![The 1st "P" in Our Family's Rule of Life: Prayer]()
by Catherine | Jan 16, 2015 | Faith
Yesterday, I shared that I’m revisiting our Family’s Rule of Life (inspired by Holly Pierlot’s book A Mother’s Rule of Life). If you have no idea what I’m talking about, read yesterday’s post. I explained what a “Rule of Life” is, discussed my vocation (Child of God, wife, mother) and its essential duties, shared our family’s mission statement, and set myself up to dive into the “5 P’s.”
The 5 P’s are:
- Prayer
- Person
- Partner
- Parent
- Provider
Today, let’s look at the 1st P: Prayer
I’m a very visual learner, and I love schedules, so reading how Holly Pierlot laid out her prayer routine in A Mother’s Rule of Life was very helpful. Thanks be to God, my prayer life continues to deepen and change since I first wrote about it last February, so I wanted to revisit things in the blog.
What hasn’t changed is the necessity of routinizing our days. Without a schedule, my prayer life flounders. As Holly Pierlot says, “God isn’t so obviously urgent, because he doesn’t pester us for our attention like our children or a sloppy house can.” I followed Holly’s advice to come up with a list of all of the different prayers/practices that I want to comprise my spiritual life. As I’m writing this, that means:
- My personal daily prayers (More on my personal routine below)
- Family evening prayer (Share intentions, teach the children a new prayer each month, and our standard bedtime prayers – Guardian Angel prayer, and say “God bless ______” every member of the family)
- Couple prayer before bed (Read a reflection on a mystery of the Rosary and pray one decade together followed by spontaneous prayer and intentions)
- Shared holy hour (Philip and I alternate attending a shared holy hour once a week)
- Mass (Every Sunday and a goal of starting 2x/month with the kids to daily Mass)
- Confession once a month during my “Mother’s Sabbath” on Saturday afternoons
- Finding a spiritual director (by the end of this month) and starting monthly meetings
After making the list, Holly says we have to find pockets of time for those things before everything else. Otherwise, they’ll get relegated away to the things that seem more “obviously urgent.” So, I set about finding regular, dependable pockets of time when I could have my personal prayer, we could come together as a family, and Philip and I could pray together as a couple. Routinizing our prayer lives has helped us to stay on track. Today, I thought I’d dive a little deeper into my personal prayer routine to give you an idea of what it looks like. I’m mainly focusing on my morning, afternoon, and evening prayers, but know that we have family prayer and couple prayer mixed in there throughout the day.
Morning Prayer
I love how I’ve been starting my days. I set my alarm to 5:45 so that I can get up and have some dedicated quiet prayer time before my day starts. There is no way I would be successful at having my quiet prayer time if I didn’t have Philip. We’ve been working on “training” Jane and Walt (our preschoolers) to stay in their rooms until 6:30. (More on the morning routine and how we juggle everything in a future post on our schedule.) Philip helps to keep things reasonably quiet and starts breakfast on the days that he’s not going to the gym. Meanwhile, I retreat downstairs.
First, the coffee. Morning prayer demands coffee, and my coffee demands a whole lotta delicious creamer.
Then, I find my morning prayer materials:
My prayer journal is a simple, lined leather-bound journal that I bought last year at Walmart.
When I came up with this new prayer routine, I decided to add a few things to my journal to personalize it. I thought it would be helpful if I typed up and included my prayer routine on the inside front cover. This way, I would have it handy as I memorized when I would include the various practices during the day.
Opposite my prayer routine is a typed-up version of the Morning Offering.
I simply printed off the docs and taped them inside of my journal.
With my materials ready to go, I close my eyes. I start by asking God to help me quiet my mind, I ask Him to open my ears and soften my heart. Then, I start by journaling my little conversations with God. After saying “hello,” I open up to the daily readings. Then, I might find a corresponding passage from the Catechism, read a Gospel reflection, or journal whatever God is putting on my heart. Afterward, I’ll choose a vice to tackle for the day and think of a penance for every time I fail. I’ll review my daily schedule, asking God to sanctify our day. Then, I’ll close with a Morning Offering.
Kid Naptime
During the kids’ naps (and Jane’s quiet time), I give myself more flexibility and choose from a variety of things:
- Consider my progress in tackling the virtue I want to work on, renew my desire to change
- Read my current spiritual reading material (usually something written by a member of my Board of Spiritual Directors or something about my vocation)
- Read a psalm
- Pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet
On the inside back cover of my prayer journal is a typed-up version of the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. I like to listen to some beautiful versions of the chaplet being sung on Spotify. Do you have a favorite version to share?
Bedtime
After Philip and I have our couple prayer time and I drift off to sleep, I like to review the hours of the day and do an examination of conscience. I close by praying the Act of Contrition, and I add my other favorite prayers (Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, Memorare, St. Michael). I like to do my formal examination of conscience on Saturdays during my “Mother’s Sabbath.”
Questions for you:
What does your prayer life look like these days? Have you found a routine that’s working for you? What is helping you to stick with it? If not, what are the obstacles?
* * *
Tomorrow, we’ll take a little break from our Family’s Rule of Life for a fun post. I’ll pick up next time with the 2nd P, Person.
![The 1st “P” in Our Family’s Rule of Life: Prayer]()
by Catherine | Jan 16, 2015 | Faith
Yesterday, I shared that I’m revisiting our Family’s Rule of Life (inspired by Holly Pierlot’s book A Mother’s Rule of Life). If you have no idea what I’m talking about, read yesterday’s post. I explained what a “Rule of Life” is, discussed my vocation (Child of God, wife, mother) and its essential duties, shared our family’s mission statement, and set myself up to dive into the “5 P’s.”
The 5 P’s are:
- Prayer
- Person
- Partner
- Parent
- Provider
Today, let’s look at the 1st P: Prayer
I’m a very visual learner, and I love schedules, so reading how Holly Pierlot laid out her prayer routine in A Mother’s Rule of Life was very helpful. Thanks be to God, my prayer life continues to deepen and change since I first wrote about it last February, so I wanted to revisit things in the blog.
What hasn’t changed is the necessity of routinizing our days. Without a schedule, my prayer life flounders. As Holly Pierlot says, “God isn’t so obviously urgent, because he doesn’t pester us for our attention like our children or a sloppy house can.” I followed Holly’s advice to come up with a list of all of the different prayers/practices that I want to comprise my spiritual life. As I’m writing this, that means:
- My personal daily prayers (More on my personal routine below)
- Family evening prayer (Share intentions, teach the children a new prayer each month, and our standard bedtime prayers – Guardian Angel prayer, and say “God bless ______” every member of the family)
- Couple prayer before bed (Read a reflection on a mystery of the Rosary and pray one decade together followed by spontaneous prayer and intentions)
- Shared holy hour (Philip and I alternate attending a shared holy hour once a week)
- Mass (Every Sunday and a goal of starting 2x/month with the kids to daily Mass)
- Confession once a month during my “Mother’s Sabbath” on Saturday afternoons
- Finding a spiritual director (by the end of this month) and starting monthly meetings
After making the list, Holly says we have to find pockets of time for those things before everything else. Otherwise, they’ll get relegated away to the things that seem more “obviously urgent.” So, I set about finding regular, dependable pockets of time when I could have my personal prayer, we could come together as a family, and Philip and I could pray together as a couple. Routinizing our prayer lives has helped us to stay on track. Today, I thought I’d dive a little deeper into my personal prayer routine to give you an idea of what it looks like. I’m mainly focusing on my morning, afternoon, and evening prayers, but know that we have family prayer and couple prayer mixed in there throughout the day.
Morning Prayer
I love how I’ve been starting my days. I set my alarm to 5:45 so that I can get up and have some dedicated quiet prayer time before my day starts. There is no way I would be successful at having my quiet prayer time if I didn’t have Philip. We’ve been working on “training” Jane and Walt (our preschoolers) to stay in their rooms until 6:30. (More on the morning routine and how we juggle everything in a future post on our schedule.) Philip helps to keep things reasonably quiet and starts breakfast on the days that he’s not going to the gym. Meanwhile, I retreat downstairs.
First, the coffee. Morning prayer demands coffee, and my coffee demands a whole lotta delicious creamer.
Then, I find my morning prayer materials:
My prayer journal is a simple, lined leather-bound journal that I bought last year at Walmart.
When I came up with this new prayer routine, I decided to add a few things to my journal to personalize it. I thought it would be helpful if I typed up and included my prayer routine on the inside front cover. This way, I would have it handy as I memorized when I would include the various practices during the day.
Opposite my prayer routine is a typed-up version of the Morning Offering.
I simply printed off the docs and taped them inside of my journal.
With my materials ready to go, I close my eyes. I start by asking God to help me quiet my mind, I ask Him to open my ears and soften my heart. Then, I start by journaling my little conversations with God. After saying “hello,” I open up to the daily readings. Then, I might find a corresponding passage from the Catechism, read a Gospel reflection, or journal whatever God is putting on my heart. Afterward, I’ll choose a vice to tackle for the day and think of a penance for every time I fail. I’ll review my daily schedule, asking God to sanctify our day. Then, I’ll close with a Morning Offering.
Kid Naptime
During the kids’ naps (and Jane’s quiet time), I give myself more flexibility and choose from a variety of things:
- Consider my progress in tackling the virtue I want to work on, renew my desire to change
- Read my current spiritual reading material (usually something written by a member of my Board of Spiritual Directors or something about my vocation)
- Read a psalm
- Pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet
On the inside back cover of my prayer journal is a typed-up version of the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. I like to listen to some beautiful versions of the chaplet being sung on Spotify. Do you have a favorite version to share?
Bedtime
After Philip and I have our couple prayer time and I drift off to sleep, I like to review the hours of the day and do an examination of conscience. I close by praying the Act of Contrition, and I add my other favorite prayers (Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, Memorare, St. Michael). I like to do my formal examination of conscience on Saturdays during my “Mother’s Sabbath.”
Questions for you:
What does your prayer life look like these days? Have you found a routine that’s working for you? What is helping you to stick with it? If not, what are the obstacles?
* * *
Tomorrow, we’ll take a little break from our Family’s Rule of Life for a fun post. I’ll pick up next time with the 2nd P, Person.
![Over at CatholicMom: Responding Instead of Reacting]()
by Catherine | Jan 15, 2015 | Family, Marriage
One of my many resolutions in 2015 is to start responding instead of reacting.
What’s the difference between responding and reacting? Here are a few words I would use to describe the two options we have when conflict arises.
Reacting:
- Immediate
- Fight/flight
- Feeling like a victim
- Emotional
- Impulsive
- Not gathering all of the information
- Passive aggressive
- Short-sighted
- Overreacting
- Jumping to conclusions
- Avoiding
- Unproductive
Responding:
- Open
- Listening (though not always agreeing)
- Respecting (though not always agreeing)
- Loving (though not always agreeing)
- Deliberate
- Thoughtful
- Rational
- Taking responsibility
- Productive
- Solution-based
- Cooperative
- Collaborative
It is so, so, so easy for me to jump into a habit of reacting when I’m in survival mode. The stressor could be the holidays, illness, having a newborn, a teething toddler, a preschooler waging an epic battle of wills, a stressed out husband, or the day-to-day demands of running a home with a growing family. It’s easy for me to pick any of those opportunities to start (over)reacting all over the place…[Read the rest at CatholicMom]
![Revisiting Our Family’s Rule of Life]()
by Catherine | Jan 15, 2015 | Faith, Family, Marriage, The Homefront
I first read Holly Pierlot’s A Mother’s Rule of Life back in Lent 2014. As part of my Lenten mission, I came up with a rough sketch of our Family Rule of Life. Since then, we have moved to a new house in a new city. Now that we’re settled, the kids are back in the school routine, and the craziness of the holidays are over, I’m ready to share how I started revisiting our Family Rule of Life during Advent. While my vocation and its essential duties remain the same, our surroundings, the children’s development, our relationships with God and each other have changed significantly.
Before I jump in, let’s circle back to revisit a few things:
First, what’s a “Rule of Life”?
Holly Pierlot defines a rule of life as an “examination of one’s vocation and the duties it entails, and the development of a schedule for fulfilling these responsibilities in a consistent and orderly way.”
Before I pulled together the first draft of our schedule last year, I needed to determine:
- What’s my vocation? (My answer is what I call this the proper hierarchy of relationships. The order is very intentional here.)
- Child of God
- Wife
- Mother
- What are the essential duties that my vocation entails?
- Child of God: Sustain a regular prayer life, frequent the sacraments, attend Mass, and show my love of God through my love of neighbor. I also have the responsibility to care for myself (personal prayer, recreation, good nutrition, exercise, rest) so that I can perform all of my duties well. (My duties to self will be explored more with the 2nd P, Person.)
- Wife: Holly Pierlot quotes Saint Pope John Paul II as saying that love could be defined as “availability, acceptance, and help.” As a wife, I have the duty to: be available to my husband (Ever hear of SPICE in your NFP training? We are to be available to our spouses Spiritually, Physically, Intellectually, Creatively, Emotionally), be accepting of all of him, and to be a helper instead of a hindrance on his journey to sainthood. In order to fulfill my duties as a wife, I need to keep my relationship with Philip second only to my relationship with God, but above all relationships–even our children.
- Mother: I can’t sum up my duties as a mother more succinctly than Holly Pierlot did in her section on parenting. She says that it is a “call to form persons. We’re called to bring God to our children’s spirits, truth to their minds, health to their bodies, skill to their hands, beauty and creativity to their hearts, and in all this, virtue to their wills and sanctity to their souls.” To be my children’s primary educator means remembering Pope Pius XI’s wise words that, “Education consists essentially in preparing man for what he must be, and for what he must do here below, in order to attain the sublime end for which he was created.” In sum, it’s my job as a Christian mother to foster my children’s relationship with God so that they can: hear His voice calling them to their specific vocation, receive the graces to live it out well, and glorify Him through their lives as a preparation for their eternal reward with Him. Ultimately, it’s my job as a mother to raise my children to become saints.
With my vocation and essential duties at the forefront of our minds, Philip and I worked together last year to create our family mission statement. Here it is:
The Boucher Family is a domestic church whose mission is to know, love, and serve God. Our aim is to live intentionally as Jesus’ disciples, propel one another to sainthood, and joyfully share our love of God with others.
I still want to get our family mission statement on canvas to hang in our kitchen. Any suggestions on a great Etsy shop or artist?
With my vocation’s duties outlined and our family mission statement written, I set out to re-draft our family’s schedule. A lot has changed in one year! In order to do that, I re-examined what Holly Pierlot calls the “5 Ps.”
- Prayer
- Person
- Partner
- Parent
- Provider
Your Turn:
- What would you consider the essential duties of your vocation?
- If you had a family mission statement, what would it say?
- Are you fulfilling the essential duties of your vocation? If not, what practical changes can you make today?
- What is keeping you from fulfilling your essential duties?
- Are you preventing someone else from fulfilling his/her essential duties?
If you’re interested in creating your own Rule of Life, read A Mother’s Rule of Life and visit Holly Pierlot’s website for some great resources. I would LOVE to go through the 5 P’s with you!
![Revisiting Our Family's Rule of Life]()
by Catherine | Jan 15, 2015 | Faith, Family, Marriage, The Homefront
I first read Holly Pierlot’s A Mother’s Rule of Life back in Lent 2014. As part of my Lenten mission, I came up with a rough sketch of our Family Rule of Life. Since then, we have moved to a new house in a new city. Now that we’re settled, the kids are back in the school routine, and the craziness of the holidays are over, I’m ready to share how I started revisiting our Family Rule of Life during Advent. While my vocation and its essential duties remain the same, our surroundings, the children’s development, our relationships with God and each other have changed significantly.
Before I jump in, let’s circle back to revisit a few things:
First, what’s a “Rule of Life”?
Holly Pierlot defines a rule of life as an “examination of one’s vocation and the duties it entails, and the development of a schedule for fulfilling these responsibilities in a consistent and orderly way.”
Before I pulled together the first draft of our schedule last year, I needed to determine:
- What’s my vocation? (My answer is what I call this the proper hierarchy of relationships. The order is very intentional here.)
- Child of God
- Wife
- Mother
- What are the essential duties that my vocation entails?
- Child of God: Sustain a regular prayer life, frequent the sacraments, attend Mass, and show my love of God through my love of neighbor. I also have the responsibility to care for myself (personal prayer, recreation, good nutrition, exercise, rest) so that I can perform all of my duties well. (My duties to self will be explored more with the 2nd P, Person.)
- Wife: Holly Pierlot quotes Saint Pope John Paul II as saying that love could be defined as “availability, acceptance, and help.” As a wife, I have the duty to: be available to my husband (Ever hear of SPICE in your NFP training? We are to be available to our spouses Spiritually, Physically, Intellectually, Creatively, Emotionally), be accepting of all of him, and to be a helper instead of a hindrance on his journey to sainthood. In order to fulfill my duties as a wife, I need to keep my relationship with Philip second only to my relationship with God, but above all relationships–even our children.
- Mother: I can’t sum up my duties as a mother more succinctly than Holly Pierlot did in her section on parenting. She says that it is a “call to form persons. We’re called to bring God to our children’s spirits, truth to their minds, health to their bodies, skill to their hands, beauty and creativity to their hearts, and in all this, virtue to their wills and sanctity to their souls.” To be my children’s primary educator means remembering Pope Pius XI’s wise words that, “Education consists essentially in preparing man for what he must be, and for what he must do here below, in order to attain the sublime end for which he was created.” In sum, it’s my job as a Christian mother to foster my children’s relationship with God so that they can: hear His voice calling them to their specific vocation, receive the graces to live it out well, and glorify Him through their lives as a preparation for their eternal reward with Him. Ultimately, it’s my job as a mother to raise my children to become saints.
With my vocation and essential duties at the forefront of our minds, Philip and I worked together last year to create our family mission statement. Here it is:
The Boucher Family is a domestic church whose mission is to know, love, and serve God. Our aim is to live intentionally as Jesus’ disciples, propel one another to sainthood, and joyfully share our love of God with others.
I still want to get our family mission statement on canvas to hang in our kitchen. Any suggestions on a great Etsy shop or artist?
With my vocation’s duties outlined and our family mission statement written, I set out to re-draft our family’s schedule. A lot has changed in one year! In order to do that, I re-examined what Holly Pierlot calls the “5 Ps.”
- Prayer
- Person
- Partner
- Parent
- Provider
Your Turn:
- What would you consider the essential duties of your vocation?
- If you had a family mission statement, what would it say?
- Are you fulfilling the essential duties of your vocation? If not, what practical changes can you make today?
- What is keeping you from fulfilling your essential duties?
- Are you preventing someone else from fulfilling his/her essential duties?
If you’re interested in creating your own Rule of Life, read A Mother’s Rule of Life and visit Holly Pierlot’s website for some great resources. I would LOVE to go through the 5 P’s with you!
