![Prayers For Our GodTeens Family]()
by Catherine | Sep 3, 2014 | Faith, Family
When Philip was in high school, he participated in a fantastic program called GodTeens, and he always talked about it being his favorite part of high school.
A small group (12-15) of high school freshmen meet their Godparent couple in the fall. They meet at the Godparent couple’s house once a week throughout their time in high school, talking about the Faith, praying together, and asking questions. The hope is to build up the Body of Christ for our Church’s young people within the context of a family.
Philip and I were asked to participate as Godparents in our parish this fall. It’s a 4-year commitment for the Godparent couples who are expected to remain with the same group throughout their time in high school. After praying about it, Philip and I agreed that we thought God was asking this of us.
As we’ve been told, the windows of opportunity to participate in GodTeens seem to be when your children are really young or after they have left the nest. Otherwise, after school activities quickly take over your evenings, and it’s tough to make the 4-year commitment. So, we embark on this journey with our oldest, Jane, being a 4-year-old preschool. When we “graduate,” Jane will be finishing 2nd grade as an 8-year-old.
We are meeting our GodTeen freshmen tonight at the parish, and we are so excited! When I looked at today’s readings this morning, I laughed. God has this way of making me read exactly what I need to hear. From today’s 1st Reading from 1 Corinthians:
I planted, Apollos watered, but God caused the growth.
Therefore, neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything,
but only God, who causes the growth.
That is EXACTLY the passage our parish director of religious education chose the year I taught the 8th graders in preparation for Confirmation! So long as Philip and I remember that our job is to plant the seeds and water them carefully, the Holy Spirit will do the heavy lifting by causing the growth.
Please join us in praying for our GodTeen freshmen. We are so eager to meet them and start becoming a part of their lives on a regular basis. Also, please pray that Philip and I can somehow be a source of strength, peace, and encouragement throughout their high school years (and beyond!). Please pray that God can make their hearts fertile ground on which to plant these next four years. Please pray that we receive the gift of wisdom as we pray with and for these kids. Please pray that our own hearts will be transformed and grow closer to God through the process. Please pray that being a GodTeens family is a source of blessing for all of us–the GodTeens, the GodTeen families, our own children, our marriage, and our family.
We are so impressed with the level of involvement at our parish, and are so excited to participate in this awesome ministry.
God, we’ll plant those itty bitty mustard seeds these four years and water, water, water. Please cause the growth!
![Book Review: Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning by Simcha Fisher]()
by Catherine | Aug 26, 2014 | Faith, Marriage
I first discovered Simcha Fisher over at the National Catholic Register, and I’ve been following her blog, “I Have to Sit Down,” for a few years. I’m always sharing her stuff on social media and insisting that everyone I know read her stuff, so I knew I’d love her book, The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning.
 |
Cover photo from Amazon
I love this cover! |
The book was published in October 2013, but I didn’t get around to buying the book and reading it until last week. I absolutely loved it! Now, I’m doing what I always do with Simcha’s writing, and I am insisting that you read The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning.
She had me at the intro:
NFP boosters tend to paint a rosy picture because it’s a hard sell, persuading people to turn their sex lives over to God. And so, not wanting to scare anyone off, they emphasize the benefits while glossing over the sacrifices that often come along as a matched set.
I understand why they do this. You’re not going to convert the masses by saying, ‘Hey, everybody! Who’s ready for some redemptive suffering?’ But so many couples launch into NFP expecting sunshine and buttercups and are horrified to discover, instead, the Cross.
Unprepared to make any changes, they end up resenting their spouses and the Church in general–or else they feel guilty and ashamed to be struggling, like there’s something wrong with them for not lovin’ every minute of it.
That’s who this book is for.
FINALLY!!! Thank you, Simcha! Thank you for your honesty, your wisdom, and especially for your humor. Thank you for admitting that NFP is hard and that it isn’t always glamorous. After reading your book, with all of its honesty about finding the Cross through NFP, you’d think I’d be looking for the quickest escape from NFP.
Yet, I walk away from The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning more determined than ever to keep sticking with it. The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning affirmed that: it’s normal for NFP to be hard, it takes most couples a lifetime to figure out this stuff (hooray for lifetime monogamy!), we are soooooooo not alone, prudence and generosity aren’t at odds after all, Love is always better than fairness, and that we’ve “chosen the better part” by dealing with the effects of sex head on in our marriage.
Six years in, we still don’t have this NFP or Theology of the Body stuff down. God willing, we will move forward day to day, month to month, and year to year, propelled with the sacramental graces of marriage to keep learning more about how our marital union reflects Love to the world.
In the meantime, we are grateful for the gift of our fertility and married life. Despite that, we’ll keep stumbling clumsily, we will undoubtedly hurt each other, and we will end up in the confessional like the couple on the cover. (Hopefully, for Father’s sake, we will be clothed!) Fortunately, as Fulton J. Sheen wrote, it takes Three to Get Married. Any problems in marriage will always be on us, and we get to turn to Him for strength, forgiveness, trust, perseverance, and the grace to do better tomorrow. He’ll make us into the spouses we are supposed to be if we let Him.
Thank you for this book, Simcha. I wish we had it to read during our engagement, and we plan on gifting it to married couples in the future!
![Book Review: Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning by Simcha Fisher]()
by Catherine | Aug 26, 2014 | Faith, Marriage
I first discovered Simcha Fisher over at the National Catholic Register, and I’ve been following her blog, “I Have to Sit Down,” for a few years. I’m always sharing her stuff on social media and insisting that everyone I know read her stuff, so I knew I’d love her book, The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning.
|
Cover photo from Amazon
I love this cover! |
The book was published in October 2013, but I didn’t get around to buying the book and reading it until last week. I absolutely loved it! Now, I’m doing what I always do with Simcha’s writing, and I am insisting that you read The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning.
She had me at the intro:
NFP boosters tend to paint a rosy picture because it’s a hard sell, persuading people to turn their sex lives over to God. And so, not wanting to scare anyone off, they emphasize the benefits while glossing over the sacrifices that often come along as a matched set.
I understand why they do this. You’re not going to convert the masses by saying, ‘Hey, everybody! Who’s ready for some redemptive suffering?’ But so many couples launch into NFP expecting sunshine and buttercups and are horrified to discover, instead, the Cross.
Unprepared to make any changes, they end up resenting their spouses and the Church in general–or else they feel guilty and ashamed to be struggling, like there’s something wrong with them for not lovin’ every minute of it.
That’s who this book is for.
FINALLY!!! Thank you, Simcha! Thank you for your honesty, your wisdom, and especially for your humor. Thank you for admitting that NFP is hard and that it isn’t always glamorous. After reading your book, with all of its honesty about finding the Cross through NFP, you’d think I’d be looking for the quickest escape from NFP.
Yet, I walk away from The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning more determined than ever to keep sticking with it. The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning affirmed that: it’s normal for NFP to be hard, it takes most couples a lifetime to figure out this stuff (hooray for lifetime monogamy!), we are soooooooo not alone, prudence and generosity aren’t at odds after all, Love is always better than fairness, and that we’ve “chosen the better part” by dealing with the effects of sex head on in our marriage.
Six years in, we still don’t have this NFP or Theology of the Body stuff down. God willing, we will move forward day to day, month to month, and year to year, propelled with the sacramental graces of marriage to keep learning more about how our marital union reflects Love to the world.
In the meantime, we are grateful for the gift of our fertility and married life. Despite that, we’ll keep stumbling clumsily, we will undoubtedly hurt each other, and we will end up in the confessional like the couple on the cover. (Hopefully, for Father’s sake, we will be clothed!) Fortunately, as Fulton J. Sheen wrote, it takes Three to Get Married. Any problems in marriage will always be on us, and we get to turn to Him for strength, forgiveness, trust, perseverance, and the grace to do better tomorrow. He’ll make us into the spouses we are supposed to be if we let Him.
Thank you for this book, Simcha. I wish we had it to read during our engagement, and we plan on gifting it to married couples in the future!
![You Got it Wrong This Time, Matt Walsh]()
by Catherine | Aug 12, 2014 | Faith
Matt Walsh,
Usually, I love your stuff. It’s refreshing reading your against the grain, unapologetic Christian view. But today, you got it wrong when you wrote, “Robin Williams didn’t die from a disease, he died from his choice.” I hope you’ll pray about what this and respond because your column is a scandal to Christianity.
You wrote:
First, suicide does not claim anyone against their will. No matter how depressed you are, you never have to make that choice. That choice. Whether you call depression a disease or not, please don’t make the mistake of saying that someone who commits suicide “died from depression.” No, he died from his choice. He died by his own hand. Depression will not appear on the autopsy report, because it can’t kill you on its own. It needs you to pull the trigger, take the pills, or hang the rope. To act like death by suicide is exactly analogous to death by malaria or heart failure is to steal hope from the suicidal person. We think we are comforting him, but in fact we are convincing him that he is powerless. We are giving him a way out, an excuse. Sometimes that’s all he needs — the last straw.
Depression ends up killing because the person sees no other choice than suicide. Of course, suicide requires that the person chooses to “pull the strigger, take the pills, or hang the rope,” but have you stopped to consider whether the choice to commit suicide is a free one or not?
In the Catholic Church, we have the distinction between venial and mortal sins. (For the full explanation, check out Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraphs 1854-1864.) Suicide would fall into the category of a mortal sin. Yet, in paragraph 1857 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, we learn,
“For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: ‘Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent.'”
When it comes to suicide, the Church understands that the suffering person may not be freely making that choice to end their life. While suicide itself is considered a mortal sin, the culpability of the individual is known only to God.* Edit: A reader helped me to tweak the theology here. The action of suicide itself is not a mortal sin. If suicide is coupled with full knowledge and full consent, then it becomes a mortal sin.
“Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide. We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives.” – Catechism of the Catholic Church, Paragraph 2282-2283
So, we pray for Robin Williams’ soul, we pray for the souls of those who have committed suicide, we pray for those suffering from depression, we pray for a greater understanding of the disease, we pray for effective treatments, we pray for those who work to heal the afflicted (physically, emotionally, spiritually), and we pray for those mourning their loved ones. We pray that the loving, merciful God who brought all of us into existence will bring us back to Himself.
Instead of condemning the suffering for choosing suicide, let’s start figuring out how we can help the suffering to see that life is always the better choice. Let’s unburden them by helping to carry their crosses alongside them. It’s time for those of us not suffering from depression to stop being indifferent and to start reaching out.
“What’s wrong with death, sir? What are we so mortally afraid of? Why can’t we treat death with a certain amount of humanity and dignity, and decency, and God forbid, maybe even humor. Death is not the enemy, gentlemen. If we’re going to fight a disease, let’s fight one of the most terrible diseases of all–indifference.” – Robin Williams as “Hunter Patch Adams”
Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
by Catherine | Aug 4, 2014 | Faith, Family
Do you love Monday mornings like I do? I love the fresh start–mostly because I usually (99.9% of the time) feel like I need the fresh start.
This Monday morning, I’m asking for your prayers for patience with the kids and a reminder of the significance of this vocation. I need to stop yelling. I need to go across the room, get down on the kids’ level, and make eye contact when I’m making requests. I need to enlist them to help more–both because they like to help and because they need to learn these skills as they go. I need to remain patient as they learn their new skills. I need to remember that they are acting appropriate for their age. When they are not acting appropriate for their age, I need to discipline effectively. I need to intervene ASAP and be consistent. I need to help them work through their emotions. I need to take deep breaths before I discipline or swoop in when they’re needing an intervention. I need to have more “time-ins” of quality time than “time-outs.” I need to remember that they are my vocation and not an obstacle to accomplishing it.
In trying to do all of this, I appreciate your prayers, but I need one more favor: Can you please let me pray for you? Can you please share your intentions with me? In my last post, I wrote about how I’m keeping a journal full of intentions. When I’m tempted to do all of the things I’m trying to avoid (yelling, nagging, going it alone with the chores, etc.), I want to have a list of prayer intentions to turn to. As I go about my day, knowing that I have a mission to unite whatever little things I’m struggling with to the cross for the sake of your prayer intentions will give me the drive and motivation to:
- be a better mama
- put suffering (big and small) to work for good
Can we start this week off right together? Can I pray for you, and can you please (please, please, please???) pray for me?
![When I'm Dying, Please Do This]()
by Catherine | Aug 1, 2014 | Faith
I’ve become a Father John Riccardo podcast junkie. I’m still processing his podcast on the sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick. I learned some great insights into the sacrament itself. More importantly, Father Riccardo reminded me of the tremendous dignity the suffering and dying have. We all should listen to the show, but those of us who are either dying ourselves or know someone on their deathbed need to hear these words. (Click this link to access the podcast.) Reject what the world says about the dying, and remind them of their invaluable mission:
“One of the key words in the Christian life is to ‘participate’ or to ‘cooperate with.’ There’s one redeemer. His name is Jesus, and yet He wants you and me to participate with Him in the work of redemption. We do that in a particular way when we suffer. That’s why I’m of the opinion that no one’s prayers are more powerful than the prayers of somebody who suffers, because they’re being conformed to Christ.
So, when you take Communion to the homebound or to the people in nursing homes, don’t just bring them the Eucharist. Bring them intentions. Let them know, because the challenge when you’re sick, especially when you’re dying, is that you’re useless.
You know, like, ‘The people out there are having all the fun. They have a quality of life. I’m lying here in my bed in traction. What good am I?’
‘Well, here’s what good you are. You’re participating with the Lord in the work of redeeming the human race. You are not wasting away here. He is inviting you to share in his cross. Is it romantic? No. Is it fun? No. Will you see the payoff of it here? No, at least probably not. But one day you’ll see it.’
And, so, give them intentions. Give them names of people. Just say, ‘You know what, I want to ask you, because I really do think that your prayers are so significant because you’re sharing right now in his passion. If you would pray for these people, would you please do that?’
And almost all the time, you will see somebody sit like this (sitting up). You’re not simply giving them something to do; you’re giving them a sense of worth. You’ll see them begin to stand up or sit back. Well, now there’s a sense of dignity.
‘Now the Lord can use me. He’s not done with me.’
‘Why am I lying here still? Why hasn’t He taken me?’
‘Well, he hasn’t taken you because he’s using you to work with him in redeeming the world, that’s why! Would it be great to be home? Sure, it would, but there’s more to do still. So, hang in, and pray for these people (on the list that you give them).'”
When I’m dying, please do what Fr. Riccardo says. First, please bring a priest. Ask that I receive Anointing of the Sick. Then, be bullheaded and don’t let me waste an ounce of my suffering. Bring me long lists of intentions. Tell me to unite any of my suffering to Jesus’ cross. Remind me of the important job I have to do.
“Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is the Church.” (Colossians 1:24)
What’s lacking in His suffering? Well, nothing. “It is finished.” (John 19:30)
Yet, He mystically invites us to participate in his suffering so that we can help redeem the world. He’ll do the redeeming since he’s the only redeemer, but my membership in the Body of Christ gives me dignity and a mission. Even on my death bed, I will have the supreme dignity of being made in His image and likeness. Until I breathe my last, I will have a mission to unite any sufferings I have to the cross to help redeem the world.
When I need an example of someone who knew how to suffer well, bring me these images of St. John Paul II:
Better yet, don’t wait until I’m on my death bed to do all of that. As Fr. Riccardo said in the podcast, “we’re all terminal” from the moment we’re born. Teach me how to get into the practice of doing all of this before I’m at death’s door. No more wasting the bad days. Remind me how to “offer it up.” If you think I need it, remind me that Anointing of the Sick isn’t just for the dying. God willing, with your help, I’ll be spiritually fit enough to die a holy death whenever that time comes.
For now, to help me train toward that goal, I’m keeping a list of intentions. I’m going to add to it whenever someone asks me to pray for them. Then, when I’m having pity parties or feeling overwhelmed with whatever suffering (big or small) that’s going on, I’ll open up my intentions list. It won’t end the suffering, but it’ll give it purpose. With enough practice, I pray that I’ll remem
ber when I’m ‘just’ getting chemo, lying in a hospital bed, sitting in a nursing home, or entering my last days of hospice care to give my suffering purpose. By God’s grace (and the bullheaded reminders of my loved ones), any suffering I experience will be put to work.
Will you please help me to start my training? Please share any intentions you have! Then, if you hear me complaining or having a pity party about something, you have my permission to say, “Catherine, put your list to work!”
