First, I shared my laundry list of excuses why I haven’t recorded a podcast episode the past few weeks.
My Holiday Mental Health Saving Tips:
- Healthy expectations – people don’t magically change because of the holiday
- Treat everyone in your family (including yourself) like a toddler
- Meet the primary needs (rest, hunger, affection, down time, routine whenever possible)
- Know your and your family’s limits, discuss them with your spouse, and advocate for yourselves
- Don’t agree to a family gathering in the middle of naptime
- Don’t agree to stay well past bedtime on Christmas Eve
- Clarify rough expectations ahead of time and communicate yours as well
- Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. You can’t please everyone.
- BUT be flexible(ish)
- Get creative – on/off years, gathering the weekend before or after the holiday with one family
- Plan ahead and do things starting now, little by little
- Get Advent candles now (First Sunday of Advent is 12/2)
- Christmas cards?
- Work on addresses now
- Order card next week
- Make it fun – set aside evening to stick labels with husband while watching current Netflix binge
- Gifts
- Start creating lists of all recipients (bonus points if you’ve been jotting down ideas throughout the year)
- My goal is to have everything ordered and if possible delivered and wrapped by the time Advent starts (this year, 12/2)
- Important to remember: The kids will remember the overall feeling of what the holidays were like and not necessarily the gifts. If you’re stressed out and miserable trying to make it the “perfect” day, the kids will remember stressed out and miserable Mama instead of the picture perfectness of the day.
- Keep # of gifts limited – they’ll be getting plenty of gifts
- You can encourage parents and in-laws in a certain direction for gifts (some families want lists or explicit instructions). There’s a growing trend to ask grandparents for “experience gifts” like a fun weekend getaway with grandparents or swimming lessons, zoo/museum memberships.
- Some of your parents or in-laws might be on-board with this idea. If not, let them give gifts how they want. You might be a minimalist and get stressed out by the number of gifts you’re hauling home from the various family gatherings. Don’t let this dampen the holidays. If gift giving is a certain family member’s love language, let them do their thing. If the worst that happens is having to make a return or letting that thing come and live at your house until it gets ignored a week later, then so be it. It’s not worth hurting that family member’s feelings.
- Do a toy purge ahead of time with the kids to make room for new gifts.
- We tell our kids that it’s time to donate things when we get to the point that they’re no longer picking things up and we’re spending more time picking things up than playing.
- No need to feel guilt for donating things that are fairly new. Don’t feel guilty exchanging gifts for things your family will actually use or can enjoy together.
- Revisit the family’s gift-giving approach between adults or for nieces/nephews/grandkids if it’s no longer working
I’ll share more about how we approach Advent and the Christmas season over the next few weeks!
Get in touch!
- What are YOUR holiday mental health tips and strategies? What did I forget? Do you have anything you want to add?
- Share your “Shine a Light” stories, let me know how the gratitude challenge is going for you, and as always, keep sending along your book/tv/movie recommendations! You guys haven’t led me astray yet!
- Next week, I’ll have my husband, Dr. Philip Boucher, Catholic dad and pediatrician extraordinaire on the show to answer your questions! Please send whatever parenting or pediatric-related questions my way, and we’ll try to get to all of them on the show next week.
- Contact me:
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