by Catherine | Oct 8, 2014 | Faith
Brittany Maynard, a 29-year-old woman facing a stage 4 brain tumor, says that she has a right to “death with dignity.” “Death with dignity” is a euphemism for suicide with a prescription drug. Maynard’s doctors told her in April that she likely had 6 months left to live. She intends to take a prescription medication on November 1 to end her life while maintaining that it is not suicide.
“Death With Dignity”?
The phrase “death with dignity” reveals a misunderstanding of what dignity is in the first place. The presumption is that there’s a way to die without dignity.
Well, what is dignity anyway?
We get the word dignity from the Latin dignitas meaning “worth.” All human beings have dignity–inherent value and worth. The way we die has nothing to do with our worth. We have dignity because we are human. Period.
How did we get our dignity as humans?
“Let us make man in our image, after our likeness…” (Genesis 1:26)
We have dignity because God gave it to us. He made us in His image and likeness. What can be more dignified than being made in the image and likeness of our Creator? When we understand what dignity really is, we understand that it is impossible to die without it.
So, what do people mean when they say that they are seeking “death with dignity”? They seem to mean that it is undignified, or beneath the worth of a human, to have to suffer. We hear this language all the time–especially when the person envisions themselves “becoming a burden” to loved ones or going through the humiliation of losing their physical or mental capacities.
It seems ridiculous to hear that line of thinking and gaze upon a crucifix.
Or look at images from The Passion of the Christ
Christ suffered.
He was humiliated.
Would we even dream of saying that He died without dignity?
He is God, and He went through humiliation and suffering before His death for us. Nonetheless, we seem to think that we are above certain ways of dying.
While we don’t believe that suffering is good, and we can make appropriate medical interventions to avoid it unnecessarily, we may still suffer as we die. Palliative care is a wonderful blessing and gift for the dying, but we are not guaranteed that death will be as neat, tidy, convenient, efficient, or easy as we try to make the rest of our lives. So, if our death comes with suffering, we might as well put it to work.
Just like the woman in the story, I am a 29-year-old woman full of hope and plans for the future. I have no idea what God has in store for me. I pray that His plan includes raising our children into adulthood and living a long, healthy life, but it may not.
I’ve never received a stage 4 brain cancer diagnosis, but as Fr. John Riccardo says, “we’re all terminal,” from the moment we’re born. I don’t get to choose when or how I’ll die, but I pray that God will give me the strength to do it well. My life is pure gift, only He gives me dignity, and only He will get to decide when my life will end.
The culture of death wants us to embrace suicide as “death with dignity.” To convince us that “death with dignity” is a good choice, the proponents have to do language gymnastics. Brittany Maynard describes “death with dignity” like this:
“It is an end-of-life option for mentally competent, terminally ill patients with a prognosis of six months or less to live. It would enable me to use the medical practice of aid in dying: I could request and receive a prescription from a physician for medication that I could self-ingest to end my dying process if it becomes unbearable.”
“Aid in dying”? “End my dying process”? Suicide is the taking of one’s own life. How can taking a prescription to end one’s life be considered anything but suicide? Look no further than the comment boxes related to this story, and the people choosing “death with dignity” are called heroic, selfless, and brave.
I wrote a few months ago that I want people to do this when I’m dying: get a priest, make sure I receive the sacraments, and keep bringing me lists of intentions of people to pray for until I die. By God’s grace, I’ll be able to die a holy death. If I’m honest with myself, I admit that I’m terribly weak, so I’m trying to get spiritually fit for that moment now. I’m keeping lists of intentions and *trying* to remember to unite all of my sufferings (big and itty bitty) to the cross. That’s tough stuff. That’s the stuff saints are made of. Yet, that’s what we’re all called to.
As we approach November 1 (All Saints Day), the day that Brittany Maynard has chosen to commit suicide, let’s all pray that those suffering find strength in the risen Lord and remember their dignity. May they imitate the lives of the heroic men and women in heaven who also suffered, remembered their dignity, took up their crosses, and followed Him.
“If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23)
If you or a loved one is struggling with how to navigate end-of-life issues, consult the National Catholic Bioethics Center. They provide a free consultation service with qualified ethicists on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week — (215) 877-2660. They also publish an informative Catholic Guide to End-of-Life Decisions.
by Catherine | Oct 6, 2014 | Faith
Lord knows I’m always needing prayers, and I’m sure you could use some, too, so let’s start sharing! Today, I’m starting a regular feature on the blog called “Put It To Work.” It’s a weekly swap of prayer intentions. I’ll share mine, and I’d love it if you’d share yours!
Instead of just talking about what’s going on in our lives, we are going to do something about it on Mondays. Are you walking with pep in your step and are bursting with joy this morning? Fantastic! Put it to work! Is something bringing you down that’s contributing to your “case of the Mondays”? Instead of letting it take over the day or week, put it to work, too! Put it all to work. We are going to encourage each other to actively unite all of it to the Cross–our prayers, works, joys, and sufferings of every single day. No more wasting any of it. Put it to work.
My Intentions This Week:
Philip is taking his pediatric board exams all day today. Please keep him in your prayers! What are physician board exams, you ask? Well…when a physician passes his or her board exams, they become “board certified.” This means that they passed a test showing their competence in their area of medicine. For Philip, this would mean that he demonstrated his competence in pediatrics.
As Philip puts it, “It’s like being a car repairman who is certified to repair Hondas. The people with Hondas are going to think you’re the most qualified to fix their cars. The board certified physicians are the most qualified in their area of medicine.”
So, please keep the guy in your prayers today!
In addition to praying for Philip with his board exams, can you please add these intentions to your prayers?
- Our GodTeens – that this week’s meeting will draw them closer to God, especially for those who may be doubting God’s existence or His Love
- For me – perseverance with morning prayer time, patience and gentleness with the children instead of impatience or anger
Please share your prayer intentions in the comments below, on Facebook, or via e-mail. Philip and I are sharing a weekly holy hour, and it’s my turn to go tonight. What intentions can I bring before the Lord in adoration? Please pass them along, and I’ll write them down in my prayer journal before I go. I loved bringing your intentions with me last time, and I continue to pray for them.
I hope you’re having a great start to your week! How are you going to put your prayers, works, joys, and sufferings to work today?
Morning Offering
O Jesus,
through the Immaculate Heart of Mary,
I offer You my prayers, works,
joys and sufferings
of this day for all the intentions
of Your Sacred Heart,
in union with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass
throughout the world,
in reparation for my sins,
for the intentions of all my relatives and friends,
and in particular
for the intentions of the Holy Father.
Amen.
by Catherine | Oct 4, 2014 | Marriage
Have you ever known a jokester? I married one.
The good news: Philip makes me laugh everyday–usually several times.
The bad news: I never know when to take him seriously.
I warn Philip all the time that he can’t use his unique Philip brand of humor on people he just met. His M.O. is a special blend of dry humor, wit, sarcasm, and subtle delivery to catch his victim off guard. Few things please him more than making other people laugh until they cry.
Unfortunately, Philip forgets that people don’t receive humor the same way, they might be having a bad day, or that they might believe him when he’s just being a goof. Having been married to the guy for six and a half years, my default reaction to Philip’s humor is a laugh and a sarcastic, “Yeah, yeah. Ha, ha. C’mon, what really happened?”
This isn’t a problem unless Philip is being serious and trying to get my attention.
Last night, as I was bent over the sink washing my face after our fun date night, I felt Monty walk between the bathroom cabinets and my legs and lay on my feet. He was whimpering quietly.
“Hmmm, that’s weird,” I thought, slightly freaked out by feeling our dog lay on my feet while I washed my face.
Two seconds later, Philip came in the bedroom and said something I couldn’t understand over the faucet.
“What?” I asked, still blind to the world without my glasses and drying off my face.
As I put my glasses on, Philip said it again. “Monty brought a dead mouse into the house and onto our bed.”
“He WHAT?!“
Oh, Philip loved that!
Between laughs, he said, “Yeah, Monty brought a dead mouse into the house, and he put it on our bed.”
“Whatever,” I wasn’t taking the bait. “No, he didn’t. He’d never do that. He’s too afraid.”
Philip just pointed to the comforter. I couldn’t see where he was pointing over the footboard. This stubborn German refused to budge and investigate because I thought Philip was still pulling my leg.
“Yes, he did. Look!” Oh, he was loving it. “There is a dead mouse on our bed!”
After going back and forth for probably two minutes, I gave Philip my, “Fine, I don’t believe you, but I’ll look because this has gone on long enough” look, and I walked over to the bed.
And there it was.
I saw his tail first.
A little dead charcoal-colored mouse.
On our comforter.
I reacted how any red-blooded woman who loves her bedding would. “Get it OUT OF HERE! EWWWWW!”
I think that was Philip’s favorite part.
“Okay, let me go and get something. I’ll be right back. Keep Monty away from it.”
Monty didn’t need to be told to stay away from the dead mouse. He laid down on the ground by the bed and wouldn’t stop whimpering. It’s like he was saying, “Oh, Mama, I just thought I was bringing in a new playmate for us. I didn’t know he was DEAD! What have I done?!” I had visions of the mouse coming back to life and disappearing under a nightstand where we wouldn’t be able to find him until the next day.
Philip came back a minute later with the grill tongs covered by a Ziploc bag. Philip was brave until he made it to the doorway and the mouse’s weight shifted. Philip startled, thinking it had come back to life, let out a little shriek, and dropped the tongs to the floor. That was my turn to laugh!
I chased Philip downstairs and told him I had to get a picture of this moment before he disposed of the mouse.
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| My jokester hero husband and the dead mouse |
Every time we have an incident like this, I tell Philip that he needs to be less of a jokester because I never know when I’m supposed to believe him. Philip is like the Boy Who Cried ‘Wolf!’ He teases me so much that I never believe him when I’m supposed to take him seriously.
We still don’t know for sure whether Monty found his little friend outside or (shudder) inside. I don’t think our scaredy cat pup has it in him to kill a mouse, so that makes me think it was already dead and he just carried it in. I told Philip last night, “If Monty found that mouse inside and there are MICE IN OUR HOUSE, I’m checking out until they are gone. We’d have a grand old time at the Embassy Suites!” I’m only half kidding. I know that mice are normal this time of year as the weather gets cold and the little rodents seek warmth indoors, blah blah blah, but I don’t want ’em inside! It’s extra icky when you have a wee little babe like Harry who’s still crawling around and getting into everything. Blech.
I haven’t seen any signs of them, but, Lord, please don’t let there be mice in our home! Who’s the patron saint of rodent extermination? Google tells me it’s St. Martin de Porres. St. Martin de Porres, help a girl out!
by Catherine | Oct 3, 2014 | Family
A quick photo recap of the week:
My brother and sister-in-law hosted us for a fun football/September birthday party last Saturday. The kids had a ball playing with their cousins. I love watching their friendships grow every time we get together. Aren’t they so lucky to have so many cousins?!
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| Harry and Sam |
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| Jane and Lucy |
Sunday afternoon, we attended my sister’s parish festival. What a great event! It was so well-organized, and they had a bunch of fun activities to choose from.
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| Jane was starstruck when she met some of the Husker cheerleaders and got to hold their pons |
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| Jane and Walt both had a ball riding this adorable train around the parish parking lot |
Philip took Walt to preschool on Tuesday, and he snapped this adorable shot.
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| Walt loves to bolt out of the car and find the nearest “big friend” to help him open the door since he can’t do it yet himself. “Can you please help me open the door?!” |
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| Philip walked to school with Harry to pick Walt up. It was sprinkling, so he brought his huge golf umbrella along. It kept the little guys dry for the walk home! |
Harry had a check-up this week. While I hung out with Harry during his check-up, Walt got to play cars with Daddy in his office.
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| He loves going to Daddy’s office! |
Our family prayer time has migrated to our bedroom floor. We sit in a circle on the floor, each family member shares their favorite part of the day, we say our prayers (Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be, Guardian Angel prayer, and “God bless _____” every member of the family), then we do big hugs. Here are the kids doing their wrestle/hug time.
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| Harry is thrilled to finally be able to roughhouse with the big kids! |
To my dismay, Mr. Harry mastered opening and emptying drawers this week. Babyproofing more drawers got bumped up on the weekend to-do list. The little stinker is just like Jane and Walt were at that age. All of our children adore going from one drawer to the next as quickly as they can, removing and throwing whatever they can find as quickly as possible.
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| At least he’s adorable. Just *look* at him on those tippy toes! |
On Wednesday (October 1, the feast of St. Thérèse of Lisieux), Jane brought home this drawing.
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“It’s me and my sister.”
“What are you doing in the picture?
“Thérèse and I are holding hands under a rainbow in heaven.”
Jane didn’t know it was St. Thérèse’s Feast Day, so it made this little drawing even sweeter. Jane loves talking about Thérèse and prays for another baby sister all the time
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We had another sweet surprise on Wednesday:
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| Philip found this outside when he came home from work. “You are being prayed for today!” Someone knew we were missing our own “ittle bitty Little Flower” on the Feast of St. Thérèse. How sweet and thoughtful! Whoever you are, thank you! |
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| While Walt was at preschool and Harry had his morning nap on Thursday, I gave Jane a little manicure at the kitchen table. She requested pink with a coat of sparkles on top. The girl was in heaven, and she proudly showed her fingers to her teacher at preschool pick-up. |
Look what greeted me when I brought Jane and Walt home from gymnastics–a candlelit dinner!
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| While Jane, Walt, and I were at gymnastics, Philip was busy entertaining Harry and making a gourmet dinner. He grilled some delicious ribs and asparagus and served them with fresh strawberries. He even lit some taper candles to add to the fun. What a guy! |
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| Big hugs for Daddy as he left for work this morning |
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| “Bye, bye, Daddy!” |
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| It was a chilly fall today, but we had to get outside and soak in the sun before nap time. |
What are you up to this weekend? Any exciting plans?
Here’s what’s on our docket: a date night, a trip to get a new family pet (details to come!), serious baby-proofing, a possible outing for donuts pending the kids’ good behavior for their babysitter (C’mon, kids! Mama wants donuts!), watching the Huskers, the 3rd Annual Mel Invitational (9-hole golf tournament with my family, named for Grandpa Mel), and getting Philip ready for his Pediatric Board exams on Monday. It should be a fun weekend! Please keep Philip in your prayers as he prepared for boards.
by Catherine | Sep 29, 2014 | Family
Last weekend was absolutely GORGEOUS! We decided to take advantage of the beautiful day and make a family trip to Roca Berry Farm.
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| Map of Roca Berry Farm |
What a fun day!
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| Photographic evidence that I was actually there |
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| Jane, getting in touch with her country side |
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| Jane and Walt loved riding this pedal-operated cart with Philip |
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| These bouncy “pillows” were the kids’ favorite part of the day |
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| Jane and Walt in “Candy Land” |
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| I love the gingerbread man’s cheesy smile |
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| Flirty Harry, waiting for lunch in his stroller |
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| Screaming at the ghosts in the “Moon Light Hotel” |
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| Jane struck this pose and said, “Mama, take my picture!” She thought it was her senior photo shoot. |
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| Goofballs posing with the ghosts |
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| Poor Walt! A chicken pecked him through the fence. Fortunately, Daddy was there to swoop in with a big kiss. Every time we moved on to a new activity, Walt would ask, “Will the mean chicken be there?!” |
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| I think I took 50 pictures of them in front of this tree. This was the best one. It’s got Christmas card written all over it, right?! |
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| On the lookout for “the mean chicken” on the hayrack ride |
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Posing with their pumpkins on the porch before nap time
There is a huge pumpkin patch nearby with all kinds of attractions. It’s like the Disney World of the pumpkin patch world. All of you Nebraskans know the one. My goal in life (or at least for the next few years) is to keep that place under wraps and keep enjoying the smaller places like Roca. If one of you tells our kids about this fabled other pumpkin patch, our friendship is over!
I loved that we only paid for admission, the kids were able to lead the way throughout the farm without fear of losing them or having them find something not age appropriate, we didn’t wait in lines, and there were only a few “really spooky” things.
My favorite part? On the ride home, the kids declared that it was “the best day ever!”
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