How Do You “Offer It Up”?

How Do You “Offer It Up”?

As you all know, the Catholic Church has a new Holy Father, Pope Francis I!  Hooray!  May God bless him and his office abundantly.  I don’t think I have anything especially profound to add to what the other writers in the Catholic blogosphere are saying, so I’ll leave that to them for now.

In between changing/folding loads of laundry and playing family room referee, I was listening to my favorite podcast, Catholic Answers Live.  (Really, if you have never heard the show, do yourself a favor, and download it or listen to the live radio show today!)  

One of my favorite guests, Mother Miriam of the Lamb of God, has the special gift of imparting her spiritual wisdom in a way that only the best spiritual mothers can.  She is living proof that the world needs the gift of motherhood from all womenregardless of our vocation or whether or not we ever have biological children of our own.

Mother Miriam of the Lamb of God (Photo from Catholic Answers)

Anyway, a caller on the second hour of the March 6th episode asked what it means to “offer it up.”  He “had always heard the nuns” talking about this concept while he was in school, but he wasn’t exactly sure why or how to do this or if he was offering things up in the right context.  

As usual, Mother Miriam’s answer blew me away, and I have to share it with you.  (I’ll type her response below, but if you’d like to listen to the episode or download it for yourself, click on the link here.)

“In fact, Pope John Paul II, our beloved Holy Father in his time, when one priest came to him because he had enormous pain in his knee and needed surgery, he came to him and said, ‘Holy Father, please pray for my knee,’  John Paul smacked the priest across the face!  He said to him, ‘Don’t waste your suffering!’  You see, because we can put our suffering to work for salvation–our own, others, for the Kingdom.  

But what is it that we offer up?  We offer our pain up in union with Jesus on the cross.  You’re Catholic, Dave (the caller), right?  Yes?  Blessed be God!  And you believe when Jesus died his sacrifice was sufficient to pay for the sins of the whole word.  But, He brings us in.  He allows us to have a share in His suffering and in his mission for the world. 

For example, when we’re at Mass, and the priest invites the parishoners in the language of the Mass to offer our sufferings ‘through Him, with Him, and in Him,’ it is that we join our sufferings to the cross, which, at the Mass, as you believe is Calvary made present–not the re-sacrifice of Christ, but the re-presentation of the once for all sacrifice of Christ that happened 2000 years ago in time, brought through time, and made present on the altar. 

And, it’s the biggest thing, dear David, that led me into the Church.  To know that He died for my sins.  I put Him on the cross.  I, in effect, yelled ‘crucify Him!’ with that crowd.  He died for sin, and He died for my sins.  And, to learn that I put Him to death by my sin and that, though I caused His death, He would now receive me in the very sacrifice that He paid in order for me to have life.  It was just overwhelming for me.  So, He enables us to join with Him.  And, in a sense, though His sacrifice is sufficient, we add to it.      

I was sharing with a group of women today a story that I have shared many times, maybe [with] some of our listeners, that would help me–of thinking of a mother in the kitchen baking a chocolate cake.  She has all of the ingredients.  She is sufficient for the task.  She needs nothing and she needs no one, but into the kitchen comes her little three-year-old daughter.

‘Mommy, can I help you?’

Jane and her chocolate “Happy Birthday, Jesus” Christmas cake

And, love receives.  Love doesn’t say, ‘No, goodbye.  I have enough.’  Love receives.  

And, so, the mother says, ‘Sure, honey.’  

And the little girl comes and throws some egg, or flour, or stuff in the cake.  The mother didn’t need her help, but the mother receives her addition.  And, it’s a true addition. 

Our Lord on the cross died for the world.  He’s God.  He needs nothing and no one.  And, yet, He’s given us a share in redemption with Him.  He takes our sufferings–whether it’s your incredibly painful feet or even the smallest annoying cold that somebody has.  If we take that pain and we say, ‘Lord Jesus, in a sense, I have a gift to give You.  I want to give You this suffering.  And, I want You to take it, and I want You to unite it with your suffering on the cross.  And, I’m asking, dear Lord Jesus, that You would use it for ________ (and then you fill in that space).  For me, for my growth in holiness, for someone I love who needs to come back to the Church, for someone in the third world that hasn’t heard the Gospel.’  Or, just leave it with the Blessed Mother where she knows it’s needed best.  And we give it to Him.  We are offering it up.  We are offering our suffering up to the cross with our Savior.  And, He takes it, and He receives it, and He puts it to work. 

And, so, we’re not wasting our suffering.  And, what I’ve found, dear Dave, concerning when I do that myself, regardless of what the suffering is–it could be physical, emotional, whatever it is–I find that it no longer controls me.  The pain may be there or the scars from woundedness may be there.  But it no longer controls me because I feel that I can say to the devil ‘take that!’ because I put it to work and defeated, so to speak, that aspect of the fall that caused that pain. 

Now, I still have the pain, or I still have the scars, but the sting is gone because, even though it’s painful, as Jesus’ death was on the cross, it’s being put to work now for salvation and for the Kingdom. 

So, to me, it’s an incredible privilege that our Lord would allow us to offer up to Him, up to his cross, to unite our sufferings with Him for the salvation of the world.”  

After the caller said that he appreciated Mother Miriam’s explanation and that it made so much sense, she said, 

“Blessed be God!  Nothing touches us that our blessed Lord doesn’t allow, so He must be on his way to making you a saint, Dave.”

Wow.  Wow.  Wow.  I needed to hear those words, and I know I’ll need to re-read this transcript of her response again and again.  So many great reminders.  After listening to Mother Miriam’s response, I’ve been reflecting on her words.  I’m realizing several things and asking myself a few questions:

  1. I need Blessed John Paul II to show up on my door step–especially on those days when I’m tempted to give in to pity parties.  I need him to slap me in the face, and say, “Don’t waste your suffering!” 
  2. How much suffering have I wasted (a stubbed toe, a sinus infection, the loss of a loved one, etc.)?  How can I cultivate the habit of “offering it up” so as not to let that suffering go to waste?
  3. Am I fully laying my sufferings down on the altar when I go to Mass and allowing my sufferings to be offered up “through Him, with Him, and in Him”?  
  4. Am I allowing my suffering to control me?  Do I allow even the smallest sufferings to control my day, my interactions with others, or my prayer life?
  5. Do I receive my spouse, my children, and others in love like the mother baking the chocolate cake?  Do I receive them and their real additions in love?  Or, do I say that I am enough and need nothing and no one?  
  6. Do I remember that God is God and has no need of me but that even He allows me to unite my sufferings with Him for the salvation of the world?
  7. Do I believe in the universal call to holiness?  Do I truly believe that I could become a saint?  If not, why?

If you’re like me, you’ll be contemplating these questions and Mother Miriam’s words well beyond the season of Lent and for the rest of your life.

How do you “offer it up”?  Do you have any practical tips or advice to share?    

Surprise!

Surprise!

We managed to pull off a little surprise party for Mom and Dad’s 40th anniversary.  I thought I’d share some of the pictures from the fun night celebrating Mom and Dad.

I was in charge of centerpieces.  Mom’s bouquet from her wedding had white and yellow flowers.  Here’s the finished product on my dining room table before the party.

I made small arrangements with white and yellow blooms with a little green mixed in.  I filled mason jars with sliced lemon to add a little more color.  To finish the centerpieces, I tied a yellow & white gingham ribbon around the rim into a bow. 

Mom and the girls
Dad and the boys
Mom, Dad, all of the kids, and our spouses

It was such a fun evening!  We decided to keep it an adults-only celebration.  That way, we got to stay out past our bedtime and spend more time visiting with one another than chasing after the grandbabies like we usually do.  

My favorite part was listening to Mom and Dad share stories about how it all began and their fondest memories of dating, marriage, and raising children over the years.  Mom and Dad have set the bar high for all of us when it comes to their high regard for marriage and family life.  

Cheers to Mom and Dad!  May you be blessed with many more years of marriage together!  

Prayers, Please!

Today, I am speaking to young women at an area high school about how to embrace and live out the virtue of chastity.  

Please pray that:

  1. The Holy Spirit gives me the words that these young women need to hear. 
  2. The Holy Spirit opens the ears of these young women to hear that the Church’s message about their sexuality is true, good, and beautiful. 
  3. The Holy Spirit impels these young women to find hope, healing, and strength in the life of the Church as they learn about God’s design for the marital embrace.

Thank you for your prayers!  Come, Holy Spirit!  

Adopt a Cardinal

Adopt a Cardinal

Are you looking for a unique way to support the cardinals as they come together to elect the next pope?  Look no further than adoptacardinal.org!  At adoptacardinal.org,  

You now have the opportunity to actively be part of this providential endeavour by having a Cardinal assigned to you, who you will support through your prayer and intercession during the coming weeks before and during the conclave and for three days following the election.

To register on the site, you simply enter: your name, your e-mail address, and a code to prove that you are not a robot abusing the site.  Then, you are assigned a cardinal to “adopt” throughout and beyond the papal conclave.  

After entering my information, I received information and a photo of my adopted cardinal, Timothy Cardinal Dolan.  

Photo from adoptacardinal.org

In addition to a photo, those adopting cardinals learn basic information such as: the cardinal’s birth date, the date of their entrance into the college of cardinals, where the cardinal is from, and his “function” (in Timothy Cardinal Dolan’s case, he is the Archbishop of New York, United States).

Consider adopting a cardinal as a family.  I am printing off Timothy Cardinal Dolan’s photo and placing it on the fridge to give us a visual reminder to pray for him.  Perhaps placing his photo on the fridge will encourage us to fast when we otherwise would have indulged!  We are trying to learn as much as we can about this man entrusted with this special office–reading about the Archdiocese of New York, subscribing to his personal blog, etc.  

Perhaps this is the former teacher in me talking, but I think it would be a fun
opportunity for you and your family to do a little “interdisciplinary study” on your adopted cardinal.  Here are a few ideas:

  • Print off a national or world map to pinpoint your cardinal’s geographical location.  
  • If possible, learn about your cardinal’s childhood.  Little ones love learning what important historical figures were like at their age.
  • Find and read any of his publications to learn a little more about the things of most importance to him.
  • Discover his country’s particular challenges/concerns.
  • Learn some basic phrases in his native tongue.
  • Find out what role his country plays in world and Church history.
  • Dedicate a dinner to celebrating and exploring the country’s or region’s cuisine.
  • Print off and pray “Come Holy Spirit, Creator Blest” together during your family prayer time:
    • Come, Holy Spirit, Creator blest,
      and in our souls take up Thy rest;
      come with Thy grace and heavenly aid
      to fill the hearts which Thou hast made.
      O comforter, to Thee we cry,
      O heavenly gift of God Most High,
      O fount of life and fire of love,
      and sweet anointing from above.

      Thou in Thy sevenfold gifts are known;
      Thou, finger of God’s hand we own;
      Thou, promise of the Father, Thou
      Who dost the tongue with power imbue.

      Kindle our sense from above,
      and make our hearts o’erflow with love;
      with patience firm and virtue high
      the weakness of our flesh supply.

      Far from us drive the foe we dread,
      and grant us Thy peace instead;
      so shall we not, with Thee for guide,
      turn from the path of life aside.

      Oh, may Thy grace on us bestow
      the Father and the Son to know;
      and Thee, through endless times confessed,
      of both the eternal Spirit blest.

      Now to the Father and the Son,
      Who rose from death, be glory given,
      with Thou, O Holy Comforter,
      henceforth by all in earth and heaven. Amen. 

        

Have you and your family adopted a cardinal?  What special things are you doing to bring this practice to life for your family?  Do you have any ideas to add to my list?  Please share them!  

If you haven’t adopted a cardinal yet, consider adopting one today at adoptacardinal.org

In addition to adopting a cardinal, please read Lisa Hendey’s article, “6 Cool Tools to Teach Your Children About the Conclave” to find more fun ways to learn about the conclave as a family.  

Happy 40th Anniversary, Mom and Dad!

Happy 40th Anniversary, Mom and Dad!

I am so proud to say that Mom and Dad celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary on Saturday!  They were just “babies” when they got married at 18 and 20 back in 1973.  Aren’t they adorable? 

The lovebirds made a little road trip to Colorado and got married over President’s Day weekend during their undergrad years.  40 years, 6 kids, and an ever-growing number of grandbabies later, their love is still growing strong.  

Thank you, Mom and Dad, for showing us through your example that marriage is a sacrament, a lifelong commitment, and a daily decision to die to self in sacrifice of your spouse and family.  Cheers to you and many, many more years of marriage!

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