice is the language of love. And in sacrifice, we speak the language of God himself. I am calling you, dear brothers and sisters, to encounter Christ in your love for one another. I am calling you to rich and abundant family life. I am calling you to rejoice in the love, and the sacrifice, for which you were made. I am calling your family to share in the creative, active love of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
I pray that in true sacrifice, each of you will know perfect joy.
Through the intercession of Our Lady of the Annunciation, the Holy Family, and in the love of Jesus Christ,
+James D. Conley
Bishop of Lincoln
March 25, 2014
Solemnity of the Annunciation of the Lord
[1] Blessed Teresa of Calcutta. National Prayer Breakfast, 1994.
[2] Glennon P. Flavin, Pastoral Letter to Catholic Couples and Physicians. September 26, 1991
[3] Blessed John Paul II. Evangelium Vitae, 13.
[7] Blessed Teresa of Calcutta. National Prayer Breakfast, 1994.
![An unforgettable confession]()
by Catherine | Mar 23, 2014 | Faith
This Lent, Archbishop George Lucas is inviting all Catholics in the Archdiocese of Omaha to experience the sacrament of reconciliation through a program called “The Light Is On.”
This Lent, Catholics in the Archdiocese of Omaha, especially those who have been away from the Church or the sacrament, are invited to experience God’s mercy and forgiveness through the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
Catholic churches in the Archdiocese of Omaha will be open on Thursday evenings (March 13, 20, 27, April 3, 10) during Lent from 5:30 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. for Confession and quiet prayer.
Since my Bible study meets at my parish on Thursday evenings at 7:00 p.m., my gal pal Michelle thought this would be a perfect opportunity. She invited me to join her at 6:00 p.m. before our study to receive the sacrament together. How awesome is that?!
As we waited in my pastor’s line, I looked over my laundry list on a free app called “Mea Culpa.” (My friend, Jonathan, did a review on this app on his FOCUS blog here.) I downloaded Mea Culpa last week, and it is FANTASTIC!
The app is an opportunity for you to thoroughly examine your conscience before going to confession. Mea Culpa goes through extensive lists of possible venial and mortal sins you may have committed, organized by the Ten Commandments. The venial sins have a bug logo, and the mortal sins are noted with a skull and crossbones. If you’ve committed the sin, you simply swipe to the right to add it to your “Committed” list (noted by a doctor’s bag). If you’ve committed the sin more than once, swipe additional times to the right. You can also add notes to the sin to include any additional thoughts such as occasions of sin in this particular area, habits surrounding this sin, or a plan of action to avoid it in the future.
Additionally, the app allows you to create a passcode to protect your privacy. You can also create a daily examination reminder so that you remember to make a regular examination of conscience at the same time each day.
Eventually, the person in front of me exited the confessional. As I walked in, I noticed that our pastor’s name placard on the wall was covered with a sheet of paper that said, “Archbishop George J. Lucas.” I didn’t absorb the meaning of that sheet of paper until I found myself in the confessional, sitting face to face with his excellency, Archbishop Lucas.
 |
| The Most Reverend George J. Lucas |
Yup, I went to confession WITH THE ARCHBISHOP! As it turned out, he was at my parish to celebrate a Mass to recognize the area altar servers, and he graciously offered his time in the confessional before the Mass.
He was visibly amused at how starstruck I was when I saw his face. We got started, and I apologized for bringing my newfangled tablet in to the confessional. I explained how this new app, Mea Culpa, helped me to create a very thorough list and that I was afraid I might forget some of my sins if I didn’t bring it with me. He smiled and said that he had heard of it and was glad that it would help me to make a good confession.
It’s always so humbling to go through your laundry list of sins, but it was especially humbling to do so with his excellency listening a few feet across from me. After I finished, Archbishop Lucas spent a few minutes giving me some of the most convicting and encouraging words I’ve ever heard. He very wisely noticed that a good portion of my sins revolve around my vocation. Because I spend most of my day performing my duties as wife and mother, my husband and children are almost always the ones on the receiving end of my sins. He encouraged me to take heart and trust that precisely because Jesus asked me to live out my vocation, He will meet me there. Archbishop Lucas encouraged me to leave the confessional with the intention to find Christ in the midst of my vocation and to live a life of active thanksgiving. In seeking out Christ during the day-to-day life as a wife and mother, he said I would start seeing the ways that Christ is blessing even the ordinary moments. He encouraged me to start mentally thanking Christ for those blessings and to verbally thank those around me.
Have I mentioned how much I love confession?
After Archbishop Lucas’ convicting words, he invited me to say an Act of Contrition. In case you aren’t Catholic, here’s the prayer:
O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins, beca
use I dread the loss of heaven, and the pains of hell;
but most of all because they offend Thee, my God,
Who are all good and deserving of all my love.
I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace,
to sin no more and avoid the near occasions of sin. Amen
Confession always makes me cry, but the graces I was experiencing that night overwhelmed me. When I got to the words, “but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who are all good and deserving of all my love,” I started crying. Ugly crying. I didn’t come prepared with tissues, so I had to grab a few from the box sitting next to Archbishop Lucas’ chair. I eventually made it to the end of the prayer and heard Archbishop Lucas say the most beautiful words I will hear this side of heaven.
“I absolve you of your sins…”
Hearing those words after I rattle off my sins and apologize for them always brings me such peace. With tears streaming down my face, I thanked his excellency, wished him a blessed Lent, and told him that I would be praying for him. He thanked me and wished me the same. (And, no, Star Wars fans, I did not say, “May the force be with you,” to our Archbishop named George Lucas!)
I held the door open for my friend Michelle and whispered, “It isn’t Father Dan; it’s ARCHBISHOP LUCAS!” I wish I had a picture of her face in that moment. I’ll never forget it!
As we passed each other and I squeezed her arm, the image of St. Téresa de Ávila and her fellow sisters came to mind. When I studied abroad in Spain, I had the opportunity to visit the confessional where St. Téresa and her sisters regularly went. My tour guide told a story that has become part of Catholic legend. (My friend, Lisa Schmidt, from The Practicing Catholic wrote about the same story here.) After going to confession herself, St. Téresa would wait for the other sisters. As each sister emerged from the confessional, St. Téresa would take them by the shoulders and convict them with the words, “Begin again! Begin again!”
In no way am I even remotely trying to compare myself to St. Téresa. I just love the image of the sisters lifting one another up outside of the confessional. I couldn’t help but think how lucky I am to have a friend that was doing the same thing for me. It’s pretty awesome having friends that encourage me to participate in the sacraments and begin again.
So, that’s my unforgettable confession story. Do you have one?
