![PMS-ing and “Safe Friends”]()
by Catherine | Aug 6, 2014 | Everything Else
THANK YOU! In my last post, I asked again for your prayers and your prayer intentions. THANK YOU for your prayers and for asking for mine. I’m feeling more patient with the kids, and the little changes I wrote about last time are making a big difference. God’s teaching this little complainer how to stop wasting whatever big or little suffering comes my way through offering it up. I am so grateful for those of you who have asked me to pray for specific intentions. It is so helpful to have a tangible list of prayer requests a few feet away when I’m tempted to throw in the towel on the day or have a pity party. It helps to put my suffering to work and weave prayer throughout the day. I’m sure some of you are laughing at this post, thinking about my not-so-big suffering and my “first-world problems.” That’s okay because I know it is pretty ridiculous. Yet, God’s meeting me where I am, and I’m making itty bitty little baby steps toward trying to be more saintly with your help. In theory, it’ll be my training to be ready whenever the big stuff comes. So, thank you for sharing your prayer intentions.
Onto the point of this post: Can we just admit that it’s tough to feel like a good mom to young children when you’re PMS-ing? I’ve been keeping track of when my moods are wacka-wacka-wacka in relation to where I am in my cycle. I learned that PMS is the real deal during our marriage prep Creighton Model classes, but I never sought help. Perhaps a lil progesterone therapy will be in my future for PMS!
Knowing that I’d be PMS-ing this week, I knew I’d need all of the extra help I could get in the prayer department. Additionally, I thought it’d be smart to pick up the phone and set up a few playdates with “safe friends.”
What’s a “safe friend,” you ask? Well, a safe friend is a friend you can call up at anytime to say, “I think I’m going crazy over here. We need a playdate so that I don’t do something I’m going to regret.” It seems to be a Law of Motherhood that when you and your children shouldn’t be seen in public that you need to get out the most. The times when I want to leave the house the least are the times when I need a safe friend. A safe friend will take the call, hear your plea to get together, and make it happen.
Safe friends bring new energy to the day, diffuse the craziness, remind you to keep fighting the good fight, and cheerlead you on to bedtime. You’ll leave a safe friend playdate feeling like a good mom–even if your kid has an epic temper tantrum or you start PMS crying. Safe friends get that motherhood isn’t always perfect or pretty, and they’re there with you through the teething, potty training, and hormone roller coasters. They know that we love our job but that sometimes we need some reinforcements.
Safe friends make you glad you asked for a playdate so that even when the good, the bad, and the ugly are on display, you’re not fearing that she’s thinking, “There’s a whole bunch of crazy happening over here, and I am never coming back.” When it’s a perfect storm day of craziness and you’re just trying to make it to bedtime, it’s oh so glorious to have an unfazed firsthand witness to your life sincerely tell you that you’re doing a good job. Inevitably, I can lift her up next week when she asks me to talk her down because of her 3-year-old’s penchant for whining. Safe friends return the favor that way.
Do you have safe friends? How do you help each other out? What happens when a playdate can’t happen? How have you been a safe friend?
by Catherine | Aug 4, 2014 | Faith, Family
Do you love Monday mornings like I do? I love the fresh start–mostly because I usually (99.9% of the time) feel like I need the fresh start.
This Monday morning, I’m asking for your prayers for patience with the kids and a reminder of the significance of this vocation. I need to stop yelling. I need to go across the room, get down on the kids’ level, and make eye contact when I’m making requests. I need to enlist them to help more–both because they like to help and because they need to learn these skills as they go. I need to remain patient as they learn their new skills. I need to remember that they are acting appropriate for their age. When they are not acting appropriate for their age, I need to discipline effectively. I need to intervene ASAP and be consistent. I need to help them work through their emotions. I need to take deep breaths before I discipline or swoop in when they’re needing an intervention. I need to have more “time-ins” of quality time than “time-outs.” I need to remember that they are my vocation and not an obstacle to accomplishing it.
In trying to do all of this, I appreciate your prayers, but I need one more favor: Can you please let me pray for you? Can you please share your intentions with me? In my last post, I wrote about how I’m keeping a journal full of intentions. When I’m tempted to do all of the things I’m trying to avoid (yelling, nagging, going it alone with the chores, etc.), I want to have a list of prayer intentions to turn to. As I go about my day, knowing that I have a mission to unite whatever little things I’m struggling with to the cross for the sake of your prayer intentions will give me the drive and motivation to:
- be a better mama
- put suffering (big and small) to work for good
Can we start this week off right together? Can I pray for you, and can you please (please, please, please???) pray for me?
![When I'm Dying, Please Do This]()
by Catherine | Aug 1, 2014 | Faith
I’ve become a Father John Riccardo podcast junkie. I’m still processing his podcast on the sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick. I learned some great insights into the sacrament itself. More importantly, Father Riccardo reminded me of the tremendous dignity the suffering and dying have. We all should listen to the show, but those of us who are either dying ourselves or know someone on their deathbed need to hear these words. (Click this link to access the podcast.) Reject what the world says about the dying, and remind them of their invaluable mission:
“One of the key words in the Christian life is to ‘participate’ or to ‘cooperate with.’ There’s one redeemer. His name is Jesus, and yet He wants you and me to participate with Him in the work of redemption. We do that in a particular way when we suffer. That’s why I’m of the opinion that no one’s prayers are more powerful than the prayers of somebody who suffers, because they’re being conformed to Christ.
So, when you take Communion to the homebound or to the people in nursing homes, don’t just bring them the Eucharist. Bring them intentions. Let them know, because the challenge when you’re sick, especially when you’re dying, is that you’re useless.
You know, like, ‘The people out there are having all the fun. They have a quality of life. I’m lying here in my bed in traction. What good am I?’
‘Well, here’s what good you are. You’re participating with the Lord in the work of redeeming the human race. You are not wasting away here. He is inviting you to share in his cross. Is it romantic? No. Is it fun? No. Will you see the payoff of it here? No, at least probably not. But one day you’ll see it.’
And, so, give them intentions. Give them names of people. Just say, ‘You know what, I want to ask you, because I really do think that your prayers are so significant because you’re sharing right now in his passion. If you would pray for these people, would you please do that?’
And almost all the time, you will see somebody sit like this (sitting up). You’re not simply giving them something to do; you’re giving them a sense of worth. You’ll see them begin to stand up or sit back. Well, now there’s a sense of dignity.
‘Now the Lord can use me. He’s not done with me.’
‘Why am I lying here still? Why hasn’t He taken me?’
‘Well, he hasn’t taken you because he’s using you to work with him in redeeming the world, that’s why! Would it be great to be home? Sure, it would, but there’s more to do still. So, hang in, and pray for these people (on the list that you give them).'”
When I’m dying, please do what Fr. Riccardo says. First, please bring a priest. Ask that I receive Anointing of the Sick. Then, be bullheaded and don’t let me waste an ounce of my suffering. Bring me long lists of intentions. Tell me to unite any of my suffering to Jesus’ cross. Remind me of the important job I have to do.
“Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is the Church.” (Colossians 1:24)
What’s lacking in His suffering? Well, nothing. “It is finished.” (John 19:30)
Yet, He mystically invites us to participate in his suffering so that we can help redeem the world. He’ll do the redeeming since he’s the only redeemer, but my membership in the Body of Christ gives me dignity and a mission. Even on my death bed, I will have the supreme dignity of being made in His image and likeness. Until I breathe my last, I will have a mission to unite any sufferings I have to the cross to help redeem the world.
When I need an example of someone who knew how to suffer well, bring me these images of St. John Paul II:
Better yet, don’t wait until I’m on my death bed to do all of that. As Fr. Riccardo said in the podcast, “we’re all terminal” from the moment we’re born. Teach me how to get into the practice of doing all of this before I’m at death’s door. No more wasting the bad days. Remind me how to “offer it up.” If you think I need it, remind me that Anointing of the Sick isn’t just for the dying. God willing, with your help, I’ll be spiritually fit enough to die a holy death whenever that time comes.
For now, to help me train toward that goal, I’m keeping a list of intentions. I’m going to add to it whenever someone asks me to pray for them. Then, when I’m having pity parties or feeling overwhelmed with whatever suffering (big or small) that’s going on, I’ll open up my intentions list. It won’t end the suffering, but it’ll give it purpose. With enough practice, I pray that I’ll remem
ber when I’m ‘just’ getting chemo, lying in a hospital bed, sitting in a nursing home, or entering my last days of hospice care to give my suffering purpose. By God’s grace (and the bullheaded reminders of my loved ones), any suffering I experience will be put to work.
Will you please help me to start my training? Please share any intentions you have! Then, if you hear me complaining or having a pity party about something, you have my permission to say, “Catherine, put your list to work!”
![When I’m Dying, Please Do This]()
by Catherine | Aug 1, 2014 | Faith
I’ve become a Father John Riccardo podcast junkie. I’m still processing his podcast on the sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick. I learned some great insights into the sacrament itself. More importantly, Father Riccardo reminded me of the tremendous dignity the suffering and dying have. We all should listen to the show, but those of us who are either dying ourselves or know someone on their deathbed need to hear these words. (Click this link to access the podcast.) Reject what the world says about the dying, and remind them of their invaluable mission:
“One of the key words in the Christian life is to ‘participate’ or to ‘cooperate with.’ There’s one redeemer. His name is Jesus, and yet He wants you and me to participate with Him in the work of redemption. We do that in a particular way when we suffer. That’s why I’m of the opinion that no one’s prayers are more powerful than the prayers of somebody who suffers, because they’re being conformed to Christ.
So, when you take Communion to the homebound or to the people in nursing homes, don’t just bring them the Eucharist. Bring them intentions. Let them know, because the challenge when you’re sick, especially when you’re dying, is that you’re useless.
You know, like, ‘The people out there are having all the fun. They have a quality of life. I’m lying here in my bed in traction. What good am I?’
‘Well, here’s what good you are. You’re participating with the Lord in the work of redeeming the human race. You are not wasting away here. He is inviting you to share in his cross. Is it romantic? No. Is it fun? No. Will you see the payoff of it here? No, at least probably not. But one day you’ll see it.’
And, so, give them intentions. Give them names of people. Just say, ‘You know what, I want to ask you, because I really do think that your prayers are so significant because you’re sharing right now in his passion. If you would pray for these people, would you please do that?’
And almost all the time, you will see somebody sit like this (sitting up). You’re not simply giving them something to do; you’re giving them a sense of worth. You’ll see them begin to stand up or sit back. Well, now there’s a sense of dignity.
‘Now the Lord can use me. He’s not done with me.’
‘Why am I lying here still? Why hasn’t He taken me?’
‘Well, he hasn’t taken you because he’s using you to work with him in redeeming the world, that’s why! Would it be great to be home? Sure, it would, but there’s more to do still. So, hang in, and pray for these people (on the list that you give them).'”
When I’m dying, please do what Fr. Riccardo says. First, please bring a priest. Ask that I receive Anointing of the Sick. Then, be bullheaded and don’t let me waste an ounce of my suffering. Bring me long lists of intentions. Tell me to unite any of my suffering to Jesus’ cross. Remind me of the important job I have to do.
“Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is the Church.” (Colossians 1:24)
What’s lacking in His suffering? Well, nothing. “It is finished.” (John 19:30)
Yet, He mystically invites us to participate in his suffering so that we can help redeem the world. He’ll do the redeeming since he’s the only redeemer, but my membership in the Body of Christ gives me dignity and a mission. Even on my death bed, I will have the supreme dignity of being made in His image and likeness. Until I breathe my last, I will have a mission to unite any sufferings I have to the cross to help redeem the world.
When I need an example of someone who knew how to suffer well, bring me these images of St. John Paul II:
Better yet, don’t wait until I’m on my death bed to do all of that. As Fr. Riccardo said in the podcast, “we’re all terminal” from the moment we’re born. Teach me how to get into the practice of doing all of this before I’m at death’s door. No more wasting the bad days. Remind me how to “offer it up.” If you think I need it, remind me that Anointing of the Sick isn’t just for the dying. God willing, with your help, I’ll be spiritually fit enough to die a holy death whenever that time comes.
For now, to help me train toward that goal, I’m keeping a list of intentions. I’m going to add to it whenever someone asks me to pray for them. Then, when I’m having pity parties or feeling overwhelmed with whatever suffering (big or small) that’s going on, I’ll open up my intentions list. It won’t end the suffering, but it’ll give it purpose. With enough practice, I pray that I’ll remember when I’m ‘just’ getting chemo, lying in a hospital bed, sitting in a nursing home, or entering my last days of hospice care to give my suffering purpose. By God’s grace (and the bullheaded reminders of my loved ones), any suffering I experience will be put to work.
Will you please help me to start my training? Please share any intentions you have! Then, if you hear me complaining or having a pity party about something, you have my permission to say, “Catherine, put your list to work!”
![Our Little Oratory]()
by Catherine | Jul 31, 2014 | Faith, The Homefront
Remember how I asked you for your input on how/where to create an oratory (prayer space in our home)?
Well, it’s (mostly) put together, so I thought I’d share a few pictures.
We have this great little area behind the family room loveseat. It’s a focal point when you enter the space, and it’s an area we pass by several times a day. I chose this as the spot for our little oratory.
First, I found this fantastic teal accent cabinet from Target on sale.
Look at all of the fun colors it comes in! I like the teal even better in person. I am so proud of myself for picking out a color that I love instead of something safe or neutral.
Then, I found a large paneled mirror from Home Goods that reminds me of a chapel window. Philip helped me to hang it above the cabinet. The room’s high ceilings and the mirror make the space seem larger.
Finally, I added the finishing touches and filled the cabinets. Here’s the (nearly) finished product:
We will continue adding to the space as time goes on.
In the left cabinet, I have the Bibles, books of saints, the Catechism, the family prayer binder, prayer journals, and other devotional materials.
In the right cabinet, I have the kids’ Bibles and other religious books, holy cards, and holy water. I used to have all of our rosaries here, but they became what you could call a “near occasion of sin” for Mr. Harry. He thinks all things with strings are numchucks and doesn’t understand the whole “we don’t throw sacramentals around” rule, so the rosaries got relocated.
I’m still deciding what I want to put on the middle shelves. The trouble is always those little hands and little mouths that love to throw and eat everything… Let me know if you have a great idea for a home with young children.
I thought long and hard about what I wanted to put on top of the cabinet. I decided on items that would expose the children to various vocations–the priesthood, religious life, and married life. Additionally, we needed a little pretty, so I put in some fresh flowers. Gotta love a $7.98 bouquet from Sam’s!
This is a special memento from my high school days at Duchesne Academy of the Sacred Heart. The statue captures St. Rose Philippine Duchesne (my confirmation name!) stroking the hair of a young girl. St. Rose Philippine Duchesne founded the Society of the Sacred Heart in America. Her order served the Native American communities where they traveled while establishing schools. The Native Americans called her the “woman who is always praying.” I love this tender scene between St. Rose Philippine Duchesne and the little child. What’s more beautiful than a woman happily serving the Lord by serving others?
This image of St. John Paul II, “Totus Tuus,” was done by local artist Terrence St. Hilaire. He specializes in Catholic and patriotic fine art. Isn’t that sketch beautiful? St. John Paul II is a personal hero of mine (and the guy behind the name of this blog). I love his model of suffering well and deep devotion to the Blessed Mother, illustrated by the Rosary in his right hand.
Finally, I included a black and white picture of us on our wedding day alongside our unity candle. I had this print already, but I want to get one of us from the moment of consecration during our nuptial Mass. It’s probably more fitting for a little oratory than us smooching! We want the kids to know that marriage, just like the priesthood and religious life, is a vocation that we are called to with the aim of bringing us, our spouse, and all of our children to sanctification. It’s not just a default thing you do when you’re not a priest or religious!
I love our little oratory! It’s been a great focal point for our home, and it brings me joy every time I look at it. Th
e kids love having all of their Bibles and religious books set apart, and they regularly sit in the little nook area to pore over the pages of Bible stories or lives of saints. Being able to access our prayer and devotional materials all in one convenient, prominent spot helps to make prayer the center and focus of our home.
Do you have a little oratory in your home? What kinds of things have you included? How do you use the space?
