![Ramblings As The Kids' Naptime Winds Down]()
by Catherine | Jan 1, 2014 | Everything Else, Family
Talented writers and grammarians of the world, please forgive me for this post. I know I’m nearing the end of the children’s nap time, and I just had to get this post out. It won’t be pretty, and it probably won’t sound right, but it’ll get the job done.
I can’t write another word until I mention how stinkin’ proud I am of Amanda for sharing her story in our series on infertility. If you missed it, please check it out. I love you, Amanda! My blog was more popular than ever with your beautiful presence (averaging about 500 hits per day), so I think you should come back more often! Ha! Really, though, thank you for being such a treasure. Love you!
HAPPY NEW YEAR! I just adore celebrating the New Year. I love fresh starts of any kind. Ever since I started staying home with Jane, I even started liking Monday mornings.
As part of my fresh start for the year, I am buying my own brand spanking new domain name for the blog. Hallelujah is My Song has been a great home for a few years (have I already been blogging that long?!), but it’s time to move on to my own domain. I will probably launch within the next few weeks. Until then, I am busy transferring my content and trying to make it look pretty. Any of you enjoy doing that kind of thing? Wanna help a girl out? Let me know! You will be famous for designing the Catherine Boucher’s personal blog! đ
Aside from launching the new and improved blog, I am busy creating a schedule for myself and the kiddos. I recently re-discovered Nanny 911 of Netflix. It’s funny watching shows at different points in your life. When I watched the show in college, I used to think, “Idiots. These parents have no idea what they’re doing! If I were this brat’s mom, I’d ________…” Then, we had kids. When I watched an episode last week, I thought things like, “Aw, that poor mom. I just want to give her a hug. Ooooooo, Nanny, great idea! I should TOTALLY be doing that!”
This is my long way of saying that Nanny suggests creating a master schedule for the home. This way, stay-at-home parents don’t look at a full day with little children and get overwhelmed with all of the time on their hands. While the kids and I have had a relatively structured home life, I look forward to having dedicated time to specific activities. I’m still working out a few kinks and deciding exactly which activities to add/scratch, but it’s been great! The kids and I are THRIVING with our new schedule! I’ll share the specifics in a future post.
I’m pseudo-homeschooling the kids throughout the day. That’s my way of saying we have more structure around these parts and some real deal learning happening. My favorite addition to our schedule is “Circle Time” in the morning. The kids and I sit on a blanket in the family room. We start with our Morning Offering, then we have calendar time (talk about the year, month, day of the week, review yesterday/today/tomorrow, etc.), virtue of the week (I’m really liking PATIENCE!), morning stretches to get our wiggles out, etc. We switch activities every 15-30 minutes. The kids love it, and so do I.
OK, the last thing. The really big thing. The thing that’s been taking over for about the last two months. I need your prayers. I’ve been battling Post-Partum Depression. Philip very lovingly helped me to realize it, and I’ve found help in a fabulous local Catholic medical apostolate. It’s still a day-to-day journey, but overall, I’m doing much better. The combination of my treatments (progesterone therapy), reaching out to family & friends, and our new schedule at home are all helping tremendously. I would adore any and all prayers you can offer up for us–especially for Philip, who has been my knight in shining armor by my side. I plan to write more about all of that, but I wanted to be sure and ask for your prayers right now. Please and thank you, prayer warriors.
St. Joseph, patron saint for our family in 2014, pray for us!
![Ramblings As The Kids’ Naptime Winds Down]()
by Catherine | Jan 1, 2014 | Everything Else, Family
Talented writers and grammarians of the world, please forgive me for this post. I know I’m nearing the end of the children’s nap time, and I just had to get this post out. It won’t be pretty, and it probably won’t sound right, but it’ll get the job done.
I can’t write another word until I mention how stinkin’ proud I am of Amanda for sharing her story in our series on infertility. If you missed it, please check it out. I love you, Amanda! My blog was more popular than ever with your beautiful presence (averaging about 500 hits per day), so I think you should come back more often! Ha! Really, though, thank you for being such a treasure. Love you!
HAPPY NEW YEAR! I just adore celebrating the New Year. I love fresh starts of any kind. Ever since I started staying home with Jane, I even started liking Monday mornings.
As part of my fresh start for the year, I am buying my own brand spanking new domain name for the blog. Hallelujah is My Song has been a great home for a few years (have I already been blogging that long?!), but it’s time to move on to my own domain. I will probably launch within the next few weeks. Until then, I am busy transferring my content and trying to make it look pretty. Any of you enjoy doing that kind of thing? Wanna help a girl out? Let me know! You will be famous for designing the Catherine Boucher’s personal blog! đ
Aside from launching the new and improved blog, I am busy creating a schedule for myself and the kiddos. I recently re-discovered Nanny 911 of Netflix. It’s funny watching shows at different points in your life. When I watched the show in college, I used to think, “Idiots. These parents have no idea what they’re doing! If I were this brat’s mom, I’d ________…” Then, we had kids. When I watched an episode last week, I thought things like, “Aw, that poor mom. I just want to give her a hug. Ooooooo, Nanny, great idea! I should TOTALLY be doing that!”
This is my long way of saying that Nanny suggests creating a master schedule for the home. This way, stay-at-home parents don’t look at a full day with little children and get overwhelmed with all of the time on their hands. While the kids and I have had a relatively structured home life, I look forward to having dedicated time to specific activities. I’m still working out a few kinks and deciding exactly which activities to add/scratch, but it’s been great! The kids and I are THRIVING with our new schedule! I’ll share the specifics in a future post.
I’m pseudo-homeschooling the kids throughout the day. That’s my way of saying we have more structure around these parts and some real deal learning happening. My favorite addition to our schedule is “Circle Time” in the morning. The kids and I sit on a blanket in the family room. We start with our Morning Offering, then we have calendar time (talk about the year, month, day of the week, review yesterday/today/tomorrow, etc.), virtue of the week (I’m really liking PATIENCE!), morning stretches to get our wiggles out, etc. We switch activities every 15-30 minutes. The kids love it, and so do I.
OK, the last thing. The really big thing. The thing that’s been taking over for about the last two months. I need your prayers. I’ve been battling Post-Partum Depression. Philip very lovingly helped me to realize it, and I’ve found help in a fabulous local Catholic medical apostolate. It’s still a day-to-day journey, but overall, I’m doing much better. The combination of my treatments (progesterone therapy), reaching out to family & friends, and our new schedule at home are all helping tremendously. I would adore any and all prayers you can offer up for us–especially for Philip, who has been my knight in shining armor by my side. I plan to write more about all of that, but I wanted to be sure and ask for your prayers right now. Please and thank you, prayer warriors.
St. Joseph, patron saint for our family in 2014, pray for us!
![The Cross of Infertility With Amanda Teixeira (Part 4 of 4)]()
by Catherine | Dec 30, 2013 | Everything Else, Faith, Marriage
If youâre just stumbling upon this series, please do yourself a favor, and read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. In Part 1, I introduced the series, and my dear friend, Amanda Teixeira, stole the show with her captivating love story with her husband, Jonathan. In Part 2, Amanda helped us to understand what infertility feels like. In Part 3, Amanda shared what NOT to do or say when a loved one is facing infertility.
In Part 4, Amanda gives us ideas how TO support a loved one facing infertility. We also discussed how faith plays in to all of this, how Amanda and Jonathan support one another, the best ways for friends with children to support them, resources for couples facing infertility, and Amandaâs closing thoughts.
Just like in Parts 1-3, my questions appear in red italics, and Amandaâs responses appear in regular type.
* * *
Part 4 of The Cross of Infertility
How TO Support a Loved One Facing Infertility
What are some of the most helpful and healing things others have said or done? What made these gestures so moving?
1. Praying for and with us.
We know many people have actually prayed novenas with and for us. Others have offered Masses and told us. Still others have included us on their pilgrimages to holy sites or brought us blessed religious articles from different places across the world. These are really comforting to us. These gestures make us feel like we arenât alone. Others are physically helping us carry the cross in these actions.
2. Inviting us over and opening their lives to us.
Several other couples who struggle with infertility have taken us under their wings. I always walk away from those convos refreshed and ready to keep carrying the cross.
Even fertile couples inviting us over to actually join them in their lives is incredibly healing for us. We get to be around a family and the realities of what itâs like to have kids around. This never makes us jealous or sad. We just enjoy feeling welcomed into the life of othersâ families and it helps Jonathan and I feel more like a family even if itâs just us two. It also gives us hope of what might be in store for us someday.
3. Asking us how they can help
.
This really takes boldness, and I really appreciate it when a friend asks this. Infertility is like being on the cross with Jesus. I am totally linked to him. I am well aware that we are asking a LOT of our friends and family to be near us in the struggle. Itâs like when Jesus was on the cross – only Mary, John, and a few women stood nearby. It took tremendous amounts of courage to stay by Jesus on the cross and in turn, it takes a lot of courage to ask people to stand with us while we hang on the cross. Most people wonât have the emotional ability to stay with us, and I know that. But those willing to try and stick near us…I treasure with all my heart because they are far and few between.
4. Sending us notes/gifts/gift cards to go have fun with.
Weâve had people send us groupons or gift cards to go out to eat or to grab coffee. Yes, weâre busy with work and some outside of work activities but yea, we have time on our hands. Time I all too often resent. When family/friends intentionally step in the gap and try to help me enjoy the time, I am thankful.
Once, I even got flowers with an encouraging message on a day I had some particularly difficult blood tests that a friend knew about. I canât tell you how loved I felt in that moment.
5. Asking us how we are doing.
There is a difference between really asking this and just being nosy. Everyone knows the difference. The sincere asks are refreshing to me. If I donât feel like answering, I will let you know. More often than not, I am carrying this burden alone with Jonathan and just praying someone will ask me how I am really doing. Itâs healthy for me to vent from time to time and open up to people who really care about me. I appreciate sincere people wanting to know how I am doing, especially because I feel awkward bringing this topic up because I donât want to burden others.
One of the questions pregnant gals get ALL THE TIME is âhow are you feeling?â Iâve never been pregnant, but in FOCUS I am surrounded by pregnant women EVERYWHERE, and so I hear it a lot. For the infertile girl, this question is hard and awkward and most people donât ask because they simply canât handle the suffering that will definitely come forth…which is why I am grateful for mature friends and family who willingly walk right into the hurt with me and open a door for me to share my heart.
Being faithful Catholics, how does God play a role in all of this for you and Jonathan? Do you distinguish between God’s ordained will and His permissive will in regards to your fertility?
This has been one of the hardest questions for us to struggle with honestly.
Questions that bounce through my mind: âWhy would God, the author of all life, put a baby in the womb of a woman who will surely go abort it?â or âWhy would God put a baby in the womb of a woman whose family will abuse the child?â or even, âSince God hasnât blessed us with life, does that mean he doesnât want us to be parents or we would be bad parents?â
There are no answers when I throw these questions at God. Usually only silence. All I do know is that he doesnât want any child aborted or abused, and he doesnât want me to suffer and feel like he hates me. But that is all I know. My life is surrounded with dozens of unanswered questions, as many peoples lives are with a variety of sufferings they endure.
What are the best ways that you support Jonathan? What are the best ways that he supports you?
Best way to support Jonathan? To be attentive to spending time with him and verbally tell him how happy I am to be married to him/value him in my life. I mentioned previously that he sometimes fears I hate my life married to him without babies…so I have to reassure him of my affections despite my sadness.
Best ways he can support me? Taking me on adventures and helping me put my dreams into a reality. For example: I have been wanting to run a half-marathon lately. Jonathan is helping research races across the country in fun places like California or Florida so we can train together and have something to look forward to.
What are the best moves for friends with children to do?
Keep me in their lives. I think people with children are afraid to talk to me about their children in fear I will have a meltdown. If someone is bragging about their kids to me, yea, I will get annoyed, but so would anyone.
If a friend with children is simply sharing a hilarious story or wants to talk (without complaining) about how tough it is to be attentive to their older children while they battle sleepless nights with a newborn, I am all ears. Thatâs their reality, and I want to be a part of it, not shut out. I have the emotional maturity to be a good friend even if I am not blessed with kiddos myself.
Now, there may be seasons when I simply keep my own distance, and donât think I hate you or anything. I am likely just grieving the most recent bad news (failed treatment, return of an infection, another negative pregnancy test, got 15 pregnancy announcements from other FOCUS women, etc.). Iâll be back. I just might not be able to accept your invitation to come over or attend that Baby Shower you are hosting for a friend.
What resources are available for couples facing infertility? What encouragement and support would you offer them?
3. Books.
4. Counseling.
5. Prayer, Spiritual Direction, and Confession.
I canât stress this foundation enough. With infertility, daily prayer is vital to warding off despair. Spiritual direction will also keep you sane. And confessionâŠit will be necessary use this Sacrament to dispel lies from the Devil you slip into believing.
OTHER THOUGHTS
I thought ending the series with something positive and uplifting would be best, since I feel like much of what I have to say is sad, confused, and bitter at times – which isnât the whole of it. So I made up a question or you could weave what I have to say into the ending of the last blog post.
How have you grown in your relationship with God during this time?
Sometimes I feel like I havenât. There are days I feel I am backsliding in my faith at best..Iâve actually cussed God out a time or two in my weakest moments. Pretty bad, right?
But then I look back on my faith from years ago. It was strong, yes, but it hadnât been tested. Now, with infertility, I feel as if Iâve been through the fiery furnace only to be sent right back through it again every time another cycle starts. Yep, there are days my faith is hanging on by a string. But most days, a sense of abandonment, surrender, wonder and awe, trust, perspective, humility, and wisdom come over me.
I feel 110% dependent on God alone…mostly because I literally canât DO anything to take my cross away. I know how weak I am and I quit trusting myself a long time ago with this cross. Itâs all Him now. My life finds its identity in God because Heâs the only One who canât let me down. Everything else is passing to me. I long for heaven. I donât care about my plans because His are better even if they donât feel better right now.
Sometimes I think God gave me the cross of infertility to force me into total surrender because I never would have gotten there any other way. That makes me grateful. Iâve always prayed that my life would be about Him and bringing Him glory. That my life would look like His. I really believe infertility is an answered prayer (rarely!!!! but I do sometimes) because I donât know if I would have been linked to Jesus through any other means. I get to be with him on the cross…and so itâs only a matter of time until he brings the resurrection into my life. What a sweet day that will be indeed.
* * *
Amanda, thank you so much for opening your heart and spilling out everything–your pain, your longing, your hope, and the truth about everything in between. Thank you for helping all of us reading to better understand how to love you and anyone we know carrying the cross of infertility. I am so proud to call you my dear friend. I pray that this blog series will help the rest of us unburden you from carrying this cross alone. You are a treasure!
![The Cross of Infertility With Amanda Teixeira (Part 3 of 4)]()
by Catherine | Dec 29, 2013 | Everything Else, Faith, Marriage
If youâre just stumbling upon this series, please do yourself a favor, and read Part 1 and Part 2 with Amanda Teixeira. In Part 1, I introduced the series, and Amanda stole the show with her captivating love story with her husband, Jonathan. In Part 2, Amanda helped us to understand what infertility feels like.
In Part 3, Amanda and I focus on how NOT to help a loved one facing infertility. We talked about the common ways people end up making their loved one feel worse by saying or doing the wrong thing. I imagine most people will find this segment very helpful. Amanda and I pray that our dialogue will be a source of blessing. I wanted to ask the hard questions, and Amanda wanted to answer them so that we can talk about what nobody seems to be talking about.
I hope Part 3 will be:
-
a microphone for couples needing a different kind of support from their loved ones
-
a safe haven where they will feel understood and supported
-
an opportunity those of us not currently facing infertility to better understand how to be supportive
I am especially proud of Amanda for sharing her candid and heart-wrenching responses in this section. It would have been easy for her to only share the sweet and pious-sounding responses, but she took a risk in revealing the âsnarky thoughts I usually keep to myself.â These are precisely the thoughts we all need to hear. The âsnarky thoughtsâ reveal Amandaâs real pain and raw emotion. These heart-wrenching responses open the door to dialogue and understanding between infertile couples and their loved ones.
Just like in Parts 1 & 2, my questions appear in red italics, and Amandaâs responses appear in regular type.
* * *
Part 3 of The Cross of Infertility
What NOT to do or say when your loved one is facing infertility
What are some of the most hurtful or least helpful things you and Jonathan have been told? How do these comments make you feel, and what makes them so hurtful to hear?
In no particular order, we or friends with infertility, have gotten the following comments. I will provide brief explanations of why these can be hurtful…with some of
my own snarky thoughts I usually keep to myself.
1. If you just relax you will get pregnant.
Yea, been there and tried that. Now, I am stressed out with trying to relax. If only it was this simple, people! How about you pay for me to get weekly massages, pedis and manis, acupuncture, and yoga? The financial tag attached to ârelaxingâ is enough to cause a new wave of stress.
Or, how about I stay home all day and quit my job to focus on relaxing? Then, you will accuse me of being lazy. I canât win!
2. If you stop traveling and had a more stable job you will get pregnant.
Really? Out of the 25 months of trying to conceive, Iâve traveled about half the months to some degree and almost never when itâs a âfertile-window.â Again, if it were THAT easy, I would stop traveling. And most likely you just donât like my job and are trying to blame infertility on it, so I change my profession to something you prefer I do instead.
3. If you simply adopt you will get pregnant.
OK, well you can you join our missionary support team so we can pay for the $25,000 adoption price tag? If so, thank you!!! If not, shut up. Also, who are you…God? How do you know if weâll ever get pregnant? Just because this all too talked about phenomena HAS occurred in the past with some friendâs cousinâs sister-in-law doesnât mean it will happen to us. Youâre setting me up for a false hope here that you really canât guarantee.
Also, adopting is not an instant fix. Itâs a calling in and of itself. I know infertile couples that end up feeling called to adopt, and that is awesome. I know some who do not receive that call. A child should never be adopted because you couldnât have your own kids, so you settled for second best and bought a kid. It should be done because that child up for adoption is worth loving and you desire to be their parents, regardless of your fertility issues.
Thankfully,, Jonathan and I wanted to pursue adoption way before we ever got married. We love adoption, and even if we had 10 biological children, itâs something we wanted to pursue at some point. But adoption wonât fill the hurt of infertility, and to assume it would is naive. It will be its own unique blessing.
4. Have you tried IVF/IUI/dancing like a chicken in the yard while a full moon is out yet?
Some of the advice we get is from others whose values donât align with ours. No, we arenât open to IUI or IVF as Catholics who actually follow Church Teaching because we believe itâs for our good. Just because I am not willing to pursue those doesnât mean I am not trying. Donât treat us like we donât âreallyâ want kids if we donât want to try artificial means of reproduction.
We also get advice from crazy people who heard about something that helped a couple get pregnant. If you are actually sincere and care about us, I will not be hurt by whatever it is. I will likely research it a bit and talk about it with my doctor. If you are trying to be nosy or talk about something you donât really know anything about – again, shut up and donât give me false hope in this âmiracleâ treatment you heard about working once for a couple in Indonesia.
5. Are you having sex?
SHOOT! We have to do that? That must be the reason! Thanks!
OK – dropping the sarcasm for a real response. This questions is nosey and demeaning. Of course we know where babies come from, you idiot. With infertility, itâs hard to have meaningful sex at times. Itâs easy to get burned out and for our intimate lives to be filled with pressure, stress, perfect timing, etc. It can become utilitarian in all honesty, unless the couple really tries hard to keep it humorous and filled with intimacy. Pray for infertile couples to never lose the sense of communion in this most intimate act, regardless of whether they ever get to co-create a life with God.
6. If you stop working out so much you will get pregnant.
I still have a healthy body fat and get a monthly period. I donât bench 200 lbs, run 10 miles a day, or take steroids to beef up. I am not over-working out.
7. If Jonathan stops using a laptop or carrying his phone in his pocket, you will get pregnant.
Again, if only if it were that easy. And his computer is on a desk anyway and his phone is always lost.
8. Be thankful for the time you have together now.
I am. But itâs also not the life we thought we would be living 2 years into married life, and that is hard to deal with.
Iâve gotten this comment most often from the âfertilesâ who are busy raising kids of their own whom they conceived on their honeymoons/first year of marriage. I get it – theyâre desiring more time with their spouse and have never really known married life without kiddos, which is hard. But itâs still hurtful. You fertiles are living the life I wish I had…and letâs face it, you wouldnât trade your life to be infertile and in my shoes, and I know it.
9. Would you like to babysit my children to get your âkid-fix?â
Walk away before I hurt you.
10. Just surrender. When we stopped trying, that is when we got pregnant.
You are assuming I havenât surrendered. Letâs be honest, I havenât surrendered fully but this comment has spiritual entitlement all over it. As soon as I do the act of ___________ (insert surrender, pray this prayer, etc.), God will bless me with a child.
God will bless us with life when itâs His will. It wonât depend on me doing the right prayers, spiritual acts, or positive state of mind. Many women with infertility get pregnant while having never truly found peace with it. Some find peace with it and then get pregnant. Itâs Godâs timing and will never be dictated by me doing anything to force his hand. Is it possible he will give me the grace to surrender and then I will conceive? Maybe. It could also go a million other ways according to what His will is and I am just along for the ride each day.
11. I have the opposite problem. We canât stop getting pregnant.
I know that can be a real cross too. I donât want to belittle the stress that can bring to a marriage, but itâs just not the right comment to give me. Let me tell you how that comment feels:
I am stranded in a desert and on the brink of death from dehydration. You ride past on horseback, toting 100 gallons of water behind you. While you pass by, you complain about your assignment to tote all this water across the desert and how tiring itâs been. While it may truly be a cross to you at the moment, I canât see anything but the 100 gallons of water and what that would mean to me in this state of deprivation.
Translation – I know you are struggling, but I canât see anything but the sheer happiness in your family, and I am mad that you have it and arenât appreciating it for the SHEER GIFT it is.
13. It just isnât Godâs will right now but it will happen.
You arenât God. You donât know. I donât know. This very well may be a lifelong cross for us…we hope not, but it might be, and your assumptive comments, while attempting to be helpful, may be growing false hopes in my heart.
14. Have you tried this novena?
Probably. Again, if you have been through these waters or really care about us, thank you. I will look into it. If not and youâre just making small talk – stop, you really donât need to.
15. What are your issues?
Yet again, if you are also struggling with infertility or actually care about us, I am happy to tell you/share stories/cry together/pray together.
If you are just a nosy person who likes to be âin the knowâ so you can gossip about our medical issues later…you better hope I never find out, or I will seriously give you a piece of my mind.
16. Whoâs heard this one??? âWant to understand marriage? Think about the Trinity- God the Father loved the Son and the love between them was another person – the Holy Spirit. In marriage the same thing occurs. The husband gives himself to his wife and the love is so real that nine months later you have to give it a name.â
I understand there is deep symbolism here but as an infertile couple, all I hear is, âI am not a real married person since our sex lives donât mirror the Trinity in bringing forth life.â Comments like this make me feel like we are simply animals acting out of instinct and less souls experiencing deep interpersonal communion, since our acts of intercourse are sterile.
17. Last but not least – âThen we became Catholic and the kids started coming, because thatâs what happens when you are Catholic.â
I heard this one at work actually…while sitting at a table with other people battling infertility. I couldnât feel more isolated and un-Catholic than in that moment.
What do you think are the common misconceptions people have about infertility?
Iâve covered a few above, but I think the biggest would be that adoption is the cure-all to any infertile couples situations. âJust adoptâ is the mantra of advice people seem to throw out as soon as they heard about our infertility. They assume that it will solve all our problems. I donât think people know how intense and hard adoption can be in and of itself. If they did, they likely wouldn’t be throwing it out like itâs some simple fix to our shattered dreams.
Within your own relationship, I am sure you and Jonathan had to figure out the best ways to support one another. What did you learn were the worst things you could do or say to each other?
In the beginning, Jonathan was the one to say, âItâll happen,â and then another month would pass by without a pregnancy. This began to eat away at me because it felt like a string of broken promises. Weâve since accepted that we donât know the will of God. We hope it will be for us to be parents, but we simply donât know. Jonathan sticks with, âGodâs will is for our good. Never to harm us. If he gave us His own Son, why would he forget us now?â Statements we can actually cling to with firm hope, despite if we ever have children.
I used to say things like, âYou donât even care about this!â because he never cried about infertility or thought about it like I did. Now, I know he does care, but it looks different, and Iâve stopped accusing him of being a heartless husband or leaving me to shoulder the entire burden.
I imagine there is some tension in some of your relationships with friends not struggling with fertility. What are the worst moves for friends with children to do?
We just donât get invited to much. All the families with kids invite other families with kids to come hang out…so their kids can play. All the singles invite other singles to do things, assuming the married folks are busy. The pool of friends willing to hang out with us consistently is newly married couples without kids…and as each year passes, this group shrinks since those couples start having kids. This hurts, but we assume that no one is trying to leave us out, it just naturally happens.
Worst moves for friends with kids – COMPLAINING!!!! I think complaining is something we all should nix from our lives in general, but I canât stand pregnant women or women with kids complaining. Women complain (particularily on Facebook) left and right about their kids spilling this, having a diaper blow-out, kids fighting at the store, them not being able to get anything done since their kid doesnât nap…etc. I would amputate my left leg IF ONLY I could be inconvencied by a child. Those are all my fantasies! Canât you see that these âobstaclesâ are linked to little miracles? Please, donât complain about the biggest gift youâve ever been given in your whole entire life! Treasure it, and zip your lips when you are tempted to complain.
* * *
I know Amanda was nervous to share her responses, but I am so glad she did. I imagine a lot of you are either thinking, âWow, Iâve so been there,â or, âWow, I had no idea.â Either way, I imagine Amandaâs responses are a tremendous blessing.
In Part 4 of The Cross of Infertility, Amanda and I wanted to end on a high note. We wanted the readers to know the depth and reality of Amandaâs pain, but we also wanted them to know that life is not all doom and gloom for her. We will focus on how to encourage and lift up a couple experiencing infertility. Amanda will share resources, encouragement, and final thoughts on her journey.
Specifically, Amanda will answer these questions:
-
What are some of the most helpful and healing things others have said or done? What made these gestures so moving?
-
Being faithful Catholics, how does God play a role in all of this for you and Jonathan? Do you distinguish between God’s ordained will and His permissive will in regards to your fertility?
-
What are the best ways that you support Jonathan? What are the best ways that he supports you?
-
What are the best moves for friends with children to do?
-
What resources are available for couples facing infertility? What encouragement and support would you offer them?
-
How have you grown in your relationship with God in this time?
I hope you will join us tomorrow for Part 4!
