by Catherine | Jan 6, 2017 | Everything Else
After a little blogging hiatus for Advent/Christmas, I’m baaaaaaack!
I started The Year of Me in May 2016, and I gave an update in September 2016. I thought January would be a perfect time to check in again.
January marks 9 months of the Year of Me. I look back at my original post and remember how I felt. While I was so grateful for the life I had, I knew I could make some changes to make it even better. Specifically, I knew I wanted to change things in the areas of: fitness, nutrition, rest, prayer, marriage, friendship, and me time.
So, where am I now? Today, let’s tackle Fitness:
Instead of throwing things out of whack, Christmas vacation made me firmer in my resolve to stick with things. I knew the New Year was approaching, and I was so excited to finally start a New Year as one of those people who already exercised! Instead of starting something new, I was continuing on with the work I had begun.
Unless I am sick or injured, it is my goal to exercise right after my morning prayer and breakfast Monday through Saturday. On the weekdays, I get my exercise in before the kids wake up. On Saturdays, I’ll exercise at some point in the morning. Here’s what I’m doing now:
- M/W/F: Treadmill. 3 – 3.5 miles
- 5 minute warm-up walk at 3.2 speed
- 30 minute run at 5.5 speed
- 5 minute cool-down walk at 3.2 speed
- T/TR/SAT: Workout Video
On the days that I run on the treadmill, I listen to my favorite podcasts. I look back at the pictures I took of the treadmill screen when I was starting Couch 2 5K, and I’m so glad I did. I had forgotten that I couldn’t run for 1 minute! Now, I’m regularly running for 30 minutes at a time without prompting from an app.
I love our fitness DVDs! A friend loaned me her copies of 21-Day Fix, and I ended up getting my own. I got Philip T-25 for Christmas, and we’ve been doing the videos together. It has been fun to have a variety of workouts to choose from, and they all target different areas.
We still use our gym membership, especially on the weekends, but I have been successful exercising from home. Our crammed home office/gym is now exclusively our gym. We’re still in the process of converting things, but it is so nice to have a dedicated space and not have to look at a cluttered desk while I run.
I imagine we will be getting a lot more use out of the gym in the long dog days of summer. I never made an appointment with a personal trainer, but I’m happy without one for now. Now that I’ve lost my shell of all of that extra weight, I’m focusing on maintaining a healthy weight while building muscle. When I started the Year of Me, I wish I had taken my measurements and an official before picture instead of just recording my weight. My body is completely different from when I began.
Left: Dorothy’s Baptism (5/1/16)
Right: Christmas Eve (12/24/16)
Since I started moving in May, I’ve lost 50+ pounds. I set an “ideal weight” goal, and I reached that number a few months ago. Once I reached that number, I was very pleased, but I did a little soul searching and had to admit to myself that a doctor would tell that my ideal weight would be even lower. Truth be told, I think I was afraid to aim for a truly healthy weight. I think my target was still settling. My thought was, “Well, THAT number is never happening on the scale again, so let’s just shoot for this.” I think it’s healthy for me to keep adjusting what the “ideal” is as I take into account my muscle gains and fat loss. While I’m happy about the weight loss, I am *MUCH* more pleased about my increased energy, improved mood, and strength. I was a good wife and mom before The Year of Me, but I think my family would tell you that I am even better now that I have the strength and energy to take on the demands of my vocation. The kids will also tell you that I’m a much more fun mom. I regularly get down on the ground and play instead of sitting on the sidelines and watching. This summer, I’m determined to be the mom who puts on the swimsuit, gets in the pool, runs through the sprinklers, etc. I’m done missing out on the fun because I don’t like my body or feel too tired.
Yesterday, Jane came into our bedroom while I was getting dressed. It had been awhile since she had seen my bare stomach. She pointed to the stretch marks and loose skin. With her sweet, concerned 6-year-old voice, she said, “Ohhhhhhhh, Mommy, what happened?!”
“Well, my tummy is kind of like a balloon. Every time it has a baby inside of it, it streeeeeeeeeeeetches out really far. Do you remember how big my tummy was when Dorothy was inside?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, it has done that every time all of you were in there, and each time, I got these stretch marks on my tummy. After Dorothy was born, I had this extra skin. But I don’t mind. These marks and extra skin remind me of all of you.”
Oh. My. Goodness. I wish you could have seen how she beamed! “Really?! So, is this one (pointing to a stretch mark on my tummy) from me, and is this one (pointing to another) from Walt? And even Thérèse? And Harry and Dorothy?”
“Yup! Pretty cool, huh?”
And you know what she did? She gave me a hug and traced her little fingers over the stretch marks. I love that little girl. I pray that she is learning a few things about how I view my body. I want her to know that I love and cherish being a mother but that there are real, physical challenges that I face because of it. Those stretch marks and loose skin don’t embarrass me, but they do remind me that motherhood demands a lot of my body. Because I want to continue to be a strong mama, I choose to exercise and build up my strength. I want her to know that I’m not concerned about being skinny; I’m concerned about taking care of myself so that I can pour myself out. I was a good mom before I exercised on a regular basis, but I like mom-ing better now that I have the mental AND physical reserves for the job.
I’ll share more about the areas of nutrition, marriage, friendship, me time, rest, and prayer another time!
Questions for you:
What changes are you making in the New Year? How are you taking care of yourself better? How do you communicate to your children that you need to and do take care of yourself? How do you show them that you love your body?
by Catherine | Oct 13, 2016 | Everything Else
Ever since Philip and I started enforcing a strict early bedtime to accommodate our 5:15 a.m. alarm, we’ve been getting in a lot of reading before bed. I thought I’d start writing and sharing my book reviews on the blog. My goal is to keep the reviews short, direct, and full of enough detail to help you decide whether or not it’ll be a book-mance for you. I’m calling this series Busy Mom Book Reviews. Yes. BMBR. I’m great at coming up with abbreviations or acronyms or whatever you call them. If it starts with “BM,” you now it’s gonna be good!
Alright…on to my first Busy Mom Book Review (BMBR)…
Cover Art from Amazon.com
Nobody’s Cuter Than You: A Memoir About the Beauty of Friendship by Melanie Shankle
Star Rating (out of a possible 5): ***
I first learned about Nobody’s Cuter Than You from The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey when she had author Melanie Shankle on the podcast. After I heard Melanie and Jamie giggling on The Happy Hour, I wanted to hear more of Melanie’s voice in her book. I went into the book anticipating a light beach read that would make me walk away feeling grateful for my girlfriends. Mission accomplished, Melanie Shankle. Mission accomplished.
The book has 19 short chapters. Melanie goes all the way back to her first best friend and shares stories from all of her most important friendships up until present day. My favorite part was Melanie’s chapter about her annual tradition to get all of her Christmas shopping done over a weekend with her friend, Gulley. I appreciated how Melanie’s introspection interspersed among anecdotes forced me to think about how my friendships shaped and continue to shape me. I struggled with the pace and flow of her narrative, though. While I appreciated Melanie’s lightness and sense of humor, I wanted her to lean into the pain a little more when it happened. As a reader, it made me feel like she didn’t feel comfortable sharing her whole story. I felt like I was being kept at an arm’s length with humor and couldn’t get the full story. At times her humor felt out of place or she’d go on and on about seemingly unnecessary details that didn’t help advance the narrative of friendship. While Melanie’s devotion and affection for her dearest friends shines through, I struggled with how she handled the toughest moments. As a reader, I kept wanting to get back to the details of what was happening in her relationship instead of her interest in the superficial (hairstyles, fashion, etc.). Melanie has a knack for remembering all of those colorful details that take you back to times and places, but I think she took it to a level that distracted from the story. Perhaps it would have made more sense to plug in a few little vignettes. A small “ode to the 80’s” or a “love song to my Honda CR-X” would have been great! Just my $.02. I wish Melanie’s editor had forced her to trim out the fat and keep us along for the ride of the most important details. The chapters felt isolated and read like individual blog posts instead of a narrative weaved together to help us learn more about why Melanie is the woman she is today.
In brief: Nobody’s Cuter Than You was a fun, light, vacation read that made me reflect more on the power of friendship, but I don’t think I’d recommend it unless I was giving someone my copy.
by Catherine | Oct 13, 2016 | Everything Else
Ever since Philip and I started enforcing a strict early bedtime to accommodate our 5:15 a.m. alarm, we’ve been getting in a lot of reading before bed. I thought I’d start writing and sharing my book reviews on the blog. My goal is to keep the reviews short, direct, and full of enough detail to help you decide whether or not it’ll be a book-mance for you. I’m calling this series Busy Mom Book Reviews. Yes. BMBR. I’m great at coming up with abbreviations or acronyms or whatever you call them. If it starts with “BM,” you now it’s gonna be good!
Alright…on to my first Busy Mom Book Review (BMBR)…
Cover Art from Amazon.com
Nobody’s Cuter Than You: A Memoir About the Beauty of Friendship by Melanie Shankle
Star Rating (out of a possible 5): ***
I first learned about Nobody’s Cuter Than You from The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey when she had author Melanie Shankle on the podcast. After I heard Melanie and Jamie giggling on The Happy Hour, I wanted to hear more of Melanie’s voice in her book. I went into the book anticipating a light beach read that would make me walk away feeling grateful for my girlfriends. Mission accomplished, Melanie Shankle. Mission accomplished.
The book has 19 short chapters. Melanie goes all the way back to her first best friend and shares stories from all of her most important friendships up until present day. My favorite part was Melanie’s chapter about her annual tradition to get all of her Christmas shopping done over a weekend with her friend, Gulley. I appreciated how Melanie’s introspection interspersed among anecdotes forced me to think about how my friendships shaped and continue to shape me. I struggled with the pace and flow of her narrative, though. While I appreciated Melanie’s lightness and sense of humor, I wanted her to lean into the pain a little more when it happened. As a reader, it made me feel like she didn’t feel comfortable sharing her whole story. I felt like I was being kept at an arm’s length with humor and couldn’t get the full story. At times her humor felt out of place or she’d go on and on about seemingly unnecessary details that didn’t help advance the narrative of friendship. While Melanie’s devotion and affection for her dearest friends shines through, I struggled with how she handled the toughest moments. As a reader, I kept wanting to get back to the details of what was happening in her relationship instead of her interest in the superficial (hairstyles, fashion, etc.). Melanie has a knack for remembering all of those colorful details that take you back to times and places, but I think she took it to a level that distracted from the story. Perhaps it would have made more sense to plug in a few little vignettes. A small “ode to the 80’s” or a “love song to my Honda CR-X” would have been great! Just my $.02. I wish Melanie’s editor had forced her to trim out the fat and keep us along for the ride of the most important details. The chapters felt isolated and read like individual blog posts instead of a narrative weaved together to help us learn more about why Melanie is the woman she is today.
In brief: Nobody’s Cuter Than You was a fun, light, vacation read that made me reflect more on the power of friendship, but I don’t think I’d recommend it unless I was giving someone my copy.
by Catherine | Oct 12, 2016 | Everything Else, Marriage
When I wrote my first post about the Year of Me, I ended with “Me Time” and touched briefly on marriage and friendship. For Me Time, I said I wanted, “Guilt free regularly scheduled sitter during the day a few days a week so that I can nap, run errands, read a book at a coffee shop, blog, exercise, etc.” As for marriage and friendship, I wrote, “I’m still pondering specific goals for these two areas, but I’m envisioning more regular contact and in-person visits with my friends as well as some new hobbies and ways to spend quality time with Philip.”
Goal updates:
Me Time
Philip has always been and continues to be so generous in helping me to find pockets of time for me. Over the summer, I had a sitter help with the 3 older kids Monday/Wednesday/Friday from 8 a.m. until naptime at 1:30 p.m. It was wonderful! It gave me a chance to bond more with Dorothy as we worked on nursing. After I got my morning workout in, she tagged along with me to get errands run or get things done around the house while she snoozed.
Now that we’re into the school year, we have a sitter come over on Wednesdays after school for two hours. That way, I can get a few things done in the middle of the week. I use the time to do dinner prep, run an errand or two, prepare for my parish women’s group, plan something for GodTeens, or blog.
I started taking tennis lessons last month, and I love it! Philip was a tennis player in high school, so it’s fun to have a sport that we can play together in addition to golf.
Playing tennis on vacation last week (More on that later!)
Going forward, my Me Time goals are to:
- Write:
- Publish at least 2 times each week on my blog
- Dedicate at least 10 minutes everyday to writing
- Reach out to writers I admire to learn more about the nitty gritty of blogging/writing for them
- Read for at least 30 minutes everyday
- Tennis: continue weekly lessons
- Sew
- Schedule a sewing lesson by November 1st
- Finish my receiving blankets by November 15th
- Finish my napkins by December 1st
For marriage, my goals are to:
- Schedule regular date nights with Philip (at least 2 out and 1 at home each month)
- Get ready for bed at 9:00 p.m. so that we have time for “bedtime book club” and pillow talk
For friendship, my goals are to:
- Call one person everyday instead of just texting–even if it’s just for a few minutes
- Schedule bimonthly outings with girlfriends
Questions for You:
How do you keep your tank full? When was the last time you scheduled time to do something that you love just because? How are you keeping the spark alive in your marriage? Are your friendships as strong as they could be? How do you keep in touch with your friends when life gets busy?
by Catherine | Sep 14, 2016 | Everything Else
Dorothy was born March 28th, 2016. In the middle of the newborn phase fog, I decided that the date of my 6-week follow-up with my OBGYN would be my 2nd New Year, kicking off the Year of Me. The Year of Me is all about filling myself up so that I can pour myself out for my family and loved ones. I created goals around the areas of fitness, nutrition, prayer/spiritual life, rest, and me time.
Since I started sharing about the Year of Me, I’ve been contacted by so many of my friends saying that they’re feeling motivated to do a Year of Me for themselves. I can’t tell you how awesome that is to me! I don’t think I’m doing anything particularly unique or revolutionary; I just want other women to know that they’re worth it, that they can do it, and that it just takes a daily decision to say “yes” to that baby step.
As important as this is to me, you’d think that I’d remember the day it officially began, but I don’t. I just tried going back to scan my calendar for the date of my 6-week follow-up, but it’s somehow not there. I think I was crafting my goals and starting to work toward them from the moment I left the hospital with Dorothy. Since May 9th is exactly 6 weeks after Dorothy’s birthday, let’s just call May 9th the start of the Year of Me. That means I’m 4 months (or one-third) into the Year of Me, so I thought I’d give an update on how things are going in every area:
Let’s start things off with Fitness!
What a transformation! During pregnancy, I was almost completely sedentary. I was so, so, so sick, and I struggled to get through most days. Nonetheless, I gained more weight with Dorothy than I did during my other pregnancies because of my disordered relationship with food. (More on that next time when I get to my Nutrition Goals.) For the Year of Me, I was motivated to get moving and get myself back into fighting form. Getting started, it was much more about feeling good again than it was about the number on the scale or being able to fit into a certain size.
Back in May, I started running at the gym using the Couch to 5K app. I thought it would be fun to share pictures of the treadmill screen or my Couch to 5K finish screen on social media with the hashtag #yearofme. More than anything, putting those pictures up meant that I was serious about fitness and that I’d have to keep it up since I was telling everyone I know on Facebook and Instagram about it.
I am pleased to report that I started going to the gym 3x/week in May and haven’t stopped since. I struggled to run for 1 minute when I first started the C25K app (Couch to 5K) during my treadmill time, but I stuck with it. I became a Couch 2 5K graduate a month-ish ago. Now, I’m doing 30-minute runs at least 3 times a week at 5.5 speed on the treadmill. If you haven’t checked out the app, do it! That app was like my own little personal trainer in my headphones. It didn’t hurt that I got to listen to my favorite podcasts while I ran!
Our schedule drastically changed with the start of the school year, so I had to rework a few things. This whole parenting thing is teaching me that I have to be at peace with finding what will work for 3 months at a time. Then, I need to be able to change it again when life inevitably changes three months later. Exercising as a parent can’t be about finding what will work forever; it’s about finding what works right now and doing it. I decided I was tired of our mornings getting eaten up at the gym, so I thought I’d try hammering out my exercise before getting the kids off to school. I started running on our treadmill at home in the early morning this week. I’m loving getting in my exercise and shower before the kids are up. That way (in theory), I can get errands run or housework done in the morning while the kids are at school and Dorothy is napping. It’s a beautiful thing when it works out.
In addition to my regular runs, I had a goal to walk our dog, Monty, everyday. Poor Monty. He’s still not getting regular walks. He’s just a 14 lb. lap dog, but he could use a brisk walk everyday.
Another one of my goals was to get moving with the kids for at least half an hour everyday. We easily met that goal with regular play, and we are trying to get them outside as much as possible after school before bedtime.
I am very pleased to report that I weigh less now than I did before I got pregnant with Dorothy, and I’m just a few pounds away from where I was when we got married in 2008. Granted, my body shape is just a *TAD* different after birthing all of these babies, but it’s a beautiful thing to have my clothes fit again and make me feel good. Most importantly, I have so much more energy, and I feel like a strong mama. It doesn’t hurt that Philip likes the results from my exercise, too! I’m still nursing Dorothy, so we’ll see what happens whenever she decides to start weaning. It’s my goal to make it to her first birthday. This is the longest I’ve nursed any of our babies, so I’m entering into unchartered territory. Stay tuned!
Going forward, my exercise goals are:
- Run 3x/week
- Schedule an appointment with a personal trainer by October 1st
- Lift: 2 strength training sessions per week
- Walk Monty for at least 10 minutes every day
- Move: At least 15 minutes of heart pumping activity with the kids on school nights (outside, Go Noodle, basement roughhousing, other fitness apps/games)
Questions for You
What’s working and what’s not for you in the area of fitness? Any tips, tricks, or advice?
Would you consider joining me for a Year of YOU? What would be your goals? What areas are you working on in your life? I’d love to hear about your struggles, your progress, and the milestones you’re reaching. I’ve been so encouraged by my progress, and I’d love it if you would share about what’s going on in your Year of YOU!
by Catherine | May 7, 2016 | Everything Else
Last time, I tackled what I call “Minimums” in my Navigating the Newborn Phase series. Today, I’m sharing my experience with Nutrition in Navigating the Newborn Phase.
Transitioning from Pregnancy Nutrition to Postpartum Nutrition
I struggle with excessive nausea and vomiting during pregnancy. This last pregnancy, I was on my anti-nausea medicine until the 34-week mark. (Diclegis, I love thee!) Even after I was off the medication, I was still nauseated 24/7. As with all of my previous pregnancies, my prolonged nausea changed my attitude toward food. For the first 24-ish weeks, I just ate whatever I could keep down for the sake of getting calories regardless of how it tasted or its nutritious value. Toward the end of my second trimester, I began to be able to eat most foods. Unfortunately, even with my full dose of the anti-nausea medicine, I had to eat around the clock to keep the vomiting at bay. Between meals, this translated into me eating a granola bar here, a cheese stick there, a handful of grapes here, a cookie there, a yogurt here…you get the picture. So, even though I vomited more than I care to share this past pregnancy, I gained more weight this time than in previous pregnancies because of my need to eat around the clock.
Instead of enjoying food, eating became a constant chore. My relationship with food became tiresome, and I dreaded having to come up with something else to stop me from getting sick because everything sounded awful after I had eaten it for the zillionth time that week. If I didn’t start having aversions to food from having them on repeat, I had aversions to them from getting sick after eating them. Yummy.
You can imagine my excitement to re-enter the world of normal eating once Baby Dorothy arrived!
The Year of Me & Nutrition
As you might remember from my post about The Year of Me, I’ve decided to take better care of myself from here on out. It’s time to stop putting myself last and start putting myself toward the top. As one of my favorite mentor mamas told me, “Fill yourself up so that you can pour yourself out for those you love.” Nutrition is one of the areas I’m focusing on, and I’ve spent my 6 weeks postpartum trying to figure out my game plan. The date of my 6-week postpartum check-up with my OBGYN will be my “Second New Year” when I start officially holding myself accountable to my Year of Me goals.
I’m pleased to report that I think I’ve found a nutrition solution that will help me to:
- Reach my fitness goals
- Consistently eat healthy
- Reach my breastfeeding goals.
My Fitness Pal
My new favorite nutrition tool is the app My Fitness Pal. (I’m not getting paid to share my endorsement of this app; I just love how it works, and I want you to know about it!)
How it works:
You enter your age, your height, your current weight, and your target weight. With that information, the app determines your target daily caloric intake. (Breastfeeding note: Unfortunately, the app doesn’t have a special setting for breastfeeding mamas. After a little research, I learned that most doctors agree that the average woman uses between 250-500 calories breastfeeding. With this information, I simply added 500 calories to my target daily caloric intake to make sure I’m staying in the healthy intake range while nursing.)
Once you have your target caloric intake number set, you can log every single thing you eat in the “Diary.” My paper and pen food diaries were never successful in the past because I never knew what the exact caloric values of the foods were, and I’d find myself away from the diary, so I’d forget to log everything. With My Fitness Pal on my phone, I’m able to log things shortly after I eat them. Sometimes, if I’m in a pinch and can’t log things right away, I’ll take a picture of my meal on my phone so that I remember exactly what and how much I ate.
My Fitness Pal makes it so easy to track exactly what I’m eating, how much I’m eating, and what it’s “worth” in terms of calories. When I go to enter a food on My Fitness Pal, I find multiple results in the search bar. For example, when I’m having my favorite snack, I could type in, “Banana Cream Greek Yogurt,” and my exact kind of yogurt pops up with the exact caloric value. “Banana Cream Dannon Light & Fit Greek Blends, 5.3 oz. 80 calories.”
Another great feature is the ability to adjust the serving size based on how much I actually end up eating. If I decide I’m full and don’t need to finish that dessert or want to eat some extra fruit, I just change the serving size to reflect that.
If you’re like me and have some regular staples in your diet, you can choose to “repeat meal” on a subsequent day instead of plugging in all of the information over and over again. Also, as I start typing things in, the app has a “Recent” for the foods I’ve recently plugged in. I haven’t done this yet, but you can plug in your favorite recipes to draw from, too.
In addition to being able to track your nutrition in the food diary, you can log your daily exercise. As you enter in your physical activity, the app subtracts the caloric value from what you’ve eaten. This helps you to see if your nutrition combined with your exercise is helping you to stay above or below your caloric intake goal.
The app has a helpful blog on the home page with articles sharing healthy recipes and other fitness tips. I’m still exploring all of the features on the app like the goals, challenges, reminders, etc. One feature that I’m excited about is the ability to find other friends on the app. I just did a quick search, and a bunch of my friends are already using the app. I love the idea of being able to hold each other accountable by sharing what we’re doing on the app–what we’re eating, how we’re exercising, what’s working, what’s not, and when we reach personal goals.
Another benefit of My Fitness Pal is its ability to help me “be good” even when I’m eating out. The app has most items on nationwide restaurants’ menus, so it’s easier to track what you’re eating when you’re out.
Shift in Attitude
Now that I’ve been using My Fitness Pal for a few weeks, I’ve noticed some big changes happening. I have had a shift in my entire attitude toward food. Instead of treating food as fuel or something to stop me from being sick, eating is back to being an event that I look forward to. I’m savoring the calories I consume.
Today, I opted for the small protein smoothie at my nearby coffee spot. My thought process was, “This way, I can enjoy the smoothie this morning and still have a little something sweet later,” when my old mentaility would have been, “But $.50 will get me MORE SMOOTHIE.”
A small smoothie is still a delicious smoothie
Instead of just scarfing down whatever’s within reach when I’m in hangry mode, I’m planning out exactly what I’m going to eat that day, and I’m planning for busy times so that I have nutritious options available. Now that I’m more aware of what I’m eating, how much I’m eating, and what kinds of calories they are, I’m making the calories count. I know this sounds silly and ridiculous, but laziness can sometimes be a good thing with My Fitness Pal. If I think, “Man, how in the world would I log this food item on the app?” it probably won’t get eaten because of the hassle! Instead of mindlessly eating, everything I eat is a deliberate choice.
Going Forward With the Year of Me
I’m looking forward to officially launching The Year of Me. As I get started, I’m still working on my meal planning as well as meal preparation. After using it for a few years, I still love the app Paprika for organizing recipes and putting together meal plans. We’re not very good at eating the same things over and over again, so we’re always looking for new recipes. Lunch is always my most difficult meal to figure out. My brain gets stuck on the same options on repeat, and I struggle to come up with something I actually want to eat if I don’t have leftovers available. One of my friends does a “Sunday Set-Up” every Sunday where she does a lot of the prep work for the meals she’ll be eating that week.
Help a girl out! I’d love to hear your favorite, nutritious recipes. What about your meal prep hacks? What kinds of things do you do to cut down on your meal prep time? What tips or tricks do you have for helping yourself to make better choices when you’re hangry? What do your fridge and pantry look like? Share, share, share away!
What would The Year of You look like in the area of nutrition?