![PMS-ing and “Safe Friends”]()
by Catherine | Aug 6, 2014 | Everything Else
THANK YOU! In my last post, I asked again for your prayers and your prayer intentions. THANK YOU for your prayers and for asking for mine. I’m feeling more patient with the kids, and the little changes I wrote about last time are making a big difference. God’s teaching this little complainer how to stop wasting whatever big or little suffering comes my way through offering it up. I am so grateful for those of you who have asked me to pray for specific intentions. It is so helpful to have a tangible list of prayer requests a few feet away when I’m tempted to throw in the towel on the day or have a pity party. It helps to put my suffering to work and weave prayer throughout the day. I’m sure some of you are laughing at this post, thinking about my not-so-big suffering and my “first-world problems.” That’s okay because I know it is pretty ridiculous. Yet, God’s meeting me where I am, and I’m making itty bitty little baby steps toward trying to be more saintly with your help. In theory, it’ll be my training to be ready whenever the big stuff comes. So, thank you for sharing your prayer intentions.
Onto the point of this post: Can we just admit that it’s tough to feel like a good mom to young children when you’re PMS-ing? I’ve been keeping track of when my moods are wacka-wacka-wacka in relation to where I am in my cycle. I learned that PMS is the real deal during our marriage prep Creighton Model classes, but I never sought help. Perhaps a lil progesterone therapy will be in my future for PMS!
Knowing that I’d be PMS-ing this week, I knew I’d need all of the extra help I could get in the prayer department. Additionally, I thought it’d be smart to pick up the phone and set up a few playdates with “safe friends.”
What’s a “safe friend,” you ask? Well, a safe friend is a friend you can call up at anytime to say, “I think I’m going crazy over here. We need a playdate so that I don’t do something I’m going to regret.” It seems to be a Law of Motherhood that when you and your children shouldn’t be seen in public that you need to get out the most. The times when I want to leave the house the least are the times when I need a safe friend. A safe friend will take the call, hear your plea to get together, and make it happen.
Safe friends bring new energy to the day, diffuse the craziness, remind you to keep fighting the good fight, and cheerlead you on to bedtime. You’ll leave a safe friend playdate feeling like a good mom–even if your kid has an epic temper tantrum or you start PMS crying. Safe friends get that motherhood isn’t always perfect or pretty, and they’re there with you through the teething, potty training, and hormone roller coasters. They know that we love our job but that sometimes we need some reinforcements.
Safe friends make you glad you asked for a playdate so that even when the good, the bad, and the ugly are on display, you’re not fearing that she’s thinking, “There’s a whole bunch of crazy happening over here, and I am never coming back.” When it’s a perfect storm day of craziness and you’re just trying to make it to bedtime, it’s oh so glorious to have an unfazed firsthand witness to your life sincerely tell you that you’re doing a good job. Inevitably, I can lift her up next week when she asks me to talk her down because of her 3-year-old’s penchant for whining. Safe friends return the favor that way.
Do you have safe friends? How do you help each other out? What happens when a playdate can’t happen? How have you been a safe friend?
![Here’s How You Can Help Amanda and Jonathan]()
by Catherine | Jun 26, 2014 | Everything Else
You want to help? Now’s the time!
Remember my friends, Amanda and Jonathan Teixeira? Remember how I told you that they are adopting and that I want your help to make their story go viral? Great news, friends! Amanda and Jonathan have officially launched their fundraising campaign, and they’ve made it easy for all of us to help.
Aside from continued prayer, Amanda and Jonathan propose that there are 2 specific ways that you can be of the most help:
1. Help Them Find a Birth Mother
In this post, Amanda and Jonathan ask you to help them find a birth mother, explaining the difference between a “designated adoption” and a “domestic infant adoption.” Despite being tremendous stewards of their financial resources, adoption usually comes with a hefty price tag. Helping Amanda and Jonathan to find a birth mother will help to significantly lower the price via a designated adoption.
Share their photos, inquire into adoption situations near you, and PRAY!
2. Participate in Their Adorable Adoption Puzzle Fundraiser
Here’s how it works:
- We have designed a beautiful 1,000 piece puzzle
- Each piece can be purchased for a $25 donation or more
- You can buy one or many puzzle pieces
- Your name and personalized message (optional) will be written on the pieces you purchase scaled to size
After the puzzle is completed, we will frame the puzzle between two pieces of glass and hang it in our child’s room. This will be a wonderful keepsake to see all the people who loved Baby Teixeira before he/she was even born!
I am so proud of Amanda and Jonathan for continually discerning God’s will in all of this and for inviting the rest of the Body of Christ to participate in their journey. When a loved one is going through something as momentous as this, it is such a blessing when they open their arms and invite us to come alongside them, helping to sustain them on their journey in whatever way we can.
I love, love, love this explanation from Amanda in inviting us to participate:
If there is one theme that has been showing up in our prayer, it’s that God is writing a story here and we are simply along for the ride and need to hold on tight. This adoption is not just a means of growing our family. It can be a way to bring The Body of Christ together to answer God’s call to care for orphans. Who are we to prevent YOU from being able to answer this call in a concrete way by supporting our adoption efforts financially? For many, perhaps even yourself, this will be the only chance to care for an orphaned child in an up close and personal way and we invite you to come alongside us in this journey.
So, pray about it. Do you know a birth mother? Can you help Amanda and Jonathan to be put in touch with an adoption situation? Is God putting it on your heart to share some of your treasure with the Teixeiras to help them bring a baby home? Can you add a special prayer or day of fasting for the intention of their adoption? Please consider how you can help these two dear friends of mine! God will not be outdone in generosity with the ways He can use your sacrifices!
![Here's How You Can Help Amanda and Jonathan]()
by Catherine | Jun 26, 2014 | Everything Else
You want to help? Now’s the time!
Remember my friends, Amanda and Jonathan Teixeira? Remember how I told you that they are adopting and that I want your help to make their story go viral? Great news, friends! Amanda and Jonathan have officially launched their fundraising campaign, and they’ve made it easy for all of us to help.
Aside from continued prayer, Amanda and Jonathan propose that there are 2 specific ways that you can be of the most help:
1. Help Them Find a Birth Mother
In this post, Amanda and Jonathan ask you to help them find a birth mother, explaining the difference between a “designated adoption” and a “domestic infant adoption.” Despite being tremendous stewards of their financial resources, adoption usually comes with a hefty price tag. Helping Amanda and Jonathan to find a birth mother will help to significantly lower the price via a designated adoption.
Share their photos, inquire into adoption situations near you, and PRAY!
2. Participate in Their Adorable Adoption Puzzle Fundraiser
Here’s how it works:
- We have designed a beautiful 1,000 piece puzzle
- Each piece can be purchased for a $25 donation or more
- You can buy one or many puzzle pieces
- Your name and personalized message (optional) will be written on the pieces you purchase scaled to size
After the puzzle is completed, we will frame the puzzle between two pieces of glass and hang it in our child’s room. This will be a wonderful keepsake to see all the people who loved Baby Teixeira before he/she was even born!
I am so proud of Amanda and Jonathan for continually discerning God’s will in all of this and for inviting the rest of the Body of Christ to participate in their journey. When a loved one is going through something as momentous as this, it is such a blessing when they open their arms and invite us to come alongside them, helping to sustain them on their journey in whatever way we can.
I love, love, love this explanation from Amanda in inviting us to participate:
If there is one theme that has been showing up in our prayer, it’s that God is writing a story here and we are simply along for the ride and need to hold on tight. This adoption is not just a means of growing our family. It can be a way to bring The Body of Christ together to answer God’s call to care for orphans. Who are we to prevent YOU from being able to answer this call in a concrete way by supporting our adoption efforts financially? For many, perhaps even yourself, this will be the only chance to care for an orphaned child in an up close and personal way and we invite you to come alongside us in this journey.
So, pray about it. Do you know a birth mother? Can you help Amanda and Jonathan to be put in touch with an adoption situation? Is God putting it on your heart to share some of your treasure with the Teixeiras to help them bring a baby home? Can you add a special prayer or day of fasting for the intention of their adoption? Please consider how you can help these two dear friends of mine! God will not be outdone in generosity with the ways He can use your sacrifices!
![Hello Flo – My Take on the “First Moon Party” Commercial]()
by Catherine | Jun 25, 2014 | Everything Else
There’s an online campaign called “Hello Flo” designed to help women navigate the waters from their first period to menopause. I’m thrilled to see a group dedicated to demystifying these times of transition for women, but I’m troubled by their commercial called, “First Moon Party.”
Here it is:
Even though I had a few good laughs when I watched the commercial for the first time, there was something about it that bothered me. So, being the weirdo that I am, I decided to watch it a few more times.
Now, I’m sure I don’t like the commercial.
Here’s my take: Young girl, Katie, is feeling left out because all of her tween friends are getting their periods, and she hasn’t gotten hers yet. Katie pretends to get her period by painting glittery red nail polish on a pad. When Katie’s mom asks her what the nail polish coated pad is all about, Katie has some serious attitude and tells her mom that she has her period. Instead of addressing her daughter’s disrespect or taking the opportunity to talk about her daughter’s transition into womanhood, the mom decides to one-up her daughter with an in-your-face one-two punch of humiliation and revenge in the form of a “First Moon Party.”
The “First Moon Party” is supposed to be a first period celebration. During the party, we see the guests filter in (including the mom’s young male coworker who shows up with coffee filters for Katie), a game of “pin the pad on the period,” a uterus piñata, a tampon earring wearing guest treating herself to a marshmallow dipped in the red chocolate fountain, a boy band (who thanks Katie’s mom for inviting them to the “weirdest birthday party ever”), and Katie’s dad emerging from a cake in a red unitard.
Poor Katie screams and runs off in embarrassment. Katie’s mom finds her alone inside the house and tells her that she’s “missing the vagician” and that the “party is a hit.” When Katie finally admits that she faked getting her period, the commercial cuts to the mom devilishly giggling during a camera interview.
Then, we see Katie’s mom hand her a package.
“Period starter kit? Aren’t you going to ground me for lying?” asks Katie.
Katie’s mom cocks her head, asks, “Why do you think I threw you the First Moon Party?” and triumphantly turns on her heel to return to the party.
I know, I know, most of you are going to tell me, “C’mon, Catherine. Lighten up! The commercial isn’t supposed to be taken seriously! It’s supposed to be funny! Do you really think there are mothers out there like this?!”
Well…yeah, I do think there are mothers and fathers and siblings like this.
I get it. I get it. I really do. I know they’re just trying to sell first period care packages and get a laugh, BUT (and you knew there would be a “but”), I am not okay with the commercial’s take-home message.
The mom misses a huge opportunity to talk with her daughter about what getting your first period means and all of the changes that will come with it. Instead of making an already embarrassing and uncomfortable time better for her daughter, the mom takes her daughter’s rude tone as an excuse to humiliate her in the form of a “First Moon Party.”
By the end of the party, Katie is humiliated and anything but open to talking with her mom. When Katie’s mom lets her in on the whole prank, she simply hands Katie the period starter kit. It’s as if handing her the kit is some sort of substitute for the welcome to womanhood talk and time a mother should have with her daughter. It’s almost as if the mom is saying, “C’mon, I got you this gift, so you should be happy I didn’t ground you and threw you this humiliating party instead.”
In one of the last scenes, we see Katie sitting in a chair with her mom. Katie’s mom gives the camera a smirk as she strokes Katie’s arm, “What? Did she think I wouldn’t know? Periods don’t have glitter in them.” Katie’s reaction says it all:
Katie’s mom is more concerned with retaliation and being perceived as funny than the big picture. Hardy har har, she made her young male coworker laugh, and the boy band thinks she’s cool, but what about her daughter? Absolutely, Katie was rude and she never should have talked to her mother the way she did, but the mom’s antics are toxic in a mother-daughter relationship just entering puberty.
Some people are championing this commercial as being a pioneer because it makes light of periods. I’m all for humor, and I think this commercial had a lot of potential, but the humor falls flat for me. In the end, the commercial further cements the message that a period is something to be ashamed of, it’s gross, it’s weird, and it’s not something that mothers and daughters talk about. Instead, the answer is a period starter kit that Katie’s mom seems to think will fill in where her parenting fails. The answer is making your daughter more embarrassed of her fertility and thinking of a period as some kind of curse instead of a sign that she is becoming a woman and is perfectly healthy.
Like most young women, Katie is obviously very susceptible to peer pressure. (After all, it was the wanting to fit in and faking her period that ignited this escapade.) A girl entering puberty who is already susceptible to peer pressure is going to have some tough times, and she needs a loving, trusting relationship with her mom to guide her. Unfortunately, Katie is probably never going to talk with her mom about “girl problems,” dating, sex, drinking, or drugs.
Katie’s mom taught her this: be respectful, or I won’t hesitate to publicly shame you. If you hurt me, I will turn on you when you need me most. I will not take into account your age or your immaturity, and I will have no regard for the big picture. I will do what suits me in the moment.
The trouble with this commercial is that we’re brought in as comrades with Katie’s mom. We feel like we’re along the ride to show brat Katie who will get the last laugh. If the commercial were from Katie’s vantage point, it wouldn’t get the laughs, likes, and shares on social media. Those of us who had embarrassing first period stories would feel for the poor girl. The mom’s bullying would be clear, and we probably wouldn’t think it was funny. We’d see a girl who’s in for a lifetime of being unable to open up to her mother. As a result, she’ll be more likely to end up at risk for depression, premarital sex, STD’s, teen pregnancy, and suicide. I know a lot of you will think I’m being melodramatic, but that’s what happens when a young girl isn’t getting love and affirmation at home. She’ll seek out love and affirmation in unhealthy, risky behavior that will leave her hurt. I know you’ll tell me, “It’s just a commercial,” but I’m imagining fictional Katie with a few more years of living with a bully mom. I don’t think we’d be laughing at the results.
Katie may have acted like a brat (who didn’t from time to time at that age?), but she deserved more from her mother. She deserved punishment for acting like a brat, she deserved her mother’s forgiveness, and she deserved an open, ongoing conversation about her sexuality with her mother. Instead, she got public shaming and a resolve to never trust her mother again. That’s a recipe for disaster in a teenage girl, and that’s not what I want for my daughter. The “First Moon Party” is a flop for me.
At the end of the day, it’s a silly commercial, but I think this silly commercial is saying a lot about our culture’s attitudes toward parenting and a girl’s coming of age.
![Hello Flo – My Take on the "First Moon Party" Commercial]()
by Catherine | Jun 25, 2014 | Everything Else
There’s an online campaign called “Hello Flo” designed to help women navigate the waters from their first period to menopause. I’m thrilled to see a group dedicated to demystifying these times of transition for women, but I’m troubled by their commercial called, “First Moon Party.”
Here it is:
Even though I had a few good laughs when I watched the commercial for the first time, there was something about it that bothered me. So, being the weirdo that I am, I decided to watch it a few more times.
Now, I’m sure I don’t like the commercial.
Here’s my take: Young girl, Katie, is feeling left out because all of her tween friends are getting their periods, and she hasn’t gotten hers yet. Katie pretends to get her period by painting glittery red nail polish on a pad. When Katie’s mom asks her what the nail polish coated pad is all about, Katie has some serious attitude and tells her mom that she has her period. Instead of addressing her daughter’s disrespect or taking the opportunity to talk about her daughter’s transition into womanhood, the mom decides to one-up her daughter with an in-your-face one-two punch of humiliation and revenge in the form of a “First Moon Party.”
The “First Moon Party” is supposed to be a first period celebration. During the party, we see the guests filter in (including the mom’s young male coworker who shows up with coffee filters for Katie), a game of “pin the pad on the period,” a uterus piñata, a tampon earring wearing guest treating herself to a marshmallow dipped in the red chocolate fountain, a boy band (who thanks Katie’s mom for inviting them to the “weirdest birthday party ever”), and Katie’s dad emerging from a cake in a red unitard.
Poor Katie screams and runs off in embarrassment. Katie’s mom finds her alone inside the house and tells her that she’s “missing the vagician” and that the “party is a hit.” When Katie finally admits that she faked getting her period, the commercial cuts to the mom devilishly giggling during a camera interview.
Then, we see Katie’s mom hand her a package.
“Period starter kit? Aren’t you going to ground me for lying?” asks Katie.
Katie’s mom cocks her head, asks, “Why do you think I threw you the First Moon Party?” and triumphantly turns on her heel to return to the party.
I know, I know, most of you are going to tell me, “C’mon, Catherine. Lighten up! The commercial isn’t supposed to be taken seriously! It’s supposed to be funny! Do you really think there are mothers out there like this?!”
Well…yeah, I do think there are mothers and fathers and siblings like this.
I get it. I get it. I really do. I know they’re just trying to sell first period care packages and get a laugh, BUT (and you knew there would be a “but”), I am not okay with the commercial’s take-home message.
The mom misses a huge opportunity to talk with her daughter about what getting your first period means and all of the changes that will come with it. Instead of making an already embarrassing and uncomfortable time better for her daughter, the mom takes her daughter’s rude tone as an excuse to humiliate her in the form of a “First Moon Party.”
By the end of the party, Katie is humiliated and anything but open to talking with her mom. When Katie’s mom lets her in on the whole prank, she simply hands Katie the period starter kit. It’s as if handing her the kit is some sort of substitute for the welcome to womanhood talk and time a mother should have with her daughter. It’s almost as if the mom is saying, “C’mon, I got you this gift, so you should be happy I didn’t ground you and threw you this humiliating party instead.”
In one of the last scenes, we see Katie sitting in a chair with her mom. Katie’s mom gives the camera a smirk as she strokes Katie’s arm, “What? Did she think I wouldn’t know? Periods don’t have glitter in them.” Katie’s reaction says it all:
Katie’s mom is more concerned with retaliation and being perceived as funny than the big picture. Hardy har har, she made her young male coworker laugh, and the boy band thinks she’s cool, but what about her daughter? Absolutely, Katie was rude and she never should have talked to her mother the way she did, but the mom’s antics are toxic in a mother-daughter relationship just entering puberty.
Some people are championing this commercial as being a pioneer because it makes light of periods. I’m all for humor, and I think this commercial had a lot of potential, but the humor falls flat for me. In the end, the commercial further cements the message that a period is something to be ashamed of, it’s gross, it’s weird, and it’s not something that mothers and daughters talk about. Instead, the answer is a period starter kit that Katie’s mom seems to think will fill in where her parenting fails. The answer is making your daughter more embarrassed of her fertility and thinking of a period as some kind of curse instead of a sign that she is becoming a woman and is perfectly healthy.
Like most young women, Katie is obviously very susceptible to peer pressure. (After all, it was the wanting to fit in and faking her period that ignited this escapade.) A girl entering puberty who is already susceptible to peer pressure is going to have some tough times, and she needs a loving, trusting relationship with her mom to guide her. Unfortunately, Katie is probably never going to talk with her mom about “girl problems,” dating, sex, drinking, or drugs.
Katie’s mom taught her this: be respectful, or I won’t hesitate to publicly shame you. If you hurt me, I will turn on you when you need me most. I will not
take into account your age or your immaturity, and I will have no regard for the big picture. I will do what suits me in the moment.
The trouble with this commercial is that we’re brought in as comrades with Katie’s mom. We feel like we’re along the ride to show brat Katie who will get the last laugh. If the commercial were from Katie’s vantage point, it wouldn’t get the laughs, likes, and shares on social media. Those of us who had embarrassing first period stories would feel for the poor girl. The mom’s bullying would be clear, and we probably wouldn’t think it was funny. We’d see a girl who’s in for a lifetime of being unable to open up to her mother. As a result, she’ll be more likely to end up at risk for depression, premarital sex, STD’s, teen pregnancy, and suicide. I know a lot of you will think I’m being melodramatic, but that’s what happens when a young girl isn’t getting love and affirmation at home. She’ll seek out love and affirmation in unhealthy, risky behavior that will leave her hurt. I know you’ll tell me, “It’s just a commercial,” but I’m imagining fictional Katie with a few more years of living with a bully mom. I don’t think we’d be laughing at the results.
Katie may have acted like a brat (who didn’t from time to time at that age?), but she deserved more from her mother. She deserved punishment for acting like a brat, she deserved her mother’s forgiveness, and she deserved an open, ongoing conversation about her sexuality with her mother. Instead, she got public shaming and a resolve to never trust her mother again. That’s a recipe for disaster in a teenage girl, and that’s not what I want for my daughter. The “First Moon Party” is a flop for me.
At the end of the day, it’s a silly commercial, but I think this silly commercial is saying a lot about our culture’s attitudes toward parenting and a girl’s coming of age.
![Hello, Flo]()
by Catherine | Jun 24, 2014 | Everything Else
Have you seen the latest ad campaign designed to help girls navigate the winding road of becoming a woman? Check it out. The campaign is called Hello Flo, and there’s a silly commercial to accompany the website.
 |
| From “First Moon Party” commercial |
The gist of the commercial is this: A junior high girl’s friends are all getting their periods. In an attempt to fit in, the girl fakes getting her period for the first time. Her mom knows she’s faking, but instead of letting her know she knows, the mom says it’s a family tradition to throw a “first moon party.” The mom spares no expense having a crazy party celebrating her daughter’s fake first period–long guest list, a boy band, red chocolate fountain, uterus piñata, etc.
Here’s the commercial:
I’ll weigh in with my opinion on the commercial another time. What do you think about it?
For now, I want to go down memory lane…
The commercial took me back to the summer after fifth grade when I got my first period. Come back in time with me. It was the summer of “Macarena” and “No Diggity,” the Summer Olympic Games in Atlanta (way to land it, Kerri Strug!), and Friends, 7th Heaven, and Everybody Loves Raymond were the top shows. I was (of course) on a road trip family vacation with my parents and two of my brothers to Durango, Colorado. We had just arrived at the hotel and were going to the hotel pool. I excused myself to use the restroom when I discovered that I had gotten my period. Thanks to fifth grade “Reverence for Life” with Miss DeScoise at St. Roberts (and all of the talk about this stuff at sleepovers), I knew what was up.
I was in a hotel room bathroom in a bathing suit and had no feminine products in sight. The rest of my family was at the pool, and my mom’s suitcase didn’t have anything. With no other options, I rolled up some toilet paper, got dressed, and found my mom at the pool. After making her promise not to tell my dad and brothers, we got what we needed at the hotel gift shop. While I was in the hotel room bathroom taking proper care of things, my two brothers had come back from the pool and relished the opportunity to bother me on the other side of the door. “What are you doooooooooooooing?” Brothers.
My big sister, Jenny, was working as a counselor at Camp Foster that summer. (That’s the same YMCA summer camp where Philip and I were counselors the first summer we were dating.) Since the hotel gift shop didn’t have stationery, I settled for sharing the exciting news with Jenny via a postcard. I thought I was being all sly with my secret message. I wrote, “You’re never going to guess what happened. I GOT IT!!!” Yup, top secret. Years later, Jenny told me how she got the postcard during the larger than life mail distribution ceremony after lunch in the dining hall. She proceeded to share it with the other counselors, and apparently my not-so-secret postcard made its way to the staff lounge bulletin board. The Camp Foster staff was thrilled for me!
Ladies, what’s your first period story? I hope it wasn’t as mortifying as mine! Did you want it? Fear it? Have nightmares about getting it in the middle of science class?
